Chase or Be Chased?

[IsabellaSnow]

Wow, does that strike home. I almost lost the best thing in my life because I didnt. Thankfully she gave it one last big effort.

Catch 22 for me.

I like to take what I want.

But lose respect for a man I can just walk up and take.

*sigh*

 

[BeachGurl2]

Chasing doesnt have to mean playing games. It just means pursuing what you want. Or are you saying you only pursue someone you already know wants you?

And if so, how do you know?

Who makes the first move?

Someone has to - and thats part of the "chase" in my book.

I think that our definitions of 'pursuit' and 'chase' seem to be a bit different, which is fine, people have different definitions for most things. Of course someone has to make the first move, otherwise nothing happens. I tend to be more subtle in my pursuit now than I was back then. Or maybe hesitant is a more appropriate term. I'm not really sure how I would define it. Yes, I make my interest known, and if it's not returned, then I let it go and move on. I prefer not to stay where I'm not wanted, no matter how much I may want to be there.

That said, I think that any misunderstanding, whether mine or others, of your meaning is a natural thing because many of your posts seem to contradict others. In the above, the blue text directly contradicts the blue text in the quote below.

Misinterpretation, I dont play games and this is not what I meant.

I meant it the way most everyone else took it - who makes the first move.

I give very clear signals. If Im interested, he knows. If Im not, he knows that too. I tend to be quite blunt about it.

I do make them work for it in other capacities, particularly when it comes to sex, because I really really dont like wasting time in bed, but Im very straightforward about my interests.

You've said those exact words several times throughout not just this thread but in other threads on this board. In fact, you've said something to the effect of 'making them work for the prize'. In my opinion, that smacks of the sort of game playing of which I'm speaking. Maybe if you explained what you mean by making them work for it that wouldn't be construed as game playing, I wouldn't see our definitions as quite so far apart.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

That said, I think that any misunderstanding, whether mine or others, of your meaning is a natural thing because many of your posts seem to contradict others.

Just because I don't elaborate does not mean its a contradiction. It just means there are details you dont have. And that Im comfortable letting you assume anything you like.

In fact, you've said something to the effect of 'making them work for the prize'. In my opinion, that smacks of the sort of game playing of which I'm speaking. Maybe if you explained what you mean by making them work for it that wouldn't be construed as game playing, I wouldn't see our definitions as quite so far apart.

Its not a black and white issue. I suppose you could interpret it as game playing, but since I havent mentioned how I make them work for it - or what exactly I make them work for - anything youd infer would be a guess, at best.

I dont have the patience to pussyfoot around with games or people who do. And I dont waste my time in bed - which means it isnt easy to get into mine. If someone wants an invitation, they need to prove they are worth it - and that they have something fantastic to offer.

And I do mean fantastic.

Ive kicked men out of bed more times than not. If they are not living up to my expectations of what should happen once there, they are moved to the couch and expected to be gone before the sun comes up. Ergo, they need to work for it. They need to prove they have what it takes to get me off before they get a green light.

Notice, while many people are referring only to relationships, I am referring to everything - relationships, one night stands, anything. Anything that involves getting into my knickers.

If this doesn't make sense you to, nothing else I say on the matter will either and its probably best we leave it lie.

 

[BeachGurl2]

Just because I don't elaborate does not mean its a contradiction. It just means there are details you dont have. And that Im comfortable letting you assume anything you like.

Its not a black and white issue. I suppose you could interpret it as game playing, but since I havent mentioned how I make them work for it - or what exactly I make them work for - anything youd infer would be a guess, at best.

If this doesn't make sense you to, nothing else I say on the matter will either and its probably best we leave it lie.

These statements actually prove my point quite well. Because you aren't elaborating, then anyone here can interpret or assume whatever they want. Since that is the way you seem to want the discussion to go, then why are you bothering to point out when someone disagrees with something you've said? Why not just let it lie at that point rather than go into what amounts to a contradictory explanation that still doesn't clear up whatever misunderstanding ensues? Surprisingly enough, I actually do get where you're coming from.

 

[Kailey_86]

So how soon then?

And how do you chase?

Ask them out on dates? Or just trying to get conversations going, etc?

