are you a slave, submissive or sensualist

[Richard49]

LOL... you so funny!

Okay, on topic now...

I don't know how you can seperate being a submissive and being a sensualist. I think that a submissive HAS to also be a sensualist in order to server her Master to the best of her ability.

I didn't read before red's posts, so probably someone else said this already.

but one can be a sensualist and not a submissive?

 

[redelicious]

but one can be a sensualist and not a submissive?

Yes. You can need or want pain or whatever stimulation without being driven to serve someone. I think that's the difference between a bottom and a submissive.

But I also think you can be a sensualist and have nothing to do with any kind of BDSM.

 

[redelicious]

I'm a sensual submissive Am i a slave? No because i'm not owned and yes because my heart longs to be.
Did i confuse everyone now?

I get it! It's like if a tree falls in a forrest...

So that's why I identify as submissive and not vanilla.

 

[Richard49]

I'm a sensual submissive Am i a slave? No because i'm not owned and yes because my heart longs to be.
Did i confuse everyone now?

so in your defintion
you must be owned to be a slave?

 

[Richard49]

I get it! It's like if a tree falls in a forrest...

So that's why I identify as submissive and not vanilla.

[red .. I really would like that AV hangin on my wall]

So I am missing
how/why you identify as a submissive
and not a vanilla

I am missing something

 

[Kajira Callista]

so in your defintion
you must be owned to be a slave?

how can you be a slave and unowned?

 

[shyly curious]

slave = owned, ... owned = controlled in very specific ways that both have agreed to.

submissive = someone who seeks to serve anothers needs and desires. someone who derives great pleasure and satisfaction by serving another. someone who puts anothers needs and pleasures before their own.

sensualist = someone who is in touch with their senses and seeks to have their senses actively stimulated regularly. be it touch, taste, sight, smell, hearing, or imagination.

I am a sub, my subsistence comes from my submission, and I am a sensualist too. In both mind and body, in BDSM and in vanilla.

I can't comprehend not being flooded with images and sensations every hour of every day, I would be lost.

Thank god I love maps!!!

 

[Richard49]

how can you be a slave and unowned?

kc

after all these years involved in BDSM
and D/s .............. I am trying ot understand a # of things
in a new light .................

sssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooo
what I am about to post
is only a posiblity.............. I am hoping to find a foundation
for myself ..........................

If submisiviness and slavery are a state of mind/heart
would one have to have a owner or Dom
to be either?

 

[Kajira Callista]

kc

after all these years involved in BDSM
and D/s .............. I am trying ot understand a # of things
in a new light .................

sssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooo
what I am about to post
is only a posiblity.............. I am hoping to find a foundation
for myself ..........................

If submisiviness and slavery are a state of mind/heart
would one have to have a owner or Dom
to be either?

being submissive is a character trait. i am not "a submissive" i am submissive. My being a slave doesnt change that character trait... it just changes what you call me. correct?

 

[Richard49]

being submissive is a character trait. i am not "a submissive" i am submissive. My being a slave doesnt change that character trait... it just changes what you call me. correct?

kc

What is your truth?

 

[Kajira Callista]

kc

What is your truth?

i'm not sure i'm willing to reveal that much of myself....lemme think about that.

 

[Safphyre]

Sensual is defined as "relating to or consisting in the gratification of the senses or the indulgence of appetite".

I am definately a sensualist ... the more sense the better ... or indulge me by heightening one or more by tying me up, sticking some earplugs in and blindfolding me...and I am in heaven. Or even better ... let me have the chance to please someone else with the same ... mmmmmmmmm.

I am a sub because I am admittedly a pleser and prefer the protection, safety and guidance of a Dom.

A slave... I am not. I am much too much of a smart ass to be able to be owned ... I would be punished more often than not and feeling more like a failure then anything else ... not what I am looking for at all.

 

[Safphyre]

If I may stick my 2 cents in here ...since I am getting so good at interrupting ....

....If submisiviness and slavery are a state of mind/heart
would one have to have a owner or Dom
to be either?

I disagree with this ... I consider myself submissive but I do not have a Dom ... my soul tells me this is the right station for me ...whether I am under the direction of a Dom or not does not change who I am. It is like saying a CPA is only a CPA during tax season and not before/after tax season.

