Companion to the Five in Five

[Sara Crewe]

..., but it's still exhausting work. I'm sure Sara (even though she's in Canada) and other teachers here can attest to this.

Marking is really the third ring of hell and the main reason Sara is not around Lit in the winter.


It takes me at least 20 minutes per paper x 100 papers every time they submit something.


So many teachers cut that marking time down by making their assessments largely composed of true/false and multiple choice. But man, how can you evaluate someone's ability to read and write without getting them to read and write?


You can't. So, my guys write a lot and I have no life.

 

[Eluard]

I could fillibuster on my opinions about the lousy state of writing education in America. I think it's better than when I was in school; there's more emphasis now on daily writing and portfolio assessment, as opposed to grammar drills and mechanics exercises. But it's still as good as the person who teaches it, and most people I've known who taught writing either weren't that good themselves or didn't have enough time to assign lots of writing because it takes so long to give feedback well. When I taught seventh grade, I generally had between 30 and 40 kids in my classroom times four classes per day (plus homeroom and study hall or whatever assignment they gave me). You know how long it takes to grade and give feedback on 120-160 papers? I tried to get around it by having kids correct each other's writing (guided by me) during class, but it's still exhausting work. I'm sure Sara (even though she's in Canada) and other teachers here can attest to this.

The last time I taught writing to school-aged kids was about a year ago. Not much had changed. Still hard to find time to get them to write as much as they need to get good at it, and now there's video games and cell phones and computers (besides tv) competing for their attention.

When my children were young and I took them to play at friends' houses, I was often dismayed to see that there were few, if any, books in others' homes (I tried to steer them to more literate families, but kids don't always make great choices in pals). We don't seem to value reading much anymore, at least not in America. And I can quote research with very large samples showing that there's a significant relationship between number of books in the home, whether the family gets a daily newspaper, whether they use libraries and so on and performance in all academic areas.

Sad but true. And the first thing I do whenever I get new word processing is disable the grammar checker. They're all awful as far as I can see!

Yup, high school teaching is a tough, tough job — and not one that I'd be able to do. (And I actually trained to do it at one stage!)

 

[Angeline]

Marking is really the third ring of hell and the main reason Sara is not around Lit in the winter.


It takes me at least 20 minutes per paper x 100 papers every time they submit something.


So many teachers cut that marking time down by making their assessments largely composed of true/false and multiple choice. But man, how can you evaluate someone's ability to read and write without getting them to read and write?


You can't. So, my guys write a lot and I have no life.

I'm grateful for every moment you are here. And that you spend the time on grading essays. I worked for a statewide literacy assessment program for a while where they wanted to use a 20-minute, first-draft writing sample to evaluate the effectiveness of school writing programs. Can you imagine? Kids need lots of writing time and they have to learn how to edit their writing. That's why I like portfolio assessment better to measure performance even though it's a lot of work.

Yup, high school teaching is a tough, tough job — and not one that I'd be able to do. (And I actually trained to do it at one stage!)

I loved working with kids, but the administrators would drive me nuts. Once I was teaching drama, we were reading Arsenic and Old Lace and I was taking them to the auditorium so they could get a sense of staging and read on stage. They loved it. The principal told me we made too much noise. Twelve-years-olds can be noisy when they're learning.

 

[Eluard]

And...

I think what bothers me when I see someone writing in passive voice throughout a poem seemingly without reason in terms of a connection to the subject matter, is that it feels manipulative and inauthentic. People resort to passive voice often when they are desperate to end a line on a particular word. If that construction isn't smooth and seamless, I think it looks like a cheap magic trick.

"Sure nobody would ever choose to say these words in this particular order and there are million easier ways to write them but don't pay attention to that---just look at this beautiful word I managed to put at the end of this line.


You know what I need El. I need you to show me an amazing poem written in a passive voice. You do that and I'll shut up. Or there's duct tape over there in the corner. That will work too.

