Are online d/s relationships a good thing?

[Recidiva]

oh yeahhhhhh - YOU're the softie! And if the Rotti is "so cute" - they why does HE wear the muzzle? Hmmm?

Hehe...forgive me for the minor threadjack.

Pictures of kitty and puppy, both with my daughter (I thank her for the pictures)

Evil Beast (Logan)



Little Nicky (Nici)

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Hehe...forgive me for the minor threadjack.

Pictures of kitty and puppy, both with my daughter (I thank her for the pictures)

Evil Beast (Logan)



Little Nicky (Nici)

~ Aww - they're cute. I hope no one minds a minor threadjack!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Maybe better continued in PM's?

Catalina

 

[Guest]

While I read this post he was digging his claws into my thigh (his signal for me to pick him up), so I did.

He's adorable. He's got the most horrid flatulence ever known to Gods or men and so there are air fresheners everywhere.

He likes to hide in wait and jump out, biting or scratching people (everyone but me).

My son named him "Nicey" and for my daughter I changed the spelling to "Nici" so it sounds exotic.

My husband calls him "Little Nicky"

Gods... Of all the bizarre hijacks... Me, not anyone else...

Wet food can cause that...But...So can table scraps (which are really not good for them), and nastiest of all... Worms will cause feline flatulence..

 

[Guest]

~
"Sadists have no heart. They don't care a whit about the soul of the person they are tormenting." That was my point - precisely.

Hey!!! I object to that ...I have a heart...Errrr..... Somewhere around here..
And I'm pretty sure that AA has two or three of em..

 

[Kajira Callista]

Hey!!! I object to that ...I have a heart...Errrr..... Somewhere around here..
And I'm pretty sure that AA has two or three of em..

*giggles*

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Hey!!! I object to that ...I have a heart...Errrr..... Somewhere around here..
And I'm pretty sure that AA has two or three of em..

~ I know you have a heart. You show it on some occasions. But... but... you're a SADIST?? .o0( I'd say more, but that would be telling and I don't want you to feel the need or be given cause to punish me - so I will cease my prattle now. )

And I don't know AA very well, if at all.

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

*giggles*

~ *giggles at your giggles*

 

[Guest]

~ I know you have a heart. You show it on some occasions. But... but... you're a SADIST?? .o0( I'd say more, but that would be telling and I don't want you to feel the need or be given cause to punish me - so I will cease my prattle now. )

And I don't know AA very well, if at all.

Ahhhhhhh.....If you haven't read this thread, you might want to..

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=287554&page=1&pp=100

 

[Kajira Callista]

~ I know you have a heart. You show it on some occasions. But... but... you're a SADIST?? .o0( I'd say more, but that would be telling and I don't want you to feel the need or be given cause to punish me - so I will cease my prattle now. )

And I don't know AA very well, if at all.

*watches that one fly right over her head*

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Ahhhhhhh.....If you haven't read this thread, you might want to..

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=287554&page=1&pp=100

~ I have 'earmarked' it - for now; and yes, I know my newness is showing again - and with all due respect, to you, and others, I will hold my comments and keep them to myself.

Thank you for the link to the thread Sir.

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

*watches that one fly right over her head*

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Nice...can I see it or should I say them?

I have a heart...Errrr..... Somewhere around here..
And I'm pretty sure that AA has two or three of em..

 

[Kajira Callista]

~ I know you have a heart. You show it on some occasions. But... but... you're a SADIST?? .o0( I'd say more, but that would be telling and I don't want you to feel the need or be given cause to punish me - so I will cease my prattle now. )

And I don't know AA very well, if at all.

hmmm holding out on us? why would he punish you....unless of course....he owned you.
hmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[Kajira Callista]

Nice...can I see it or should I say them?

such a smart girl

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

hmmm holding out on us? why would he punish you....unless of course....he owned you.
hmmmmmmmmmmm

~ no kc - just me deciding to keep my mouth shut. No one owns me at present. And I honestly don't know if one gets punished for speaking boldly or not. I didn't want to risk it - that's all.

 

[Kajira Callista]

~ no kc - just me deciding to keep my mouth shut. No one owns me at present. And I honestly don't know if one gets punished for speaking boldly or not. I didn't want to risk it - that's all.

well dayum...i speak boldly all the time... but im not getting punished for it.

wonder what im doing wrong

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

well dayum...i speak boldly all the time... but im not getting punished for it.

wonder what im doing wrong

~ well I opted to err on the side of caution? I don't know all that is or isn't acceptible or allowed or even tolerated. I know a few things that aren't either tolerated or allowed - and they are at the front of my brain. But, as time goes on, and as long as I am able - I will continue to learn.

 

[shy slave]

Back on topic

I was in an online relationship for about four months or so when I first started exploring BDSM.
It was limited in some respects but in other ways it was similiar to an LDR.
I don't recall punishments in terms of when I did something wrong, but I do recall corrections of behaviour.
Our relationship was strictly email no other contact, for a number of reasons personal to both of us.

Corrections came about when I did not answer an email within a given time slot or when it was obvious I had not proof read anything I had written before hitting 'send' (nothing changes ).

