….pick up younger woman at a bar, what makes older men attractive to younger woman

[Krigirl1233]

You said they can usually last longer than 30 secs and I wondered what you meant.

Ummm they last longer than 30 seconds to cum… duh

 

[Plasmaball]

Seen enough stories to say this does happen
Stories by whom? I’ve seen a lot of stories that support the incel agenda on line, but in RL, I’ve never seen it happen. It’s unlikely at best.

Incels and this are not the same thing.

I’m sorry that happened. It’s hard when a fantasy is burst, but it passes. Do you still have these feelings?

It crushed me back in the day.
thats a complicated answer.

unfortunately, eye contact, being polite, whatever can make some guys think you’re interested.

oh i get that. Ive fallen for shit like that to the point now i question it all. Im so bad at reading women lol.

Walking up to them, sniffing them and asking them out sometimes scared the hell out of them, but some love it.

I've never met or heard of a woman who likes being smelled. Maybe on the dance floor?

 

[Noor]

Ummm they last longer than 30 seconds to cum… duh

Incels and this are not the same thing.


It crushed me back in the day.
thats a complicated answer.


oh i get that. Ive fallen for shit like that to the point now i question it all. Im so bad at reading women lol.

I've never met or heard of a woman who likes being smelled. Maybe on the dance floor?

No some women like me smell guys to make sure they smell right. It’s not a think I get off on or anything and I don’t know if others liked to be smelled.
Smelling right is probably a biological thing.

 

[Plasmaball]

No some women like me smell guys to make sure they smell right. It’s not a think I get off on or anything and I don’t know if others liked to be smelled.
Smelling right is probably a biological thing.

Oh that makes more sense. I can't stand a woman who drowns herself in perfume. I would avoid those sections in malls.

 

[Krigirl1233]

No some women like me smell guys to make sure they smell right. It’s not a think I get off on or anything and I don’t know if others liked to be smelled.
Smelling right is probably a biological thing.

To each their own

 

[Britva415]

I'm sure you used the word 'entitled' unintentionally.

I meant, "have the right."

I get that the word "entitled" seems to have taken on a bad flavor because it is used as a bad-faith scare-word sometimes by some people. I blame the culture wars and the generation gaps. But has that become universal? Is it not possible to use "entitled" as a neutral or positive word anymore?

If so, then yeah, it was unintentional, because that wasn't what I meant at all. Too bad, because it used to be a useful and meaningful word rather than an attack. I meant women are... Allowed, deserve, have the liberty, should not be judged for, have the unalienable right to, etc etc etc all in perfectly good faith.

I didn't use that word in the context of hate-labeling anyone's spoiled attitude of being owed something unearned, or the context of campaigning against them wasteful socialist gubmint welfare programs, so I'm honestly a bit surprised it was taken negatively at all.

How would you have worded it?

 

[Britva415]

As a guy walked by he was clearly interested, and then the younger woman says to me something to the effect of “Shit I made direct eye contact and now i have to look him up and down so he knows I’m definitely not interested“ and it worked. I was just fascinated about with her thought process and how quick it was.

I don't follow this at all. I would think a woman looking me up and down could be a blatant indication of interest, especially if it followed the eye contact. Even without any previous eye contact.

I'd think that to show disinterest, someone would... show disinterest. By, y'know, not looking. And cold-shouldering any approach.

I feel like something went unsaid here. What am I missing about this interaction, or her thought process, or the way she looked at him?

 

[Noor]

I meant, "have the right."

I get that the word "entitled" seems to have taken on a bad flavor because it is used as a bad-faith scare-word sometimes by some people. I blame the culture wars and the generation gaps. But has that become universal? Is it not possible to use "entitled" as a neutral or positive word anymore?

If so, then yeah, it was unintentional, because that wasn't what I meant at all. Too bad, because it used to be a useful and meaningful word rather than an attack. I meant women are... Allowed, deserve, have the liberty, should not be judged for, have the unalienable right to, etc etc etc all in perfectly good faith.