I'll cheat here and point to Tz's original poem — and then since you've lost by default (you've already said you like it) I'll just suggest that you duct tape yourself up and await your punishment.

Which will be severe!

 

[Sara Crewe]

I'll cheat here and point to Tz's original poem — and then since you've lost by default (you've already said you like it) I'll just suggest that you duct tape yourself up and await your punishment.

Which will be severe!

That was totally cheating.


Duct tape myself? Are you under the impression that I would have the kind of integrity that would make me do a good job of taping my own mouth shut? Really not a good idea to trust me with that one.


I swear, lightening bolts pierced the ceiling and thunder shook the house when I read the word severe. I'll let you guess whether I ran to hide under the bed or remain sitting here waiting for said delivery.

 

[Sara Crewe]

I'm grateful for every moment you are here. And that you spend the time on grading essays.

Thanks, Ange. Really, what probably needs to happen is a shift in my course load. Teaching all English courses makes for a pretty heavy marking load.

 

[normal jean]

Are you entirely sure you want to establish a "suck jar" for me?

I mean, think about it.


I am all over that idea myself. I am just kinda looking out for your, ahem, reputation. Or looking for it. I think it might be lost.

Laste year, I had to come to a similar type "deal"with Pat C.Only my word that needed a jar was crap. Looking back on that year, I believe I quit referring to my stuff as crap, lol.

But that jar would certainly be overflowing, I assure you

 

[normal jean]

oops. wrong thread

 

[Tzara]

Y'know I love you both like the brother and sister I never had (you can fight over who is who), but the sceptic in me, not to mention the hardened empiricist, wants to know: where are the statistical studies on this, how large was the sample size, how many examples of sentences in the passive voice were presented, and what were the verbal responses to said sentences by this phantom collection of sentence- appreciators (*Munch scream face "I feel so…so… distant all of a sudden"). I mean come on — don't these kinds of generalisations stir the sceptic in you too? Just a teensy bit?

I hope I get to be the brother.

Writing is not, or perhaps I should say art is not subject to statistics. I doubt you want an aesthetic where The Da Vinci Code ranks way higher than Ulysses, or even The Postman Always Rings Twice. That, of course, depends on the definition of your population, but still.

Is passive voice always wrong? Of course not. Is it, more or less generally, not as strong as active voice? Well, yeah. I think so, any way.

Look at these two (artificially constructed, granted) examples:

• I cut her heart.
• Her heart was cut by me.

Active verbs are always more involving. Now, the writer may not want a sentence or line to be involving. Distance may be the intended effect--in which case passive voice may be the ideal way of phrasing something. But the author ought to think about it.

Which is the point. I think.

 

[Eluard]

nickdelight — you had a terrific run in the 5/5. I think I liked 3 and 4 the best: simple but very effective love poems, taken, in the case of 4, from an unusual angle in which the reader doesn't know where the surprise will come, but knows that it will come.

I hope you stick around, and while you're here, get distracted by the lovelies at bijou's bistro-bar-n-grill. If you manage to keep your clothes it will be a first.

El.

 

[nickdelight]

nickdelight — you had a terrific run in the 5/5. I think I liked 3 and 4 the best: simple but very effective love poems, taken, in the case of 4, from an unusual angle in which the reader doesn't know where the surprise will come, but knows that it will come.

I hope you stick around, and while you're here, get distracted by the lovelies at bijou's bistro-bar-n-grill. If you manage to keep your clothes it will be a first.

El.

Thanks Eluard

I quite like the challenge it took me out of my comfort zone and was a good excuse to try different styles.

You mean people can actually wear clothes around the bistro? I thought nudity was a matter of form not convention. I'll definitely be hanging around here though people of a poetic mindset have the most interesting conversations.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Thanks Eluard

I quite like the challenge it took me out of my comfort zone and was a good excuse to try different styles.

You mean people can actually wear clothes around the bistro? I thought nudity was a matter of form not convention. I'll definitely be hanging around here though people of a poetic mindset have the most interesting conversations.

