Male sub thread

[rick_j21]

I just wanted to say thank you to all who have posted or commented or messaged me personally. I love having a place to let loose who I am and grow in who I am. Though there is no collar around my name it doesn't diminish who I am as a submissive. Though at the moment I am not serving any one I like to think I am still growing as a person and it's really nice to have a community here where one can openly express who he/she is without being thought of as some kind of nutcase. Lol though I have seen the personal attacks on lit most people are kind and I love that.

 

[MissTaken]

This is one of the more amazing posts I have read around here lately.

Thank you so much for sharing your reality with us.

~anelize

ditto.

I hope to read more from OMalley and all the male submissives.

 

[Guest]

 

[MissTaken]

Gentlemen,

What was it like when you first discovered submission? When you first went to your knees to your Lady? How did you or do you know when the Lady is the Lady for you?

When you are submitting, do you feel it is an issue of punishment or something else?

Scooter was reading some writings from a male sub who seemed to hire a Domme on a regular basis. The writings were focussed on what She did to him and did not touch on the mental aspect of submission. His response was, "This guy just doesn't get it. He is really missing out."

What do you think?

I am one who enjoys reading and learning from other's experiences and would love to hear from our male submissives on these things!

 

[yessmiss]

Gentlemen,

What was it like when you first discovered submission? When you first went to your knees to your Lady? How did you or do you know when the Lady is the Lady for you?

Being a modern, liberated man who beleives in the equality of the sexes i had a difficult and painful time discovering and accepting my submissive nature on a conscious level. i was fighting it claws and teeth!

Always drawn to strong and dominant women in vanilla relations i soon found myself struggling to be on equal grounds, in vain. i had always been afraid that if i let her take the lead i wan't respected by her and i also had issues with trusting her love for me if i would yield.

Growing close to 40 with several promising relationships unfullfilled and a divorce from a wonderful woman, i had to stop and "analyze" what had went wrong, on a deeper level. On focusing on my refusal to let go of my "male ego", and foremost issues of *TRUST* and *RESPECT* which are paramount to a D/s (or any) relation i found that i had been fighting myself, rather than for myself. i think that my misconception was that if we weren't equal in powerterms we also weren't equal in worth.

Submission is not my kink, it is my essence!

i am not the grovelling, "please, punish me Mistress" type of submissive, but a rather strongwilled person, who also enjoy playfulness, teasing her a little and having a good time. But when it comes to issues that count, i submit to the fact that she is the boss!

When i, for the first time decided that i would try to act on my new revelation, i soon after met a woman whom i said to "I want You to teach me everything You know!" and that basically sums it up, IMO.

Originally posted by MissTaken When you are submitting, do you feel it is an issue of punishment or something else?

Submitting is not punishment, it is acceptance of the state of affairs, i am subserviant, yielding (towards the One) and pleasing in nature, so it is a relief of not having to struggle for an idea of equality that isn't mine.

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, yessmiss for your post.

I understand your thinking, your need and your desires. It can be a challenge to balance the mores and conditioning of a societal structure that speaks to gender equality when everything we crave opposes our previous thinking.

It was Shadowsdream who often confronted me on the forum wiht my "vanilla" thinking and the need to clear myself of the same. (Many thanks to her.)

I do believe that our "vanilla" thinking can be the biggest challenge for those entering into BDSM and can also be an obstacle to the development of that special relationship. In opening yourself to your first Lady and asking her to teach you as though you were a blank slate you did yourself and anyone you become involved with a great service.

 

[draig OMalley]

Thanks for the kind comments about my posting to this thread of a couple of days ago. This is an enlightening thread. In response to MissTaken’s questions above, yessmiss’s last comment is very well put and applies to me also: “…it is acceptance of the state of affairs, i am subserviant, yielding (towards the One) and pleasing in nature, so it is a relief of not having to struggle for an idea of equality that isn't mine.”