 

[Richard49]

i'm not sure i'm willing to reveal that much of myself....lemme think about that.

kc
you can have all the time in the world
and you have my e-mail address

 

[Richard49]

If I may stick my 2 cents in here ...since I am getting so good at interrupting ....




I disagree with this ... I consider myself submissive but I do not have a Dom ... my soul tells me this is the right station for me ...whether I am under the direction of a Dom or not does not change who I am. It is like saying a CPA is only a CPA during tax season and not before/after tax season.

I think we said the same thing

 

[sweet4poison]

slave, or sub?

when i am with Master, i am slave. I can't imagine i would be considered sub. definitely not dom. Even if he were to ask me to switch i don't think i would be able to.
for me ... i have to be told what to do. when i am in full heat of the moment, i cant even manage to talk. maybe a yes or no... i think...
he laughs when i am in that space. i think he loves it. .

 

[Richard49]

Re: slave, or sub?

when i am with Master, i am slave. I can't imagine i would be considered sub. definitely not dom. Even if he were to ask me to switch i don't think i would be able to.
for me ... i have to be told what to do. when i am in full heat of the moment, i cant even manage to talk. maybe a yes or no... i think...
he laughs when i am in that space. i think he loves it. .

so how do you define these words/roles/titles?

 

[mastersproperty]

submissive, slave, sensualist

i have often felt that the words we use in the D/s community have such personal meaning that it is almost impossible for one person to mean the same thing as another when they say they are 'submissive' or 'slave' or 'sensualist.' So here is my very subjective and individual take on it....

Beyond it all, i am a submissive. It is my nature. It is who i was born to be, even though it took me a long time to truly acknowledge it and act on it. i am so grateful to have found a community that allows for this side of me to be expressed, because until that happened, i always had a sense that something was missing but i could not put my finger on it. To me, a slave is someone who is in a total submission to a master and it goes beyond the bedroom. In that definition, i am not a slave, because i am not interested in being someone's foot rest or cleaning their house for them or any of those things. Not that there is anything wrong with that , and god bless every form of turn on for people. But personally, i am into being a sex slave. i love the idea of fulfilling my Master's every sexual wish, i love the idea of servicing him and being the whore he wants at any moment. i love the idea of being at his beck and call and i love the idea of kneeling at his feet. Sensualist? How can one not be in the D/s world. Everything we do is about the senses.

As a submissive, my deepest desire is to completely surrender myself to my Master, knowing that i am safe in His hands, knowing that He knows me well enough, that He will not put me in harm's way, but He will always be the one in charge. i love that i am someone's property, that in that way i am a slave, because i am owned. i love belonging to someone even if i am not with Him every minute. The idea of it is so erotic. i love being free in this submission, because it allows the parts of myself that never had permission to be there to exist. i was raised in a fairly aristocratic family, i am very educated and for my whole life i was expected to act in a certain way. My Master frees me from this. In this way i do not have slavery, i have freedom. i am freed by the slavery i desire, i am freed by submitting to my Master. My Master knows that i am a dirtly little slut, a cum rag that wants only to be fucked, a whore that needs cock all the time. He knows this about me, while knowing my background. He knows about the whore that i am which needs a place to be freed and He delights in it. There are no social mores between us and i do not have to behave in the proper manner that i was raised. In fact, i am not allowed to sit in a ladylike manner with my legs crossed in public, but to have my knees apart at all times so that He has access to me and anyone can look up my skirt and see my wet little cunt hole. At the same time, i am definitely required to be respectful to him and other doms and their subs, i am required to make my Master proud of me with others, as it should be. But he also knows that i have place, and i know that i have a place, which is kneeling at his feet, which is bowed in submission, which is being his submissive and slave, his slut whore who he can fuck and use in any manner he wishes. If he wishes to loan me to another Dom, he will, though i always know Who i belong to. If He wishes to take me out in public - a place where he knows i will be anonymous- dressed in a short little skirt with his collar around my neck, He will do that. Whatever He wants from me that turns Him on, that makes Him hard, that shows my submission and that shows that He owns me and that i am His property, He can do. i am beside myself in expressing my submission to him this way, i am in my glory, i am fulfilling my purpose. He takes such very very very good care of me that i do not worry that he will put me in jeopardy or in harms way, and therefore i can give it all to him.
So to answer the question, i am a submissive and a sexual slave who is a sensualist and in submission to her Master. He lets me be the cum-loving slut that i know i am and i am proud to be owned by him.
It is the relationship, the reality of me needing to give myself over to another-- body, mind and soul-- in a safe but absolutely erotic way, that makes me a submissive. It completes me and it is who i am.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Here is my truth;
"There were always in me, two women at least,
one woman desperate and bewildered,
who felt she was drowning and another who
would leap into a scene, as upon a stage,
conceal her true emotions because they
were weaknesses, helplessness, despair,
and present to the world only a smile,
an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest." Anais Nin

Deep down where no one ever gets to see is a scared lost soul in need of control and acceptance from "the right" Dominant. Until she finds that, no one can see her, once she does she can remember what the sunshine feels like again.

