How to compliment a woman

[KrazyWhiteBoy]

Doggystyle! Love it


The OP's inquiry seems to imply that all or even most women are the same, however, nothing can be further from the truth when it comes to this subject.

You could pay the same polite compliment to four different women, and the first might smile and enjoy it. The second might think it's creepy and call her therapist. The next might just go straight for her pepper spray, while the fourth might become your future wife. You just never really know.

The reasons for this go far beyond the fact that she is a woman. Nor would it be any different for men. Their age as well as age difference between you, how she was raised or where or by whom, her ethnicity, relationships, job etc, etc, etc. An endless list of possibilities that could change her response to a compliment. Just from the responses so far in this thread, you can see a wide range of diversity with women.

Humans are very visual creatures, and as such, the response to your compliments will be in large part decided before you even start to speak. There is a certain level of shallowness in all of us. Simply stated, the less attractive we find another, the more repelled we are by their presence. Sad, but true. Before you go and get offended by that notion, consider this. Wouldn't a guy that looked like Jabba the Hut, be considered creepy regardless of what he had to say? Couldn't Matthew McConaughey or Channing Tatum walk up to nearly any women and get a good response?

I live in a free country (and yes, I realize that everyone does not), so if I want to pay a compliment, I see no reason why I shouldn't. If she doesn't appreciate it, that's her problem. Before another woman comes in here all stuck up with, "I wish guys would leave me alone", consider all the women out there who never hear compliments.

I applaud the OP in his effort to find a better way to interact in the real world, ironically doing so via the internet...which has in fact, made it more difficult for people to interact in the real world. My advice to him is this: You can only try your best to choose the words that best convey your compliment, in a manner that feels right to you. As a rule of thumb, if it's only a compliment and you're not attempting anything more, then your best bet is to walk away right after. No looking back, sort of a life philosophy for me with most things.

There really isn't a right or wrong with what you can compliment or the context in which the compliment is made, it simply comes down to how you hope to be perceived, the rest is simply left to fate.

Very well said, friend!!! Thank you!! I will follow your advice.

 

[KrazyWhiteBoy]

This thread reminded me of this. We are all a series of masks, are we not?

HILARIOUS!!!!! Bravo!! I literally laughed out loud!

 

[IrisAlthea]

The OP's inquiry seems to imply that all or even most women are the same, however, nothing can be further from the truth when it comes to this subject.

You could pay the same polite compliment to four different women, and the first might smile and enjoy it. The second might think it's creepy and call her therapist. The next might just go straight for her pepper spray, while the fourth might become your future wife. You just never really know.

And the bolded sentence shows why you need to choose your words with great care. You might be teased about them well into your 80s.

 

[NotHisLady]

And the bolded sentence shows why you need to choose your words with great care. You might be teased about them well into your 80s.

That goes for more than compliments.

 

[KrazyWhiteBoy]

so appropriate

Quote:
Originally Posted by JtohisPB View Post

This is presupposing that women don't ever find average guys attractive, which is not true. There are unattractive men, for sure, and men who give women the creeps. Just being average in appearance does not automatically lead to creepy guy status.

Yeah, you're right being average in appearance on its own doesn't automatically lead to creepy guy status. However being average in appearance plus demonstrating sexual interest is more likely to result in that guy being labelled a creep than a more attractive dude.

This youtube clip demonstrates it quite well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbeEuYAZFL4

Found this post in another thread and thought it most appropriate for my own thread. Thank you to shiny5437 http://forum.literotica.com/member.php?u=928262 for posting it originally. I just copied and pasted so it doesn't look as cool as when you Guru's or Really experienced quote another post. Sorry

 

[TamLin01]

I don't think it has much to do with how a guy looks. If a handsome guy creeps on you, he's just a handsome creeper. And a lot of guys use the "It's different if you're good-looking" line simply because they're butt-hurt. Not saying that's necessarily anyone here, but you get me.

 

[shiny5437]

I don't think it has much to do with how a guy looks. If a handsome guy creeps on you, he's just a handsome creeper. And a lot of guys use the "It's different if you're good-looking" line simply because they're butt-hurt. Not saying that's necessarily anyone here, but you get me.

