Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[Malbec_Girl]

Can you remind me what your name is please? I want to shout it out when I have sex tonight with my husband.

 

[Wriggle]

It's certainly not Keith

 

[Malbec_Girl]

"you know, I've always had a surprisingly tight throat"

 

[orangecurious]

so... names, right. did you know that the name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan? It didn't exist before that, it was created to rhyme with "friendy". Isn't that interesting?

hello?

 

[ImpishSeraph]

I love clowns so much that my bedroom is themed in clowns. I even have costumes. What do you say we head back to my place, and I'll let you wear one?

 

[Wriggle]

I'm big fan of clowning, too.
I just seem to love punishing my bollocks since having kids.

 

[Nicefella]

"you know, I've always had a surprisingly tight throat"

“I’m surprised. I’ve always had a shockingly small wang.”

 

[Wriggle]

*clears throat in preparation for top flirting skills WITH THE POSTER ABOVE and clearly and slowly states in his best pedantic voice*

Erm, I think you'll find it's the poster above you have to flirt with, not the one with lady bits. Where was my flirting?

(That's going to make nicefella fancy me)

 

[crazychemgirl]

I heard you had a sneaky hot body … I look like a garbage pail .. is that a problem?

 

[Wriggle]

Not at all. My one friend calls me a Lowthario.

 

[vagrantx]

Not at all. My one friend calls me a Lowthario.

Hi! I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty! So, uh... How's the back seat?

 

[Wand3rlust]

hvis jeg sa at du hadde en vakker kropp ville du holdt den mot meg?

Also, A-ha are my favourite band. So...

 

[Nicefella]

So I have a friend who has herpes and he met this really hot chick who he wants to bang … but he has herpes. How should he tell her that I have herpes?

 

[Nicefella]

hvis jeg sa at du hadde en vakker kropp ville du holdt den mot meg?

Also, A-ha are my favourite band. So...

Well then fuck it

Ekat no em.

 

[crazychemgirl]

I can only fuck while watching re-runs of “The Office” while you say, “that’s what she said” every time I moan …

That’s not a problem, is if?

 

[vagrantx]

I can only fuck while watching re-runs of “The Office” while you say, “that’s what she said” every time I moan …

That’s not a problem, is if?

"Girl, I'll make you groan while we bone, a moan, as I stroke your collarbone; smell that? my pheromone, my hormone, they're on high alert from your muscle tone, now lay down, go prone, I'll take you to some divine zone, i'll make your mind blown, i---"
"Honey, who's that on the phone?"
"Shit! Fuck, uhhhh.... Don't know! Caller unknown!!"
<click>

hvis jeg sa at du hadde en vakker kropp ville du holdt den mot meg?

Also, A-ha are my favourite band. So...

Is this... is this the incompetent flirting part? This is norwegian. I'm swedish. Like calling a scotsman english!

10/10. Well done.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

I can only fuck while watching re-runs of “The Office” while you say, “that’s what she said” every time I moan …

That’s not a problem, is if?

That’s what she said

 

[Photog1rl]

I’m your private dancer
A dancer for money
And any old music will do

Deutsche Marks or dollars
American Express will do nicely, thank you
Let me loosen up your collar
Tell me, do you wanna see me do the shimmy again?

You do have an AMEX right?

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Is that new perfume you're wearing?

 

[crazychemgirl]

Wanna couple with me and bond?

 

[Shenanigans90]

Wanna couple with me and bond?

Is your name Holly Goodhead?

 

[Taegul]

Hey. My hands are full. Could you reach into my pocket and take my phone out? A little more to the left. A little more. There it is. Now gently pull. I SAID GENTLY!

 

[Thirsty_Hellcat_J]

Smell this finger.

Clean isn't it?

It'll smell of you later.

 

[Bry1313]

I’ve missed all your pics…..PM them all to me, especially the nudes.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Take off your pants…


Oh .. no … not you!!!



***pours acid in eyes