Women...ugh

[midwestyankee]

You can have my cookie when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.

Fair enough. Oh, shit, it's a sugar cookie anyway. Keep the little bugger.

 

[Keroin]

This discussion reminded me of my first girl's night I had here in Nelson, a few years back. We went to a dessert and wine bar after dinner. Menus were passed around and everyone was ooing and ahhing over the dessert selection when someone spoke up and said, why don't we order a bottle of wine and then we can order a couple of desserts to share.

Me: "Share? Dessert? No, sorry, ain't gonna happen."

I think the gals got a pretty good idea of what to expect from me from that night out.

 

[Keroin]

Fair enough. Oh, shit, it's a sugar cookie anyway. Keep the little bugger.

Oh, in that case...*pushes plate back toward Yanks*.

But if it was chocolate chip...

*Gives stink eye and shakes fist menacingly*

 

[~Haze~]

Men are just as insecure as women, IMO. They show it in different ways and they mostly, don't talk about it. We talk about it. It's part of human nature to be insecure to one degree or another. That's just my opinion of course.

I don't really think this is true.

In the midst of a conversation about dating and the pairing and compatibility of hotness (5's go out with 5's, 7's go out with 7's, and 10's go out with 10's - within one or two points on the scale and usually it's a lower male # with a higher female #. And this is all based on looks and physical appearance, obviously.) someone mentioned that they read somewhere (so, I can't back this up with a link) that women think they are less attractive than they are and men think they are more attractive than they are.

And that sounds accurate to me.

Also, I don't know if it's because I am a man or if it's because of my personal experience or history or just the way that I am, but I feel comfortable saying that I am probably about as confident as you can get. To the point where the label of "cocky" is an understatement and I am entirely okay with that. So insecurity isn't really an issue.

It's not a detail that I share with many people (telling them that I am cocky) because most people have a prejudice against over-confidence. Besides, it's just something that goes on in my head and doesn't really present itself as anything other than being self assured.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm not fond of cocky. I will say your main focus was on people feeling acceptably attractive or not. There are all kinds of insecurities besides self perceived looks.

 

[~Haze~]

I'm not fond of cocky. I will say your main focus was on people feeling acceptably attractive or not. There are all kinds of insecurities besides self perceived looks.

Oh, I know. Presented like that, no one is a fan. And as I said, it's not something that I share (just with you guys, for this discussion), just something that goes on in my head.

And looks have little to do with it. My physical appearance wasn't even in the top 5 considerations, although I do think I'm a pretty good looking mother fucker. :wink:

It's more of a general frame of mind.

I go into any room and any situation thinking...

Hmm... "Thinking" isn't really the best way to describe it so let me start over.

I go into any room and any situation knowing that I am going to be the most intelligent, charming, self assured, experienced, witty, successful (by my own standards - which, by the way, are the only ones that matter) person in the room. Oh yes.. and with out a doubt, the most attractive person as well.

But I do it all in a very charming... disarming... way. :shrugs: It works.

 

[midwestyankee]

Oh, in that case...*pushes plate back toward Yanks*.

But if it was chocolate chip...

*Gives stink eye and shakes fist menacingly*

Did I ever tell you what I prefer to do with my fist?

[/hijack]

Count me as another one who recognizes the traits that you've described here but who is mystified why women persist in these behaviors that probably don't serve them well in the long run.

 

[Keroin]

I go into any room and any situation knowing that I am going to be the most intelligent, charming, self assured, experienced, witty, successful (by my own standards - which, by the way, are the only ones that matter) person in the room. Oh yes.. and with out a doubt, the most attractive person as well.

But I do it all in a very charming... disarming... way. :shrugs: It works.

Oh my Cod! Lance? Is that you?

I had no idea my husband was secretly posting on here.

 

[Keroin]

Did I ever tell you what I prefer to do with my fist?

Um...play rock, paper scissors?

Tee hee.

[/hijack]

Count me as another one who recognizes the traits that you've described here but who is mystified why women persist in these behaviors that probably don't serve them well in the long run.

Duly noted. I hope I can count on your vote at election time?

 

[midwestyankee]

Um...play rock, paper scissors?

Tee hee.



Duly noted. I hope I can count on your vote at election time?

I'm from Chicago so my vote is always available for the right price.

 

[~Haze~]

Oh my Cod! Lance? Is that you?

I had no idea my husband was secretly posting on here.

Oooo... I could only wish to be so lucky, K. Your husband is a lucky, lucky man.

 

[~Haze~]

Oh my Cod! Lance? Is that you?

I had no idea my husband was secretly posting on here.

Oh yea... and thanks for reminding me. All this talk about *me* ::distracted by my reflection in the mirror:: and I lost focus for a second.


My original point was that I don't think this self-assured-over-confidence is all that uncommon. At least in men.

 

[Keroin]

Oooo... I could only wish to be so lucky, K. Your husband is a lucky, lucky man.

Can you print that on a postcard and mail it to him?




LOL. Seriously, you are very sweet. And one of the big things that attracted me to Lance was his confidence, BTW. That and he made me laugh until I almost peed my pants. Pants peeing laughter is a huge turn on for me.

 

[~Haze~]

LOL. Seriously, you are very sweet. And one of the big things that attracted me to Lance was his confidence, BTW. That and he made me laugh until I almost peed my pants. Pants peeing laughter is a huge turn on for me.

I would have guessed as much. I was exaggerating a little about all my favorable qualities for sake of the conversation. :looks around: And that relates back to the conversation I mentioned about men being with more attractive women.

Generally (IMO - and I've read studies that support this, but I'm not linking them so posting this as opinion for now) men are drawn to looks, beauty, physical appearance and women are attracted to other qualities like charm, wit, stability, protective nature, cock size, providers, skill in the bedroom - things like that.

