What do you fear?

[h_i_s]

.....

 

[BiBunny]

Wow? For real? WHO yells at you? I'm surprised.

I thought I was the only one who got negative feedback as a result of some of my replies. I don't feel so bad nor alone in that, now.. heh.

Everybody. I'm a bitch. Remember?

 

[intothewoods]

Everybody. I'm a bitch. Remember?

I did get that memo. It was widely circulated in the Literotica BDSM Offices. It was, indeed. Mmmhmm. Yup.

 

[h_i_s]

.....

 

[YourCaptor]

Wow, so much anger… but there always is with this subject.

I will not try to argue with you guys, if after this any off you have been so deeply offended that you must take it up I will talk with you, but trying to right so much misunderstand is impossible.

What my motives where

To offer my knowledge on the subject.

Your heart will last longer is you spirit is high

I have watched too many people die to approach this in anything other then a very direct manor. Thos I have known who take comfort in knowing others have it worse, they generally do not have the focus it takes, and it is not a pretty thing to see a mind retreat and ultimately give in. Some of these people where very dear to me, others where conversation in the wards, but none should have died so soon.

The advise I gave is what I have learned first hand, and what I have seen in my friends who have also survive.

I respect everyone here, and was not trying to force any one opinion. I was telling what I know, and one thing I know well is overcoming physical adversity.

I do respect you minx1, more then most, however that doesn’t change how cute your comment was, I just couldn’t help myself. I’m a sucker for lines such as

...I take comfort and inspiration from their strength...so it does matter

....Someone once gave me a pen with that engraved on it *smile*. In my opinion you should fight for yourself, for others you care about and for the ones you don't even know that may be touched or find inspiration in your resolve.

Unfortunately when it comes to written language I have the grace of an atomic bomb in a china shop.

 

[h_i_s]

.....

 

[00Syd]

Ahh comforting to know that with each post you are capable of becoming an even bigger horse's ass than I had previously determined you to be.


Just another twat in the box. Solved.

I know Sin can't read this since she's already called me a twat and blocked me, but I don't think its very nice to just dismiss someone's (hopefully honest) attempt at an apology. While we don't have to always agree and get along, it would be nice if we could at least be civil and give it our best shot.

 

[CurlyKat]

I'm terrified of never meeting THE right guy for me and going through life alone.

I'm also very scared/worried about not being able to have kids when the time comes (there are reasons behind this fear).

Since I first started learning how to drive, I've been scared of killing someone in a car accident. Not so much me, that wouldn't bother me, but the thought of killing someone else like that is frightening. I make sure I'm a good driver to do my best to avoid this one.

There are other fears, such as spiders and heights, but they are physical fears, which I can force myself to overcome. These others are more soul fears.

 

[Netzach]

Hmm, it sounds like you have been there.

Well the fight metaphor is for those who have already lost their innocents and can see that things could end in a horrible disaster. The point is to have the ill person believe they will still have a wonderful life, and when they do that it will happen too. The state of the mind is one of the most determining factors in any illness or injury treatment, and “INSIDEYOURMIND” stand a very good chance if he can keep his mind forward.

Those that are still innocent don’t need this, go to a children’s hospital and you will see. All the young kids their wont give a damn about what is wrong with them, they just keep doing anyway. If you ask them how they find the will, they wont know what you’re talking about, they never even considered giving up on what they want. If you ask them if they are happy, they will say yes. While it may not be the perfect existence, none ever is.

It doesn’t mater if you have no options, so your life isn’t like a fairly tale, it doesn’t matter, all it means is your story will be more interesting.



: pats your head : That was a really cute response, words from a sub. Yes you are very correct, it’s just from my angle things look a little bit different. You must understand, in the kind of struggle we are talking about, expectations turn into pain from hell itself. The point is to find a way to enjoy life without expectations. I don’t know if you understand that, it’s a difficult concept to grasp, generally only those who have felt that pain understand.

*pats your head*

horse shit.

I would introduce you to the parents of a child I know who had cancer, an 8 year old in pain no human should have undergone, asking them what death would be like.