I don’t remember when I first discovered submission, because it has always been part of my psyche. I know that as a child I was fascinated with the male role models in my life, especially my father and older brother. I was also fascinated with the female role models in my life, my mother and older sisters. Those two dynamics acted on me in totally different ways. From the male-centered fascination, I developed what my mate calls my “rough” exterior. It is not meant in a bad sense—it houses the persona and the set of disciplines and skills I present to the world at large, and it has served me well, especially in competitive career situations. From the females, I developed what we call my “smooth” interior. It is the essence, the liquid core, of my being, and it is where my most secret and honest sensitivities reside. It was not that the males in my life did not also affect my sensitivities to some extent—they were loving, warm people—just not as much as the females did. I should also state here that I do not regard males as rough and females as smooth—it is not a generalization on my part. Rather, it is how I regard two perspectives of my own nature, not anybody else’s.

Anyway, throughout my life, it had been difficult for me to penetrate that rough exterior and relieve the true feelings that need expressing. Submitting to my mate accomplishes this with varying degrees of success. Sometimes it can be very disappointing. Usually it is very gratifying for both of us. Occasionally it is euphoric. I knew she was the Lady for me the day I first approached her about my special, mysterious yearning (we had already been together five years), and she responded with very thoughtful questions, to which I said to myself, “I am going to bare my soul to this wonderful person and trust her completely.”

The role of punishment is not central, but is an important one for us. She is a person who has a gift of seeing things very clearly most of the time. I am a person who tends to cover myself up (like a fighter) and hide things, especially my true feelings. I am scared of vulnerability. That process of covering up often involves using my very inventive imagination to twist, spin, and just plain pervert the truth—without knowing I am doing it. One of the rewards of submitting to her is that she skillfully leads me to uncover and look at myself. As I am unwrapping layers of distortion, I often feel the need for punishment. She never punishes me of her own volition—it is always I, after having been led to face my need for it, who asks to be punished. Once I do, then I am at her mercy. I have never regretted it.

PS--being inexperienced with using this format, can someone help me with the mechanics? I wanted to attach a link to my stories, but have no idea how to do it. Thanks.

 

[ghosst_K&H]

It's been my exerience that male submissives come a dime a dozen, and there is so much "compitition" in the ranks, finding a Dom/me, contacting her (or him if you prefer) trying to stand out, making a good first imrpession, without acting like a Troll, or HNG, takes a lot of time, effort, but the rewards can be outstanding I have known I wanted to submit myself to the right Woman for a long time, but never thought I could find what I was looking for. I did the nilla marriage, divorce, dating, breaking up, and finally decided that it was time for me to find what I needed to make me happy.

I joined a local munch group, and have met many local "kinksters", and my two Dommes,

My advice to male subs, looking for a lifestyle Dom/me, and not just kinky sex is, get involved, the more you post, the more your profile is read. Find a local munch group you can join, trust me this works Be polite, but be yourself, don't whine, snivel, make promises you can't or wont keep. Pretned your first contact is a job interview, be polite, honest, mind your manners, don't talk about likes, dislikes, experience, prefrences, just introduce yourself. Make sure you fill out your profile as much as you possibly can, and be as honest as you can, first impressions are the most important ones. Don't expect a reply, you may not get one, but chances are if you were polite, honest, and sincere, then the Dom/me will probably contact you and ask for more information.


i am new to this site, and fourm, and shall endevour to add as much as my limited experience allows.

 

[Shadowsdream]

It's been my exerience that male submissives come a dime a dozen, and there is so much "compitition" in the ranks, finding a Dom/me, contacting her (or him if you prefer) trying to stand out, making a good first imrpession, without acting like a Troll, or HNG, takes a lot of time, effort, but the rewards can be outstanding I have known I wanted to submit myself to the right Woman for a long time, but never thought I could find what I was looking for. I did the nilla marriage, divorce, dating, breaking up, and finally decided that it was time for me to find what I needed to make me happy.

