You're a burglar...

[UnquietDreams]

thank you, it was way too bright in here anyway...

i have removed the space bar and enter keys from every keyboard, physical or digital...

I have changed all the keyboard layouts to Dvorak, and locked the settings.

 

[TXRafe]

I have changed all the keyboard layouts to Dvorak, and locked the settings.

hey gemini, take down an email for me...

 

[EctoJohn]

All your combs and hair brushes are mine!

 

[summer_reine]

All your combs and hair brushes are mine!

Ha! Foiled.. I'll use my toothbrush.

 

[EctoJohn]

Ha! Foiled.. I'll use my toothbrush.

Ha again! I stole your foil!

 

[Series 6]

The space bar off of their computer keyboard

 

[EctoJohn]

Your favorite coffee mug has been stolen.
Yours truly,
Arsene Lupin

 

[Cwtchseeker]

The wifi router

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

I'm taking Alexa.

 

[EctoJohn]

I've taken all your tea cups, it'll be only coffee for you now!

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

All the potatoes and potato products

 

[Chillygirl]

All the toilet seats

 

[drobert44]

The space bar off of their computer keyboard

Cruel!

 

[UnquietDreams]

The recharging cord for your favorite vibrator, the one where that is the only cord that will fit.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

The recharging cord for your favorite vibrator, the one where that is the only cord that will fit.

Well that’s no way to get an invite on the app that controls my favorite vibrator!

All the lube and lotion and even the coconut oil, so your little guy looks drier and more abused every time you play with it. Have a nice winter!

 

[summer_reine]

I would steal almost all of your spaghetti noodles leaving not quite enough for a meal. I would also ensure that you have 2 less lasagna noodles than you need

 

[UnquietDreams]

Well that’s no way to get an invite on the app that controls my favorite vibrator!

All the lube and lotion and even the coconut oil, so your little guy looks drier and more abused every time you play with it. Have a nice winter!

I thought of this while I was trying to find the cord for one of my toys. "Why are no two of these fucking things the same?"

 

[EctoJohn]

Beware! I have stolen all of your dust and there is nothing you can do about it!

 

[English_guy_bkk]

Stealing the anti-slip bathroom mat

 

[trinething1ns]

I’m opening up all your blinds and curtains and then snipping the cords and taking them so you can’t close them again.

 

[English_guy_bkk]

Stealing the pads under the chair legs

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Going into your phone and stealing all your memes

 

[Nicefella]

Sooo much theft.

 

[JackKingOff]

Stealing all your sex toys in hopes you cum begging for them back

 

[English_guy_bkk]

Stealing the knickers from the line of @Oni97k