He got into remission.

Bravery?

No, luck.

That's so much harder for anyone to accept.

I would redact this for arguing with idiots, but I think this brings up a good point. What happens when people lose to their illness? I don't want people to make me into this fearless fighter if that happens, more likely an unfortunate fuck whose blood clotted again in her guts. If anyone wants to find meaning in any of it, go fix the health care access problem in the US. Find out what causes IBD and why pharma has yet to make a generic of asacol or pentasa, which over 2 million people are on and they cost 200 a month.

Transpose this onto any other major chronic or life/threatening illness out there. Cancer, MS, lupus...

To be brave you'd better have some cash.

 

[YourCaptor]

I would introduce you to the parents of a child I know who had cancer, an 8 year old in pain no human should have undergone, asking them what death would be like.

He got into remission.

Bravery?

No, luck.

That's so much harder for anyone to accept.

You miss the point of what I say.

What do you know about the child itself, the parents are irrelevant.

Bravery?

Yes, although not in the traditional sense. This is not the fight one goes through in battle, this is the fight one goes through when everyone tells you, you are dead. To stand up to that, and enjoy life anyway is definitely brave.

Life is not equal, the sooner one realizes that the sooner they will find their own reasons to live, not what everyone has told them their reasons should be. If you are dealt different rules, then make your own way to win. Whether you live to be 10 or 100, if you enjoyed it, it was worth it.

Why would you ever accept defeat when its no over yet?

 

[YourCaptor]

Sinn0cent1, much of what you assumed I assumed is falls. The point I was making in the first post was that belittling you problem by comparing it to others is not a good idea. I felt I had to make that statement because it appears this entire thread was dedicated to that idea.

Then just in case INSIDEYOURMIND really was one of those people who attempts to compare his pain to others I added the second paragraph. It was more of a safety net because as you said it, I don’t know INSIDEYOURMIND. I’m relived to know he is not at all like that.

I know the stress you two must be experiencing.

I also want to send my respect to INSIDEYOURMIND, I recall the wheelchair phase very well. I was so weak I couldn’t walk anymore, and upon realizing I was too weak to even wheel myself over a door frame it really got to me, losing you mobility is not easy. Again, my respect.

 

[Bi_Kitty]

1. Lighting that strikes the ground.
2. Anything new.
3. Being first or last at anything.
4. Going through life alone.

 

[fishercat]

Never knowing real love

Being incapacitated and landing in state care because my family is all gone.

 

[LittleJade]

I know the fear of suffocation, Jade. Many imagine how horrible, very few of us actually experience it (especially outside of breathplay. Not even close to the same thing) Add a murder attempt... I can't imagine what that adds..

Your quote made me think- I have been asthmatic my whole life long. I have gone into anaphilactic shock, I have had my breath taken before...

it started very young for me.

Maybe that's why I fear it so much.


Hm.

 

[EmpressFi]

Spiders.

Being dead - the idea that one day, I will cease to exists and the world will go on without me.

That my insecurities in myself will drive the men I love from me

Developing Alzheimer's.

Being fat and ugly forever

 

[minx1]

1. Lighting that strikes the ground.

oh I forgot that one! More so in Oz that the UK. Yikes..they have storms the next few days. That means more time spent in the bathroom. Um not from nerves.....its the only place I reckon I'm safe if lightening hits *sniggers*

 

[minx1]

I don't think its very nice to just dismiss someone's (hopefully honest) attempt at an apology. While we don't have to always agree and get along, it would be nice if we could at least be civil and give it our best shot.

Ok yourcaptor I'm going to go along with this for now. I'm not sure if you are an alt or not but on the basis your manner may be mainly down to misjudging the use of language I am willing to give you the benfit of the doubt for now.
Language of course doesn't excuse inappropriate or condescending behaviour. Its good to have a mix of opinions here. I don't always agree with what people say but sometimes they offer me an alternative perspective and I like that. I suggest that how you address people will determine greatly how you are recieved. If you continue in the manner in which you have so far conducted yourself people will stop interacting as much and that would be a shame. Perhaps read your posts through a couple of times before you actually post them. I am not suggesting you modify the nature of your arguments, merely the manner, tone and way you address people.
The only thing sub and mug have in common is the letter u.

