Submissive 'Thought for the Day' Calendar 2007

[catalina_francisco]

June 28th - words of kajira311

" Just let your Sir guide you
Sweetheart, I'm a large lady, and I've played at clubs and parties all around my state. I was just telling someone, I've met more acceptance there than at most churches I've visited.

You want to please your Sir, right? And you know he wouldn't lead you where you would be slighted? So take a deep breath or three and just put your hand in his and trust him. I guarantee you that no matter what you look like there is probably someone there at your gathering who is larger or shorter or plainer or whatever deficiency you think you have. Yes, you are being watched, but it's not so that you can be criticized but so that the others in your group can share your energies. Close your eyes if you need to, but don't hide your beautiful face behind a blindfold. Come out and let your fellow subs and Doms in your group know and love you."

How Do I Get Past My Shyness?

 

[catalina_francisco]

June 29th - words of Hummingbyrd

"I'm seven months out of an engagement where I was the one constantly lied to. The truth would not have destroyed me the way finding out about the lies did and the implosion destroyed us both. I currently have a Dom that is a good fit for the short term that I am having fun with now. No collar, just exploration, though I do adore him. I have another, who is married but local chatting me up now. I understand his need to look outside his marriage for a physical relationship and I respect it. I'd like to pursue something with this man, but having been on the other side of the lies, I'm struggling."

Honesty and Trust

 

[catalina_francisco]

June 30th - words of A Desert Rose

"While I don't always agree with you Catalina, here again I do. I rarely give advice on this board or speak seriously about my relationship. And you pointed out one of the major reasons why I don't.

While this thread is NOT an example of it, it seems that many times people come here for advice and have a dozen reason why the advice can't/won't work. I have to wonder, why even ask if you can't glean something from the advice of others? No one has to take any advice asked for, but certainly there's something to be learned from what most people say.

It's not (LOL I did that on purpose) like I read a romance novel last week and viola! discovered that I am a submissive. I've been in this lifestyle for almost as long as some posters have been alive. While I don't claim to know everything or have all the answers, (and few posters here who have been in this lifestyle as long or longer than I make that claim either) I, like others, do have some experience and understanding.

What I do see is a lot of newish or just well read lifestylers giving erroneous and misleading advice and then hailed as authorities on the subject by other even newerish (I made that word up, it's mine now) lifestlyers. I find that most disturbing."

How Do You Balance...

 

[catalina_francisco]

July 1st - words of BiBunny

"Resident horse geek says:

Vinegar will strip oils from leather. Horse people use a vinegar/water soak on tack that's been over-oiled. It doesn't really harm it, though, unless you leave the leather there for a REALLY LONG TIME. I think it would be ok to soak your cuffs in a vinegar solution to stop the fabric bleeding, wenchie. The leather may dry out a little, in which case, you'd want to re-oil it with PURE neatsfoot oil (not the compound--it can rot leather and stitching) or something similar. Just don't use too much oil, or it'll rub off, too, and you'll be right back where you started from."

Leather Cuff Question

 

[catalina_francisco]

July 2nd - words of SubKekiLee

"I know it wasnt my family that brought this into my life, it was a family friend who came from out of town and I heard them being a young woman I was intriqued to hear that.. and then as growing up I wanted to explore cause I am always the one in control, as I am a boss at work, I am mother and now a wife.... So it is that I like to not have to think when it comes to D/s and I like that he makes the decisions... It is a feeling of euphoria that I cannot explain.... although I do know I disapoint my Dom sometimes but sometimes I think I do it to experience more punishment.."

Has Your Past Influenced Your Relationship Needs?

 

[catalina_francisco]

July 3rd - words of sexycaz22

"I have already joined up on CollarMe and I look forward to exchanging some messages with some of the Doms who have sent me some messages. And hopefully, I will find the right Dom to build a meaningful online D/s relationship.

I have been thinking quite a lot about taking that plunge and step into the reality of the BDSM world and after reading on the BDSM Talk boards, and there are quite a few people who have gave advice to some other people.

I have made a decision and I WILL not be taking the plunge into the reality of the BDSM world for a while, for a number of reasons and instead to pursue a meaningful online D/s relationship if I can.

But, one day in the future, maybe in a few months or in a year, I will be taking the big step and explore beyonds my online experiences and to experience the BDSM world for real. And I am really looking forward to that big moment if that does happen. *smiles*

So, people, even if you were not aware, thank Y/you A/all for all Y/your advice and kind words."

I Need Some Advice

 

[catalina_francisco]

July 4th - words of HottieMama

"i don't think that "trust" is just something you blindly have. i think it is built over time...step by step..and i think the more hurt you have been the longer it takes and the more patience it requires on the other person's part, if they truly want a "deeper relationship."

Trust- Gaining/Lost Or Otherwise

 

[HottieMama]

Thanks Cat.

