We all crave it.

[AuralFix]

My two cents...

----double post because I was timed-out...apologies all

 

[boutrosboutros]

----double post because I was times out...apologies all

You can be on my list if you like. I've always had these fantasies about a girl with headphones attached to her breasts. Breasts and music - what's not to like?

 

[AuralFix]

You can be on my list if you like. I've always had these fantasies about a girl with headphones attached to her breasts. Breasts and music - what's not to like?

HEY! I"m more than just a pair of 42D headphones mister...
Don't ask me if I want to be on your list...put me there 'cause you want me there...sheesh, do I need to explain everything?

 

[boutrosboutros]

HEY! I"m more than just a pair of 42D headphones mister...
Don't ask me if I want to be on your list...put me there 'cause you want me there...sheesh, do I need to explain everything?

I know you're more than just a pair of 42D headphones, but it's a good place to start.

Okay, you are on the list. It's now official.

 

[AuralFix]

I know you're more than just a pair of 42D headphones, but it's a good place to start.

Okay, you are on the list. It's now official.

Thank you...I'm feeling validated already...

 

[boutrosboutros]

Thank you...I'm feeling validated already...

I'm all about validation. I even validate parking sometimes.

 

[AuralFix]

I'm all about validation. I even validate parking sometimes.

Wow, a two-fer...I better log off before my luck runs out...

 

[NeonSubtlety]

At work, I work to be considered on par with other attorneys. I'm a first year and work with a bunch of people substantially older than myself. So feel intimidated and, therefore, seek acceptance as a peer.

 

[LickYourNips]

Since I'm feeling in a good mood today, I am going to ignore the overall bitterness of this post, and also NOT zero in on just how incredibly asinine it sounds when you use MOTHERHOOD as an example of a woman just not pulling her weight. Because of course if I WAS, I would take exception to your suggestion that women will generally 'waste time' bonding on work time, whereas men would NEVER let discussions of...ohhh, say sports, 'chicks', and cars get in the way of being their productive, multitasking selves!

-smile-


The rest of it has no relevance to my situation - I'm not in an office, and the MEN I work with, though very, very harsh given the breed, have never, EVER used my being a woman against me. And do I feel the fact that I choose to bare children while slugging it out in the barns at midnight during calving season, or haul my new born baby around in a pack while baling hay in the summer, deserves a "good job" now and then? Yeah, I do. And does it bug me that I want it? Yeah, it does. And THAT brings us back to the thread.

Validation.

Clearly we know where you stand. Thanks.

I think you misread my post. There is no bitterness whatsoever... and I support those that work. You can resent my motherhood comment all you want, BUT... you know and I know that in a workplace setting as beautiful as that all is.... the work still needs to get done which falls on everyone else... Not bitterness... Facts. And as I said before in my post... Those that rock know they rock and rock it. Those that don't suck ass and are the reasons why your sense of equal pay and validation will never happen on a regular basis. Are there guys that suck too? Absolutely. But you brought up the work situation and that is how it is - - right or wrong. Not sure why you attacked me on it...

And as far as this being completely relevant to your situation it wasn't supposed to be. I was speaking generally.

- Jake

 

[LickYourNips]

Just saw this.... AAAAAAAAAW! You're so fabulous!

You are very welcome.

 

[bellaitalliana]

Validation is a human essential. Regardless if you struggle with the inner turmoil of knowing that deep down you need and crave it but at the same time wish that you didn't wantit, people still feel the craving.

Anyone that says that they don't want validation is completely delusional and I call bullshit on that.

From something as simple as hanging about in an online forum and being the proverbial "attention whore" as you do your best to bait the opposite sex into conversation or something greater to as in depth as wanting validation and appreciation for a job well done or for a situation handled.

I too struggle with my wanting/loathing of various types of validation Riles, so I completely understand where you come from.

 

[DrunknBarbarian]

............

 

[Riles]

I think you misread my post. There is no bitterness whatsoever... and I support those that work. You can resent my motherhood comment all you want, BUT... you know and I know that in a workplace setting as beautiful as that all is.... the work still needs to get done which falls on everyone else... Not bitterness... Facts. And as I said before in my post... Those that rock know they rock and rock it. Those that don't suck ass and are the reasons why your sense of equal pay and validation will never happen on a regular basis. Are there guys that suck too? Absolutely. But you brought up the work situation and that is how it is - - right or wrong. Not sure why you attacked me on it...

And as far as this being completely relevant to your situation it wasn't supposed to be. I was speaking generally.

- Jake

That was hardly an attack - I was NICE!

And let's just shake hands on it and move on. Agree to disagree as they say.