Sir Winston wise words as always. Thankyou

 

[Homburg]

I am afraid of not being able to properly support my family.

I do not fear death per se (though the actual dying is generally unfun), I fear what may happen to those I love when I do perish.

I fear that my kids will inherit whatever it is inside me that makes me how I am, and not also inherit the control I have. It is the one thing that seperates me from the monster that I inherited it from.

I fear the wrack and ruin that I occassionally bring into the lives of those I care about. I change people, and not always for the better.

Mostly, I fear for other people.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

1. Heights, bridges, planes, tunnels and crowds I don't control.

2. Being a disappointment because no matter how perfect I tried/try to be, they were/are never satisfied.

3. My head and heart never catching up with one another and being miserable forever.

4. That I will get tired of working so hard not to be like her...and wind up being just like her.

 

[Netzach]

You miss the point of what I say.

What do you know about the child itself, the parents are irrelevant.

I know that your happy simplistic "gee they just smile through it all and it doesn't bother them" fiction is false. Patent false fictionalizing trivializing denial of their experience which is how most adults treat children anyway. Children's problems aren't real problems, their pain not real pain, their differing understanding not valid understanding. Children with cancer are soooo much better off than adults with cancer.

Yeah, sure. Whatever you need to think.

 

[Netzach]

Being dead - the idea that one day, I will cease to exists and the world will go on without me.

This oblivion business depresses me too. I'd like to think there's some continuance that there's some me energy that somehow goes on, but I have strong leanings toward "no" and this depresses me. No hell, no heaven, no woo woo brushing of the tears of my loved ones.

I've never felt the presence of any of my relatives who are gone. I wish I could say I have, but I find myself very closed off, there's a very hard finality to it all that I wish I could deny.

The only thing I can do against it is make lots of shit that hopefully someone will remember I made.

 

[YourCaptor]

I know that your happy simplistic "gee they just smile through it all and it doesn't bother them" fiction is false. Patent false fictionalizing trivializing denial of their experience which is how most adults treat children anyway. Children's problems aren't real problems, their pain not real pain, their differing understanding not valid understanding. Children with cancer are soooo much better off than adults with cancer.

Yeah, sure. Whatever you need to think.

Kids don’t suffer denial, if anything kids are free from the denial many adults have, telling them their entire existents is doomed to be depressive because they face adversity.

 

[myinnerslut]

Kids don’t suffer denial, if anything kids are free from the denial many adults have, telling them their entire existents is doomed to be depressive because they face adversity.

i beg to differ. i dont want to get into the details on the board since they get very personal so PM me if you wanted more details.

suffice to say i experienced a hell of a lot of denial when i was 11 and told i will be dependent on medication my entire life for something that has no cure and will drastically change my life.

 

[Netzach]

i beg to differ. i dont want to get into the details on the board since they get very personal so PM me if you wanted more details.

suffice to say i experienced a hell of a lot of denial when i was 11 and told i will be dependent on medication my entire life for something that has no cure and will drastically change my life.

Oh you mean you didn't just smile and go on your merry way?

I'm shocked, children are such sunny little blossoms, they really have no idea when they have death hanging over their head and don't care.

I think this "positivity at any cost" expectation we've leveled at the sick is the WORST kind of cruelty. It's good to be positive, but it's not something one should rationally *expect* of anyone in crisis. It creates this horrible internal yardstick where people worry about complaint rather than worrying about the cost of NOT unburdening themselves in an honest manner of anger and fear, and accepting the negative that is endemic to being sick and to which you are *entitled.*

God, if only it were that simple and everything you got was either good or bad, either a lemon or lemonade.

 

[myinnerslut]

Oh you mean you didn't just smile and go on your merry way?

* Netzach *

indeed i did not. i went through an entire range of emotion including fear, horrible anger, and denial that almost landed me in the hospital.