Why do you choose to be a sub?

[MiaBabe23]

I agree with what others have said, it’s not a choice, at least the desire to isn’t. It allows you to be vulnerable in a way that I can’t think of an equivalent to, and to express a great deal of affection, passion, love for the person you submit to
But emotionally it is a very vulnerable position you place yourself in, so perhaps it also builds strength in a paradoxical kind of way

 

[MiaBabe23]

That’s very powerful

 

[masterslave00]

He loves being my sub, and he’s perfect! Cleaning toilets in the nude while wearing my apron.

Wearing a apron isn't being naked

 

[Boat1]

Wearing a apron isn't being naked

How dare you correct my Lovely Domme!?

 

[Wonderer67]

I agree with what others have said, it’s not a choice, at least the desire to isn’t. It allows you to be vulnerable in a way that I can’t think of an equivalent to, and to express a great deal of affection, passion, love for the person you submit to
But emotionally it is a very vulnerable position you place yourself in, so perhaps it also builds strength in a paradoxical kind of way

I agree. There is a real connectedness to many bdsm activities. As a (mostly) submissive, I have found that opening up and being submissive to my wife is very loving, intimate and makes me feel very vulnerable. It’s brought us closer together and communicate more and better.

But I would say I’m sometimes switchy. There are times when I take her and feel more of the dominant one - taking what’s mine, asserting my sexual will over her. (All consensual of course)

But I love having my orgasm controlled by her and bringing her to orgasm and making her feel good at the same time.

And sometimes I just want to be fully controlled by her. Have her make me do things (sexual and non sexual).

I guess I’m a pretty complicated person.

 

[AprilTwenties]

I agree. There is a real connectedness to many bdsm activities. As a (mostly) submissive, I have found that opening up and being submissive to my wife is very loving, intimate and makes me feel very vulnerable. It’s brought us closer together and communicate more and better.

But I would say I’m sometimes switchy. There are times when I take her and feel more of the dominant one - taking what’s mine, asserting my sexual will over her. (All consensual of course)

But I love having my orgasm controlled by her and bringing her to orgasm and making her feel good at the same time.

And sometimes I just want to be fully controlled by her. Have her make me do things (sexual and non sexual).

I guess I’m a pretty complicated person.

Life's complicated, boo. I'm happy for you.

A x

 

[Strixaluco]

There is a real connectedness to many bdsm activities. As a (mostly) submissive, I have found that opening up and being submissive to my wife is very loving, intimate and makes me feel very vulnerable.

This is one of the best things really. Sure, it's how when my Dom really gets in the dominating mood physically, but the emotional side is addicting even. Feeling safe to be so vulnerable... Such a relief

 

[Phatfeet]

While the book is old now, and the message rather sappy, my love language is certainly “Acts of Service”.

I know why too… I grew up in a very abusive home where the only possible way I could prevent a beating was if I overdid everything asked of me. Today it still carries over. At home. At work. In terms of sex… I do more than what is expected of me.

But the strange thing is, with the right person the more degrading the act they want me to do, the more I would want to do it. Not because I am into humiliation as a kink, but because so few people would do it for them. The fact that I would, even if it is a kinky act really allows me to show my devotion. I don't even have a list of what I would do and would not do. It depends on the moment, but if my friend really wanted me to do something kinky, I would probably do it for them. I would not want it boasted about later granted, that is not appreciation but just being used. In that, what most people might call degrading, I look at as devotion because so few people would do it. But that is what I crave because all that I did for my father, was never appreciated as a child.

 

[Dirtygirlndeer]

Wearing a apron isn't being naked

Technically, I suppose it isn’t. But, I love seeing him in my frilly apron while serving me. I adore seeing his erection pushing out the front of the apron as he works.

 

[BlackFox013X]

I agree with what others have said, it’s not a choice, at least the desire to isn’t. It allows you to be vulnerable in a way that I can’t think of an equivalent to, and to express a great deal of affection, passion, love for the person you submit to
But emotionally it is a very vulnerable position you place yourself in, so perhaps it also builds strength in a paradoxical kind of way

You are right.

But when Pupa - my mistress - sits on my face or tells me to adore her, I feel happy not only because I love her.

It's also about the fact that for some time now I have felt that this is where I belong. It's not just that my place is under her booty. It is also about the fact that a man must know where his place in life is.