I joined a local munch group, and have met many local "kinksters", and my two Dommes,

My advice to male subs, looking for a lifestyle Dom/me, and not just kinky sex is, get involved, the more you post, the more your profile is read. Find a local munch group you can join, trust me this works Be polite, but be yourself, don't whine, snivel, make promises you can't or wont keep. Pretned your first contact is a job interview, be polite, honest, mind your manners, don't talk about likes, dislikes, experience, prefrences, just introduce yourself. Make sure you fill out your profile as much as you possibly can, and be as honest as you can, first impressions are the most important ones. Don't expect a reply, you may not get one, but chances are if you were polite, honest, and sincere, then the Dom/me will probably contact you and ask for more information.


i am new to this site, and fourm, and shall endevour to add as much as my limited experience allows.

BINGO!

and welcome...I hope W/we will hear your voice on a regular basis.

 

[MissTaken]

Does anyone know of any sites that can be of assistance specifically to male submissives?


Thank you everyone for posting.
I am finding this thread to be very valuable.

 

[fundy069]

I AM SWITCH MALE BUT I LOVE BEING SUBMISSIVE TO A SEXY WOMAN. MY WIFE AND ME HAD A VERY KINKY AND ACTIVE SEX LIFE UP UNTIL A FEW YEARS AGO. MY WIFE IS MY MISTRESS. SHE DOES NOT LIKE TO TAKE CONTROL ANY MORE. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT.
I HAVE A JOB OF AUTHORITY WERE I HAVE TO BE IN CONTROL. I THINK THAT IS WHY I LOVE TO BE A SUB. I GET TO GIVE UP ALL CONTROL. NO STRESS JUST PLEASURE FOR MY LADY. THE KINKER THE BETTER BECAUSE THAT MEANS I HAVE TO GIVE UP MORE AND MORE CONTROL. WHICH MAKES IT HOTTER AND HOTTER.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE ALOT OF MALE SUB STUFF OUT THERE. WHAT I HAVE SEEN IN THE PAST WAS A LOT OF MALE SUBS. BUT READING HERE I SEE DIFFERENTLY. WELL THAT IS MY 2 CENTS.

 

[amsubone]

i was drawn to this thread by its title and after reading a couple of the posts felt as if i wanted to write as well. i'm not really certain if i am a switch or a submissive as i have fantasies that seem to run the gamut. i have spent, however, several mutually satisfying years in D/s relationship as the D. Not until several months after her death in an automobile accident ended the relationship did i entertain any thoughts that i was anything other than a Dominant. Since i live in a small community and am somewhat visible i have not actively pursued another D/s relationship. But i have, however, spent much time reading stories and reflectong on our relationship and other failed relationships since then.

One thing i've come to know for certain are my own feelings of a lingering se of jealousy regarding the intensity of her experience as a submissive. She seemed to find great freedom in placing her trust in me which allowed her to have a deeper more fulfilling/satisfying experience. We had even spent time talking about that very thing and how grateful she was for the depth relationship we had and the safety she experienced. In addition, as i have read more my fantasy life has taken a turn and increasingly i find the idea of being in the submissive role becoming a greater and greater turn-on, and while it is only fantasy, it has become incredibly erotic and satisfying.

i'm not certain if i have just built something in my mind that is unreal and have fallen in love with an ideal, or that there is a submissive place in me that is looking for satisfaction. i also know from other real-life experiences that i am not particularly aggressive in business or other arenas and do, in fact, take pleasure in pleasing others.

Most of my fantasy life focuses on being "forced" to submit, be feminized, perform oral/anal sex, or denied release. i suppose this indicates my desire to be taken out of the decision making process, but am too inexperienced to know, for certain. As my experience is fairly limited i find myself in the midst of a dilema.

Much like yesmiss, i seem to be attracted to strong or dominant men and women and have, since my last relationship, had several unfulfilling relationships. In addition, i also have two teenage sons who are in high school and live with me at home so it is difficult for me to travel and to pursue my interests away from the city in which i live.

i shall follow this thread with great interest.

 

[yessmiss]

Does anyone know of any sites that can be of assistance specifically to male submissives?

www.orgasmdenial.com

has been of great assistance to *me*, judge for yourselves.

Playful, serious, lots of resources, plenty of information in threads; but perhaps a little too "niched" for everyone...

 

[MissTaken]

Synchronicity!

Thank you, yessmiss.

This site and topic are high on my list for study.

 

[yessmiss]

Re: Synchronicity!

