2009 Survivor Poetry Challenge: Workshop

[Angeline]

I don't know. I read two sites that said that they could be fictional-- one was a teacher's site, the other was a poetry contest.

I would wait until Lady Lauren comes to decide.

I am saying fuck it and doing another one. It is hard to do a cherihew AND a trigger. Sucks.

hahah

okay enough of my griping, I have to write a cherrychew about the crocodile hunter.

by the way, to cherrychews have titles or just the name of the person is the title?

I think Lauren would say we're stressing too much and established fictional character is fine. But we'll see.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Ok, I think this is an acrostic cinquain. It sounds iambic to me, but I'd appreciate some feedback on whether I'm getting the stresses right. I've read it back to myself over and over and I can't tell anymore:

Acrostic Cinequain

Let not
Our errant cries,
Vain moments in this night,
Erase tomorrow’s clarity.
(Regret).

I read it a couple times and I think you got it.
Does anyone else tap something when checking to see if something is iambic?
I feel like such a noob goober.

 

[annaswirls]

I think it looks good, but what the hell do I know?



Poetically it is smooth, soothing, slipping into sad...... but cinquain, bwahaa

sounds iambic to me too...

Ok, I think this is an acrostic cinquain. It sounds iambic to me, but I'd appreciate some feedback on whether I'm getting the stresses right. I've read it back to myself over and over and I can't tell anymore:

Acrostic Cinequain

Let not
Our errant cries,
Vain moments in this night,
Erase tomorrow’s clarity.
(Regret).

 

[annaswirls]

I read it a couple times and I think you got it.
Does anyone else tap something when checking to see if something is iambic?
I feel like such a noob goober.

you are a sexy noob goober.
come tap a little closer

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

I think Lauren would say we're stressing too much and established fictional character is fine. But we'll see.

yes, i think we are venturing dangerously close to zapping the fun out of this.

you are a sexy noob goober.
come tap a little closer

awww... you're making me blush

 

[pushkine]

So I am finding that cherihews might not as rigid as one might presume?

http://chestertonandfriends.blogspot.com/2006/07/clerihew.html

One site I saw said "doesn't have to be about a real person" and another said "has to be about a real person."

I do not want to be a poor sport, give me a day to fix the score card and delete the poem

For the purposes of the contest, all that matters is what the moderator says:

Clerihew
Short humorous poem invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley. It is biographical and usually whimsical, showing the subject from an unusual point of view, but it is hardy ever satirical, abusive, or obscene. It consists of four lines of irregular length (for comic effect) with a rhyme scheme of aabb. The first line consists solely (or almost solely) of a well-known person's name (the subject of the poem).

Emphasis mine.

Your poem is good for other points in the Survivor matrix. (And, I may say, rather good as poem, in any case.)

It's not, however, a clerihew.

But, the Moderator always wins. Take it up with her.

 

[Angeline]

I read it a couple times and I think you got it.
Does anyone else tap something when checking to see if something is iambic?
I feel like such a noob goober.

I think it looks good, but what the hell do I know?



Poetically it is smooth, soothing, slipping into sad...... but cinquain, bwahaa

sounds iambic to me too...

Thanks.

I submitted it so someone else will have to slap it down if it's wrong. I used Lauren's example of breaking each word into syllables and bolding what I thought should be stressed. Then I played around with it until it matched her example. I feel like I just spent the last hour spelunking.

This old goober is going to bed. I think I can sneak the remote away from the sleeping Mr. Eyez now. W00t.

Oh and yeah. I counted on my fingers. Very high level here.

 

[annaswirls]

Crikey!

Steve Robert Irwin
Victoria to Queensland
Wrestled snake and crocodile
Till the stingray stole his smile.



Okay I feel like I am in 6th grade writing this form

 

[pushkine]

Clerihews have to be real people?

ugh!

So, my Rapunzel clerihew shouldn't count... not as a clerihew anyway.

ETA:

It's Day 2 and I have a literal pain in the butt and a headache!

Let me quote again, with emphasis: The first line consists solely (or almost solely) of a well-known person's name.

So, is a fictional person bad?

My personal opinion is that, yes, fictional personages should not count. Clerihews are about real people, dead or alive.

But the rules do not strictly state that, and your Rapunzel poem is so clever and fun that I will not object to it.