I didn't use that word in the context of hate-labeling anyone's spoiled attitude of being owed something unearned, or the context of campaigning against them wasteful socialist gubmint welfare programs, so I'm honestly a bit surprised it was taken negatively at all.

How would you have worded it?

I don’t know how I’d word it,I probably would probably never feel the need to say out. “ have the right “ is another thing that comes up in incel language a the time.
it’s pretty equivalent to entitled.

 

[Noor]

I don't follow this at all. I would think a woman looking me up and down could be a blatant indication of interest, especially if it followed the eye contact. Even without any previous eye contact.

I'd think that to show disinterest, someone would... show disinterest. By, y'know, not looking. And cold-shouldering any approach.

I feel like something went unsaid here. What am I missing about this interaction, or her thought process, or the way she looked at him?

I suspect they make a negative face when they look a guy up and down.

 

[Britva415]

I don’t know how I’d word it,I probably would probably never feel the need to say out. “ have the right “ is another thing that comes up in incel language a the time.
it’s pretty equivalent to entitled.

I felt the need to spell out "I'm not saying..." because of shit like this.

*cough*

 

[Cernunnos69]

Hi!
I've always had a thing for older men (neither daddy issues or gold digger vibes either as someone stated) and been picked up by older guys a fair bit through the years. When I was younger (like 20) I assumed the 40 year old man was just the pinnacle... I'm 40 now myself and find myself drawn to men a lot older.

As for the pick up... confidence is key, not cockiness just a quiet understated confidence. You have been around the block, you know how everything works, you are experienced and expert... for initial conversation I'd start light, buy a drink, ask her questions about her life, touch her - but not in a creepy way, just let your leg touch hers or touch her arm as you laugh at something she says. Touch is a great way to test if there is a spark! If you are getting good vibes then push a little further, tell her she smells great, tell her she's beautiful...

A lot of women love a silver fox!

How about a white wolf? I'm 25 years older than you, are you willing to talk with me?? I see you're attached, I am also. What are you looking for on Lit? If you're interested check out my profile and PM me with any questions you have! Cernunnos/Horned God

 

[stickygirl]

I meant, "have the right."

I get that the word "entitled" seems to have taken on a bad flavor because it is used as a bad-faith scare-word sometimes by some people. I blame the culture wars and the generation gaps. But has that become universal? Is it not possible to use "entitled" as a neutral or positive word anymore?

If so, then yeah, it was unintentional, because that wasn't what I meant at all. Too bad, because it used to be a useful and meaningful word rather than an attack. I meant women are... Allowed, deserve, have the liberty, should not be judged for, have the unalienable right to, etc etc etc all in perfectly good faith.

I didn't use that word in the context of hate-labeling anyone's spoiled attitude of being owed something unearned, or the context of campaigning against them wasteful socialist gubmint welfare programs, so I'm honestly a bit surprised it was taken negatively at all.

How would you have worded it?

I guessed you didn't mean anything sexist, but it's complicated sentence and I wouldn't presume to edit your words. I dunno, maybe 'correct'? So ...'women aren't correct in choosing to reject'...?

Odd isn't it that in English we've got wrong vs right, but then right also means people's rights/privileges ... and then left/right!! Poor old words and the trouble they cause Same with expressions like friend-zoned or even fanny/pussy.

Getting back to older men and their attractiveness. Maybe they had the rough edges knocked off by successive women advising on their dress sense? Or they've had kids themselves and have that benign sense of understanding toward a young woman, if they've seen their own daughter grow up?

I wonder too, if a young woman already knows she's not going to have kids with this older man, because he wouldn't necessarily be the best choice, so she's happy to be flattered by the attention of someone who has seen more of the world than her? I'd melt if a silver haired man told me how he'd watched the sun go down over Venice or pitched a tent in the Hindu Kush... too dreamy!

 

[littlecordelera]

Agree hundred percent, my wife before we met had a significant relationship with an older guy but it was because their paths crossed in a setting where they could talk and develop beyond immediate attraction. I think his affluence helped but it was less about subsidies more being exposed to a much more sophisticated life. Plus probably a good dose of daddy issues

I am glad your wife had that experience, but i didn't mean to give the impression that my situation was similar.