I could just as easily have been a macho who abuses a woman, which makes him happy. But I prefer to humble myself and do what Mistress Pupa tells me to do. Especially since domination is something that gives me pleasure.

 

[old_hippy_46]

I have been talking to my college friend and fuck-buddy who came to visit to cheer me up. She has some dom tendencies, whereas I lean the other way.

For me, I think part of being submissive in a sexual context is because I am the opposite IRL. I’m probably the person who wants to be in charge and to have a plan. She is the opposite, IRL she wouldn’t say boo to a goose, but gets off on controlling people sexually.

It it like this with other people?

Em

The short answer is I got tired of doing all the work. I found I like having it done to me.

 

[baihoven]

I also feel the same way. As someone who often has to take the lead in real life, I find it really enjoyable being under control, having my orgasms taken away from me and only being given if I deserve it.

Another part that I enjoy is the feeling of uncertainty which is so thrilling to me. Not knowing what my domme will do while also being on the edge the whole session feels so good. I enjoy having my mind melt as I am being dominated, to the point that it pushes me to engage in kinks that I never knew I liked but would end up falling in love with.

 

[OlderBtm4U]

Is it something that one chooses?

 

[Erosfan]

I agree with what others have said, it’s not a choice, at least the desire to isn’t. It allows you to be vulnerable in a way that I can’t think of an equivalent to, and to express a great deal of affection, passion, love for the person you submit to
But emotionally it is a very vulnerable position you place yourself in, so perhaps it also builds strength in a paradoxical kind of way

I like this, a lot. Your sentiments are so similar to mine. I'm into exhibitionism and CFNM. My late wife was on board with this and did her very best to make sure we enjoyed this to the fullest. She Knew I was hers whenever she wanted. It was normally just between the two of us. She never did involve another person, although we discussed it many times.
She had me naked in the car, in our garage with the door open and on our patio where neighbors might have seen us, just to name a few. We were seen at times and she was good at keeping things in control.
Ours was a gentle femdom relationship. She called me her slut and I did my best to live up to that.
I chose to be her sub because it was my way to show that she meant the world to me. I wanted to be her fantasy.

 

[Hypnobitch01]

I’m a switch but tend to lean sub. I’m so obsessed with control in my everyday life that giving up control just drives me wild in the bedroom. Plus there’s something about putting my fate in a partners hands that I find so unbelievably sexy

 

[whenagain]

I think for me there’s something pretty innate there. . . That said some women bring it out in me more than others. With some I’m much more able to switch.

 

[silly__tilly]

I find needing to be assertive in my daily routine incredibly tiring. It's nice to just switch off and have someone else be in charge.

 

[EvaLane]

I’ve always been submissive, but it wasn’t until someone truly saw me that it began to feel real and not like a fantasy. In my submission, I’ve come to realize that serving and surrendering control are what allow me to feel fully seen and accepted.

I need to submit, to give myself entirely, because that’s when I’ll feel complete. It’s never been a choice for me, it’s just who I am.

 

[Sunnyade]

We had a long term friendship and I didn't mind her dominant nature. When it progressed to sex, her power over me was overwhelming. With the two older women who dominated me when I was young it was experience/age driving the relationships.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I feel more at home and choose to be a little more compliant. I try to please though I do want to be pleasured too.

 

[Sol41]

Im much the same as the op most likley, I am rather a near constant nervous wreck inside because theres so much in my life I cant control.

Relinquishing that need in a safe and rewardinf environment is its own reward.

 

[MastersSlut1882]

I make so many decisions in my job that for some moments I just need to switch off and be used for his pleasure.

 

[tristantrotsky]

I make so many decisions in my job that for some moments I just need to switch off and be used for his pleasure.

That sounds entirely reasonable to me.
As a psychological motivation for being your Master's Slut, it shows a remarkable degree of self-knowing... as well as the pure animal satisfaction of being well-fucked in every orifice.

 

[MastersSlut1882]

That sounds entirely reasonable to me.
As a psychological motivation for being your Master's Slut, it shows a remarkable degree of self-knowing... as well as the pure animal satisfaction of being well-fucked in every orifice.

Well used with an aching set of holes

 

[tristantrotsky]

Well used with an aching set of holes

But you would have it no other way. I know. That ache in your holes is the warm glow of pleasure and satisfaction.