vibes
scarred wanderer
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Can you fall in love with someone online?
- Thread starter SweetSam42
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Mustang_Mama_44
Experienced
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I think when someone falls in love online it is actually developing a crush or infatuation with that person.
JasonGuitar
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I agree. But I think more can develop if you meet and it progresses.
blackhillsbbw
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Never say never…not that you said never, but that's what I'm hearing. Sometimes our hearts harden and then when we least expect it, it sneaks up on us again. We might not 'give over' so much of ourselves again like we did the first time, but I believe it's only a matter of time. As we all know, the heart is an amazing thing and not always do we have control over it.
Just saying...
IIithyia_Glaber
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One can if one is inclined to do so.
~Elizabeth~
Nasty’s little one
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This is a great answer. People have been falling in love via writing letters for a very long time. I've known people that fell in love with pen pals over time, so why couldn't some do so online, in a much more realistic setting, time wise?
SensualGent69
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Happens all the time 
Thesexypen
Really Experienced
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Absolutely, and you shouldn't be ashamed that you did, no matter the reason, circumstances, or conditions.
blackhillsbbw
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Elizabeth_Stark
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SweetSam42
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My question was whether you can fall in love without meeting in real life. I just think you only can know so much about a person via an online-only interaction and, for me, that sort of limited interaction doesn't translate to love.
B
BloodMoonRising
Guest
Exactly. You can certainly strike up a sort of relationship online, but in order for it to blossom into love, you have to meet in person.
HonorableRogue
HR Personified
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Can you fall in love? Yes. Will you stay in love? Possibly.
My personal experience with a variety of online interactions is that when "meeting" someone new people do one of three things:
1) They completely ignore the anonymity and keep their defenses up the same as if they were meeting in real life.
2) They embrace and enjoy the anonymity and actually drop all fears and pretense and are their true inner selves (the one so few people ever get to see in real life).
3) They use the anonymity to construct and portray a fake persona of some degree.
The majority fall into the first group, sadly I think the next most common is the third group and rarely you encounter the second group.
You can fall in love with the first and second group online.
But if you stay remote and separated (no matter what virtual tools you use) it is hard to keep the spark going. I'm not saying it can't be done. The pen pals of old have already been mentioned. But even if you do love someone you really don't know if you like them (or if they like you) until you spend time together.
A long, constant, uninterrupted span of time. The amount of time it takes to learn each others quirks and odious personal habits (I only mention the bad because we all usually quickly see the good stuff and only see the bad when enough time has passed to remove the rose colored glasses) and to see each other at their best and their worst. Because let's face it, love simply isn't enough.
You need to like each other, lust for each other and grow beside and with each other to have a chance at a lasting, loving relationship.
MaryanneB
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I agree with HonorableRogue. It's easy to see someone here as they want you to see them.
Take me. I'm a 75y/o 4'1" 430lb. woman with a mustache! But I sound good don't I?
Even love itself is an illusion. People seem to "fall in love" and expect the angels to sing.
Life just ain't the movies. Hugh Grant movies aren't real........no they aren't!
There always comes the time when one or the other farts, stinks up the bathroom or leaves dirty underwear on the floor. If you get by the reality, you may have a chance.
Take me. I'm a 75y/o 4'1" 430lb. woman with a mustache! But I sound good don't I?
Even love itself is an illusion. People seem to "fall in love" and expect the angels to sing.
Life just ain't the movies. Hugh Grant movies aren't real........no they aren't!
There always comes the time when one or the other farts, stinks up the bathroom or leaves dirty underwear on the floor. If you get by the reality, you may have a chance.
snoopydaddy59
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Explained quite well HR!!!
I think folks can fall in love in an "on-line relationship" but it's for all the wrong reasons because neither person can truly see and get to know each other without that personal interaction that comes from face to face contact. Therefore It's "love" built from a false premise!
SassySheDevil
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So by that. Does that mean that if you are in love online and you take it to the next level and meet, that it suddenly changes to real love?
J
JudasIscariot
Guest
Of course it does.
I can't possibly imagine how all that time spent talking with that beautiful, kind funny brunette can change after she turns out to be a 6ft 300lb guy named Derek. The love can only get stronger surely?
SassySheDevil
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snoopydaddy59
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I don't think it should be "suddenly" that it changes to "real" love but I suspect what would occur is that folks involved will find things to confirm what they are already feeling, be that good or bad, and then either move towards a more realistic majority view of love or away from what they thought they had for love because expectations are being met.
HonorableRogue
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I disagree when you say "it's for all the wrong reasons". I'll agree it could be but you seem to believe it always is. If either party is being intentionally or unintentionally deceptive the love is probably for the wrong reasons. But two honest people, engaging in open and sincere dialog (even via an instant messenger) can get to know each other intellectually and emotionally.
Nope. It just means you've added a physical/chemical aspect to the intellectual/emotional connection you've already built. You've pushed the relationship from theoretical to implemented.
I imagine there's a case where something like this is actually true but clearly this is what I called my third group and is typically destined to go nowhere good.
I agree with this much more than your earlier comment. I object to the "more realistic majority view of love" part. I suggest saying "more traditional expression of love". We've all been in love (hopefully) and we all know it seemed VERY realistic and not that different from any of our friend's love. Eventually we all learn no two loves are the same but almost all of them are "real" (and cause real pain when they end).
Cheers
SweetSam42
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Ok so, let's add another factor here. What makes you think it's actually love? If you feel real pain when you lose someone in an online-only relationship, does that mean you were in love with that person?
Or does my prevailing theory that you can't fall in love online still hold, and you feel pain just because you've lost a close (and sexy) friend?
