Twenty Somethings

[My Own Way]

am wondering what weve learned from Lit and community? whats been awakened in you? whats been the result of it ie have your partners reacted positively or run for the hills?

Personally, I lurked in the shadows for a good number of years and finally after several disappointing relationships where I couldnt be satisfied, I turned it off for a few months and looked inside to discover myself. Found a very sensual sexaul individual that I love. various threads helped bring it out, so did some of the questions being thrown around.

as for the partners aspect, my current girl was extremely annoyed by decision to look inward for a bit, and since then our libidos are off but Im begining to wonder if theres more to it, I think shes started or has been looking inward as well and am wondering whats in there, she doesnt like talking about sex that much so its hard to tell but im wondering whether theres another sensual soul there as well.

anyway how bout you?

This is an interesting question blue....very introspective. Like yourself, I lurked on lit for a couple of years before I actually began participating in any of the discussions, but I've told no one about this site. I think that although sex has become a more acceptable topic within our society, I think that every friend I have would think I was insane, or perhaps gross if I told them I enjoyed coming to a board where the sole discussion is about sex...the nastier the better. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I come here...I've made some great friends and learned a lot...but it's not something I'm ever going to publically announce.

I think that the one thing that lit has made me do is to explore my wants and needs more than I ever had before. Suddenly I'm thinking...well maybe I'd like that, or Oh what a great idea. I haven't had the opportunity yet to really try out that newer side of myself...I'm not certain the current sex toy would understand if I suddenly asked to be tied up and blind folded...he's rather vanilla when it comes to sex....but up until recently, I've thought that sex was just sex...sure there were different ways to do it...but ultimatly it's all the same. I've come to realize that's not the case and whomever I ultimatly end up with has to have the same sexual desires and urges that I have...

 

[SweetErika]

am wondering what weve learned from Lit and community? whats been awakened in you? whats been the result of it ie have your partners reacted positively or run for the hills?

Personally, I lurked in the shadows for a good number of years and finally after several disappointing relationships where I couldnt be satisfied, I turned it off for a few months and looked inside to discover myself. Found a very sensual sexaul individual that I love. various threads helped bring it out, so did some of the questions being thrown around.

as for the partners aspect, my current girl was extremely annoyed by decision to look inward for a bit, and since then our libidos are off but Im begining to wonder if theres more to it, I think shes started or has been looking inward as well and am wondering whats in there, she doesnt like talking about sex that much so its hard to tell but im wondering whether theres another sensual soul there as well.

anyway how bout you?

I've been reading stories here for years, but last Spring I discovered the forums when I couldn't sleep one night. Once I started reading and discussing, my passion for sex was reawakened. I was convinced it had disappeared forever, but having it in my conscious mind so frequently completely changed the way I had come to feel over the past few years.

Relationship-wise, Lit gave me an opening to start a dialogue with my husband. We quickly dug ourselves out of the rut we had fallen into and the fact that I was more open allowed him to explore more as well. The non-sexual discussion has made me think about myself and how I fit in this relationship a lot, and I think it has improved everything.

 

[blue112]

Ive actually directed a few friends here as well as my current girl.
I see your point about another not understanding about some of the desires that arise from reading and conversing on this site as well.....thats actually part of the problem with us at the moment, I went from fairly normal sex to none and then my inner desires started to slide out and she doesnt quite know what to make of it I think unfortuantly.

Im not sure if the other person has to have the same desires as another. This past summer I think I learned abit about what love was and the compromise aspect of it. The way I see it, if they love you, they should be able to compromise and give you what you desire every now and then (if not more often! lol). I mean its the little things where they go out of their way for you right.....?

 

[My Own Way]

Im not sure if the other person has to have the same desires as another. This past summer I think I learned abit about what love was and the compromise aspect of it. The way I see it, if they love you, they should be able to compromise and give you what you desire every now and then (if not more often! lol). I mean its the little things where they go out of their way for you right.....?

I completely agree with you blue. I would just hope that my partner would have the same or at least a similar sex drive as myself. I've read and talked to so many people here who's relationships have fallen apart because of lack of similar sexual desires. But I think at the same time you're totally right. It is about the little sacrifices and at the same time, it also shows the importance of communication and understanding...

 

[blue112]

"I've read and talked to so many people here who's relationships have fallen apart because of lack of similar sexual desires."


think I might be one of them if she doesnt start to figure things out or act ya know

 

[My Own Way]

"I've read and talked to so many people here who's relationships have fallen apart because of lack of similar sexual desires."


think I might be one of them if she doesnt start to figure things out or act ya know

Does she know you're unhappy? Are you unhappy??

 

[blue112]

its strange and kinda hard to get into it, love isnt the issue. um she gives what shes willing to give, but im not sure if its enough. sexually theres been alot of stresses because were out of sync but i think were towards the end of that cycle.

Im happy being with her but the time never seems to be enough frankly. shes got a lot on her plate but even still....
I might be expecting or asking too much though, I mean I graduate and leave town this spring while shes staying for another two years so itd be nice if we could spend some more time together before i head off to wherever in Canada im leaving to.

I dunno, Im happy when Im with her, but it seems like weve reversed our roles whereas she was giving alot when I was looking inward and i wasnt giving alot then and now im giving alot and shes not which can be trying

 

[Travelintheways]

Nothing to say about my sex life in my twenties because I've only been here a few months, and it's been pretty dry those few months. But it's okay; I'm in no hurry to become involved in anything serious again. It'll come in its own sweet time, or I might start looking eventually. I wouldn't mind some rather more casual sex, but I need someone I'm very comfortable with and whom I trust for that, and I haven't found any of those in this city yet.

