I'm a 39 year old virgin - ridiculous, I know. Started out as a good thing, now its just a good thing gone on waaaayyyyy toooooo long. So, how does one go about adding a daring side to what has been a really quiet social life? Is there such a thing as hiring a practice coach for this?
too long a virgin....now what
- Thread starter liza146
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firefighter02
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Practice coach?? Hmm sounds interesting...When do you begin taking applications LOL.
I am betting that the opportunities for the loss of the virginity are around you more than you know. For the daring side..I would talk with your female friends.
A good old fashioned college-type dare night works wonders. Looonng story.
Best wishes!
I am betting that the opportunities for the loss of the virginity are around you more than you know. For the daring side..I would talk with your female friends.
A good old fashioned college-type dare night works wonders. Looonng story.
Best wishes!
Liza146: You're not alone and I have you beat! I'm 45. Now, my younger female friends say that oral sex, which I did do a looonnngg time ago means I'm definitely NOT a virgin. My older female friends say penetration is the definer.
I was religious, fundamentalist christian until in my early 30s. No sex (penetration) before marriage and a whole lot of guilt re: anything else. Since then, I've been busy with career, owning houses, moving for my job and really haven't dated. Now I'm almost afraid to get out there.
Of course, my gay friends think I'm a lesbian, so I've had to mull that over as well. I work in a profession were nearly everyone is female or gay! I would have never believed I'd be in this position (or lack of one!).
I guess on one hand it's, what's the big deal - just go find a guy and get it over with. On the other hand, I'd like to at least like the guy attached to the first penis that makes it all the way, you know?
I'm glad you posted - I was trying to get up the nerve myself.
I was religious, fundamentalist christian until in my early 30s. No sex (penetration) before marriage and a whole lot of guilt re: anything else. Since then, I've been busy with career, owning houses, moving for my job and really haven't dated. Now I'm almost afraid to get out there.
Of course, my gay friends think I'm a lesbian, so I've had to mull that over as well. I work in a profession were nearly everyone is female or gay! I would have never believed I'd be in this position (or lack of one!).
I guess on one hand it's, what's the big deal - just go find a guy and get it over with. On the other hand, I'd like to at least like the guy attached to the first penis that makes it all the way, you know?
I'm glad you posted - I was trying to get up the nerve myself.
sammy29926
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hi ladies,
oww amazing.. i never thoug there is ladies in here who is virgins and older than 38.. Hey i was not makinf fun of u . i respect the decitins u ladies took.. and if u ever pass by Sc and like 26 years old guy le tme know..
Sammy
oww amazing.. i never thoug there is ladies in here who is virgins and older than 38.. Hey i was not makinf fun of u . i respect the decitins u ladies took.. and if u ever pass by Sc and like 26 years old guy le tme know..
Sammy
virgin_so_far
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I'm in the same boat ladies.. 33 now. I am seriously considering it and have a more then willing participant. Nice part is he hasn't even brought it up in almost a year but it's understood it's an "open invitation" sorta speak.. so if and when I decide to it's all on me... no pressure which is nice and lately I have been soo tempted. Since this has never been an issue I have never been, nor am I now on birth control. Sure he would use a condom but somehow it seems like there should be more to it...lol I am of course nerotic and terrified and wonder if I should be doing something in the BC dept. prior to making a decision it's time. I hate the idea of chemicals and the other options seem so much longer term..
I also wonder if maybe my hesitancy is more to do with the nature of relationship.. let's just say he will never be 100% emotionally or physically available to me...lol So not like this is a SO or even a boyfriend..but I definately have feelings for him and I know it's mutual... ugh so many decisions....lol
I also wonder if maybe my hesitancy is more to do with the nature of relationship.. let's just say he will never be 100% emotionally or physically available to me...lol So not like this is a SO or even a boyfriend..but I definately have feelings for him and I know it's mutual... ugh so many decisions....lol
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SweetErika
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virgin_so_far said:
If you're ready and not willing to go on the pill or another hormonal option, you might want to try a diaphragm or something like that (but be careful of spermicide- a lot of women are allergic to it). Using a back-up method is never a bad thing, so talk to your doctor or family planning clinic about all of your choices.