I respectfully disagree with this. Firstly, the phenomenon of 'what is beautiful is good', the physical attractiveness stereotype, is real. Beautiful people are judged more positively even to the point of being less likely to be found guilty of certain crimes during court proceedings. This is reinforced in the media by the handsome-hero / ugly-villain trope. So by extension a 'handsome-creeper' is going to get more leeway than an average guy.

Secondly, I think the use of the phrase 'butt-hurt' is quite dismissive of the feelings guys experience from being rejected when, to be told you're an undesirable human being, does actually hurt. And some guys experience this a lot (myself included). It's something you learn to deal with and move on but the phrase butt-hurt as opposed to just hurt seems to suggest a guy should be impervious and should he feel anything then he is at fault.

 

[KrazyWhiteBoy]

I respectfully disagree with this. Firstly, the phenomenon of 'what is beautiful is good', the physical attractiveness stereotype, is real. Beautiful people are judged more positively even to the point of being less likely to be found guilty of certain crimes during court proceedings. This is reinforced in the media by the handsome-hero / ugly-villain trope. So by extension a 'handsome-creeper' is going to get more leeway than an average guy.

Secondly, I think the use of the phrase 'butt-hurt' is quite dismissive of the feelings guys experience from being rejected when, to be told you're an undesirable human being, does actually hurt. And some guys experience this a lot (myself included). It's something you learn to deal with and move on but the phrase butt-hurt as opposed to just hurt seems to suggest a guy should be impervious and should he feel anything then he is at fault.

Very well said!! I love what you said in the other thread also, enough that I quoted you here.

 

[satindesire]

I don't think it has much to do with how a guy looks. If a handsome guy creeps on you, he's just a handsome creeper. And a lot of guys use the "It's different if you're good-looking" line simply because they're butt-hurt. Not saying that's necessarily anyone here, but you get me.

This is 100% true. I've heard many MRAs and PUAs whine "If (insert handsome celebrity) did that to you, you'd LIKE it!

No, sorry, bucko, a good looking creep is still a creep.

 

[Dyslexicea]

How to compliment a woman or young lady without coming across like a creepy, perverted predator? I'm not looking for pickup lines. I'm not trying to pick anyone up. Is it creepy if some random guy at the grocery store tells you you're beautiful as he passes you in the aisle? I've done it a few times and I wonder if the woman feels complimented or is creeped out. The most recent time it was a store employee. She was stocking shelves as I came down the aisle and I thought, "wow, what a cute girl". I stopped and was looking at the shelf trying to decide which thing was the best price, when she knelt down next to me to stock the shelf I was looking at. She was very pretty. I stared at her trying to think of something to say without sounding like a dirty old pervert. Finally, when she stood up, I said "you are a beautiful girl and I hope you hear that every day". She gave me a shy smile, turned and went back to her stack of boxes. I turned the opposite direction and made myself not look at her again because I thought that would make it creepy. Another time as I passed a woman I said "wow you're beautiful" and just kept walking without looking back. Creepy?

Let me start out by saying, it surely can be creepy and at the very least inappropriate. Why do you feel the need to compliment someone you don't even know? Do you do the same to attractive men? What do you gain by doing so? The truth is what you're doing isn't about her, it's about you and your need to objectify us. If you think the teenage girl you complimented didn't think you were being creepy you're sadly mistaken and her shy smile was most likely embarrassment at being singled out for a complement from a strange man who happens to be old enough to be her father. I assure you we learn when we are very young some grown men can be very creepy.

Your kind of behavior is exactly why most of us avoid eye contact with strange men while in public spaces. My advice to you is just to smile, most of the time we'll return your smile but if we don't please don't say "smile", you have no idea what's happening in our lives at that time.

I for one like to be complemented on my appearance, I do spend time and money to look attractive and I love a complement from someone I know but from a stranger it's meaningless and if it's a man and he's given me the male gaze(leer) it is creepy.

Of course you don't have to listen to us but I did understand you wanted our opinion, instead you seem to want to listen to

Doggystyle! Love it

while he mansplained to you all about us and how we react to men who do as you do.

I live in a free country (and yes, I realize that everyone does not), so if I want to pay a compliment, I see no reason why I shouldn't. If she doesn't appreciate it, that's her problem. Before another woman comes in here all stuck up with, "I wish guys would leave me alone", consider all the women out there who never hear compliments.

As Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said "One has freedom to move one's arm until it hits the other fellows nose." I think this applies equally to being a disrespectful jackass as well.

 

[shiny5437]

This is 100% true. I've heard many MRAs and PUAs whine "If (insert handsome celebrity) did that to you, you'd LIKE it!

No, sorry, bucko, a good looking creep is still a creep.

Crossing the line is crossing the line and some things are across that line no matter who you are but like all things there's a grey zone and in that zone the good looking guys get away with more. The physical attractiveness stereotype is a real phenomenon.

Check this out:

http://psychsource.bps.org.uk/detai...erousness-and-the-Canadian-Criminal-Code.html

 

[WhenInDoubtFuck]

Of course you don't have to listen to us but I did understand you wanted our opinion, instead you seem to want to listen to

'Originally Posted by WhenInDoubtFuck View Post
Doggystyle! Love it '

while he mansplained to you all about us and how we react to men who do as you do.

Yes, I did love the clip. It made me laugh. I'm pretty sure the poster of said clip wanted us to laugh. How unfortunate that you do not have the capacity to enjoy such humor.

Thank you for proving the point that we see what we want to see. While some of my words were focused on the OP's inquiry regarding women, I clearly stated that the interactions and responses by humans were gender neutral.

From my post "The reasons for this go far beyond the fact that she is a woman. Nor would it be any different for men." and "Humans are very visual creatures, and as such, the response to your compliments will be in large part decided before you even start to speak. There is a certain level of shallowness in all of us."

I could go back and edit my post, swap the male and female sides of my conclusions, but the result would be the same.

As Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said "One has freedom to move one's arm until it hits the other fellows nose." I think this applies equally to being a disrespectful jackass as well.

My thanks to Justice Ginsburg for acknowledging that I am well within my rights to compliment another human being. While I never implied nor support the notion that someone should ever be a "disrespectful jackass", they would certainly have the right to do so. Just as equally as you have the right to call them a "disrespectful jackass".


One more thing, since I've seen the word here a couple times. (Source: Merriam-Webster)

Objectify : to treat as an object or cause to have objective reality.
Compliment : an expression of esteem, respect, affection, or admiration.

I'll let you all draw your own conclusions as to their connection (or lack of), since ultimately you will see what you want to see.

 

[Emerson40]

Let me start out by saying, it surely can be creepy and at the very least inappropriate. Why do you feel the need to compliment someone you don't even know? Do you do the same to attractive men? What do you gain by doing so? The truth is what you're doing isn't about her, it's about you and your need to objectify us. If you think the teenage girl you complimented didn't think you were being creepy you're sadly mistaken and her shy smile was most likely embarrassment at being singled out for a complement from a strange man who happens to be old enough to be her father. I assure you we learn when we are very young some grown men can be very creepy.

Your kind of behavior is exactly why most of us avoid eye contact with strange men while in public spaces. My advice to you is just to smile, most of the time we'll return your smile but if we don't please don't say "smile", you have no idea what's happening in our lives at that time.

I for one like to be complemented on my appearance, I do spend time and money to look attractive and I love a complement from someone I know but from a stranger it's meaningless and if it's a man and he's given me the male gaze(leer) it is creepy.

Of course you don't have to listen to us but I did understand you wanted our opinion, instead you seem to want to listen to while he mansplained to you all about us and how we react to men who do as you do.


As Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said "One has freedom to move one's arm until it hits the other fellows nose." I think this applies equally to being a disrespectful jackass as well.

Wow.

It is attitudes like this that have everyone avoiding eye contact, walking around on egg shells out in the world.

Here are a couple of news flashes:

Contrary to your statement(s), there isn't any male agenda to objectify women. Does it happen? You betcha. But it is NOT all men, or only men who do this. Nor is it happening every time a male opens his mouth to speak to a female.

Sometimes a compliment is just a compliment, a kind word just a kind word. It isn't subterfuge, or part of a plan to objectify or be malicious.



May I suggest you also ease up on the "us" and "we" and use more the "I" and "me". I realize you have two XX chromosomes, but this alone is not sufficient to speak on behalf of ALL women. Other women have a different sense of humor than you, don't share the same attitudes towards men as you, and, as indicated in the few posts above, can handle a compliment from a stranger, or even a man.

