I'll read yours...

[jthserra]

Re: Tenderness Echos~

Originally posted by My Erotic Tail


But...It was short. Seemed like it skipped a lot
of details. Perhaps they weren't needed. But
as a reader I wanted more. (sorry)

Thank you for the read, vote and glowing comment. I think one of the best things someone could say about a story it that they want more.

The story was short, originally written to a 250 word limit for a contest. I then expanded it to a 1000 word format, again for a contest. In writing to such a small scale, you have to trim a lot of story.

I have completed some more of the story, of Destin's youth, his first discovery of his strange gift. I have not done much with it feeling it was not up to the level of the original story. I do want to go back and work out some more on Destin. Some of the things I still have to figure out for myself.


Hey if anyone else is interested in reading it, please do so and vote... I have 9 votes right now. It is so hard to get vote on the non-erotic stories... Tenderness Echoes


Once again, thank you for the kind comments.

jim

 

[jthserra]

Crotching Tiger & Ridden Dragon

Oh yes... very nice. A wonderful build up to a very convincing climax. Both characters were developed nicely through the restrained combat. The sex scene just became part of the flow, so natural seeming.

The only problems I had was early in their conversation, I got lost on who was talking to whom. He would speak, then when I expected her response (because we slipped into another paragraph) he spoke... I had to read through that again to pick up on it. I think perhaps, instead of carrying the second portion of an individual's conversation in a new paragraph, it appeared it could remain part of the same paragraph.

A couple of typos that I just kind of stumbled upon, did not detract from the story. "Perhaps the dragons fire is desire?"... need apostrophe on dragon's. The other was a missed quotation mark... ( )Now shall we continue". Again, just minor typos that you might want to fix to keep the story flawless.

I enjoyed the story, and I appreciated an erotic, restrained encounter by some delightful characters....

Wonderful story Art...

jim

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

Wicked-N-Erotic,

Thank you for your kind words on "Violet'. I did try to make that story a bit different. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I noticed that most of your stories posted all around the same time. I wanted to
read your latest story, but I found that I just needed to take a pick.
I chose Moonlight Romance.
I found it to be well written and you told the story of Alex and Michael's moonlight romp quite well. I found it very erotic. Your style of writing eludes me, as I write more dialoge driven stories. If I could marry the two together, I would quit my day job.
I say, good job and post something new!

Thanks again, Wicked-N-Erotic

Kirk



Thank you Kirk,
Likewise I'm glad that you enjoyed my little tale as well. If you are looking for more dialogue, then "Back To Good" and "Between Friends" has more of what you are looking for.
Again, thank you.


My Erotic Tail,

Take a pick of any, although, "Back To Good" has gotten far less feedback.




Wicked

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Back to Good~

Wicked-N-Erotic~

I read "Back to Good."
I honestly liked it, (but) I had to force my
self to read into it...yes once Beth..turned
into candy and the sex boiled...I was glad
I stayed into it. The phone conversation
was intrigueing... but the problmatic begining
was wanting me to yell.."Get a sex theropist"..lol
I feared this was a man thing so I had a female
freind read it and she liked it... So perhaps the
audience (reader) it appeals to is like soaps.
you have to like that type of drama...I did read
it honey and Like I said once the action started
I was hooked...he he ...It flowed well...Im not
a grammer wiz so I dont pick at that...Every one
has their Nich' in life...you can tell by my tales
I like action/humor...but my female-friend loved it.
Perhaps this is why you didnt get a lot of feed-back
from it...I can tell by the read though that your a
good writer...so I plan to pick another story and
read it too...Ill let ya know which..and what I think
of it too...(~.*)

Ill be honest Im trying to get my Tiger/Dragon
read and feedback cause I'm thinking of a
chapter 3...Spirit of the Tiger...But I KNOW
from reading "Back to Good" you'd probably
enjoy my "Blue Blouses" more..lol

So I will curl up with my coffee in the morn
and read another one of your Tales..smiles..
P.S. I gave you a (5)..for moving my tail..he he
............................Art.................................

 

[The_Darkness]

So I will curl up with my coffee in the morn
and read another one of your Tales..smiles..

Yup....must be tired...the good ol' lysdexia is kicking in....I swear I read that twice and it said "curl up with my mom in the coffin."

g'night y'all.

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

But I KNOW
from reading "Back to Good" you'd probably
enjoy my "Blue Blouses"



My Erotic Tale,

This is too funny, I read Blue Blouses last night. I was looking through your list and that is the one I picked. It was very good with the exception that some words had missing letters. Like you I won't dawdle on grammer and punctuation, I'm not that good at it without my wordpad. I really liked the way the story flowed and how it was so easy to get in to. Very nice job.

Perhaps I will give your Crotching/Dragon a look tonight.

Thanks for the feedback and the 5 vote, I really appreciate it.

Wicked

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Seduction of a Repairman~

Wicked-N-Erotic~

"Wow" What can I say? I loved it.
"Seduction of a Repairman" was perfect.
I have an older computer and I couldn't get the
Audio to work. But the read was sensational.
I saw no flaws what so ever. I hung on every
word. The way you described her atire was sexy
and erotic. Moved my muscle...he he he when
they got to the bed and went for it. I like the way it
started off, with her desires flaming already.
I did anticipate the ending. I won't give it away
for other readers, the final twist. But then again
the title said it all, I knew pretty much what the
story was going to be about. But it was done
with passion and in a manner that I was glued
to the words till its very end. (~.*)
.........Smiles......."This is a great story"

 

[bitslinger]

Re: bitslinger

. . .

 

[The_Darkness]

Mmmm.....Renza Jones....

I went back and read an author that I hadn't seen being discussed in the board but who had posted. I must say I found a good one.

Renza Jones has a two-parter listed and it is a hell of a read. It's each one is about two Lit pages long, but it's fast.

The story drew me in, though I admit I had difficulty for the first half of the first part keeping the characters straight (no pun intended). There were a few, but not many, grammatical errors, missing commas and shit like that for the most part.

The biggest problem I had with the story at first was that the characters are so non-descript. We are told what they are wearing, but not much beyond that. To some degree, that wokrs better because we can let our mind invent the characters, and there's enough reinforcement through the story to keep that image in mind. And, in this story it works. It works damn well.

I did feel that a little more detail here and there could make this story a lot better....when we do get details, it's generally during the sex scenes, but a little more would be extremely nice.

Overall, I gave the first one a 4 and the second one a 5, and Renza teasses us with a 3rd chapter, which I doubt I will forget to read.

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Moving Day ch 1~

.....................Moving Day ch 1..............

He He..I read Moving Day ch 1~
By ..The_Darkness~.................

I saw the personality of the writer in this
tale which made it more real. Fantasy
perhaps but seemed more like a memory.
The frustration of leaveing to the fire of
the red head and the thoughts that go
through ones mind while giving a perfect
stranger a ride where precious, I enjoyed
the read and see that there is a part 2
I felt that it was cut off at the end and
will have to read part 2 to see how it ends.
I give it a 5 cause it was an easy read with
no short comings. The humor was what held
me to the same old hitch hiker tale. I would
have called it Highway to heaven or the road
to ...........well its your tale...he he he ...Ill read
ch. 2. and see how it ends. Enjoyable read.

 

[The_Darkness]

Erotic Tail;

Thanks! I haven't gotten much negative feedback on that one yet...It had 5's for a rating until like the 13th or 14th vote.

Part two is either better or worse depending on your tastes. Part 3 is in the works and I'm promising sex, sex, gartuitous sex, and maybe a little love story patched in there. Part 3 will be the last chapter in that particular story as well.

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Moving Day ch 2 ~

...................Moving Day ch 2.............

The_Darkness~

I like the way you leave it hanging...lol
to lead to the next chapter..I did blue blouses
that way and they rejected it say it needed more
so I added to it...maybe it was a word count...
but I'll be looking for part 3...he he
I see why it had an H by it...truely hot !!!!!
The on;ly time I faultered reading it was when
they talked about there families endevours..lol
other than that it was another good read.
..........Moving Day ch 2 ...HOT..........

If your looking for hot with adventure...read ,my
Crotching Tiger & Ridden Dragon 1 & 2
PART 3 is awesome and will be out soon
BLUE BLOUSES romantic and hot.....
most of my others are humorous.....
.................enjoy...........................
(don't be afraid to be critical ..he he )

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Raine and Sheri~

................. Raine and Sheri....

Long in tale and sizzle..truly spiced with words
feelings, conflict and plot. Flowed nice..made for a
comfortable read. The Families feelings were real
as the tale unfolded, hopefully to a part two.
Continueing their playful tugs. And fiesty feelings
of the heart from perspectives. I enjoyed....smiles (~.*)


Couple places seemed long in dialoge but such
is life. The Sisters feelings seemed delightfully real.
As well as all charactors. I chose this tale because
it was your newst I believe, and boosted you a
comment and smile. Watching for two...from you

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Crotching Tiger & Ridden Dragon 3~

My story was posted today...Woo Hoo
Crotching Tiger & Ridden Dragon 3 (new)
)Strength of the Tiger & Wisdom of the Dragon)

Please let me know what you think...I am submitting
part 4...(The Temple) so the story continues...enjoy.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I read "Tenderness Echoes", and either I missed the point, or the point wasn't clearly made. It's a great premise for a story: a gentle man with the power of death lives among the people of a small town. But a premise so powerful deserves more story. I assume he jumps because now he knows that everyone will be coming to him from all over, and he'll be used as a killing machine, but I do think this should have been made clearer and played for more drama.