I completely understand your hesitancy about the nature of the relationship. I get emotionally attached to people I have sex with. Some people don't, but it sure hurts if you do! I would recommend going with your intuition on this and waiting for someone who's more available.
Best of luck to you!
zhukov1943
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SweetErika said:
A-men! Sweet Erika definitely has the right idea about this one!
virgin_so_far
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I have no doubt she does just not what I wanted to hear...lol
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SweetErika
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virgin_so_far said:
Sorry! I've just found it's more difficult to have sex with someone who's not physically or emotionally available. I used to do it a lot, and it was like punishing myself. I don't know anything about you or your relationship with this man, but you'll never go wrong trusting your instincts. As long as you feel really good about it, you won't be sorry.
virgin_so_far
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Well your just being the voice of reason.. no sorry necessary. I have no idea how I would feel about being that intimate with a guy who will never be 100% available.. half of me knows I would regret it in the morning... the other half is trying to convince me you won't know for sure till you try. Deep down I know your probebly right. It's not something I would have even considered a few years ago.. I was just starting to feel as thou maybe remaining a virgin till the right guy came along maybe wasn't such a reality anymore at 33. I think my feelings for this guy are already more then they should be for someone so "unavailable" so I know your right and things would just get worse if I took the plunge sorta speak.
G
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theanimal said:
Yeah, I was 23 almost 24 when I lost mine. Thought I was the last guy on earth to get some. lol! Now I'm into a 4 month drought since I currently have no gf. Ugh!
still a virgin
ceevee - thanks for posting. It started as a semi-religious thing and since I wasn't seriously interested in anyone, seemed easy enough to follow.
Now, I don't date much and, if I looked like the icon picture that appears for firefighter02, it probably wouldn't be a problem - lol.
On one hand, I just want to jump someone - for lack of a better way to put that. On the other hand, I should probably try to meet someone nice, etc. only, at this point, I don't know a good way to do that.
At this age, it might be easier if I was gay. But, women just don't turn me on, men do. Some guys should start a school...a little practice, a little foolin around....
If you have any ideas, please fill me in!
ceevee - thanks for posting. It started as a semi-religious thing and since I wasn't seriously interested in anyone, seemed easy enough to follow.
Now, I don't date much and, if I looked like the icon picture that appears for firefighter02, it probably wouldn't be a problem - lol.
On one hand, I just want to jump someone - for lack of a better way to put that. On the other hand, I should probably try to meet someone nice, etc. only, at this point, I don't know a good way to do that.
At this age, it might be easier if I was gay. But, women just don't turn me on, men do. Some guys should start a school...a little practice, a little foolin around....
If you have any ideas, please fill me in!
manofsteel52
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Re: still a virgin
Interesting... I've been thinking of going into a new line of work.
A school for mature virgins... I'm game, if you think you could handle it...
liza146 said:
Interesting... I've been thinking of going into a new line of work.
A school for mature virgins... I'm game, if you think you could handle it...
SweetErika
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Re: still a virgin
If you post an ad saying you just want sex, you'll get hundreds (or even thousands depending on the site) possible suitors. They might not be quality, but you'll have your pick and it might be the self-esteem boost you need to get out into the dating world.
You could try to make some male friends and go from there. You've got lots of options if you go with that plan... join a group, take a class, online networks, etc. That's the route I'd go.liza146 said:
If you post an ad saying you just want sex, you'll get hundreds (or even thousands depending on the site) possible suitors. They might not be quality, but you'll have your pick and it might be the self-esteem boost you need to get out into the dating world.
Hey lisa146 - I wish I did have some suggestions! I just haven't been dating either, obviously. I've made a good female friend recently who is very encouraging and she builds my self-esteem through her positive influence on me. Thanks to this friend, I am getting the courage to get out on-line and look for local guys. I've joined a few on-line dating sites. I do many things, classes, play in a concert band, but available men seem scarce in my part of the world! I hate bars. Do things you enjoy.