As far as the good Justice's words, I compliment you on taking a statement and trying to utilize it in a fashion that was not it's intended context. The statement can apply to language and it's use, sure, but you are assuming - as you have with your other generalizations - that everyone (everywoman) will / should perceive a compliment as a pop on the nose.

 

[satindesire]

Crossing the line is crossing the line and some things are across that line no matter who you are but like all things there's a grey zone and in that zone the good looking guys get away with more. The physical attractiveness stereotype is a real phenomenon.

Check this out:

http://psychsource.bps.org.uk/detai...erousness-and-the-Canadian-Criminal-Code.html

Do you know what's "creepy"? When a person violates your boundaries.

Even good looking men can violate boundaries. Good looking men can sexually harass, stalk, street harass, send unsolicited dick pics, make crude noises/jokes, good looking men may "get away with more" but they are still creepy when they violate boundaries.

In short: Good looking men can still be creeps. Period.

 

[KrazyWhiteBoy]

As Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said "One has freedom to move one's arm until it hits the other fellows nose." I think this applies equally to being a disrespectful jackass as well.

And Justice Ginsburg will uphold the charge of aggravated assault after you are arrested for your freedom of arm movement.

I'm sorry that men have been mistakenly attracted to you. You must be a "femme" lesbian and not a "butch", although the tone of your post comes across very "butch"/man hating. You suggest that I should compliment men as well, which contradicts your entire statement. I automatically assume that men will not be open to receiving compliments from another man. Unfortunately I cannot look at a female and tell what sexual persuasion she is attracted to. So I err on the side of the majority.

Another assumption you have made is that I am trying to objectfy/"come on to" the female I am complimenting, which I have stated multiple times in this thread, is not the case.

 

[bailadora]

Another assumption you have made is that I am trying to objectfy/"come on to" the female I am complimenting, which I have stated multiple times in this thread, is not the case.

To be fair, you while you may know that, the woman to whom you're paying the compliment has no way of knowing your intent. You could, indeed, be a nice guy simply hoping to brighten someone's day. Or you could be someone who's using the "nice guy" approach as a way to gauge her interest.

While I'm someone who tends to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove me wrong, others have had such negative experiences that their instinct/preference is to be more defensive. And honestly, who am I to tell them they're wrong, just because my experiences don't match theirs?

FWIW, I think your best bet is to keep it as respectful as possible (ie if you wouldn't say it to an aunt, your mother, or sister then don't say it at all), and keep on moving as you deliver the compliment (as mentioned in a post above).

 

[NotHisLady]

May I suggest you also ease up on the "us" and "we" and use more the "I" and "me". I realize you have two XX chromosomes, but this alone is not sufficient to speak on behalf of ALL women. Other women have a different sense of humor than you, don't share the same attitudes towards men as you, and, as indicated in the few posts above, can handle a compliment from a stranger, or even a man.

Pretty much THIS.

I read (and see in the media) so many examples of women being defined as a group. Just because I happen to have girl parts doesn't make me one of 'we' or 'us' when it comes to any issue.
Not to put too fine a point on it but that really pisses me off. Where do people get off speaking for me based on my gender, especially when a man finds himself castigated for making any statement about women in general terms?


When a stranger (male or female) offers me a kind word or a compliment I accept it with grace, say thank you, and feel just a little brighter for it. Does it matter where those few words came from? Not at all.
If there's something about another person I find striking I might mention it. Does that make me creepy? I'd have to say no since no one has ever reacted that way.
The chasm between being creepy or inappropriate and simply nice is extremely wide. Much of the difference is pure perception.
All that being said, what is OK to me may not be OK to someone else. That doesn't make either of us wrong, it just makes us different.
Different isn't bad.

Please note the uses of 'I' and 'me' since I am the only person I can speak for.

 

[satindesire]

And Justice Ginsburg will uphold the charge of aggravated assault after you are arrested for your freedom of arm movement.

I'm sorry that men have been mistakenly attracted to you. You must be a "femme" lesbian and not a "butch", although the tone of your post comes across very "butch"/man hating. You suggest that I should compliment men as well, which contradicts your entire statement. I automatically assume that men will not be open to receiving compliments from another man. Unfortunately I cannot look at a female and tell what sexual persuasion she is attracted to. So I err on the side of the majority.