Corrections were often in the form of writing additional pieces, or to come up with new ways to use ordinary household implements, the ultimate correction was not to recieve an email from him.
It sounds low level now, but at the time as it was all new to me, not getting an email was hard to take. I had no other form of contact with him.
We talked about other possible corrections, photos of my doing various tasks were something he would like to have included, but that was a hard limit for me, I am shy about pictures being taken, very shy.
Other things we discussed, but did not actually do, was for me to make an object to his specifications for example a whip, flogger.

At the time online worked, it was a good place for me to explore my own mind and thoughts on various things that had never even crossed my mind previously. It was also an outlet for him, away from his day to day life.

In my view online and LDR are similiar because of the physical distance between both people.
I am pretty brave at times when I talk to Andante on the phone but he doesn't keep a count and add up all the remarks, he accepts its a part of my personality. There are times when he does expect obedience and I comply. I am sure if I didnt he would re-look at the dynamics of the relationship and it would not end in my favour. When we are together and I make the same remarks sometimes he acts on them, sometimes not.
We both have pretty clear ideas about what punishment is, what correction is and what is simply his whim to use me at any given time.

With hindsight it seems that photos of completed tasks or posting tasks completed could be a part of managing an online submissve who needed correction/punishment.

 

[RJMasters]

One of the things I find most dificult to deal with in any online relationship is the inability to "do something".

What I mean by that...if the person on the other end is having a bad time or needs my help...a typed hug seems worthless in comparison to what they really need. It leaves one feeling 'empty' and is not much real help to the other person.

Sometimes online can be very rewarding on some levels when the limitations are agreed to and accepted, but life has a habit of not caring what you agreed to or accepted, and that's when online can just plain suck. When it sucks, the difference is painfully obviuous between real life and a virtual one.

 

[raven2]

One of the things I find most dificult to deal with in any online relationship is the inability to "do something".

What I mean by that...if the person on the other end is having a bad time or needs my help...a typed hug seems worthless in comparison to what they really need. It leaves one feeling 'empty' and is not much real help to the other person.

Sometimes online can be very rewarding on some levels when the limitations are agreed to and accepted, but life has a habit of not caring what you agreed to or accepted, and that's when online can just plain suck. When it sucks, the difference is painfully obviuous between real life and a virtual one.

I think you make some very good points. With the hugs etc, there just really needs to be physical contact to really let someone know how you feel and that you are there for them.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think you make some very good points. With the hugs etc, there just really needs to be physical contact to really let someone know how you feel and that you are there for them.

I dunno....in the one online only relationship I had, there was no doubt about him being there for me, even when my father was taken to hospital with a stroke. There was no possibility of any physical contact, but he maintained contact via his computer, waiting to see how things were going, offering moral support and someone to talk to, and just making sure I knew I could contact him as much and whenever I needed. We never did get into this 'online typed hug' thing...it just didn't work for us that way, but there was plenty that could be said and shared realistically.

Catalina

 

[raven2]

I dunno....in the one online only relationship I had, there was no doubt about him being there for me, even when my father was taken to hospital with a stroke. There was no possibility of any physical contact, but he maintained contact via his computer, waiting to see how things were going, offering moral support and someone to talk to, and just making sure I knew I could contact him as much and whenever I needed. We never did get into this 'online typed hug' thing...it just didn't work for us that way, but there was plenty that could be said and shared realistically.

Catalina

It sounds like you had a wonderful person.

 

[serijules]

I haven't been involved in online-only relationships for a long time, but I still feel they have a place and a lot to offer if they are kept in tight perspective. My own relationship is long distance, so much of our interaction is done online, which makes it more or less an online relationship of its own flavour. I think because of this, I really do have a lot of respect for online relationships.

I do draw the line, however, at "online only" people giving advice on topics they have no real life experience in. I'm not about to take caning advice from a Dom who's never held or used a cane in his life, despite having "20 years of online experience". That is something that really bothers me and I'm cautious about where any advice I take comes from. Online is a great thing and has a lot to offer, but it is no comparison to real life. Those that can't or won't respect that are the ones I think have lost touch with reality.

I wrote an essay on this topic for a spanking publication in 2002. My opinions haven't changed a whole lot and I get a lot of compliments from "newbies" to online about this article.

Virtual Reality - Cyber Relationships - Are They Real?

 

[raven2]

I haven't been involved in online-only relationships for a long time, but I still feel they have a place and a lot to offer if they are kept in tight perspective. My own relationship is long distance, so much of our interaction is done online, which makes it more or less an online relationship of its own flavour. I think because of this, I really do have a lot of respect for online relationships.

I do draw the line, however, at "online only" people giving advice on topics they have no real life experience in. I'm not about to take caning advice from a Dom who's never held or used a cane in his life, despite having "20 years of online experience". That is something that really bothers me and I'm cautious about where any advice I take comes from. Online is a great thing and has a lot to offer, but it is no comparison to real life. Those that can't or won't respect that are the ones I think have lost touch with reality.

I wrote an essay on this topic for a spanking publication in 2002. My opinions haven't changed a whole lot and I get a lot of compliments from "newbies" to online about this article.

Virtual Reality - Cyber Relationships - Are They Real?

I agree that someone who has done nothing but online should not be giving advice on how to do it in real life. Motor skills, real life experience can't be duplicated online. You certainly can role play, but it still isn't the same as having to actually do the skills.