autumn_moon
Really Experienced
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Bandit58 said:
In the end, all pain stops when we die.
How do you help someone get over being abused
- Thread starter Gil_T2
- Start date
In the end, all pain stops when we die.
Noor
Citizen of the World
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autumn_moon said:
So does all happiness, all friendship, all love.
Suicide hurts everyone whose life was touch by that person and expands throughout the survivor's lives and relationships. You may not think you are much of a loss but believe me, there will be people who will be very badly hurt, possibly destroyed if you end your life, parents, siblings, family, extended family, and freinds. there are children and pets who will never understand where you have gone or why you choose to leave them this way.
There is also the whole future of people you have yet to meet, maybe even children you have yet to have that will never know you, that will never see your humor, your smile, the love that you would bring into their lives.
If things are that bad, get out, run away, get in your car and drive to a place you enjoy, if the alternative for you is death then you are basically free to do anything.
Don't continue to feel this way, call a counselor, a shelter, someone and start getting out of this mess today. Most counties in the US have a first call for help number, find it and call it.
Noor
Bandit58
Sir's wonder woman
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To autumn moon: 
I'm reposting the link I posted at the beginning of this thread:
www.rainn.org
It will link you to rape crisis hotlines anywhere in the US. Please call and get some help hon......
I'm reposting the link I posted at the beginning of this thread:
www.rainn.org
It will link you to rape crisis hotlines anywhere in the US. Please call and get some help hon......
Don K Dyck
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autumn_moon said:
HI autumn moon . . . Noor and bandit give real good advice . . .
Have you heard the old joke about the definition of insanity? THe definition of insanity is doing the same thing everytime and getting the same result. It is time for a change, and that happens when you screw up your courage in both hands and break out of your chains by doing something radically different as Noor and Bandit suggest.
Most of us on this thread have at some time or other been in the deep posthole of depression caused by our life circumstances. Once I acknowledged that I had a problem I was able to recognise that I needed a workable solution because life was passing me by and I was missing out on a lot of fun because of it.
Often we have constructed our lifes into something that has got out of control. At those times the sensible option is to seek professional assistance or help from a trusted family member or close friend. If there is danger of physical or mental violence then there is only one option . . . remove yourself and any kids out of that scenario, and don't go back!!
THe future is always brighter when you face the rising sun.
Gil_T2
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autumn_moon said:
AUTUMN MOON..... The first step towards ending the hurt is removing yourself from it.... then the rest of the healing is much easier, I/we all know what it's like & even though each of us have had it to different degrees it's basically the same & the first move will feel even worse but it will be the best move to rebuilding the real you mthere have been offers from others on here who have been there & now have a brighter life.
Take their offers & I'm sure life will in time be much brighter.
shadow_dreamer
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Originally posted by Gil_T2
Hi WW & SD & of course Bandit I've been without my puta for a while but nice to see you keeping this thread open & hope all is well with you.
SD.. i know you find it difficult to cope with the RESTING but it is the best thing for you & I'm sure you can adapt to the changes to your life little pleasures.
Thanks Gil and Wicked...adapting to new lifestyle so to speak and finding myself really taking it easy and resting (sleeping). I get reprieve (or as I tell my SO - paroled, hehehe) occasionally when he takes me out to dinner or just for a nice cruise around.
Got an increase in the morphine and boy does it do a number...trying not to take it unless necessary but docs seem to not understand "take only when in extreme pain" and they expect me to take it every 4 hours...NO WAY! Anyway, it's rainy here in Hawaii and Autumn has arrived (our Autumn isn't llike the rest of the USA) and it's a welcome change (although my back aches more).
Ah the time has arrived for your visitor...have funnnnnnnn
Wishing everyone a great weekend and lots of safe fun!
shadow_dreamer
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Originally posted by Don K Dyck
Hi Autumn Moon . . . the answer is definitely "Yes"!
The first necessary step is for you to want the pain to stop. Then you progress through a number of identifiable stages when you will hate the bastard (quite normal) but the real progress comes when you summon up all your courage and forgive the bastard. Then you are free!! And life moves on to the next beautiful opportunity.
Don's right...we all have the courage deep down inside...forgiving is difficult and confusing because the hatred is strong but in time you will find it in your heart to forgive. As for forgetting that will take time. As Don said life moves on and with it comes a new and brighter future.
shadow_dreamer
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Yes it does...it takes time, patience and the willingness to open up and talk/share your thoughts and feelings wth someone close to you. Also you will discover you will be able to trust again.
We've all been through what you're going through and know how you're feeling. The pain subsides as time goes on and you will see the beauty life has to offer.
Thanks to the wonderful ppl whom I consider my friends (or actualy family as we do in Hawaii) and my SO I've been able to go through the process of healing and learning to trust and love again.