The bistro is designed for complete comfort. There are those who are happier naked, and they are welcome. There are also those who are most comfortable and contented wearing expensive ties and tailored suits, and they are also welcome. There are no rules at the bistro except one, and it is scrawled in fuschia lipstick on the bar mirror: Be KIND.

You are most, most welcome there.

Your 5 in 5 was most excellent. Welcome, and thanks to El for the free ad space.


bj

 

[Eluard]

Welcome, and thanks to El for the free ad space.


bj

Yeah, I really think there should be a jingle. Maybe that should be a challenge over there.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Tz, your latest few have been stellar with one exception. That #33 of yours elicited some rather round and vivid profanity over here since I wasn't ready with my #30 yet and that's a lot of mthrfckn pressure to put on me...

The Fool had arrived at the shop by then and got to listen to me curse and sweat and grouse about my last piece.

And I'm loving your numbering system, by the way.

Congrats on the E. I feel extra cool talking to you now.

bj

 

[Tzara]

The decimal expansion of Now

For Constance

I offer you Anhydrous Heliotrope and you
counter by insisting that
no child should be named that
or Algonquin....

*Sigh* Yet another person cajoled into a challenge by that combinatorial fiend Tzara.

Do not be telling me you wrote that in fifteen minutes, mister.

Please?

Nice, actually. Bastard.

 

[Eluard]

Do not be telling me you wrote that in fifteen minutes, mister.

Please?

Nice, actually. Bastard.

No, you are right — I didn't write it in fifteen minutes. But I did finish it in those fifteen minutes.

Thanks.

 

[Homburg]

Most of what I write takes me slightly longer than the time it takes to write it down, then scan back at it to make sure it sounds like what I want it to sound like. I've rarely taken fifteen minutes to write any short piece.

It probably shows

 

[Tzara]

Most of what I write takes me slightly longer than the time it takes to write it down, then scan back at it to make sure it sounds like what I want it to sound like. I've rarely taken fifteen minutes to write any short piece.

It probably shows

There is no necessary connection between speed and quality. Sometimes you just write it out and you're pretty much done. Other times, it can be a hell of a lot of work.

Not that it's particularly good, but this one pretty much came to me as is. I dreamt this, words mostly included, woke up and wrote it down. Fussed with it a little afterwards, but not much.

But in general, I think writing is kind of like golf. You might play pretty well with no training whatsoever, but if you want to get really good it takes practice and study or competent instruction.

 

[Sara Crewe]

El, I agree with Tz--that was an excellent poem.


So, T? What form of hypnosis or arm-twisitng you using to get all these people to commit to challenges? I heard a rumour that you had black an white pics of a naked El on your hard drive and were using them to blackmail him.

 

[Tzara]

So, T? What form of hypnosis or arm-twisitng you using to get all these people to commit to challenges? I heard a rumour that you had black an white pics of a naked El on your hard drive and were using them to blackmail him.

I was going to say it was the dominating force of my personality, but I think Homburg has that title sewn (oops, tied) up.

It's probably that my wheedling is so irritating that people find it simpler to write a few poems just to get me to quiet down for awhile.

 

[Sara Crewe]

It's probably that my wheedling is so irritating that people find it simpler to write a few poems just to get me to quiet down for awhile.

You have a distorted view of reality. Must be due to lack of sunlight. You should take some vitamin D or something.

 

[Tzara]

You have a distorted view of reality. Must be due to lack of sunlight. You should take some vitamin D or something.

My doctor said I needed a blood supplement.

 

[Sara Crewe]

My doctor said I needed a blood supplement.

Shaved the beard for that pic huh?

 

[Tzara]

Shaved the beard for that pic huh?

It's just trimmed really, really close.

 

[Sara Crewe]

It's just trimmed really, really close.

Very stylish.


You might want to ease up on the sun screen now and then.