The first time John and I had sex, after he was done, I walked to the bathroom and had to suppress the urge to vomit. I was sick because I had put myself in a situation where I had traded myself for financial gain. I was not attracted to John. I was attracted to his money.

Once the urge to throw up had passed, I stood in that bathroom and quietly cried and cried and cried. It was the second worst day of my life.

By the time I was 19 years old, my life had been completely fucked up. But it was what it was, and I needed money to pay for college. I wiped away those tears and did what I had to do to build a better future. In time, I came to care deeply for him, but it took a lot of time.

Money does not make an older guy attractive, it just makes the guy a means to an end.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Money does not make an older guy attractive, it just makes the guy a means to an end.

Yup, well put.

 

[Plasmaball]

With all due respect, I couldn't disagree more.

Yeah, guys, be a 40-something and touch a 20-something, and see how well that goes. She will probably not react in a noticeable way, because she's afraid of you, but at some point, she will likely start texting. If she is not texting friends, there are apps now for young girls to report guys who appear threatening.

Clearly this is a mixed bag where either way could go.

It also comes off as hypocritical since you basically set yourself up with an older man for money. Too which that's your deal if both of you understood the contract.

You didn't reject his advances, you used them. Yeah you cried but you kept going.

Plenty of women like older men and didn't have to do the mental gymnastics to get there.

You don't have to be an older man to be a creep either. That's an all ages thing. The double standard here is quite amusing. If we reverse this and make it and older woman and a younger guy nobody would really care. The idea that women are innocent creatures who can't handle an older man because they can be creepy. That's well something society has cultivated over the recent years.

The older man kink, step dad kink and sugar daddy kink push this idea of it being creepy into just dumb territory.

 

[stickygirl]

Clearly this is a mixed bag where either way could go.

It also comes off as hypocritical since you basically set yourself up with an older man for money. Too which that's your deal if both of you understood the contract.

Waat?

You didn't reject his advances, you used them. Yeah you cried but you kept going.

Plenty of women like older men and didn't have to do the mental gymnastics to get there.

You don't have to be an older man to be a creep either. That's an all ages thing. The double standard here is quite amusing. If we reverse this and make it and older woman and a younger guy nobody would really care. The idea that women are innocent creatures who can't handle an older man because they can be creepy. That's well something society has cultivated over the recent years.

This isn't a situation where you can switch genders to prove a point - at all. There's a totally different power dynamic at play in each, plus the title refers to women in a bar.

You guys keep bringing it back to your own perspective all the time. Why should it be about him being creepy and not simply about how she feels when an older guy hits on her in a bar? Does that mean older men who don't regard themselves as creepy get a pass?

Where does this money thing come from - he's only just run some corny line? You're accusing a woman ( who doesn't have her tits out nor running her tongue round her lips ) of using subterfuge to reel in an unsuspecting older man?

The older man kink, step dad kink and sugar daddy kink push this idea of it being creepy into just dumb territory.

No, no, no. Real life ≠ Lit kink stories. You're the one to have mentioned kink.

 

[stickygirl]

I'm gonna bale on this thread, which is becoming a carousel. For the record, I'm only debating the ideas put forward and I'm not out to create animosity or make ad hominem attacks. It's been fun knocking ideas but I hope no one is bruised, which was not my intention. Thanks each.

 

[Leglover1234]

As a 42 year old guy I would never hit on a woman 20 years younger at a bar. Maybe 10 years younger. The only way I would pursue a woman so young is if in some weird situation she showed an interest. But I’m a milf kinda guy anyway

 

[Plasmaball]

Waat?

What

This isn't a situation where you can switch genders to prove a point - at all. There's a totally different power dynamic at play in each, plus the title refers to women in a bar.

Sure you can. Women can be fucking creeps as well and play on the power dynamic.

You guys keep bringing it back to your own perspective all the time. Why should it be about him being creepy and not simply about how she feels when an older guy hits on her in a bar? Does that mean older men who don't regard themselves as creepy get a pass?