Another assumption you have made is that I am trying to objectfy/"come on to" the female I am complimenting, which I have stated multiple times in this thread, is not the case.

Seriously?!

You're going to call her a butch, man-hating lesbian because of her totally valid reactions to multiple negative experiences she's had with dudes sexually harassing her? Not only is that incredibly homophobic, it's ridiculously insulting.

Fuck off with this. She has every right to protect herself as she sees fit. If you want to do armchair psychoanalysis, you sound like a misogynistic ass for jumping all over her. She doesn't have to care about your dick, and you're an entitled fuck for even suggesting that you have a RIGHT to tell her how to feel.

You aren't a woman so you will -NEVER- have any idea what it's like being constantly harassed. Some women get sexually harassed or street harassed on a near-daily basis! It's not a fucking compliment. You don't have a right to spout bigotry and hatred towards a woman who spoke her mind about her legitimate experiences and how she would deal with being complimented by a stranger.

We got asked for our opinions. We said them. If you don't like it, there's the ignore button, bigot. PUSH IT.

 

[CeasarBoobage]

Let me start out by saying, it surely can be creepy and at the very least inappropriate. Why do you feel the need to compliment someone you don't even know? Do you do the same to attractive men? What do you gain by doing so? The truth is what you're doing isn't about her, it's about you and your need to objectify us.
<snip>
Your kind of behavior is exactly why most of us avoid eye contact with strange men while in public spaces. My advice to you is just to smile, most of the time we'll return your smile but if we don't please don't say "smile", you have no idea what's happening in our lives at that time.
<snip>

Just smile? Really? Somehow I think that would be taken offensively as well. Or maybe it's OK if the smile and look doesn't last more than 0.25 seconds; any more and it's harassment.

Wow.

It is attitudes like this that have everyone avoiding eye contact, walking around on egg shells out in the world.
<snip>
Sometimes a compliment is just a compliment, a kind word just a kind word. It isn't subterfuge, or part of a plan to objectify or be malicious.

Sadly, the egg shell thing is entirely too true.

I'm sorry that men have been mistakenly attracted to you.
<snip>
Another assumption you have made is that I am trying to objectfy/"come on to" the female I am complimenting, which I have stated multiple times in this thread, is not the case.

HA! The apology made me LOL...

My interactions with entirely too many people have taught me to keep my opinions to myself, look at no one, and only speak to people I know. The majority of sentiment I'm seeing in this thread is that a guy can't pay a simple compliment to a lady without it being taken rudely, because we don't "know them", it's creepy and objectifying, and at the very least it's inappropriate. My mommy and daddy taught me not to talk to strangers. The reactions I'm seeing here shows they knew what was going on.

Believe it or not, just because a male gives a female more than a passing glance doesn't mean he's trying to get into her panties. Just because he smiles and says 'hi' doesn't mean he wants to lock her in the basement. When he says "OMG you're gorgeous", it is quite possible he thinks she really is, and he wanted to let her know her work to get/stay that way is noticed and appreciated.

It's nice to see there are a few ladies here with the grace to say 'thanks' and accept a compliment as it's given.

 

[CeasarBoobage]

I think the point you're failing to see is that I (and some other women I would guess) don't care at all what random strangers think of how I look and nor should I have to. Nor should there be this kind of insinuation that I am somehow lacking grace should I choose to not react favourably to such attentions as described in this thread.

That's not me behaving rudely it's just not what I'm about.

Sometimes a woman just wants to get her shit done without feeling like all she is just a pretty object for men to admire. Whether or not your intentions are kind of lascivious is in fact irrelevant - I just want to get my daily life done without those attentions. That doesn't mean I am lacking grace or ungrateful, it just means I don't care what random strangers think of me and I don't want to be forced into hearing it.

Other people have posted comments that are similar, but I wanted to call this one out. THANK YOU Rainshine, for saying it in a way that I could read without my hackles rising. You were able to say "I don't care what you think and I don't want to hear you" and the post wasn't bristling daggers and venom, and I couldn't feel you yelling through the screen.