If you want you can e-mail me at:
shadow_dreamer@literotica.com
autumn_moon
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It won't let me delete the message without me putting something here.
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autumn_moon
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Calmer
I've decided what I need to do.
I've decided what I need to do.
BrownEyes26
Literotica Guru
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Yes, as much as it seems like the pain will never stop, it does, Autumn Moon.
I am reading a good book now named "The Obsidian Mirror" by Louise M. Wisechild about child sexual abuse and healing as an adult.
I hope you get some help..and hugs for your journey..
BE26
I am reading a good book now named "The Obsidian Mirror" by Louise M. Wisechild about child sexual abuse and healing as an adult.
I hope you get some help..and hugs for your journey..
BE26
Gil_T2
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VermilionSkye said:
This thread wan't as a good idea but out of desperation to help a lady here on LIT who was at rock bottom & I'm pleased to say she is one confident lady now & has moved from her Sthn small town to outer NY area & a whole new life.The sad part is she dosen't get to use the net often so I still worry about my friend even though I know she isn't the same lady I first met.
AUTUMN MOON read back through the thread , it will take some time but just see how the possitive has come with many of the people here who have had a horrid time, I know your hurting but you do have ALL us here who want to help & support you through it.
Death is not the answer for anything just ask anyone who has tried to end it.
autumn_moon
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removed for personal reasons
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autumn_moon
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I'm in a perpetual state of confusion. I don't know whether I'm coming or going any more. You all have made offers of help and hope. And, for a bit, I feel like there really is hope and a reason to fight. Then the darkness returns and I think it gets worse each time. I think it's time for me to leave, for a little while at least. Thank you all for offers.
wicked woman
from my travels
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Impressed you came up for air to bump this hehe Hope everyone has a great time at the Aussie GT
shadow_dreamer
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a paradise wiggle and a jiggle and a bump, hehehe from Hawaii.
Gil_T2
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shadow_dreamer said:a paradise wiggle and a jiggle and a bump, hehehe from Hawaii.
ALOHA SD from DOWNUNDER & thankyou for the wiggle & jiggle to the thread.
HOT NEWS STRAIGHT OF THE FAX.......GIL & BANDIT are a couple in R/L now....& I'm one very happy man.
Gil & Bandit
AvaAdore
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i started reading all the posts, but got up to about page 10 and i just cant anymore (it's getting late).
my boyfriend was sexually abused by his older brother (3 year difference) from when he was 8 until almost 19 (he's 20 now, so it's still recent history). he told me shortly after we got together. it was not physically forced. his brother was very, very manipulative and convinced him that it was normal (no evidence that the brother was abused, but you never know). the first time, he tried to fuck his ass but wound up tearing his foreskin. he got really pissed off and beat him up. my bf thought he had done something wrong. he kept asking for it because he felt the need to be abused. he hated it. it was self-abuse on his part. he only realized it wasnt normal when he was 11 or 12. the last time, while it was happening he suddenly realized that he could just say no. he said precisely that and it was over. it took 11 years. his brother still makes passes at him when they are alone. they dont see each other much since they live in different cities. i am the only one who knows. a few friends know he has been abused by someone at some point, but that's it.
on top of that, he was always small for his age as a child and consequently got beat up at school lots. his parents were good parents, but when he was 11 his father suddenly decided that he wanted to be a woman, and things deteriorated from there. his mother is very lovely. she's very stressed out because she's trying to get a divorce (they have been separated and living in different cities for a few years now), but the father refuses to sign the papers and is always threatening to kill himself. he actually seriously tried to kill himself a few months, but survived somehow. to make a long story short, if she knew about my bf and his brother it would be too much for her.
we met about a year after the abuse ended. we became quite good friends before getting together. he never really had any good friends all his life, and was very lonely at the time we met.
it definately affects our relationship, and because of it he is still very much damaged. he has very seriously problems with self-esteem and self-confidence. we have trust issues. he trusts me with his life, but he did something early on in our relationship that really fucked up my ability to trust him. we were fooling around, and i knew he really wanted to have sex, but didnt want to yet. he said he wouldnt enter me, and just as i relaxed and started to trust him, he entered me. after a few thrusts he realized what he did. i was very upset. i felt shattered. he felt terrible. another time a few months ago, we were having anal sex and we had a safe word. i really wasnt enjoying it and i said the word but he just kept going until he orgasmed (only another minute). he is very remorseful about it now. at the time he said it was one of his biggest fantasies to take me entirely against my will. i dont mind that, but i think before doing that sort of thing the person on the receiving should actually know about it beforehand. i couldnt believe that he actually did it, i was in total disbelief at the time. what really makes me angry though is he spoiled it for me. we are both into bdsm and i want to be submissive to him. i am just not comfortable enough with it ever since he didnt acknowldge the safe word. he says it will never happen again, but how am i supposed to know? the trust has to be built up again. again.