I object to Annaswirls' poem because it has no name in the first line, merely some analogy: "birdlady hums". Don't mean to drift her intent, as it is a good line, but it's far enough off what I see as the definition of what's required by the form that I object to it.

Lauren is arbiter, here. OK with her? OK with me.

Take it up with her.

 

[annaswirls]

Thanks dude, point taken, poem already deleted.

I will save it if I need an old woman feeding bird poem somewhere down the line.

For the purposes of the contest, all that matters is what the moderator says:
Emphasis mine.

Your poem is good for other points in the Survivor matrix. (And, I may say, rather good as poem, in any case.)

It's not, however, a clerihew.

But, the Moderator always wins. Take it up with her.

 

[annaswirls]

I already deleted it, so do not want to push this further, but "the birdlady" is not an analogy, "the birdlady" is what everyone in the movie calls her, her only name.
So "well-known person" does not in and of itself eliminate fictional characters. Rapunzel is a well known person in my book.

But I agree, my poem really does not follow with the spirit of the form. I wrote a really shitty stupid one that does. It fits, quite perfectly among its shittyness

Let me quote again, with emphasis: The first line consists solely (or almost solely) of a well-known person's name.

So, is a fictional person bad?

My personal opinion is that, yes, fictional personages should not count. Clerihews are about real people, dead or alive.

But the rules do not strictly state that, and your Rapunzel poem is so clever and fun that I will not object to it.

I object to Annaswirls' poem because it has no name in the first line, merely some analogy: "birdlady hums". Don't mean to drift her intent, as it is a good line, but it's far enough off what I see as the definition of what's required by the form that I object to it.

Lauren is arbiter, here. OK with her? OK with me.

Take it up with her.

 

[The_Fool]

I already deleted it, so do not want to push this further, but "the birdlady" is not an analogy, "the birdlady" is what everyone in the movie calls her, her only name.
So "well-known person" does not in and of itself eliminate fictional characters. Rapunzel is a well known person in my book.

But I agree, my poem really does not follow with the spirit of the form. I wrote a really shitty stupid one that does. It fits, quite perfectly among its shittyness

Anna....

 

[annaswirls]

Anna....

Foolio.....

oh I might write a Cherrychew about the Fool.... is he a famous person? I guess I would have to use your real name...hmmm I guess I better save you for a limerick

oh no! Are you going to tell me my crocodile hunter one doesn't count either? holy shit. I should have stuck to my non-writing existence.

I shouldve signed up under another name... I cant believe these will be on record hahah pass me a drink Fool

 

[The_Fool]

Foolio.....

oh I might write a Cherrychew about the Fool.... is he a famous person? I guess I would have to use your real name...hmmm I guess I better save you for a limerick

oh no! Are you going to tell me my crocodile hunter one doesn't count either? holy shit. I should have stuck to my non-writing existence.

I shouldve signed up under another name... I cant believe these will be on record hahah pass me a drink Fool

Straight out of the bottle tonight doll. Fucked up night. Still got another couple hours of work.

 

[annaswirls]

sorry for mucking up the thread!

 

[pushkine]

Thanks dude, point taken, poem already deleted.

I will save it if I need an old woman feeding bird poem somewhere down the line.

I already deleted it, so do not want to push this further, but "the birdlady" is not an analogy, "the birdlady" is what everyone in the movie calls her, her only name.
So "well-known person" does not in and of itself eliminate fictional characters. Rapunzel is a well known person in my book.

But I agree, my poem really does not follow with the spirit of the form. I wrote a really shitty stupid one that does. It fits, quite perfectly among its shittyness

Please note that my name is not "dude."

There is nothing wrong with your poem. It is, as I noted, a fine poem. Just not a clerihew. That "Mr. Banks" stuff was clever, though you mention that that references a movie and that is a reference I do not know. I was assuming the guys who sold seed at Trafalgar Square. Am I wrong?

None of this matters. Whether I think your poem satisfies the requirement for a clerihew or not is irrelevant. The only opinion that matters is, of course, the moderator's opinion.

This contest is hers to judge. Take it up with her.

 

[annaswirls]

I apologize, I did not mean disrespect by calling you dude, Mr. pushkine.