Honestly though, I do get your point. I'm getting old and crotchety, and for the most part I've stopped complimenting people on anything because it's either taken wrong or unwanted. Now I usually stay silent unless I'm asked my opinion. Even then, I find myself saying what they want to hear because it's easier. [/bitter rant]

 

[Bramblethorn]

Contrary to your statement(s), there isn't any male agenda to objectify women. Does it happen? You betcha. But it is NOT all men, or only men who do this. Nor is it happening every time a male opens his mouth to speak to a female.

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media...ogressive,q_80,w_636/xlrwadxvplsgsqnuaafa.jpg
http://www.listen-tome.com/comics/2014-04-10-PLTM196.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/0QX5Y6N.jpg

Now I've got that out of the way...

I don't think there's any "male agenda" in the sense that the Grand Cabal of Dudes gets together and agrees on ways to objectify women and then sends out the Dude Newsletter telling each guy his role in that plan.

But if you've ever watched ants or bees at work you'll know that sometimes a group collectively behaves toward a certain purpose even if no one member consciously plans it that way or is even capable of comprehending that purpose.

Sure, there are men who don't contribute to that phenomenon. But there are plenty who do, and that creates a problem for women. When a woman attempts to discuss that problem and talk about how certain behaviour by men feeds into it, NOT ALL MEN is about as helpful as "well what about the bees who AREN'T trying to sting you?"

(And, yes, there certainly are women who play a part in objectification. But the OP is a guy who was asking for advice on his own actions, so maybe we could save that for another thread?)

Sometimes a compliment is just a compliment, a kind word just a kind word. It isn't subterfuge, or part of a plan to objectify or be malicious.

Sure. But women - especially strangers who've never met you before - are not telepathic. They don't know whether this particular strange guy is just trying to be nice, or whether he's a creeper.

May I suggest you also ease up on the "us" and "we" and use more the "I" and "me". I realize you have two XX chromosomes, but this alone is not sufficient to speak on behalf of ALL women. Other women have a different sense of humor than you, don't share the same attitudes towards men as you, and, as indicated in the few posts above, can handle a compliment from a stranger, or even a man.

Yep, different people have different tolerances. That has a lot to do with different life experiences, different personal contexts (e.g. whether you're white can have a big impact on how sexism does or doesn't affect you) and different attitudes towards things like risk decisions. I think it's fair to say that quite a lot of women would be okay with these compliments.

But is "quite a lot of women" good enough here?

Imagine if instead of asking about complimenting women, the OP had shown up to ask if it was okay to hand out cookies to kids at the local playground. If nine parents responded "sure, fine by me" and one said "don't you fucking do that, I don't want strangers approaching my kids and I don't know whether those cookies are safe", would you just say "oh well, nine out of ten is good enough?"

(The difference is that if you go handing out cookies to strangers' kids, somebody is likely to call the cops; if you make a woman uncomfortable with unwelcome personal remarks, it's quite likely she won't say anything about it, because complaining is more likely to lead to mansplaining or outright hostility than to get a positive reaction.)

As far as the good Justice's words, I compliment you on taking a statement and trying to utilize it in a fashion that was not it's intended context. The statement can apply to language and it's use, sure, but you are assuming - as you have with your other generalizations - that everyone (everywoman) will / should perceive a compliment as a pop on the nose.

I don't think Dyslexicea's comments were as general as you're making out. She specifically said that she herself appreciated compliments on her appearance in some circumstances but found them creepy in others, so let's not build a straw man here.

I'd also like to emphasise that "would EVERY woman be creeped out by this behaviour?" is the wrong standard. If nine women are okay with it and the tenth finds it creepy, then the correct response is not "nine out of ten is good enough" but "let's find a different way to compliment people that works for the tenth as well".

I'm sorry that men have been mistakenly attracted to you. You must be a "femme" lesbian and not a "butch", although the tone of your post comes across very "butch"/man hating.

...dude, no. Femme vs butch is not about man-hating. (And for that matter, there are quite a few straight guys who are attracted to butch women.)

You seem to be reading some sort of "I find it offensive to be complimented by people who don't fit my orientation" into Dyslexicea's post, but I can't see anything in it to support that reading unless you're working off some sort of stereotype of the man-hating lesbian. From other discussions I'm aware that Dys is wary of men, but that's not the same thing as hate.

