Thinkings, feelings and...doings ~ 2013

[prettyserpentine]

Thinking: I wonder what colour of lipstick best goes with this dress? And holy crap this bustier makes my boobs look awesome.

Feeling: Positive. It's always nice to make an effort, even if it's just for a little retail therapy.

Doing: Accessorising, baby!!

 

[Britwitch]

LT ~ Another day closer! makes mental note Must work on notes tonight.

Feeling ~ Pretty damn tired.

Doing ~ Cooking spaghetti bolognese

 

[thestruggle]

Working. Kind of a contemplative day. Maybe I'll bake something.

 

[IvoryTigress]

Woot! I get to leave on time.


Sad that studying keeps me from writing.

Looking over old threads.

 

[Belvino]

I think I like this new combo.

 

[Miss_Vivi]

I think I like this new combo.

Looks good Be!

 

[ObscureInsanity]

Thinking: I really don't want to have to deal with those people tomorrow; I can't believe he thinks I'm cute--HE ACTUALLY THINKS <I'M> CUTE?!!!

Feeling: Eh... I need a distraction...

Doing: Listening to covers of popular tunes on youtube; tumblr scrolling.

 

[Miss_Vivi]

Thinking: I really don't want to have to deal with those people tomorrow; I can't believe he thinks I'm cute--HE ACTUALLY THINKS <I'M> CUTE?!!!

Feeling: Eh... I need a distraction...

Doing: Listening to covers of popular tunes on youtube; tumblr scrolling.

You are cute. Meant to say that to you in the pic thread. Adorbs, btw. And I get why you'd say something about not posting pics usually, cause I've been there myself. But! Fuck 'em.

So, the moral of the story is, you are cute, of course he thinks you're cute and why would that be a surprise?

 

[Belvino]

Looks good Be!

Thank you.

 

[ObscureInsanity]

You are cute. Meant to say that to you in the pic thread. Adorbs, btw. And I get why you'd say something about not posting pics usually, cause I've been there myself. But! Fuck 'em.

So, the moral of the story is, you are cute, of course he thinks you're cute and why would that be a surprise?

*Grins* I COULD HUG YOU IF YOU WERE STANDING BEFORE ME, MISS!!!

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. I'm trying to work on my self-esteem and body positivity! I am a bit surprised, just a bit, but he makes me smile by giving me such lovely compliments, so!!! *giggles, shrugs*

 

[Veroe]

I'm glad I don't have to go into work at 2am any more this week.

 

[Scuttle Buttin']

We all know that "Chinaman" is pretty goddamned racist, right?

 

[Veroe]

We all know that "Chinaman" is pretty goddamned racist, right?

That and a really bad name for a superhero.

 

[Light Ice]

We all know that "Chinaman" is pretty goddamned racist, right?

You referring to my Mets and Dan Warthen?

 

[prettyserpentine]

We all know that "Chinaman" is pretty goddamned racist, right?

Ehhh, yes.

Unless you're an innocent, simpering seductress or you own an Inn. Then it's okay.

 

[Britwitch]

We all know that "Chinaman" is pretty goddamned racist, right?

We do. Yes.

yawns with a shake of her head

 

[Light Ice]

We all know that "Chinaman" is pretty goddamned racist, right?

After ps made her post - I saw it in that thread.

No, I don't think it was racist in the way it was used. CG is older. It is a pretty common thing for older men in the US to use it to describe asians. Younger people are aware that it is offensive. Most older people are not.

 

[thestruggle]

Ehhh, yes.

Unless you're an innocent, simpering seductress or you own an Inn. Then it's okay.

https://31.media.tumblr.com/ae2ad74941e32a20e67da85752bde96a/tumblr_inline_n27h95vr0h1rquabx.gif

 

[Light Ice]

OK, no.
CG isn't 90.
Its been a long, LONG time since that word was OK.

If you're educated and from liberal parts of the country - yes, I agree. I don't know his situation or how old he is.

I'm not condoning the word. But I'm not going to condemn the guy, either. I've been here ten years and he's always been nothing but kind to anyone. My guess is that he meant nothing by it. It's not an OK word.

But that doesn't mean we have to freak out about it. It'd be reasonable to say something to him in PM and then give him the chance to behave respectably about it.

 

[Light Ice]

I'm not freaking out, I'm just saying that allowing someone to use a racist term because they are a little older is nuts.

You can't allow someone to do anything. I'm saying that it's better to speak to them directly and give them a chance to be a fucking human being about something like this than it is to post on a message board and have people rant about it forever.

Yes, chinaman is a very offensive word. Yes, it is steeped in racial intolerance.

But people deserve some forgiveness and a chance to say, "I'm sorry, it was wrong, I made a mistake."

 

[Light Ice]

And all I'm saying is excusing him because of his 'age' is silly.
I, personally, don't know him, and don't particularly care, this place has been significantly more offensive before. But age isn't an excuse.

It wasn't about excusing him. You don't excuse the use of a racially intolerant word. You do, however, take into account the individual and the circumstance. Frankly, if an asshole like me used the word, it'd be a bit more understandable to post passive-aggressively on another thread about it and let everyone rake me over the coals.

I've a history of saying awful and insensitive things.

But cgraven does not. He's always been polite, if not warm, to almost everyone on here. I'm almost 100% that he'd apologize and correct the entire thing sincerely if given a chance.

 

[Scuttle Buttin']

No one is freaking out. Given some of the shit you've said to people in here, it's rather ironic that you'd say that.

But we're not having this conversation about someone that lives in a nursing home and doesn't hear terribly well and his world basically stops at the door with the alarm on it.

We're on the internet. Discovering that a term for an entire group of people is racist is really, really easy. More so than checking your email, because it doesn't require a password.

I assume the next time you have the urge to lash out at someone, you'll do so in a PM, yes?

 

[thestruggle]

You can't allow someone to do anything. I'm saying that it's better to speak to them directly and give them a chance to be a fucking human being about something like this than it is to post on a message board and have people rant about it forever.

Yes, chinaman is a very offensive word. Yes, it is steeped in racial intolerance.

But people deserve some forgiveness and a chance to say, "I'm sorry, it was wrong, I made a mistake."

Nah. You shouldn't get a cookie for doing the right thing. Forgiveness is a construct. You don't "deserve" it, unless it serves to give the injured party some closure. That's still not saying it's something you deserved. Even then, I don't think it's something you should view as a "my sins have now been erased" or an "I was owed this" kind of deal. There's something rotten in that kind of thinking, in my opinion. It's way more important to live with your mistakes and forgive yourself for them. I think, though, the goal should always be to not make that same mistake again. Educating yourself is the best way to resolution or so it's been for me.

But if I ever heard anyone say the words, "I deserve to be forgiven" to me, I'd know they weren't really sorry.

 

[Veroe]

I think we may need to step back on the whole thing. CG has always been nothing but respectful and polite and tolerant to everyone for as long as he's been here.

So give him the benefit of the doubt before contemplating whether he's racist.

 

[Scuttle Buttin']

No one said he was a racist.

But the term, clearly, is.

We understand that this discussion is not taking place in private where he cannot see, right? He is free to read all of this and comment, or not.

We also need to quit acting like he was the only one using the term, and that he was doing so in private where no one else could see.