How soon....hmm...it depends on how much work it is taking to chase them and the potential for us to hit it off when i catch them.

i chase by flirting, hinting, getting conversations going, complimenting, lot of different ways.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Beachgurl:

You spend a great deal of time misunderstanding and misinterpreting my posts.

You might want to ask yourself why you have this need to get the last word in - and why you have this need to be right.

Whether or not I choose to correct your misstatements is my perogative.

You dont need to understand.

Let it go.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

How soon....hmm...it depends on how much work it is taking to chase them and the potential for us to hit it off when i catch them.

i chase by flirting, hinting, getting conversations going, complimenting, lot of different ways.

Give us a timeline, sister!

What if you havent caught them in a month, but they are still encouraging you?

Do you keep chasing?

 

[bashfull]

Timeline....there's an excellent point! I appreciate the chase...but how long does one pursue?

And I admit that I like being pursued, as well. Nothing like a beautiful woman showing interest.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Timeline....there's an excellent point! I appreciate the chase...but how long does one pursue?

And I admit that I like being pursued, as well. Nothing like a beautiful woman showing interest.

I think the longest Ive pursued someone was a few months.

We spent a lot of time together, but things just werent falling into place.

And when they finally did, it all fell apart within 24 hrs, lol.

Well, Im laughing now.

Way back when I was 23 it wasnt nearly as funny.

 

[cati]

Some men just haven't got a clue....hehe

 

[bashfull]

I know i usually don't have a clue. Guess I'm kinda dense.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Honey, if *you're* dense, I don't want to know what that makes the men I've had in my life.

Other than past tense.

 

[saw_man1]

Quite frankly you are full of shit. I have spent some time analyzing your offerings and your posts are all over the map.
I have no need to get the last word in and I could not care less how you respond.
Your opinion matters little to me.

Being articulate is no excuse for being rude and inconsiderate.

Beachgurl:

You spend a great deal of time misunderstanding and misinterpreting my posts.

You might want to ask yourself why you have this need to get the last word in - and why you have this need to be right.

Whether or not I choose to correct your misstatements is my perogative.

You dont need to understand.

Let it go.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Quite frankly you are full of shit. I have spent some time analyzing your offerings and your posts are all over the map.
I have no need to get the last word in and I could not care less how you respond.
Your opinion matters little to me.

Being articulate is no excuse for being rude and inconsiderate.

Interesting you feel the need to defend Beachgurl - or grow annoyed when someone says something to her that you dont like.

Does she need it?

Probably not, she's been pretty good about instigating arguments and putting words into my mouth in a (dare I say it?) catty, snarkish little way from the beginning (ie other threads). Which leads me to believe she can defend herself, if she chooses to. How many times did you think I should overlook that?

Full of shit?

Lemme guess.. because I don't fit some cookie cutter profile?

It's amazing to me how many people on this board spend so much time trying to figure out whether or not someone is being consistent. Why do you care?

Do you think these matters are really black and white? Do you get your rules from a textbook?

I've not said a single thing that wasn't true. Things overlap. In my life they do, anyway. If you fit a specific mold, spectacular. I don't. I'm just me.

If that makes me full of shit, it's no wonder my eyes are brown.

 

[saw_man1]

That’s it? That’s how you respond. I expected better.
I wonder who you really are.

Interesting you feel the need to defend Beachgurl - or grow annoyed when someone says something to her that you dont like.

Does she need it?

Probably not, she's been pretty good about instigating arguments and putting words into my mouth in a (dare I say it?) catty, snarkish little way from the beginning (ie other threads). Which leads me to believe she can defend herself, if she chooses to. How many times did you think I should overlook that?

Full of shit?

Lemme guess.. because I don't fit some cookie cutter profile?

It's amazing to me how many people on this board spend so much time trying to figure out whether or not someone is being consistent. Why do you care?

Do you think these matters are really black and white? Do you get your rules from a textbook?

I've not said a single thing that wasn't true. Things overlap. In my life they do, anyway. If you fit a specific mold, spectacular. I don't. I'm just me.

If that makes me full of shit, it's no wonder my eyes are brown.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I expected better.
I wonder who you really are.

If you expected an argument, you're not going to get one on a chatboard.

