You're a burglar...

[UsuallyPresent]

Going into your phone and stealing all your memes
View attachment 2429345

 

[bbcbarry9033]

I'm taking the wheel on your mouse. Yeah, I know... that's old scrool.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Stealing all the padlock keys except for one that’s about to break

 

[EctoJohn]

I stole that last drop of juice at the bottom of the carton that nobody in your home wanted to finish just to avoid having to buy more and swear up and down that you still have some!

 

[ccs29745]

Rods off the blinds so you can't close them.

 

[EctoJohn]

I just stole all of your precious printer ink!

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Just wildly misaligned your driver's side headlight - and stole the heads off the adjustment bolts!

 

[cascadiabound]

Stole all the pillows off your beds

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Stole 1/8" off one leg of every chair in the house

 

[ShaneoD]

The backs off of all of your ear rings

 

[UsuallyPresent]

sCraMBLinG all the keys in the house scattered in couch cushions, on the tops of tall furniture, inside bulk storage, and amidst your slowly-growing random collection of containers

 

[Btq97]

All but 1 teaspoonb and the light bulb in the fridge

 

[bbcbarry9033]

Did someone already take all the coffee filters?

 

[SimonSex]

Did someone already take all the coffee filters?

Maybe, but I’m stealing the coffee and replacing it all with decaf

 

[UsuallyPresent]

And I’m refilling the kid’s koolade with water-Joe caffeinated koolade

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I’d steal all their electronics devices. Force them to reconnect with nature

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I'll place a tack in the bottom of the heel of your favorite left stiletto heel, so you're just sliiiiiightly off balance all the time you're wearing them...

 

[UnquietDreams]

The keys to your play-time handcuffs.

 

[Kraken_96]

Their hearts (oof)

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Any random spleens laying around? Yeah, they're gone. *scampers off*

 

[UnquietDreams]

Any random spleens laying around? Yeah, they're gone. *scampers off*

"Honey, have you seen my spleen? I am positive I left it here on the table."

 

[Kraken_96]

"Honey, have you seen my spleen? I am positive I left it here on the table."

I think I put it in the dryer?

 

[Masters_slutpussy]

The left sleeve from every shirt

 

[Trubbycat]

Everybody’s nice underwear

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I'm the Drycleaner! I take one button at random from every third article of clothing in the house! Muah hah hah hah haaaa!