The movie reference is Mary Poppins. You should seriously see it sometime. The song "feed the birds" was Walt Disney's all time favorite. Teared him up every time (okay I researched a little before writing the poem.) "The bird lady" was a key character in the movie.

The moderator's opinion is not the only opinion that matters. You made a valid point and I agreed and responded to that point. We do not always need to call in the authorities every time. Self-policing is a much better policy unless there is argument. There is none. You tell me "take it up with her" when pushkine, I have already said you are right and it is deleted. Not necessary, you are right.

Please note that my name is not "dude."

There is nothing wrong with your poem. It is, as I noted, a fine poem. Just not a clerihew. That "Mr. Banks" stuff was clever, though you mention that that references a movie and that is a reference I do not know. I was assuming the guys who sold seed at Trafalgar Square. Am I wrong?

None of this matters. Whether I think your poem satisfies the requirement for a clerihew or not is irrelevant. The only opinion that matters is, of course, the moderator's opinion.

This contest is hers to judge. Take it up with her.

 

[annaswirls]

Quick Question:

Lauren: Famous Speeches. Can they be sermons? Lectures? Or must they be public speeches (generally political in nature?)

I really do not want to be difficult, I just want to make sure I understand, I have been pouring through pages of political speeches and having a hard time making a poem, but do not want to spend a lot of time using sources I will not be able to use.

Thanks!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Don't stress to much, people. Remember we're doing this for fun.

In my opinion, using a fictional character as the subject of a clerihew is fine and within the spirit of the form. It's supposed to be a funny biographical poem, and good well-known characters do have life stories. In the case in point, I would have called her Bird Lady, because that's how she's known. If I write a clerihew about the author of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, I'm not going to start it with Charles Dodgson. Maybe I would, but you get the drift. When reading Anna's poem, though, I did feel that it was bending the rules a little too much. Not so much because of "birdlady" by itself, but combined with "hums" in the first line. It effectively eliminates the cut between lines 1 and 2, making the transition too smooth for clerihew. I think. I'm not an expert on clerihews.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Quick Question:

Lauren: Famous Speeches. Can they be sermons? Lectures? Or must they be public speeches (generally political in nature?)

I really do not want to be difficult, I just want to make sure I understand, I have been pouring through pages of political speeches and having a hard time making a poem, but do not want to spend a lot of time using sources I will not be able to use.

Thanks!

I think sermons and lectures fall in the public speeches category. Go ahead.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Acrostic Cinquain

1 Let not
2 Our err|ant cries,
3 Vain mo|ments in | this night,
4 Erase | tomo|rrow’s cla|rity.
1 (Regret).

Perfect.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

This a cinquain?

On winning the race

Quote me
Understate entry
Estimated flow … the child
Stop the Lit … the pen of babe
Tames all

Quote me - I read two strong syllables, which is fine.

Un|derstate| entry - I can't read this as two iambs no matter how hard I try. If this line is to have the word "understate" in it, it needs a weak syllable before and nothing after. If it is to have the word entry, it needs a weak syllable before and a strong one after.

Es|timat|ed flow | … the child - I can't read this as three iambs. There's an extra strong syllable at the beginning of the line. "the estimated flow" would make three iambs, though.


Stop | the Lit | … the pen | of babe - There's a weak syllable missing at the beginning of the line.

Tames all - I can read this as either a iamb or a spondee, both of which are fine.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Hey Anna, you dudette you! Thanks for all of the conversations on the Clerilohewscrew thingies. Moy informative AND entertaining (I enjoy watching people get prissy, pissy and silly)

Oh yeah, thank you too, pushpin

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Steve Robert Irwin
Victoria to Queensland
Wrestled snake and crocodile
Till the stingray stole his smile.



Okay I feel like I am in 6th grade writing this form

Still not right

Sorry been informed it's my accent at fault here not you !

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Opinions needed on this maybe Tanka with the trigger of the double acrostic. First i went for the syllable count and got this

Soon you my heart deny
Although seen thy need to feel
Darkness in this hand
Lovingly touch Aurora
Yours the daylight mine is loss

but as you see the penultimate line isn't long

Soon you my heart deny
Although seen thy need to feel
Darkness in this hand
Lovingly extend to touch Aurora
Yours the daylight mine is loss

so would this be better?