What she actually said was that compliments from strangers [of any sex] were meaningless, and that compliments from guys when accompanied by a leer were creepy.

You suggest that I should compliment men as well, which contradicts your entire statement. I automatically assume that men will not be open to receiving compliments from another man. Unfortunately I cannot look at a female and tell what sexual persuasion she is attracted to. So I err on the side of the majority.

No, it contradicts your misreading of her statement.

Another assumption you have made is that I am trying to objectfy/"come on to" the female I am complimenting, which I have stated multiple times in this thread, is not the case.

You may not mean it that way. But instead of defending your intent, please stop and listen when women try to tell you why focussing on beauty can be objectifying.

When he says "OMG you're gorgeous", it is quite possible he thinks she really is, and he wanted to let her know her work to get/stay that way is noticed and appreciated.

Sure. But that can still be problematic, because when "you're gorgeous" becomes the default compliment it says things about what women are (and aren't) valued for. When a woman hears that over and over - as opposed to, say, "good idea!" or "that was really helpful!" or any other compliment that acknowledges her agency - it tells her that her most important responsibility in life is to be decorative. And that becomes an insult and a threat, whether you mean it that way or not.

It's nice to see there are a few ladies here with the grace to say 'thanks' and accept a compliment as it's given.

Surely the object of a genuine, good-faith compliment is to make the recipient feel good. It's supposed to be a gift. If you give somebody a gift and then get aggrieved because they're not giving you something you wanted in return, then it's not actually the gift that it's pretending to be. It's an attempt to create an obligation by stealth.

If you feel that complimenting a woman entitles you to gratitude, no matter how misjudged the compliment might be, then you are Doing Compliments Wrong.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Make eye contact, smile brightly, and deliver your compliment sincerely. Be specific and be prepared for a follow up conversation.

As for the creepy - some folks naturally look creepy and may or may not be. Other folks reach creepiness in the way they deliver a compliment - body language, tone, or content. Touch bases with your friends and ask if they think you are creepy - if they're honest friends, they will tell you.

I have a friend who looks mostly normal (LOL - that is about as close as we all get), but he can come across as creepy. Here is just a list a list of the things he does that come across badly.

-He wears sunglasses inside, but by the tilt of his head you can tell when he's staring. Never wear sunglasses inside.

-Whatever he is doing he will come to a complete stop when he goes to deliver his compliment, so rather than a passing compliment he is obviously just standing there. Keep moving.

-He gets inside their personal space and then leans in with his upper body. Never penetrate personal space. Deliver your compliment from a comfortable distance.

-After he delivers a compliment, he follows up with a forced and fake sounding laugh. Don't do it.

Personally, I find that a well delivered compliment usual results in a good effect on the person. Every now and then it falls flat, but that is not enough to stop me from doing it. (When appropriate I compliment both men and women - I think, having been the recipient of random compliments, it is flattering and gracious - especially if the person has obviously made the effort to look good.

 

[Miles Long]

With your left hand touch the tip of your index finger to the tip of your thumb, forming a small circle. Then take your right hand and move your right index finger back and forth in and out of the circle on your left hand. Stand in her field of vision doing that until she looks up and notices. When she realizes what you're doing, say to her, "You know what that is? That's you and me later."

 

[MeekMe]

With your left hand touch the tip of your index finger to the tip of your thumb, forming a small circle. Then take your right hand and move your right index finger back and forth in and out of the circle on your left hand. Stand in her field of vision doing that until she looks up and notices. When she realizes what you're doing, say to her, "You know what that is? That's you and me later."

You got it! (^O^)／

Disclaimer: this "compliment" only works on MeekMe when stated by Miles Long. It is only valid between the times of 11:34:29 and 11:34:30. This offer is not valid on week nights, Saturday and Sundays. All holidays excluded. For more details please contact customer service.

 

[Miles Long]

That strategy^ is best when it's followed up with some slow and deep hip thrusting when she notices you.

But very subtly. You don't want to oversell it.

You got it! (^O^)／

Disclaimer: this "compliment" only works on MeekMe when stated by Miles Long. It is only valid between the times of 11:34:29 and 11:34:30. This offer is not valid on week nights, Saturday and Sundays. All holidays excluded. For more details please contact customer service.