we had a long talk today. i realized that it still bothered me a lot, and lately i have felt less and less comfortable with being sexual with him. so we talked. i told him exactly how i felt. we talked more, and he said that in the relationship with me he has learned so much about himself. a lot of negative things that he didnt even realize. he apoligized profusely for his actions. the relationship is very hard work, but things are changing. he needs help, and so does our relationship. at this point i'm not really sure where to go or what to do. we always talk about things. it probably doesnt seem like it from this post, but our relationship is not bad. i think if we werent friends it would have fallen apart long ago. he means the world to me and i the same to him, probably even more so. i love him very much. he cares about me and loves me very much too and is always complementing me and stuff.
i'm getting pretty tired, so the second half of this post is pretty jumbled i think. i have more to say, but i think i'll continue tomorrow
we actually came to some resolution today, which is good. we both feel a lot better about things. the air is cleared. things will change for the better. i think i'm going to fall asleep in my chair now
my boyfriend was sexually abused by his older brother (3 year difference) from when he was 8 until almost 19 (he's 20 now, so it's still recent history). he told me shortly after we got together. it was not physically forced. his brother was very, very manipulative and convinced him that it was normal (no evidence that the brother was abused, but you never know). the first time, he tried to fuck his ass but wound up tearing his foreskin. he got really pissed off and beat him up. my bf thought he had done something wrong. he kept asking for it because he felt the need to be abused. he hated it. it was self-abuse on his part. he only realized it wasnt normal when he was 11 or 12. the last time, while it was happening he suddenly realized that he could just say no. he said precisely that and it was over. it took 11 years. his brother still makes passes at him when they are alone. they dont see each other much since they live in different cities. i am the only one who knows. a few friends know he has been abused by someone at some point, but that's it.
on top of that, he was always small for his age as a child and consequently got beat up at school lots. his parents were good parents, but when he was 11 his father suddenly decided that he wanted to be a woman, and things deteriorated from there. his mother is very lovely. she's very stressed out because she's trying to get a divorce (they have been separated and living in different cities for a few years now), but the father refuses to sign the papers and is always threatening to kill himself. he actually seriously tried to kill himself a few months, but survived somehow. to make a long story short, if she knew about my bf and his brother it would be too much for her.
we met about a year after the abuse ended. we became quite good friends before getting together. he never really had any good friends all his life, and was very lonely at the time we met.
it definately affects our relationship, and because of it he is still very much damaged. he has very seriously problems with self-esteem and self-confidence. we have trust issues. he trusts me with his life, but he did something early on in our relationship that really fucked up my ability to trust him. we were fooling around, and i knew he really wanted to have sex, but didnt want to yet. he said he wouldnt enter me, and just as i relaxed and started to trust him, he entered me. after a few thrusts he realized what he did. i was very upset. i felt shattered. he felt terrible. another time a few months ago, we were having anal sex and we had a safe word. i really wasnt enjoying it and i said the word but he just kept going until he orgasmed (only another minute). he is very remorseful about it now. at the time he said it was one of his biggest fantasies to take me entirely against my will. i dont mind that, but i think before doing that sort of thing the person on the receiving should actually know about it beforehand. i couldnt believe that he actually did it, i was in total disbelief at the time. what really makes me angry though is he spoiled it for me. we are both into bdsm and i want to be submissive to him. i am just not comfortable enough with it ever since he didnt acknowldge the safe word. he says it will never happen again, but how am i supposed to know? the trust has to be built up again. again.
we had a long talk today. i realized that it still bothered me a lot, and lately i have felt less and less comfortable with being sexual with him. so we talked. i told him exactly how i felt. we talked more, and he said that in the relationship with me he has learned so much about himself. a lot of negative things that he didnt even realize. he apoligized profusely for his actions. the relationship is very hard work, but things are changing. he needs help, and so does our relationship. at this point i'm not really sure where to go or what to do. we always talk about things. it probably doesnt seem like it from this post, but our relationship is not bad. i think if we werent friends it would have fallen apart long ago. he means the world to me and i the same to him, probably even more so. i love him very much. he cares about me and loves me very much too and is always complementing me and stuff.
i'm getting pretty tired, so the second half of this post is pretty jumbled i think. i have more to say, but i think i'll continue tomorrow
we actually came to some resolution today, which is good. we both feel a lot better about things. the air is cleared. things will change for the better. i think i'm going to fall asleep in my chair now
wicked woman
from my travels
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Originally posted by Gil_T2
ALOHA SD from DOWNUNDER & thankyou for the wiggle & jiggle to the thread.
HOT NEWS STRAIGHT OF THE FAX.......GIL & BANDIT are a couple in R/L now....& I'm one very happy man.
Gil & Bandit
Woo hoo! So happy for you both. *like I'm surprised hehe*
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