 

[sweet4poison]

how do i define these terms

i go along with what most have said is the definition for being a slave or submissive. I put others needs and wants before my own, I go to great lengths to please, and to be of service. In that, i get a great deal of satisfaction. It has always been that way for me.

as for dominant, I cannot even imagine what mind set goes with that. i would never be able to be someone's boss.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Here is my truth;
"There were always in me, two women at least,
one woman desperate and bewildered,
who felt she was drowning and another who
would leap into a scene, as upon a stage,
conceal her true emotions because they
were weaknesses, helplessness, despair,
and present to the world only a smile,
an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest." Anais Nin

Deep down where no one ever gets to see is a scared lost soul in need of control and acceptance from "the right" Dominant. Until she finds that, no one can see her, once she does she can remember what the sunshine feels like again.

Wow - that was really good.

 

[Richard49]

Re: submissive, slave, sensualist

Beyond it all, i am a submissive. It is my nature. It is who i was born to be, even though it took me a long time to truly acknowledge it and act on it. i am so grateful to have found a community that allows for this side of me to be expressed, because until that happened, i always had a sense that something was missing but i could not put my finger on it. To me, a slave is someone who is in a total submission to a master and it goes beyond the bedroom. In that definition, i am not a slave, because i am not interested in being someone's foot rest or cleaning their house for them or any of those things. Not that there is anything wrong with that , and god bless every form of turn on for people. But personally, i am into being a sex slave. i love the idea of fulfilling my Master's every sexual wish, i love the idea of servicing him and being the whore he wants at any moment. i love the idea of being at his beck and call and i love the idea of kneeling at his feet. Sensualist? How can one not be in the D/s world. Everything we do is about the senses.

Perhaps I have missed something


but

does this not discribe a sensualist?

When we speak in terms of the "bedroom only"
are we not talking aboout sensualism?

Does not submission require the recieving of pleasure from the mirror act of pleasing another?

These are just questions ..... I am at one of those points in my life
when I have no answers only hunches

(and bad spelling and typing)

 

[Richard49]

Here is my truth;
"There were always in me, two women at least,
one woman desperate and bewildered,
who felt she was drowning and another who
would leap into a scene, as upon a stage,
conceal her true emotions because they
were weaknesses, helplessness, despair,
and present to the world only a smile,
an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest." Anais Nin

Deep down where no one ever gets to see is a scared lost soul in need of control and acceptance from "the right" Dominant. Until she finds that, no one can see her, once she does she can remember what the sunshine feels like again.

kc
I want to thank you for the giving us the trust
to share your truth ..........
I do not know what the right Dom is for you .......
but he will be deeply honored

 

[Richard49]

Re: how do i define these terms

i go along with what most have said is the definition for being a slave or submissive. I put others needs and wants before my own, I go to great lengths to please, and to be of service. In that, i get a great deal of satisfaction. It has always been that way for me.

as for dominant, I cannot even imagine what mind set goes with that. i would never be able to be someone's boss.

You bring up another interesting approach/thought

In serving, if serving is a required part of being a submissive or slave .......... is it out of a reward of pleasure
(One recieves pleasure from serving another)

or

is it satisfaction

or

perhaps both

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Re: Re: submissive, slave, sensualist

Perhaps I have missed something but does this not discribe a sensualist? When we speak in terms of the "bedroom only"
are we not talking aboout sensualism? Does not submission require the recieving of pleasure from the mirror act of pleasing another?These are just questions ..... I am at one of those points in my lifewhen I have no answers only hunches
(and bad spelling and typing)

Richard - are you trying to get at the point that there are no 'real' submissives? Or that most people who consider themselves a submissive might really in fact be a sensualist? Are you searching for that 'real submissive?"

All I know is that this thread has caused me to do an awful lot of deep thinking.