What is feminism?

[graceanne]

I always feel a strong pang of sympathy and love for women who want to get married and have kids and just haven't met the right person yet. Feeling such a strong longing for that completion of your dreams has a pull like a black hole.

Yeah. True no matter what. There are so many people who, for some reason or the other, can't do what they want/need to do to be trully happy and content. I wish I had a magic wand and could fix stuff like that. lol

 

[Stella_Omega]

I always feel a strong pang of sympathy and love for women who want to get married and have kids and just haven't met the right person yet. Feeling such a strong longing for that completion of your dreams has a pull like a black hole.

This is true for any unresolvable dream.

The dream of autonomy.

the dream of a sex change.

The dream of a motorcycle, even, who am I to judge the depth of someone else's desires?

 

[Keroin]

This is true for any unresolvable dream.

The dream of autonomy.

the dream of a sex change.

The dream of a motorcycle, even, who am I to judge the depth of someone else's desires?

I'd really like a motorcycle. Well, an on/off road bike. I have the very bike in mind.

My desires are shallow. There's a "No Diving" sign posted above them.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'd really like a motorcycle. Well, an on/off road bike. I have the very bike in mind.

My desires are shallow. There's a "No Diving" sign posted above them.

I simply chased all of the toddlers out of the kiddie pool and took it over.

I like toys.

 

[PertPerth]

So, interesting - I had lunch with a friend of mine (married his highschool sweet-heart, has 3 kids) and told him about my situation. I was totally surprised (to the point of I stopped talking) when he started going on about 'other options' (like adoption - which we both were...so adoption is NOT an option for me) or how life without kids is okay etc; IVF would become an 'obsession'. And, apparently, there are some people who just lead a solitary life.

All I could think was "WTF? I've wanted to get married and have babies since I was a baby myself! And just because no guy has ever fallen in love with me, doesn't mean I'm not loveable."

So, anyway, I have just ordered myself a book :
http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/book/9780195341409/Single-by-Chance-Mothers-by-Choice
I'm not American, but it looked like something which might boost my mood.

Fuckmeat - I agree...if it comes down to it, and I don't have any more time to wait, and I haven't got a partner....I'd like to ask my gay cousin (we are both adoptees, no blood relation there!) if he'd like to be a donor.
Still, part of me thinks I'm being selfish and "just because I can, doesn't mean I should". I'm not sure that feeling will go away any time soon.
Anyway...fat lady hasn't sung. More blood tests to be done!

 

[Homburg]

I'd really like a motorcycle. Well, an on/off road bike. I have the very bike in mind.

My desires are shallow. There's a "No Diving" sign posted above them.

*sings like a small mouse with big dreams*

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
My KLR is waiting
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how little cash I have to spend
It helps to think that Kawasaki's production won't eeeeeeeend...


You totally want to sing with me now.

 

[Keroin]

*sings like a small mouse with big dreams*

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
My KLR is waiting
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how little cash I have to spend
It helps to think that Kawasaki's production won't eeeeeeeend...


You totally want to sing with me now.

*SNORT*

I totally did.


ETA: Guilty confession

My friend bought his wife a dirtbike and all the gear, in the hopes that she would go riding with him. I knew this plan would be a disaster, (she is just not a dirt bike kinda gal), and sure enough they have only ridden three times and two of those have ended with her in tears. Last night she confessed to me that she hates it.

I am patiently waiting for them to announce that they are selling the bike and gear. I'm sure they would give me a deal and I know the boots fit me. *Insert devil face here*

 

[KoPilot]

*SNORT*

I totally did.


ETA: Guilty confession

My friend bought his wife a dirtbike and all the gear, in the hopes that she would go riding with him. I knew this plan would be a disaster, (she is just not a dirt bike kinda gal), and sure enough they have only ridden three times and two of those have ended with her in tears. Last night she confessed to me that she hates it.

I am patiently waiting for them to announce that they are selling the bike and gear. I'm sure they would give me a deal and I know the boots fit me. *Insert devil face here*

Same thing happened to some friends of mine and their sea-doos. And then I remembered that I couldn't afford to buy a pair of them and their trailer. Sadface.

 

[Stella_Omega]

So, interesting - I had lunch with a friend of mine (married his highschool sweet-heart, has 3 kids) and told him about my situation. I was totally surprised (to the point of I stopped talking) when he started going on about 'other options' (like adoption - which we both were...so adoption is NOT an option for me) or how life without kids is okay etc; IVF would become an 'obsession'. And, apparently, there are some people who just lead a solitary life...

Off topic, but I've learned that it's totally okay to tell people to just shut up when they start doing that.

it isn't as if you didn't already know those things, sheesh!

*sings like a small mouse with big dreams*

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
My KLR is waiting
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how little cash I have to spend
It helps to think that Kawasaki's production won't eeeeeeeend...


You totally want to sing with me now.

You're kind of... metrosexual, aren't you?

 

[Netzach]

He sent a book on the subject to his sister several years ago, who is a VERY hardworking New Yorker who runs her own business and only recently got married at the age of about 35. She was absolutely horrified by the ideas presented in the book, and had actually sat me down to make sure that my father wasn't telling me these things. As I had no idea that it was actually along the lines of what he believed, we came to the conclusion that she'd just received the wrong book and forgot about it. Until, now that is.

I don't think it has as much to do with having kids as it sounds. He's never said anything about being a grandfather, ever. More just pressuring me to have them because that's just how things are supposed to be.

The whole debate was in response to this article, actually: http://www.good.is/post/girls-think-they-re-smarter-than-boys

I sent it to him for some chuckles and perhaps a "Hmm!" But he got back to me with an essay instead. :\

There's so much shit informing why people do what they do. How does his life stack up next to the sister's from a material success standpoint? Could it be that sister is sitting better younger and he's trying to beat back at this reality in the only way available?