Manofsteel - thanks for the offer. Could be fun if we got to know each other and lived in the same area!
I'm off for a couple of weeks - keep us posted Lisa146 and I'll do the same when I'm back. I'm flying - should I go for the High Mile Club AND losing virginity at the same time???!! Alas, It's a small plane - hard to be in inconspicuous. Cheers.
Manofsteel - thanks for the offer. Could be fun if we got to know each other and lived in the same area!
I'm off for a couple of weeks - keep us posted Lisa146 and I'll do the same when I'm back. I'm flying - should I go for the High Mile Club AND losing virginity at the same time???!!
Alas, It's a small plane - hard to be in inconspicuous. Cheers.LOL is this where you sign up for the beyond 20 still a virgin support group?
I'm kinda surprised to see women who are virign at a late age though. I always thought it was the easiest thing in the world for women to lose. There goes that myth I guess we're all in the same boat in the end.
I Am 25, had a couple of chances I guess but I never took them because both girls were/are my friends and I didn't feel anything for them so I didn't wanna screw up our friendship. Other than that the few girls I dated, I never really hit it off with so it never felt right.
I dunno waiting for the right person could be a good thing but after a while you wonder if the "right person" you wait for is just an excuse so you don't have to deal with rejection or whatever the fear is:/
I'm kinda surprised to see women who are virign at a late age though. I always thought it was the easiest thing in the world for women to lose. There goes that myth
I guess we're all in the same boat in the end.I Am 25, had a couple of chances I guess but I never took them because both girls were/are my friends and I didn't feel anything for them so I didn't wanna screw up our friendship. Other than that the few girls I dated, I never really hit it off with so it never felt right.
I dunno waiting for the right person could be a good thing but after a while you wonder if the "right person" you wait for is just an excuse so you don't have to deal with rejection or whatever the fear is:/
SlvrTongueDevil
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Re: still a virgin
OK ... the professor is open for business. Applications will be accepted on line ...
liza146 said:
OK ... the professor is open for business. Applications will be accepted on line ...
Zergplex Says
Heh I don't think I would fit in a support group since I am still a virgin on my own free will. ^_^() One of the remaining practicers of abstinence...
-Zergplex
Bystander said:LOL is this where you sign up for the beyond 20 still a virgin support group?
I'm kinda surprised to see women who are virign at a late age though. I always thought it was the easiest thing in the world for women to lose. There goes that myth
I Am 25, had a couple of chances I guess but I never took them because both girls were/are my friends and I didn't feel anything for them so I didn't wanna screw up our friendship. Other than that the few girls I dated, I never really hit it off with so it never felt right.
I dunno waiting for the right person could be a good thing but after a while you wonder if the "right person" you wait for is just an excuse so you don't have to deal with rejection or whatever the fear is:/
Heh I don't think I would fit in a support group since I am still a virgin on my own free will. ^_^() One of the remaining practicers of abstinence...
-Zergplex
Cazper
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Re: Zergplex Says
Sorry for the bad inuendo... I'm sure once you are ready things will work out for you... sex is best when it's with the one you love
Good Luck!!!
You can still provide support Zerg... in fact I can think of something you could supportZergplex said:
Sorry for the bad inuendo... I'm sure once you are ready things will work out for you... sex is best when it's with the one you love
Good Luck!!!
Re: Re: still a virgin
Sweet Erika - you've got that right. A friend of mine thought I should put an add out looking for teacher - someone to spice up my life. Willing to try lots of new things. Then we decided either my voice mail box or email box would blow up! I might just have to email a couple of these guys to see where they are locate
SweetErika said:If you post an ad saying you just want sex, you'll get hundreds (or even thousands depending on the site) possible suitors. They might not be quality, but you'll have your pick and it might be the self-esteem boost you need to get out into the dating world.
Sweet Erika - you've got that right. A friend of mine thought I should put an add out looking for teacher - someone to spice up my life. Willing to try lots of new things. Then we decided either my voice mail box or email box would blow up! I might just have to email a couple of these guys to see where they are locate
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