I don't enjoy public scenes, which is why I spent so much time trying to extricate myself from "discussions" with her and others who felt the need to over analyze my other posts/threads.

 

[saw_man1]

Ps

By the way

I do not know Beachgurl
I have never spoken to her

My statements are my own.

Interesting you feel the need to defend Beachgurl - or grow annoyed when someone says something to her that you dont like.

Does she need it?

Probably not, she's been pretty good about instigating arguments and putting words into my mouth in a (dare I say it?) catty, snarkish little way from the beginning (ie other threads). Which leads me to believe she can defend herself, if she chooses to. How many times did you think I should overlook that?

Full of shit?

Lemme guess.. because I don't fit some cookie cutter profile?

It's amazing to me how many people on this board spend so much time trying to figure out whether or not someone is being consistent. Why do you care?

Do you think these matters are really black and white? Do you get your rules from a textbook?

I've not said a single thing that wasn't true. Things overlap. In my life they do, anyway. If you fit a specific mold, spectacular. I don't. I'm just me.

If that makes me full of shit, it's no wonder my eyes are brown.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I do not know Beachgurl
.

I did not think you did.

 

[angelsrose]

The problem with me chasing a man is that I grow bored quickly if he doesn't respond, and if he responds after I have grown bored we enter into a friendship dynamic, in which I cannot ever pursue a romantic interest in him again. But if he responds, I get bored because often he likes me too much.

Then if he is chasing me and shows me that he likes me *too* much, once again I grow bored and disinterested. ( I think it might be because I seem to/or appear to have control in this instance.)

I don't know how I stayed in some of the relationships I had for as long as I did. I don't know what that magic spark was that kept us together. It could have been the combination of D/s (which I didn't identify with at the time) mixed with the "mundane" that let it flow for as long as it did. However neither of those relationships that I speaking of worked out....

Yet again, if you chase me and then stop, and let me make a tiny step in a direction, then pursue me again... I need you to keep it thrilling for me, and have me guessing. I guess in short I still like some games. Not all, mind you, but a few. I think in all of this I want to not be in control. I want to "think" that your like in me is fleeting and I get to be blindsided by the things I "get" to do to keep you interested in me.

I know I am a hard nut to crack, and I sometimes wonder if I will ever find that one who will fight just enough for me to fight for him in my life. Does that make sense? Or am I blathering on like an idiot?

Yet it can't be ALL games, because I do get bored jumping through hoops like a poodle in a circus. I am not silly enough to fall for someone who is a "player" in the sense of the word he is dating many, because I do desire to be the one... And most men that identify with that word often falling for me. And get hurt, because they show all their cards too quickly.

I guess the long and short of it is, I want to feel like you love me, with just enough room.

 

[bashfull]

The problem with me chasing a man is that I grow bored quickly if he doesn't respond, and if he responds after I have grown bored we enter into a friendship dynamic, in which I cannot ever pursue a romantic interest in him again. But if he responds, I get bored because often he likes me too much.

Then if he is chasing me and shows me that he likes me *too* much, once again I grow bored and disinterested. ( I think it might be because I seem to/or appear to have control in this instance.)

I don't know how I stayed in some of the relationships I had for as long as I did. I don't know what that magic spark was that kept us together. It could have been the combination of D/s (which I didn't identify with at the time) mixed with the "mundane" that let it flow for as long as it did. However neither of those relationships that I speaking of worked out....

Yet again, if you chase me and then stop, and let me make a tiny step in a direction, then pursue me again... I need you to keep it thrilling for me, and have me guessing. I guess in short I still like some games. Not all, mind you, but a few. I think in all of this I want to not be in control. I want to "think" that your like in me is fleeting and I get to be blindsided by the things I "get" to do to keep you interested in me.

I know I am a hard nut to crack, and I sometimes wonder if I will ever find that one who will fight just enough for me to fight for him in my life. Does that make sense? Or am I blathering on like an idiot?

Yet it can't be ALL games, because I do get bored jumping through hoops like a poodle in a circus. I am not silly enough to fall for someone who is a "player" in the sense of the word he is dating many, because I do desire to be the one... And most men that identify with that word often falling for me. And get hurt, because they show all their cards too quickly.

I guess the long and short of it is, I want to feel like you love me, with just enough room.