Thank you, yessmiss.

This site and topic are high on my list for study.

You are welcome, Miss T.
Please let me know how You liked it.

~yess

 

[SweetDommes]

male subs...
I happen to adore them and each one that has stepped through My doorway has been an incredibly strong human being. So whats wrong with them? Not a god damned thing!
Are they kinked differently than female submissives? Generally but not always!
Are they less emotional? Generally but not always!
Do they dress differently? Generally but not always!
Are they more obedient? No!
Are they less obedient? No!
Are they as domestically inclined? Generally yes and often more kinked to the domestic side of the relationship than not, but not always!
One is as horny as the other (male/female)!
Male subs are male..fem subs are female...that pretty much is the only difference I see when I look at the two genders...maybe that is My Bi side speaking!

We just wanted to re-visit this wonderful post.

Personally I can't stand a sub that approachs me as though he has no value. Why would I want something of no or little value? A bright, confident boy is a joy.

I also can't stand to see those boys who have been made to feel less masculine becuase of their submission. To us, submission implies, loss of control, not loss of strength.

 

[MissTaken]

We just wanted to re-visit this wonderful post.

Personally I can't stand a sub that approachs me as though he has no value. Why would I want something of no or little value? A bright, confident boy is a joy.

I also can't stand to see those boys who have been made to feel less masculine becuase of their submission. To us, submission implies, loss of control, not loss of strength.

A wonderful post.

Now, where are all those strong, self confident boys?



Sincerely, I enjoy reading the thoughts and stories of our male subs.

 

[scooterbum]

Male Submissive

In my case I was starting in a normal vanilla relationship and at a

certain point my beautiful partner asked me to spank her.

I complied and she certainly seemed to enjoy it.......though it did'

nt really do much sexually for me.

At some point in time she asked me if she could spank me and I

thought 'what the hell' and said go for it!..


Well, she did and we began to see that we both were enjoying

her spanking me more than the reverse and as our relationship

has progressed has employed clamps, floggers and cbt in out

relationship.....


I have never felt more loved by a woman in my life.

Scooterbum

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Male Submissive

I have never felt more loved by a woman in my life.

Scooterbum

And that is at is should be.

You are loved.

 

[Megafurvert]

SUBBIES RULE!!!

hi A/all... i just wanted to say that i love being a subbie male... pleasing M'lady is all that i live for and i love her dearly!! i have only ever loved one other woman in my life and that is my first Mistress!! i lost her in a car accident and she died in my arms.... but on to better subjects!! M'lady is a wonderful person.... She is new as far a Dommes go but i find Her to be one of the best and most eager owners i have ever had!!! i don't think i can imagine a life w/o Her in it!! i love Lady of my heart!!!!

 

[MissTaken]

To all you sexy male subs:

What is your favorite part of submitting to your Lady?

 

[ghosst_K&H]

TPE for me....

I love the feeling of being under her total control. at her mercy, unable to stop her from doing whatever she pleases with me.

 

[MissTaken]

TPE for me....

I love the feeling of being under her total control. at her mercy, unable to stop her from doing whatever she pleases with me.

So, how do you feel when she begins engaging in something you don't particularly enjoy and is obviously doing so ONLY for her own pleasure with little regard for yours?

 

[ghosst_K&H]

So, how do you feel when she begins engaging in something you don't particularly enjoy and is obviously doing so ONLY for her own pleasure with little regard for yours?

We have safe words, and will use them if the scene is getting uncomfortable for any of us 3.

I am her (their) boy, and i feel that they have the right to try to expand my horizons, with a caveat that i can always say no, this is not for me, or i'm not ready for this.

W/we believe in safe,sane, and consensual play, and any one of us can stop playing at any time.

Would i go along with her plans? more than likely...i am the submissive in this relationship, and would do almost anything to please my Dommes, including being uncomfortable.

 

[SweetDommes]

[QUOTEi am the submissive in this relationship, and would do almost anything to please my Dommes, including being uncomfortable. [/B][/QUOTE]


He is going to family thanksgiving festivities with us (check out the thanksgiving thread)