Questions about munches...

[aerofreak]

So this group doesn't have a set day and time each month that they meet?

Can I ask, what state are you located in?

no, because everybodies schedule changes so much that they haven't been able to set a specific day to to it each month ... honestly, most of the problem is me - there are only about 8 of us who go regularly, & when 2 of us can't be there because of work, it makes the meetings pretty boring (unless they are play parties ... which we refuse to participate in with people that we've never freakin met before).

we're in IN

 

[aerofreak]

::lurk mode off::
As someone who is on the board of my local munch, I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. The other folks are right, in general, munches are held in a public place. The general idea is to provide a non-threatening venue to meet like-minded folks. At our munch we have a meet&greet for a certain period of time, folks order food, etc. Once the restaurant closes, we have a discussion, demo, workshop, etc. We stress no toys, no fetishwear, no collars, etc... but you always have a few idgits who don't understand that this isn't a playparty LOL Now I used to be involved with a munch group in another state that did have play parties afterwards... but the rule was, you had to come to the public munch first before you got invited back. And no hard feelings if you weren't comfortable.

Laura
::resume lurk mode::

thanks ladypain - that's kinda what we figured, and we talked to the girl in charge - we're trying to work it out. we're gonna go to the meeting next week, and if it sucks as bad as the last one did, then we will be done with them & just stick to our boy's munch down here.

 

[aerofreak]

Back for more advice

Well, we thought we had solved the problem so that we were comfortable with the group having separate scening parties and regular meetings, but I guess not ... We did go to the meeting last Friday, and it went somewhat better than the bonfire, but that was mostly because of two people and only them. The rest of them still seemed to not really want us there. The current problem is that we discussed with the leader of our group our problems and our feelings about it, suggesting that we restrict the play-parties to people who had been to previous munches. She agreed that it was a good idea and that we should do that, but then has been posting to the group at large about the next gathering, which is a play party. I objected, pointing out that we had discussed it and I thought agreed upon that we wouldn't let everyone come to the play parties as their first meetings, and now I'm catching nine kinds of hell about it (including from Holly, as a matter of fact). But I feel the need to stick to my guns on this one ... what do you all think?

 

[His_sugar]

no, because everybodies schedule changes so much that they haven't been able to set a specific day to to it each month ... honestly, most of the problem is me - there are only about 8 of us who go regularly, & when 2 of us can't be there because of work, it makes the meetings pretty boring (unless they are play parties ... which we refuse to participate in with people that we've never freakin met before).

we're in IN

Me too. Northern Indiana.

I hope you find a good group to join.

 

[aerofreak]

Me too. Northern Indiana.

I hope you find a good group to join.

We know that the one down here is good, and we're encouraging our friends who are in the group to come down here with us. I'm just disappointed because people who claim to want to help us learn and who claim to like us, treat us like we are stupid because of our age and make us feel like we have to leave almost as soon as we get up there.

As for my comment to the group about what I thought we had agreed on, I was told (by the owner of the group, who used to claim that "it's not my group") that it's her group, her decision, her rules ... so basically, my opinion doesn't count for shit.

 

[FungiUg]

Re: Back for more advice

[...]and now I'm catching nine kinds of hell about it (including from Holly, as a matter of fact). But I feel the need to stick to my guns on this one ... what do you all think?

For safety reasons, I personally would refuse to have anything more to do with a group that encouraged just anyone to turn up to a play party. It's just too fraught!

Either stick to your guns or get out. Don't waver on this one. Because sooner or later, it's going to turn into a huge mess if they leave it open to anybody turning up without first coming along to a couple of munches and people getting to know them.

In my personal opinion, play parties should be invite only, and everyone invited should be okayed by the group. Yes, that can cause factions, but it's better to split play parties into compatible factions and have everyone comfortable.

 

[aerofreak]

Re: Re: Back for more advice

For safety reasons, I personally would refuse to have anything more to do with a group that encouraged just anyone to turn up to a play party. It's just too fraught!