I think this is what the other comments meant when they talked about a lot of details being left out. I know you kept the story sketchy on purpose, but I think that by avoiding giving us a clearer look at this man you made us feel kind of cheated. Personally, I find that when I'm writing about the supernatural, there can be a lot of chills and interest in the little mundane details. What kind of pictures does Death have on his walls? What's cooking on his stove? What furniture does he have?

As I said, a powerful premise, incompletely realized. I;d like to see you go back and flesh it out.

---dr.M.

 

[jthserra]

Thank you...

for the comments on Tenderness Echoes. It was originally written for a contest that was limited to 250 words. I later extended it to fit a contest for 1,000 words. I had considered going back and fleshing it out, I have a few other very short passages written, but weren't real happy with them.

thanks again...

jim : )

 

[niyah2]

I'll Read yours

Dear All,

Sorry I have been remiss in this thread lately but it was dead for awhile and i didn't have new material to read. i decided to read something from Dr. Mabeuse. He is to be a published author soon for one of my favorite stories . Matt Danger and the Bound Angel all three chapters of course.

Dr. Mabeuse always seems to be able to bring the writer into the story and shake them up and down like a rag doll then pick them back up again stroking them a little then making them feel as though they are on the cross being tortured with nipple clamps and other decadent wonderful things.

i enjoyed this story as i read it and felt like i was unable to stop turning the pages of each chapter. Guess i am biased as His stories always seem to move me. One way or the other. (grins)

The story is funny, serious, naughty, erotically stimulating, and something that almost makes you wish you were Matt or beth for that matter.

Thank You for sharing Your stories with Us Sir and for making a reply here.

niyah2

 

[destinie21]

Hey guys thanks for keeping this thread going
I've got a new story up. It's part two of the Raine&Sheri series.
If you're interested check it out. Keep in mind that this is a lesbian incest story. If you don't like the aforementioned subject the I wouldn't suggest reading it


Raine&Sheri 2

 

[Le Jacquelope]

I commented directly on "Reunited Ch. 01"

 

[cookiejar]

I commented directly on "Reunited Ch. 01"

LT, I read "To Serve Him" and "You're What's For Dessert." Both were very erotic but I especially liked the first because that is one of my favorite ways of making love. I practice it a lot...

 

[jthserra]

Cookie: I read your story "Do You Know?"

I found it a very touching love scene, but I didn't like it as much as several of your other stories here. In your other stories, there was more than just the sex, the build up of your characters and setting that added interest and depth to the story. Here was a only bedroom and sexual action, titilating, but with an incomplete feeling for me.


jim : )


One of my new ones:A Rat's Return

 

[Fable]

Cookie
Just read Little Shop of Thrills
It moves along well and it's funny
Good conversation
Have you tried 1st person?

My Stuff: Check out "My Second Piece of Ass" series

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=234559

 

[cookiejar]

Thanks for the comments Jim & Fable. I've been indisposed but I will read your stories today.

 

[cookiejar]

Re: Cookie: I read your story "Do You Know?"

I found it a very touching love scene, but I didn't like it as much as several of your other stories here. In your other stories, there was more than just the sex, the build up of your characters and setting that added interest and depth to the story. Here was a only bedroom and sexual action, titilating, but with an incomplete feeling for me.


jim : )


One of my new ones:A Rat's Return

I read 2 of your stories...

"Ordinary Hero" So sad...This story was so touching. I can only hope Jane was comforted by John's presence. Good one Jim!

"Reluctant Hero" What a twist...Short but the ending packed a punch. I'm still laughing. Good going Jim!

 

[cookiejar]

Cookie
Just read Little Shop of Thrills
It moves along well and it's funny
Good conversation
Have you tried 1st person?

My Stuff: Check out "My Second Piece of Ass" series

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=234559

I read the "My Second Piece of Ass" series and I must tell you I was hooked. I read all 10 chapters at a sitting. You took a meeting at a brothel and have expanded it into a fascinating story. When does the next one come out? BTW...I love "Whack" lol

Interestingly enough; the story jthserra read; "Do You Know?" is first person.