And ya'll wonder why we men are confused?

 

[angelsrose]

And ya'll wonder why we men are confused?

Bashful, the thing is .....
once I am yours, I make it easy for you to want to stay. I am a pretty mellow girlfriend in the end, no drama low maintaince fees, little baggage, excpet for the stuff that I am working on presently.

And I have such a desire to give someoen all of me that it seems impossible.

 

[bashfull]

Bashful, the thing is .....
once I am yours, I make it easy for you to want to stay. I am a pretty mellow girlfriend in the end, no drama low maintaince fees, little baggage, excpet for the stuff that I am working on presently.

And I have such a desire to give someoen all of me that it seems impossible.

Sounds like quite a catch, darlin'. Just kinda scratching my head over your previous post, though. Would appear that once you are someone's, you grow tired of 'em. Sounds like my recent "relationship" on here. lol.

 

[angelsrose]

Sounds like quite a catch, darlin'. Just kinda scratching my head over your previous post, though. Would appear that once you are someone's, you grow tired of 'em. Sounds like my recent "relationship" on here. lol.

Not always but sometimes. And I know that doesn't help clarify it any better. I sometimes wonder if there is a part of me that is broken to the point of not being capable of falling in love again. Even though it it something that I want, and I am not sure if it is fear that holds me back from riding out the storm. So to speak. So like currently, when I start to secound guess things I just let those ideas go, and then he does something little and I am back again at the place of this is right, at least for right now. I am searching for my "MR Forever" because one day I would like to have kids and stuff, but I don't think I'll realize who he is until I work on teh fears that I have surrounding relatioships. Which is why the thing I am in now, is currently uncatagorized, and he lets the issue lie. Even though he does want some defination. I can't break up with him if he's not my SO, and he can't break up with me if I am not his SO. But that doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt anymore or less if either one of us left whatever this thing is that we have. LIke I said in before, I am currently working on some issues at hand and hopefully they will get resolved.

I think mainly it is just that I want you to love me enough, that I may have room and still be me, and that that there is a space for me to love you completely. I know that when I fall in love I am in a sense giving you wonership of me, with/or without a collar. And you have to be able to handle that responsibility. Because it is a big one.

I think in general, and I don't want to speak for others, for me I need to love you more then you love me. I think that in every relationship while love is present, one person loves more then the other. Yet at the same time know, that no matter what you don't want to leave.

Does this make a little bit more sense?

 

[bashfull]

Not always but sometimes. And I know that doesn't help clarify it any better. I sometimes wonder if there is a part of me that is broken to the point of not being capable of falling in love again. Even though it it something that I want, and I am not sure if it is fear that holds me back from riding out the storm. So to speak. So like currently, when I start to secound guess things I just let those ideas go, and then he does something little and I am back again at the place of this is right, at least for right now. I am searching for my "MR Forever" because one day I would like to have kids and stuff, but I don't think I'll realize who he is until I work on teh fears that I have surrounding relatioships. Which is why the thing I am in now, is currently uncatagorized, and he lets the issue lie. Even though he does want some defination. I can't break up with him if he's not my SO, and he can't break up with me if I am not his SO. But that doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt anymore or less if either one of us left whatever this thing is that we have. LIke I said in before, I am currently working on some issues at hand and hopefully they will get resolved.

I think mainly it is just that I want you to love me enough, that I may have room and still be me, and that that there is a space for me to love you completely. I know that when I fall in love I am in a sense giving you wonership of me, with/or without a collar. And you have to be able to handle that responsibility. Because it is a big one.

I think in general, and I don't want to speak for others, for me I need to love you more then you love me. I think that in every relationship while love is present, one person loves more then the other. Yet at the same time know, that no matter what you don't want to leave.

Does this make a little bit more sense?

Somewhat...actually, lengthly discussions along these lines on https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=122174

 

[Netzach]

And ya'll wonder why we men are confused?

Yuh huh.

This is why I like women and wind up with men.

And this is also why, when it comes to men, more for me. I don't lose respect for someone who's really clearly into me, just someone who's an idiot. I also think that in every relationship someone's kind of an asshole and someone's kind of a good guy. I'm the asshole and there's only room for one.