Either stick to your guns or get out. Don't waver on this one. Because sooner or later, it's going to turn into a huge mess if they leave it open to anybody turning up without first coming along to a couple of munches and people getting to know them.

In my personal opinion, play parties should be invite only, and everyone invited should be okayed by the group. Yes, that can cause factions, but it's better to split play parties into compatible factions and have everyone comfortable.

We agree ... and I'm not budging on my opinion about what should happen regarding play-parties. However, because of some concurrent drama in the group, I'm not currently allowed to post to the list because I'm "irrational and upset and it will only get worse if post". I am ready to leave the group, but Holly wants to stay in a bit longer. I'm about to give up on munches entirely, this shit isn't worth it.

 

[FungiUg]

Well, don't be too hasty about tarring everyone with the same brush. Also, groups do go through dramas -- we have them occasionally here on Lit as well.

Admittedly, I'm not one who attends munches often anyway, but that's for entirely different reasons. (Claustrophobia) Still, I know a lot of people appreciate being able to talk openly and make friends with people who have similar interests.

One of the things I did discover on getting into BDSM is that I automatically expected people in BDSM to be open minded and accepting. In fact, while there are some people this is true of, it's still the exception rather than the rule.

So... it's really your call. I'm not a fan of dramas either (lived through too many of them for my liking), but dramas don't last forever. Maybe some time out would be a good response? And just go along to the munches with your boy instead.

 

[aerofreak]

I'm not really that bad ... I definately don't think that all munches are like this, but I AM definately tired of the bullshit. I know that drama happens everywhere sometimes, but this is silly. People are getting snippy now, and if they aren't saying things to upset others, they are intentionally not saying things (again, to upset people).

I don't expect people who are into BDSM to be that much more openminded than the general public, but I was hoping that by joining the group and getting to know people rt who are into the lifestyle, that we would learn. Instead, we are isolated and ignored because 1- we are younger than any of the other dominants (although the subs are all accepted, regardless of age), and 2- we aren't willing to scene with random people. The only discussions revolve around scening, playing, toys, etc ... nothing about how to deal with issues within the lifestyle ... the whole things has turned into a dictatorship ... *sigh*

 

[Nomar69dragon]

Well now....

Guys you are lucky to even went to a mumchie before. I never have beacuse of the club rules. The club i worked for and me being a staff Master was not allowed to socialize with the customers it was stated and enforced my the enforcers which well were trained by me to be deadly. So i had to stick with myself and my own little subbies on the side were a No-No for me. But i wasnt worried i planed on being a free agent and so made it so. Now i can go to munchies ( where's the dope?) hehe
But now i have to find a group besides you good people to socialize with. I feel stunted and rejected unless i can socialize i also want to have fiiends with my same intests. Hell i am 39 and all i know is people that you can pay to do things for you.(anything) That sucks. They are not real friends and so i am on a search for a group of friends besides this site that is. And why dose it say under my name that i am virgin, that just makes me want to slap my cpu now . and how do you post those cool little pic's under your name. (sratches head) I also am prepareing the way for when i get my bride to me and she is into bondage also and BI. but i figure thats a plus for me hehe (evil grin)
Nomar69dragon

 

[NemoAlia]

Nomar, it sounds like you have a lot to offer our threads about professional BDSM! If you're interested in finding them and joining them, check out the Library thread at the top of this BDSM page.

Once you've posted a few dozen times, the caption under your name will change from "Virgin" to "Experienced," at which point you may justifiably throw yourself a party. At 100 posts, you get to upload a picture (avatar) by which the rest of us can learn to recognize you.

Welcome, and have fun!

 

[Nomar69dragon]

Nemoaila where? (looks stupid)

What thread Lady guru?
i must be real blind or not smart here LOl well i am always behiend the eight ball anyway. (sighs)
the thread that says main discusion board or main libetric forums or BDSM talks? hummm (slaps computer for being so dumb)
sighs
nomar69dragon

 

[Nomar69dragon]

How stupid can i be?