Its not always they are a creep. Women have shown that they don't find men doing this as creepy. Some women have shown it is creepy to them. Who is right?

Where does this money thing come from - he's only just run some corny line? You're accusing a woman ( who doesn't have her tits out nor running her tongue round her lips ) of using subterfuge to reel in an unsuspecting older man?

like that hasnt ever happened? But no you didnt read what i said. If they both understand the contract then who cares.
men will lie to women to get them in bed. Women will lie to men to get what they want as well. This isnt a black and white issue.

No, no, no. Real life ≠ Lit kink stories. You're the one to have mentioned kikink

Yes yes...lit isn't real till it is real. Age old weak argument is weak.

Therefore everyone's posts on lit are total bullshit and lies.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

I don't follow this at all. I would think a woman looking me up and down could be a blatant indication of interest, especially if it followed the eye contact. Even without any previous eye contact.

I'd think that to show disinterest, someone would... show disinterest. By, y'know, not looking. And cold-shouldering any approach.

I feel like something went unsaid here. What am I missing about this interaction, or her thought process, or the way she looked at him?

Hmm, I’m stating what she told me and what she did and she was able to convey quite a good look of disdain while she did it and I can tell you that it was effective.

The problem of showing disinterest was that it was undone by her mistakenly making eye contact and she didn’t want him bothering her.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

I am glad your wife had that experience, but i didn't mean to give the impression that my situation was similar.

The first time John and I had sex, after he was done, I walked to the bathroom and had to suppress the urge to vomit. I was sick because I had put myself in a situation where I had traded myself for financial gain. I was not attracted to John. I was attracted to his money.

Once the urge to throw up had passed, I stood in that bathroom and quietly cried and cried and cried. It was the second worst day of my life.

By the time I was 19 years old, my life had been completely fucked up. But it was what it was, and I needed money to pay for college. I wiped away those tears and did what I had to do to build a better future. In time, I came to care deeply for him, but it took a lot of time.

Money does not make an older guy attractive, it just makes the guy a means to an end.

That sounds awful, hers I believe was indeed very different, where she was attracted to more than his wealth, she was also older than you ( early twenties ) and when you’re that young a few years makes a big difference. Do you regret it? Or is it one of the experiences that makes you who you are today?

 

[littlecordelera]

That sounds awful, hers I believe was indeed very different, where she was attracted to more than his wealth, she was also older than you ( early twenties ) and when you’re that young a few years makes a big difference. Do you regret it? Or is it one of the experiences that makes you who you are today?

No, I don't regret it at all. As I wrote earlier in this thread, my time with him was quite memorable. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

 

[LLCox]

I think that's the appeal to older men - they're revisiting their youth by dating a much younger woman. Dreaming as usual.

If a young woman wanted to have a sexual relationship with me she would have to initiate the conversation. I've had plenty of pussy and I am not interested in being played or having to work for it. Put yor ass in the hands of an older man and you will not regret it. I used to call it building a memory and now I have a large catalogue to choose from. I am sure the women I have been with remember me too.

 

[dasgoodshit]

No. He was a customer at a place where I worked. The thing he was purchasing was very big and expensive and requires a lot of support after the sale. The process takes time and visits, so he and I interfaced often. As you can tell, I would rather not say what the item was in these forums.

I could not tell, but now I am extremely curious as to what it is and why wouldn't want to say. Was it a fuck machine?

 

[dasgoodshit]

I question why it is so awful to find yourself 'friendzoned' if it amounts to "He's okay, but I wouldn't fuck him"? If men take offence at being regarded simply as a friend, their reaction justifies the description. It's often said a man can't just be friends with a woman because of the assumption he really wants to fuck her. What does that say about them?

It's because of the time and effort, and it isn't regarded as offensive, it's just disappointment. If a young man, he's ready to bang yesterday. If older, he has less time. The guy knows going into the relationship that that's what he wants- to fuck. That's what that says about them- they want to fuck. Remember that men and women are different- women want a fun partner that happens to be a good lay. Men want a good lay that happens to be fun. "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus."