ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[midwestyankee]

I want a chocolate chip Pussy cake.

Then go grab one. I hear that approach is all the rage these days.

 

[Farawyn]

Then go grab one. I hear that approach is all the rage these days.

Ahahaha!

 

[_Necrosomantic_]

Then go grab one. I hear that approach is all the rage these days.

Something we can all agree on

 

[cascadiabound]

It's not about protecting asshats. It's forum rules. Private messages are private. The rules cover everyone regardless of the content of the PM or how much we don't like them. Everyone may know who it is or everyone may not. If your PMs were shared on the board, would you like that? I for one wouldn't want people to know my PM business as I tend to share more intimate details of myself there.

Absolutely right. Rules are for all of our protection, we don't get to decide when to apply them.

I agree with Primalex here. The few rules we have at Lit are largely about privacy and free speech. And, just as with free speech concerns in the public square sometimes, following the rules can feel as if the rules exist only to protect those whom we dislike or detest. That someone is flagrantly awful does not strip them of their right to privacy. Nor does being exceptionally nice strip someone of the obligation to protect others' privacy by following the rules.

I'm with MWY in agreeing with Primalex. Also it does seem some Litsters do get off on being publicly humiliated / getting negative attention better than no attention at all etc.

A math lesson and a review of forum rules. It's a good day in the Cafe.

I will say it wasn't specifically the sender's name. I did know the rules, but in Trump-like fashion, I thought I could skirt around them. I know if someone outed one of my PMs and said this came from c00kie kitty or chocolate chip pussy or even that glittery bitch, it might be clear who it came from.

Lesson learned. Moving along.

Cookie...you were clever in a 45 sort of way. As the President leads...(and herein lies part of the problem in my view). I personally didn't recognize the nic, but probably would if I ran across it in the future. And the math lesson was good too. DS's attempt at age flattery resulting in math lesson made me laugh.

Can we just return to venting on the asshats and be reasonably civil to each other on the board otw? Primalex really did take a very neutral tone in his original post on this topic. He was not wrong to remind us all of the rules. No reason for anyone to get their undies in a twist or tell each other to fuck off.

 

[DarkSimian]

Absolutely right. Rules are for all of our protection, we don't get to decide when to apply them.



I'm with MWY in agreeing with Primalex. Also it does seem some Litsters do get off on being publicly humiliated / getting negative attention better than no attention at all etc.



Cookie...you were clever in a 45 sort of way. As the President leads...(and herein lies part of the problem in my view). I personally didn't recognize the nic, but probably would if I ran across it in the future. And the math lesson was good too. DS's attempt at age flattery resulting in math lesson made me laugh.

Can we just return to venting on the asshats and be reasonably civil to each other on the board otw? Primalex really did take a very neutral tone in his original post on this topic. He was not wrong to remind us all of the rules. No reason for anyone to get their undies in a twist or tell each other to fuck off.

I'm glad I at least made you laugh, Cas

 

[Farawyn]

The best asshat PMS I've gotten have been the mock asshats from my friends. DS is an absolute mock asshat poet, and today's mock asshat from Necro outdid himself.
I think I got a mockasshat from BFG once as well.


Wait. We are allowed to say that, right?
*bites my nails*

I truly haven't gotten an asshat in awhile. I don't really answer many PMs, but I am too nosey to not read.

I appreciate Kim Gordon's thread in How To. Good stuff.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1433554

 

[DarkSimian]

The best asshat PMS I've gotten have been the mock asshats from my friends. DS is an absolute mock asshat poet, and today's mock asshat from Necro outdid himself.
I think I got a mockasshat from BFG once as well.


Wait. We are allowed to say that, right?
*bites my nails*

I truly haven't gotten an asshat in awhile. I don't really answer many PMs, but I am too nosey to not read.

I appreciate Kim Gordon's thread in How To. Good stuff.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1433554

You know, that just encourages me to be a mock asshat. I may need to PM you about it now

 

[Farawyn]

You know, that just encourages me to be a mock asshat. I may need to PM you about it now

Can you send me another cock shot (of a rooster) while you are at it?
Please?
I've saved your others. It helps me sleep at night.

 

[DarkSimian]

Can you send me another cock shot (of a rooster) while you are at it?
Please?
I've saved your others. It helps me sleep at night.

Your wish is my command, dear. *bows*

 

[cascadiabound]

I got a really nice PM this weekend from a Litster I thought was long gone. I was surprised he looked me up tbh. He was as polite as always with no inappropriate anything. Just a simple message about things he remembered I care about.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Geeze louise. I'm sitting in a parking lot waiting to go therapy and I'm getting all riled up from a lit asshats thread. I was just jazzed I got a fucking asshat pm. How lame is that?? (Adds to list of things to discuss in the next hour)

I skirted around a rule. Shouldnta done it.

Enough said.

*hugs*

I want a chocolate chip Pussy cake.