I think i figured it out. These posts are what makes you rank go up? right?

Salps head against wall. then turns to his naked cheerleader btween his legs and grins at her in a mean way. ........
She takes the blame
Nomar69dragon

 

[NemoAlia]

Yoohooooo! Anelize! We have a Library-less newcomer over here!

Hm, our librarian's asleep at her post. Her library is here. Follow that link, and have a look around at some of our past and ongoing threads.

Enjoy!

 

[Nomar69dragon]

Ahhh Miss Guru Lady....

Wooot i see i posted 10 times (scratches head and also bleeding from wall hits.) dose this mean i am allowed to have free rien and jump in to those subject that i like? Am i allowed to beat my subbie for making me look stuipd? (grins evilly) Lady nemoailia thank you for your help (points at her and says she is smart) and i found out that the muchies site in my area is no longer in action bummer. Oh well i dont want to go where i used to work at. my club beacuse the people may have seen me before and well i had a scary rep. And since it was not my fault that i was ordered or paid to bad things to people in that area it is just embaressing that when they regconize me they run. I feel a little bit of my self go away ever time that happnes to me. Belive me when i say i am a nice Master and a nice guy to friends that is hehehe. I like it here you people seem friendly and smarter than me or it seems so to me. Who cares about IQ or mine. I feel like a stunted loner and i hate that (REACHES OUT TO YOU NICE PEOPLE) see i am trying to move back into society with nice thoughts happy thoughts and good intentions. (for those that may know me) Oh my were shape changer story is up to 12 pages now lol i write slow. soon i will post it as a frist story here and wooot i will be on top of the world with good fellings i may even give my naked one here a doggy treat. thank you people of this great site.

 

[aerofreak]

Update on our issues

Well, we have chats on yahoo every Monday night, and tonight, some of the main characters (minus the leader of the group) were in the chat room talking about some of the issues that Holly and I have had all along - the random scening, the alcohol present and consumed at said scening, and the fact (that we were unaware) that people under 21 were drinking and scening at the bonfire as well. So I am currently somewhere between saddened and vindicated, as they decided to start taking some of the decisions away from the leader - it was her decision to allow anyone to come to the bonfire at her house, and it is her "master" (and I won't go into why I put the "" around it, suffice it to say that it's appropriate), that is under 21 and was drinking and scening (not the only one, but the one who did the most). The leader had already decided that each bonfire/not just normal munchie would be headed by a different Dom/me, and the one in charge of the next one is moving it to his house and making it a carpentry party rather than a play party - he's going to teach us to make cool stuff *grin*. So hopefully things will now all work out for the best *keeps fingers crossed*

Again, thank you to everyone who gave advice and/or supported us. Although we do of course feel the need for rt friends who are in the lifestyle, this site has been a great help to both of us.

 

[Nomar69dragon]

Hey i did not know you guys had a chat room..

which room and when guys i want talk to you guys to.
I usualy hang out at the freaky furry forset lol those people are insane (blushes) and i am not the not dragon that humps legs there nope not me.
Nor am i the dragon that chaseing inocent furry bunnys or cats around trying to molest them.
Nope i plead the fifth on that.
Nomar69dragon

turns into a bady dragon looking for a leg to hump looking.......

 

[aerofreak]

Re: Hey i did not know you guys had a chat room..

which room and when guys i want talk to you guys to.
I usualy hang out at the freaky furry forset lol those people are insane (blushes) and i am not the not dragon that humps legs there nope not me.
Nor am i the dragon that chaseing inocent furry bunnys or cats around trying to molest them.
Nope i plead the fifth on that.
Nomar69dragon

turns into a bady dragon looking for a leg to hump looking.......

That would be the chat room for the munch group that my gf & I have been having trouble with, not for here. And it's closed now until next Monday... I bailed after some new chick came in & was basically worshipping a guy that jerked us around & broke my heart and the room closed shortly after. However, I'm sure that you can find a room there that you fit into, there are a ton.