Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[loquere]

"What is that?"

 

[loquere]

"I've had fun over the last 20 years but this isn't going anywhere. I want the house."

 

[matriarch]

I'm trying hard to think of one, but I just wanted to say guys, I've only just come across this thread, and some of the posts had me laughing out loud. Great work.

 

[redhot_363236]

The title says it all. Have fun.

The "click-click-click" of a single action six behind you

 

[Euphony]

"The female orgasm is an abomination in the eyes of the lord."

 

[Euphony]

"You ever see that movie ' The Crying Game? "

 

[Saxon_Hart]

You ever hear bout them Vietnam bitches with razor blades in their pussies?

 

[JKendallDane]

Being right at THAT critical point during a $2.99 a minute sex phone call and hearing a background voice come over the receiver that says: "Grandma...can I have another cookie please?"

 

[Handley_Page]

Being right at THAT critical point during a $2.99 a minute sex phone call and hearing a background voice come over the receiver that says: "Grandma...can I have another cookie please?"

<laughter> Great !¬

 

[redhot_363236]

Woman: You don't have a very big organ
Man: Well, I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral

 

[loquere]

Pocket Dial

(Woman)“Wait stop... what is that other voice.... It's coming from your pocket.... take out your phone.”

(Man pulls out cell phone) “I want to kill myself.”

(Woman)”Oh my god who’d you pocket dial.

(Man)”My Mother”

 

[loquere]

"If I don't orgasm tonight I'm going to cut your fucking dick off."

 

[loquere]

"Your dad was better."

 

[loquere]

“Your granddad was better.”

 

[loquere]

“Your dog was better.”

 

[Handley_Page]

"The female orgasm is an abomination in the eyes of the lord."

Someone thinking about Michelle Bachman again ?

 

[loquere]

"I work for the IRS & this is part of your audit, just bend over & cough.”

 

[Hypoxia]

That was OK. Excuse me now. I need to pick at the scabs and let the pus run a little.

 

[Addicted2Writing]

Oh, Lord!

Good post!

"Are you done yet?"

And I actually said that in my pre-experienced days. I still can't believe I said that!

 

[lovecraft68]

Oh, that's just my mom, she always watches to make sure I'm doing it right.

 

[loquere]

"Is that it?"

 

[loquere]

"This is your way of telling a joke right? Wake me when the show starts."

 

[loquere]

".... What was your name again?"

 

[loquere]

"Huh, the drugs should have taken effect by now."

 

[Hypoxia]

"Want to hear what they told me at the clinic?"