Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[MindYaBitness]

How about free tickets to my magic show? Just lemme grab wand & rabbit.

 

[Trubbycat]

 

[DarkFlameDesires]

My love for you is like diarrhea.

I just can't hold it in.

 

[HoosierPapi]

30 seconds of sex and nine and a half minutes of uncontrollable sobbing?

Exactly

 

[HoosierPapi]

You won't believe how I got this electronic ankle tag!

Don’t let him fool you, he knows it’s called an ankle bracelet, he’s just acting like he’s never had one

 

[HoosierPapi]

How about free tickets to my magic show? Just lemme grab wand & rabbit.

Ummmm…. That wasn’t your wand that you just grabbed…, but thanks for the memories

 

[HoosierPapi]

Are those caterpillars on your face, or are you just happy to see me?

Tonight me, you, and Wally Moon’s unibrow.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Want to add “has an awesome gag reflex” to your resume?

 

[HoosierPapi]

Want to add “has an awesome gag reflex” to your resume?

Snowball fight!!!!

 

[UnquietDreams]

Are those caterpillars on your face, or are you just happy to see me?

Why, caterpillars, thank you for noticing! I am trying to tame them.

 

[TheMrBurns]

*Burries face in your lap then takes a long, loud sniff*

Oh! Me Cookie Monster love smell of you cookies, OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!

 

[UnquietDreams]

You are so wonderful, there should be nothing between you and me but latex...

 

[crazychemgirl]

Wanna come over and fuck while we listen to the Vincent Price laugh track from the end of the Thriller song on repeat??

 

[UnquietDreams]

Wanna come over and fuck while we listen to the Vincent Price laugh track from the end of the Thriller song ??

I would kick you out of bed for eating crackers, but only so I could fuck you on the floor.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Have I told you how much I like dolls?

I have a room full of dolls where I like to fuck while they watch.

You wanna?

 

[UnquietDreams]

Have I told you how much I like dolls?

I have a room full of dolls where I like to fuck while they watch.

You wanna?

Meet Creepydoll. When my daughter had friends sleep over, she would move her while they slept "to watch over them. "

 

[Taegul]

I've never been to church for a first date before but I'm game to give it a try. I think I'm ready to go...

 

[crazychemgirl]

I can only orgasm while wearing full clown makeup while you honk my red nose and make the “hyuk hyuk hyuk” sound …

That’s not a problem for you, is it?

 

[Taegul]

I can only orgasm while wearing full clown makeup while you honk my red nose and make the “hyuk hyuk hyuk” sound …

That’s not a problem for you, is it?

Is a "hawk tuah" sound close enough?

 

[UnquietDreams]

I can only orgasm while wearing full clown makeup while you honk my red nose and make the “hyuk hyuk hyuk” sound …

That’s not a problem for you, is it?

Well, not as long as you don't mind not orgasming, I am fine with it.

 

[LostHorizon]

Do you work on a boat cause I love seamen.

That would actually turn me on.

 

[LostHorizon]

“How is your pussy doing today?”

 

[Photog1rl]

Do you wanna fuck or is that just me?

 

[crazychemgirl]

My last boyfriend was hung like a horse .. I hope that’s not intimidating

 

[LostHorizon]

Do you wanna fuck or is that just me?

Uhhh again… that one would… never mind.