If it's sibling shit, call Dad out on it. Why not. There's nothing wrong with saying you know what I'm not your sister.

 

[Homburg]

*SNORT*

I totally did.


ETA: Guilty confession

My friend bought his wife a dirtbike and all the gear, in the hopes that she would go riding with him. I knew this plan would be a disaster, (she is just not a dirt bike kinda gal), and sure enough they have only ridden three times and two of those have ended with her in tears. Last night she confessed to me that she hates it.

I am patiently waiting for them to announce that they are selling the bike and gear. I'm sure they would give me a deal and I know the boots fit me. *Insert devil face here*

I've done this. Hell, I've done this more than once. Hell, I've been accused of manipulating the situation solely so I could do this.

Lies. All lies.

--

You're kind of... metrosexual, aren't you?

Only in text.

My only haircare product is shaving lotion.

Wait, that was supposed to help refute the metrosexual thing, except for the "lotion" part. Dammit.

Well, I don't care. Shaving creams suck. Headslick shaving lotion is the best damned product ont he market. I don't care if its' a lotion. So there.

 

[bridgeburner]

Only in text.

My only haircare product is shaving lotion.

Wait, that was supposed to help refute the metrosexual thing, except for the "lotion" part. Dammit.

Well, I don't care. Shaving creams suck. Headslick shaving lotion is the best damned product ont he market. I don't care if its' a lotion. So there.

You counter the "lotion" part by shaving with a big knife.

 

[teknight]

You counter the "lotion" part by shaving with a big knife.

A big, dull, rusted knife. There, fixed.

And who needs shaving lotion?

 

[Homburg]

I shave in the shower. No mirror. That's hardcore enough for me, so no rusty blade, thanks.

 

[ivantheterrible]

in my ex marriage of 16 years, i completely blame my ex's boss for ruining our marriage. a female man hater, that men just can not stand to be in the same room with.

we were fine for 14 years until she got a vista job, and then over a span of 2 years she would come home with weird ideas and sayings she was obviously picking up from her boss. she changed from our common goals, how to obtain them, life out look, even if it took the rest of our lives. and one day, i looked at her and thought, who the fuck is this person? i tried for those last two years to understand, and get through, but it was making me very unhappy. i grabbed myself by the balls and walked away.

i have a thorn in my side when it comes to feminists. most of them seem to have a chip on their shoulder when it comes to men. and seem to love ruining relationships. something they obviously can't have themselves.

 

[Etoile]

in my ex marriage of 16 years, i completely blame my ex's boss for ruining our marriage. a female man hater, that men just can not stand to be in the same room with.

we were fine for 14 years until she got a vista job, and then over a span of 2 years she would come home with weird ideas and sayings she was obviously picking up from her boss. she changed from our common goals, how to obtain them, life out look, even if it took the rest of our lives. and one day, i looked at her and thought, who the fuck is this person? i tried for those last two years to understand, and get through, but it was making me very unhappy. i grabbed myself by the balls and walked away.

i have a thorn in my side when it comes to feminists. most of them seem to have a chip on their shoulder when it comes to men. and seem to love ruining relationships. something they obviously can't have themselves.

I am a feminist and have been in a relationship for over 12 years. Not sure where you came up with this?

 

[BiBunny]

I am a feminist and have been in a relationship for over 12 years. Not sure where you came up with this?

It's called "I don't wanna take responsibility for my own actions."

 

[Stella_Omega]

It's called "I don't wanna take responsibility for my own actions."

Or inactions, in his case. She grew, he didn't.

 

[BiBunny]

Or inactions, in his case. She grew, he didn't.

Yep, that's a better way of putting it.

 

[ivantheterrible]

doubt that. not when you had the same goals and shared them fully. until...............this person i refer to has a bad rep of being a man hater and ruins relationships anyway she can.

 

[Etoile]

doubt that. not when you had the same goals and shared them fully. until...............this person i refer to has a bad rep of being a man hater and ruins relationships anyway she can.

I'm sure you're right, there are people out there who are just nasty. But I still don't understand why you would say that all feminists can't maintain relationships, based on this one person?

 

[midwestyankee]

I'm sure you're right, there are people out there who are just nasty. But I still don't understand why you would say that all feminists can't maintain relationships, based on this one person?

It's a very sophisticated form of statistical sampling that has, to date, been almost completely ignored by academia.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm sure you're right, there are people out there who are just nasty. But I still don't understand why you would say that all feminists can't maintain relationships, based on this one person?

Because all them feminists is just the same.

 

[Keroin]

doubt that. not when you had the same goals and shared them fully. until...............this person i refer to has a bad rep of being a man hater and ruins relationships anyway she can.

Just as happy people don't cheat, solid, happy relationships cannot be "ruined" by a single individual. You can spew all the rhetoric at me you want but it ain't going to make me leave my husband.

BTW, with hubby and me, our mutual/individual goals have changed numerous times over the 12+ years we've been together. Sometimes they are in harmony, sometimes they conflict but because we have a firm base we have learned to adapt, make concessions, bend, reshape, etc, as necessary.

But we both understand that there could come a time when the things we want/need are so drastically different that being together would be impossible. I hope this doesn't happen but I'm pragmatic, humans are changeable, fluid creatures...your ex-wife being a good example of this.

 

[BiBunny]

Just as happy people don't cheat, solid, happy relationships cannot be "ruined" by a single individual. You can spew all the rhetoric at me you want but it ain't going to make me leave my husband.