Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[loquere]

Holdsh shtilshz forsh a minutesh...I lostsh minsh denturshs insh theresh ansh Ish needsh toosh digsh themsh outsh.

.

Hah!!

 

[My I]

"Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!"

 

[Hypoxia]

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

 

[ChloeTzang]

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

Screams!

 

[Smoothshavendad]

Honey, I think we need to paint the ceiling.

 

[loquere]

You look different now that I have light, get off me, and get out!

 

[loquere]

Is that it?

 

[loquere]

Are you ready to die?

 

[loquere]

I am shiva the god of death

 

[My I]

Not so much a sound but a ... Smell?

Burning rubber!

 

[Hypoxia]

"Thank you, Lord {JHWH}, for what we are about to receive, hey guys?"

 

[Wishingbox]

Ok is it in?

 

[Hypoxia]

Nice and easy, now... put that mandolin down. On the floor. Right there. Yeah, now turn around. Hands on the top of your head, y'hear? Okay, now bend over...

 

[ChloeTzang]

Where did I get that cucumber for the salad? Found it in your bedroom on your bed. What was it doing there anyhow?

 

[steelyblue73]

The elevator go "DING"!
True story...

 

[Hypoxia]

Boos and catcalls from the audience.

 

[loquere]

Keep at it, I'll be right back I just need to nuke North Korea real quick.

 

[bone251]

It's the dog, hide your balls!

 

[tedsbeds]

It's the dog, hide your balls!

Michael?! I thought your name was Michelle!

 

[JKendallDane]

What do you mean the fish tank is empty? That's where Fred my boa constrictor should be.

.

 

[loquere]

Oh my god there's a bear, run!

 

[ChloeTzang]

Oh my god there's a bear, run!

Honey, the bear's got a woody and I think he wants to join in...

 

[JerseyJade]

Someone walking in the room.

 

[rae121452]

"i have cholera."

 

[ChloeTzang]

"i have cholera."

"Not going to need any lube when I stick that dildo in then, am I?"