 

[BiBunny]

Oh my Cod! Lance? Is that you?

I had no idea my husband was secretly posting on here.

Shit, I thought it was my Masterly One.

So Haze is your husband, and your husband is actually my Owner person? How'd that happen?

 

[graceanne]

No, I'm not surprised this doesn't match your experience, from what I know of you, OSG. It is something I've observed on numerous occasions, though and I think that women who regularly associate with groups of other women in a friendly environment might concur.

I think of it as "no one wants to eat the last cookie" behaviour. You know, when there's a group of women and only one *delicious* cookie left on the plate and no one wants to eat it because they think it would be rude? So everyone just works hard at ignoring it and when finally someone speaks up everyone pretends they're full or something to avoid looking greedy. That sort of behaviour. (Just an example, there may be plenty of women here who would eat that last cookie - I sure as heck would).

I am always the last person to eat the cookie. I let it sit there until I realize that's what's going on and even if I offer it no one will eat it, and then I eat it.

The same goes for anything else yummy.

Or just give me the fucking cookies and everyone will be happy.

You can have my cookie when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.

While you two were bickering, I ate the cookies.

Oh, in that case...*pushes plate back toward Yanks*.

But if it was chocolate chip...

*Gives stink eye and shakes fist menacingly*

I got those, too. Sorry. Really.

 

[subish2009]

Oh my Cod! Lance? Is that you?

I had no idea my husband was secretly posting on here.

Shit, I thought it was my Masterly One.

So Haze is your husband, and your husband is actually my Owner person? How'd that happen?

You're both wrong. Haze is very clearly my online Dom.

 

[graceanne]

You're both wrong. Haze is very clearly my online Dom.

Or maybe he's homburg!

 

[Keroin]

Or maybe he's homburg!

And Homburg is Chuck Norris so....

 

[Keroin]

self hijack


I like it when a thread goes madly off in all directions! Chaos, sweet chaos, how I love thee.

/self hijack

 

[midwestyankee]

And Homburg is Chuck Norris so....

Which, at least, is one step better than being David Carradine.

 

[intothewoods]

I completely agree with this. I LOVE men. Sexually, yes, I'm very hetero, but even platonically, I've always gotten along better with men. I always had mostly male friends growing up. Women don't seem to get me and I don't get them either. Men and I usually click instantly.

This has greatly improved for me with age, but even now, I find myself in conversations with women, especially in groups, where it's very clear that I have nothing to contribute to the conversation, i say all the wrong things, and I'm bored to tears.

A perfect example of this was two weekends ago when my husband was hosting a boys' night at our house. All the wives and kids had dinner at one of the wives' houses and it was fine, pleasant, but I was sooooo over it by the end. I came home and the boys were still going strong, all drunk. I put the kid to bed and they wanted me to hang out with them, so i did. I immediately felt 100% comfortable, at ease, like I could totally be my unedited self, and laughed all night. It was a GREAT time. I don't know what that's about, but it's the story of my life.

I’m going to take a stab at this one because I think you are far from alone in this. I’ve noticed a pattern on this board and elsewhere. There are large numbers of women who express a desire to try to make everyone happy or to at least try their best not to offend anyone. This is a noble goal, though many women acknowledge the impossibility of making everyone happy. However, being considerate and politically correct 24/7 is – in my experience – exhausting. So, you put a bunch of women together in a room, all trying to be nice, say the right thing, dress appropriately, not offend anyone, etc, etc, etc and it becomes exhausting to the nth power.

I’ve also noticed a large number of women on this board and elsewhere who say they have trouble having relationships with women, dislike women, don’t feel comfortable with women, etc, and much prefer the company of men. No surprise there. With “the guys” there is not that expectation of “we must all get along no matter the cost to our personal happiness”. It’s liberating to either discard political correctness or to at least tone it down.

So it’s interesting that the very qualities that women express as important seem to be the very qualities that repel them from the company of other women.

Well, that’s only a loose theory but I have definitely noticed this pattern.

I know I am certainly comfortable hanging with the guys…yeah, duh, that one was hard to figure out…but I have learned to cultivate meaningful relationships with other women, as well because there are lots of qualities women possess that I think are valuable. Mostly, I just started to choose my friends a lot more carefully. I now have several female friends that are strong, intelligent, witty, amazing, funny women who enrich my life to no end. My experience was that the change had to come from both ends, though. I had to cast off my PC, overly-considerate behaviour so that the women I was with could feel comfortable doing the same. That was surprisingly difficult, BTW.

There are goofy women who do all of this annoying shit, but thankfully I'm not close friends with any of them. My closest friends are more likely to be women, not men. We just get each other at a really deep level. The only man I am that close with is my husband.

I know I have said before that I dislike conflict, but good grief, I'm not that crazy about it! Someone who is overly accomodating makes me feel uncomfortable, which is kind of ironic. I prefer to hang around people who can be direct and honest, though I don't need every get together to be a confrontation either. I like easy-going. But man, my girls' nights go deep! Politics, religion, sex, men, women, babies, motherhood, life, death, love...I just really love my women friends.

 

[Keroin]

Which, at least, is one step better than being David Carradine.

Oh my, yes.

 

[subish2009]

Or maybe he's homburg!

And Homburg is Chuck Norris so....

Wait...Am I being Dommed by Chuck Norris and I didn't even know it?!? Wicked!

I'm pretty sure that makes me the coolest sub EVER. Just sayin'.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Or just give me the fucking cookies and everyone will be happy.

Careful there! I see an avalanche of cookies not eaten out of politeness, heading your way. =)