Chase or Be Chased?

[SirFace]

Maybe it's age, maybe it's maturity, or maybe it's just that I want different things out of life now, but I don't really want to do or be either. I'm not in the mood for games anymore. That's kid's stuff. In my 20s, sure, I enjoyed both, depended on who and the situation. But after a bad marriage and and even worse divorce, I just want honesty and openness.

I agree totally, but chasing does not necessarily mean "games" It can be as simple as creating a surprise, which can be very erotic. Chasing does not have to infer any dishonesty or dillusion.

 

[SirFace]

That made my head hurt.


Back to the OP..I don't know if saying I like to be chased is the proper term, but I never make the first move. I may do some low key flirting to send the signal that I am approachable, but that is as far as I go. If he isn't confident enough to approach me, then we aren't a match.

Sorry about your head, but to me, that is a very dominant thing, to control a situation without anyone knowing I am controlling it.

 

[FurryFury]

Lucky grrl! Sounds like an absolute keeper to me! Sigh! A toast to good men. ... and even better women

*smiles and drinks to that*

Fury

 

[neonflux]

I agree totally, but chasing does not necessarily mean "games" It can be as simple as creating a surprise, which can be very erotic. Chasing does not have to infer any dishonesty or dillusion.

*nod* Sometimes the dance is just plain fun

 

[Netzach]

I prefer to create the scenario where I am chased. So in reality I am doing the chasing but no one knows it but me.

Bait hunting.

 

[snowy ciara]

You can chase.

You can use hounds.

You can blind hunt.

You can set traps.

You can mimic its prey.

You can blend in with its surroundings.

You can draw it out with bright lights and shiny objects.

You can use a net.

Sticky traps work if it's tiny.

You could drive the whole herd off a cliff, but that's a little extreme.

I see you've thought this out!

 

[BeachGurl2]

I agree totally, but chasing does not necessarily mean "games" It can be as simple as creating a surprise, which can be very erotic. Chasing does not have to infer any dishonesty or dillusion.

I completely agree with what you're saying here, but I took the OP to mean the game playing kind of chase before a relationship begins, where someone plays hard to get to see if the other person sticks around to actually do some chasing. That's what I was referring to in my post. If I have to play hard to get just to get noticed, that's just too much game playing for me. I've never been the chaser, so not sure how I would feel about that one.

 

[saw_man1]

I have chased and I have been chased. The end result is the same though, I get what I want.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

If the right person tries to get close, I get closer.

If the wrong person tries to get close, I deflect, and avoid.

Well this is quite normal, I would think?

 

[IsabellaSnow]

When I think of chasing and being chased, and perhaps this is because I'm coming from the "women's communities" in the main, I think of making the first move or just ensuring that the relationship moves at all, LOL. That said, I do understand what you're saying.

That's what I think too.. someone has to make it...

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I chase, but only continue to chase when the chasing is appreciated by the prey.

Can you teach this to other men?

Please??

 

[IsabellaSnow]

...I like to chase but only if I am encouraged to pursue....


After a while, I feel my pursuit is for naught...and that I have been played the fool for the attention. So, the prey must show interest...in turn a sense of pursuit.

Good point.

I've been told I make them work too hard for it - but I think in those cases it's because I'm not 100% of how much Im digging them.

And when I'm *really* digging someone, I tend to just tell them what I want.

No happy medium for me....

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I prefer to create the scenario where I am chased. So in reality I am doing the chasing but no one knows it but me.

Now that is sexy.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Maybe it's age, maybe it's maturity, or maybe it's just that I want different things out of life now, but I don't really want to do or be either. I'm not in the mood for games anymore. That's kid's stuff. In my 20s, sure, I enjoyed both, depended on who and the situation. But after a bad marriage and and even worse divorce, I just want honesty and openness.

Chasing doesnt have to mean playing games. It just means pursuing what you want. Or are you saying you only pursue someone you already know wants you?

And if so, how do you know?

Who makes the first move?

Someone has to - and thats part of the "chase" in my book.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I agree totally, but chasing does not necessarily mean "games" It can be as simple as creating a surprise, which can be very erotic. Chasing does not have to infer any dishonesty or dillusion.

Ha.. I should have read this before I posted my last reply.

Spot on, SirFace.

Spot on.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

If he isn't confident enough to approach me, then we aren't a match.

This is sooo true and is exactly why I always end up having respect issues with the men I pursue myself - I always end up feeling like they didn't have enough balls.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I completely agree with what you're saying here, but I took the OP to mean the game playing kind of chase before a relationship begins, where someone plays hard to get to see if the other person sticks around to actually do some chasing.

Misinterpretation, I dont play games and this is not what I meant.

I meant it the way most everyone else took it - who makes the first move.

I give very clear signals. If Im interested, he knows. If Im not, he knows that too. I tend to be quite blunt about it.

I do make them work for it in other capacities, particularly when it comes to sex, because I really really dont like wasting time in bed, but Im very straightforward about my interests.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I have chased and I have been chased. The end result is the same though, I get what I want.

Saw man, please post more often, your avatar is lovely.

 

[callinectes]

Sorry about your head, but to me, that is a very dominant thing, to control a situation without anyone knowing I am controlling it.

It is a very dominant thing, I couldn't agree more. It's just that you Doms have a way of making my head hurt..I'm always half a step behind without realizing it.

 

[Kailey_86]

i definately prefer to be chased. The probelm is that i often get chased by guys who i am not even remotely interested in...and they keep running!!!

i do my fair share of the chasing though. My problem is that i quickly lose interest if the person doesn't stop and turn around relatively soon in the chase.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

i do my fair share of the chasing though. My problem is that i quickly lose interest if the person doesn't stop and turn around relatively soon in the chase.

So how soon then?

And how do you chase?

Ask them out on dates? Or just trying to get conversations going, etc?

 

[cati]

When I was younger, much younger. I often did the chasing or sent clear clues that I was interested. The problem usually arouse afterwards, when I wanted the individual to take over the lead and they seldom did. I suppose you could call it being agressive, or just wanting something to happen quickly between myself and the guy I had the hots for. Eventually I grew out of that... for many reasons.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I often did the chasing or sent clear clues that I was interested. The problem usually arouse afterwards, when I wanted the individual to take over the lead and they seldom did.

This is precisely the problem with chasing, for me.

I want the man to lead - and I dont always have the patience to wait for him to make the first move. And when I make it myself, I always end up annoyed with them for not making it themselves, lol.

And its all downhill from there.

 

[SirFace]

It is a very dominant thing, I couldn't agree more. It's just that you Doms have a way of making my head hurt..I'm always half a step behind without realizing it.

I prefer making behinds hurt.

 

[SirFace]

This is precisely the problem with chasing, for me.

I want the man to lead - and I dont always have the patience to wait for him to make the first move. And when I make it myself, I always end up annoyed with them for not making it themselves, lol.

And its all downhill from there.

Wow, does that strike home. I almost lost the best thing in my life because I didnt. Thankfully she gave it one last big effort.