This thread was not actually aimed at 'work'...at least not specifically. It just so happens that MY workplace and my romantic life are interlocked - my husband and I work together. And THAT is where MY thoughts came from. Others, like you, are viewing it as strictly work based. That's fine. It was about making it your own personal experience.

Cheers.

 

[Riles]

Validation is a human essential. Regardless if you struggle with the inner turmoil of knowing that deep down you need and crave it but at the same time wish that you didn't wantit, people still feel the craving.

Anyone that says that they don't want validation is completely delusional and I call bullshit on that.

From something as simple as hanging about in an online forum and being the proverbial "attention whore" as you do your best to bait the opposite sex into conversation or something greater to as in depth as wanting validation and appreciation for a job well done or for a situation handled.

I too struggle with my wanting/loathing of various types of validation Riles, so I completely understand where you come from.

Very well said.

...and thank you.

 

[boutrosboutros]

Because even though I'm pretty well 'in tune' with myself, and generally embrace the differences between the sexes, there is still a part of me that has that 'girl power' drive and need for independance. Seeking validation is in conflict with that and it bugs the hell out of me. I tell myself not to do it. That I don't need it.

...but I do.

It's just my thing. And it bothers me from time to time.

And you are quite right. See...I'm a mess. -wink-

I'm kind of echoing what others have said, but I don't think it has anything to do with what sex you're a member of. Men crave validation from women just as much if not more than women crave it from men (speaking purely about straight people; I'm sure for gay people there is a corresponding dynamic).

Pretty much everything straight men do is geared towards getting female attention, in my experience, whether directly or indirectly.

 

[Riles]

Sometimes I think its the simplest things that matter most. They are too often easily discounted as everyday and therefore, not valid. When in fact, these are the things that once gone, we miss most, yet gave no validity to when it was a common occurence.

Which doesn't go to say that one needs to validate these things everyday, hell, we'd all be too busy validating, it would be nuts. But then that's where common courtesy comes in. Expressed heartfully, courtesy goes a long way towards validating. On occasion its nice to say or do something special for someone close that lets them know that the small things, do mean a lot.

Where has common courtesy gone in the last few decades? The internet being a prime example of disappearing courtesy. I hope there is a resurgence in it. We could all use a healthy dose of it.

I really 'felt' this post. And I agree whole heartedly, though you shame me a little by mentioning the courtesy lacking on the internet. I'm guilty of this at times, and I think it stems from looking at my time here with selfishness. Yes, I want to share...but I want to do so on MY terms. -wince-

 

[syncope2]

I believe validation should come from within.

You are the one who knows best whether you are deserving or not. You are the one who looks in the mirror and sees a beautiful, caring, compassionate, loving person or not.

Although it is nice to crave it and to hear it every now and then, we should learn to love and validate ourselves before others do. As Dr. Seuss put it, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” People who care about you, love you, and matter know you are a special. People who don't, matter not.

 

[Riles]

I'm kind of echoing what others have said, but I don't think it has anything to do with what sex you're a member of. Men crave validation from women just as much if not more than women crave it from men (speaking purely about straight people; I'm sure for gay people there is a corresponding dynamic).

Pretty much everything straight men do is geared towards getting female attention, in my experience, whether directly or indirectly.

Of course men do...but I can't speak for them, can I?

-smile-

The issue of craving it from a 'man', was situation specific for ME. But since we're on the topic of sexes, I have actually found that this really never has been an issue for me with another woman. Be they friend, co-worker, family, etc., I find women tend to give praise, sympathise and share with a little more ease, and those are the three interchangeable things that I need to feel 'validation'.

 

[boutrosboutros]

Of course men do...but I can't speak for them, can I?

-smile-

The issue of craving it from a 'man', was situation specific for ME. But since we're on the topic of sexes, I have actually found that this really never has been an issue for me with another woman. Be they friend, co-worker, family, etc., I find women tend to give praise, sympathise and share with a little more ease, and those are the three interchangeable things that I need to feel 'validation'.

You never feel as if you're being judged by other women? Not that I'm disputing that, it just seems from my (limited) knowledge that women can be incredibly judgemental towards each other, though in a different way to men.

 

[Riles]

You never feel as if you're being judged by other women? Not that I'm disputing that, it just seems from my (limited) knowledge that women can be incredibly judgemental towards each other, though in a different way to men.

Not from women I'm close with, no.

 

[PeteHulbert37]

I am one to have always been very comfortable in my own skin. I think it may have been because early on in life I was not looked upon as popular so I chose not to worry about it. I just focused on being the me that I wanted to be. That perspective has served me well.

Support is a different thing. I think we all yearn for that from family and friends from time to time. However, I have never felt I needed "validation".