As for Lit... I joined in October and started posting 'round December. To be honest, it hasn't had much effect on my life yet (except keeping me up nights!). I am thinking more seriously about my sexuality than almost any other time in my life, which I suppose IS a pretty big effect. But I haven't shared Lit with anyone mostly because I can't imagine most of my friends being interested, and there's no SO to whom I can point out certain stories and wink. Oh, and it might be inspiring me to write more erotica; I tried one erotic story a few months ago, and it was... a challenge.

Argh! 4:15 am! When did this happen??

 

[My Own Way]

I'm not even going to try to give you advice...I know nothing of your situation but I will say this...if it's that one, true, extraordinary love then it's worth any problem placed in it's path. It's worth the fight. I may sound like some silly hopeless romantic...and frankly I am....but I truly believe in the concept of one true love. At the same time, I also believe that nothing about keeping and maintaining that love is easy.

 

[blue112]

weve got similar mindsets you and I My own way, Ive put more effort and work into this relationship than all of my previous ones. think thats why I dont mind that things are the way they are as much as i would otherwise. when things get tough thats one of the consolations, i fought the good fight for something I think is real.

absolutely nothing worong about silly hopeless romantics, wish she was more of one, written so many letters and poems, trying to match them to her flavour but, cant recall the last unprovoked letter from her.....

 

[My Own Way]

I truly believe, despite all that hype of equal time and such, there are just some relationships where one person puts more effort into it. It doesn't mean that the other person loves any less or doesn't feel as deeply, I just think that some of us are those hopeless romantics who will always say that extra "i love you" or write that little note....

 

[blue112]

good point,


but its always good to get something like that back though lol!

 

[My Own Way]

Oh I totally totally agree! It has to be frustrating for you to put so much time and effort into writing poems and notes and to get very little to nothing in return....I just think that not all people think about those things...they enjoy receiving them but never really think to give back...

 

[blue112]

To be honest, it hasn't had much effect on my life yet (except keeping me up nights!). I am thinking more seriously about my sexuality than almost any other time in my life, which I suppose IS a pretty big effect.

Lit definitly puts sex on the mind more doesnt it.


My Own Way, if it continues much longer though, like another few weeks, Im going sit down with her because its ridiculous, I dont think shes trying to get back at me for when i was doing the same thing shes doing now but its pretty much the complete opposite, only less sex, which during exams and stressful times, is a necessity!

 

[My Own Way]

I think you should talk to her....maybe there's something bigger going on that you don't know about...

 

[blue112]

lol see now youve got me thinking... extremely unlikely but she did mention she had a dream about being pregnant and Ive been having a strange feeling about that in particular lately...lol

seriously doubt it, but she may have been testing the waters lol

 

[My Own Way]

lol see now youve got me thinking... extremely unlikely but she did mention she had a dream about being pregnant and Ive been having a strange feeling about that in particular lately...lol

seriously doubt it, but she may have been testing the waters lol

Oh Goodness

 

[blue112]

see thats the wierd thing, it scares her a heck of alot more than it does me. itd be an adjustment and its ahead of my plan but i would welcome it overall I guess.
couldnt imagine actually being in that situation though especially at this age.

 

[My Own Way]

see thats the wierd thing, it scares her a heck of alot more than it does me. itd be an adjustment and its ahead of my plan but i would welcome it overall I guess.
couldnt imagine actually being in that situation though especially at this age.

Well it's good that it doesn't freak you out just in case....It would freak me out

 

[BXGemini20]

Hmm. A twentysomething thread. I'm just 20, but I feel I'm in a rut. I'm in my third year of college, but I know I still have 2 years most in college. I have been hoping to meet a girl. I just wish I can find a job so I can save up and move out of my mom's house. I don't know, but it makes me sad I am home and most of my friends go to other colleges so we rarely hang out now. Just going though some tough times. Hopefully my 20s will be better because my first year has been depressing at times.

 

[SweetErika]

Hmm. A twentysomething thread. I'm just 20, but I feel I'm in a rut. I'm in my third year of college, but I know I still have 2 years most in college. I have been hoping to meet a girl. I just wish I can find a job so I can save up and move out of my mom's house. I don't know, but it makes me sad I am home and most of my friends go to other colleges so we rarely hang out now. Just going though some tough times. Hopefully my 20s will be better because my first year has been depressing at times.

BX, I definitely understand how you're feeling, but one of the best things about this time is that we have so many opportunities to learn, change, and grow through new people and experiences, perhaps with a bit of a safety net (like living at home and getting some help once in awhile). If you're open and willing to put yourself out there a little, you'll likely meet many women and new friends. I'm always comforted by the fact that bad events and years always show me my strength, teach me a lot, and lead to much better things in the future.

 

[My Own Way]

Hmm. A twentysomething thread. I'm just 20, but I feel I'm in a rut. I'm in my third year of college, but I know I still have 2 years most in college. I have been hoping to meet a girl. I just wish I can find a job so I can save up and move out of my mom's house. I don't know, but it makes me sad I am home and most of my friends go to other colleges so we rarely hang out now. Just going though some tough times. Hopefully my 20s will be better because my first year has been depressing at times.

Welcome to the thread BX....so nice to have you here!! It might not be overly comforting to you when I say that what you're going through right now, most if not all of us have experienced as well. All of us have gone through that period where we feel lost, like we're stuck someplace we don't belong. Like Erika said though, it's that time in which you can grow and learn the most, expand your horizons, meet new people and do new things.

 

[BXGemini20]

Thanks for the nice replys Nice and Erika. I guess I'll just wait for school start up.

 

[My Own Way]

Thanks for the nice replys Nice and Erika. I guess I'll just wait for school start up.

Sounds like a good plan...see what happens, make adjustments and such...hope it works out for you.....come back and chat anytime!!

 

[Mermaid]

Good Evening... Just popping in to say hello!