 

[Ldy_Sea]

Not a PM but a post in the forum. It was pretty much an asshat thread. I responded and it got really good.

am staring at you with lust. You catch me following you. I bump into you pressing my big dick on your ass. You moan then run off scared. I watch you from a distance lurking with my lustful eyes. I follow you home without you seeing me. I continue to stalk,bump into you and aggressively grab your tits and twist your nipples a couple at least 3 times a week randomly.I am driving stop right in front of you open the door and tell you " get inside now


The thread can be found here...http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1321168

 

[DarkSimian]

Not a PM but a post in the forum. It was pretty much an asshat thread. I responded and it got really good.

am staring at you with lust. You catch me following you. I bump into you pressing my big dick on your ass. You moan then run off scared. I watch you from a distance lurking with my lustful eyes. I follow you home without you seeing me. I continue to stalk,bump into you and aggressively grab your tits and twist your nipples a couple at least 3 times a week randomly.I am driving stop right in front of you open the door and tell you " get inside now


The thread can be found here...http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1321168

That's not creepy at all

 

[KimGordon67]

I was trying to be flattering, assuming you were only 24

Mission failed

I'm really bad at maths, so all my usual humour was circumvented trying to be sure I had actually gotten the equation right.

 

[DarkSimian]

I'm really bad at maths, so all my usual humour was circumvented trying to be sure I had actually gotten the equation right.

I'm sorry I made you do math

 

[barefootgirl69]

The best asshat PMS I've gotten have been the mock asshats from my friends. DS is an absolute mock asshat poet, and today's mock asshat from Necro outdid himself.
I think I got a mockasshat from BFG once as well.


Wait. We are allowed to say that, right?
*bites my nails*
<snip>

What do you mean 'mock'?
I was SERIOUS!

 

[pensivepoet]

Not a PM but a post in the forum. It was pretty much an asshat thread. I responded and it got really good.

am staring at you with lust. You catch me following you. I bump into you pressing my big dick on your ass. You moan then run off scared. I watch you from a distance lurking with my lustful eyes. I follow you home without you seeing me. I continue to stalk,bump into you and aggressively grab your tits and twist your nipples a couple at least 3 times a week randomly.I am driving stop right in front of you open the door and tell you " get inside now


The thread can be found here...http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1321168

What grade is he in now?

 

[Ldy_Sea]

That's not creepy at all

In my first post, I shoot and kill the OP. The thread ends with the USMC and National Guard at war with the Hells Angels and their fictional sister club Red Tide, after the OP burns to death in a forest fire. Oh and if you click on the picture of my character, make sure you haven't eaten recently.

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm sorry I made you do math

It's OK - it happens all the time. (Also, my age is in my profile, so I was struggling to imagine how you'd think I was 24.)

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm sorry I made you do math

It's OK - it happens all the time. (Also, my age is in my profile, so I was struggling to imagine how you'd think I was 24.)

 

[barefootgirl69]

In my first post, I shoot and kill the OP. The thread ends with the USMC and National Guard at war with the Hells Angels and their fictional sister club Red Tide, after the OP burns to death in a forest fire. Oh and if you click on the picture of my character, make sure you haven't eaten recently.

I fixed this part of your signature. It was driving me crazy.

Too many people forget that there is a person behind the avatar, so here is what I expect when making first contact.

Don't ask for pics, phone, or email. WILL NOT HAPPEN!

Snark is frequently employed when asked questions that are answered in my profile.

Try saying "hi" instead of "wanna fuck?".

Please use the words below properly. If unsure, there are websites to teach you.*

Too, Two, and To
Their, They're, and There
Accept and Except
Your and You're
Don't use text or twitter abbreviations

 

[Eva_Star]

What do you mean 'mock'?
I was SERIOUS!

I sent Far one today. I'm feeling really insecure about it. I don't think asshat comes naturally to me. I did mention her current AND former Av...which I feel should give me bonus points. Oh and I did tell her about my fictional, giant cock.

*bites nails*


I wonder if she'll want to blow me. *fingers crossed*

haha

 

[Farawyn]

I sent Far one today. I'm feeling really insecure about it. I don't think asshat comes naturally to me. I did mention her current AND former Av...which I feel should give me bonus points. Oh and I did tell her about my fictional, giant cock.

*bites nails*


I wonder if she'll want to blow me. *fingers crossed*

haha

Of course I do... but that's because you're YOU!
You spell too well for an asshat.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I sent Far one today. I'm feeling really insecure about it. I don't think asshat comes naturally to me. I did mention her current AND former Av...which I feel should give me bonus points. Oh and I did tell her about my fictional, giant cock.

*bites nails*


I wonder if she'll want to blow me. *fingers crossed*

haha

Of course I do... but that's because you're YOU!
You spell too well for an asshat.

You nuts!

Wait... I didn't get one.
Now I'm feeling insecure.
*wipes tear*

 

[Farawyn]

You nuts!

Wait... I didn't get one.
Now I'm feeling insecure.
*wipes tear*

According to Eva, she's got plenty to go around.