That quote was a trip in the way back time machine for me.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thanks Cat.

That quote was a trip in the way back time machine for me.

Not a bad one i hope.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

July 5th - words of Etoile

"I don't think any one class of people is better than another. Some men are more dominant than some women. Some women are more dominant than some men. Some people don't fit into male or female and are dominant anyway. I actually rather dislike the idea of supremacy - I usually hear it in a FemDom way, that a male sub is a lowly little worm, etc. I haven't heard that as much from the male perspective - it's usually more about "I am the man and I am stronger" rather than "YOU are the lowly one." I don't think anybody is more "supreme" than any other just based on XX or XY chromosomes, it depends on the individual."

Female Slaves and the 1950's Lifestyle

 

[catalina_francisco]

July 6th - words of Blushing Bottom

"As for me I have never used my safe word...almost once when a playmate was trying to fist me. He was able to tell it wasn't going to happen and stopped on his own. I did however learn on that day that fisting was a hard limit for me and remains as such today."

The Use Of Safewords

 

[catalina_francisco]

July 7th - words of Bandit58

"This is how it works for us Any time He needs me for anything, I'm there. That's it, period.

He is always Dom, I'm always sub. It's there, all the time. Sure we have fun, kiss and cuddle and joke around and stuff, that's what being in a relationship is all about.

Our D/s relationship started out as bedroom kink. But being naturally submissive, it has gradually evolved to outside that. Being His carer has given me the opportunity to take my submissiveness and make it something useful and joyful instead of a curse, as when I was married to my first domineering (not dominant) husband. "

BDSM - Lifestyle or Not?

 

[catalina_francisco]

July 8th - words of serijules

"Usually I would get up in arms about something like that, but it's rather nice to have a warning that an entire group of people wouldn't be attractive to ME, neither physically nor in characteristics.

I don't outwardly judge on appearance....and I would never say "oh, she's blond and thin, I wouldn't like her" but in my experience, the "ideal" woman or man is usually not for me. I love curves. I like small breasts. I like big bear of men. Maybe these people just realize that the less than perfect body often times results in a real down to earth personality and they just can't relate? *snickers*

Thin is the new fat for me. Extremely thin people are just not a turn-on for me at first look, I need something more before I'm going to find them attractive, just as my rather overweight frame is not a turn-on for many others. I just don't find bones and angles appealing at first look. I can get past it though, as many other things are much more appealing.

A lot of attractive people are very full of themselves. That's a major turn-off for me. Not all, of course, buy many are. So I naturally tend to be drawn towards people that are less than perfect, as their personality is usually much more up my alley."

Not My Sort of BDSM Group?

 

[catalina_francisco]

July 9th - words of CuriousSweetness

"Umm... I'm not sure how to start this, or if I've even chosen the right place for it, but I know I need help, or some kind of advice, because I'm very unsure of what happened no less than 30mins ago.

I was talking to a male friend of mine this morning about my being curious about BDSM, and how the thought of experiencing something even close to it would make me feel.

He surprised me by showing up this afternoon, and showing/teaching me what being dominated was all about. He taught me that I needed to be able to handle pain, take orders, and be able to let go of my control.

Near the end I got such a feeling of intensity. I couldn't believe what was happening. My senses suddenly felt so alive. I found myself really wanting to please him.

And now I'm sitting here feeling confused about it all. I mean is this what I really want to experience all the time, or is it just another sexual experince for me? Another notch on my belt?

I really don't know. I hope I'm not letting my curious nature get me in too deep.

Is what I'm feeling normal?

If anyone can help me, that would be great."

First Time Experience

 

[FurryFury]

July 10 the words of Etoile:

Kudos and applause to you for doing it. A lot of submissives, when asked to play the opposite role, get squirmy and insist they simply cannot do it. But I have always felt that being dominant on command is just another part of being submissive. If you do it, you are following orders, and there should be no mental disconnect there. I'm not saying people should instantly know what to do without asking for help, or even enjoy the change. But my theory is, if you don't at least TRY, now that's willful disobedience!

http://forum.literotica.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=25056713

From the thread:
Online Domination question.....
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=556306

 

[FurryFury]

July 11, the words of Catalina:

I would suggest talking to him about how he feels he want to be dominated, and what is definately not possible or wanted. Not everyone reacts to the same ways and so it is more important to connect with what would possibly work for those in question, than anonymous ideas pulled out of a hat from multiple people. There is nothing worse than having a hunger, and then having someone try to feed it with all the wrong nutrients. Also from your own standpoint, you might find it helpful once you know what sends his pulse racing how you feel in that same situation, what you hunger for, how it works for you...this can be translated into a situation where you return the favour with the right headspace as opposed to playing the role of trying to please from a perspective you do not feel entirely comfortable with at this point.

Catalina

http://forum.literotica.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=25056918

From the thread:
Online Domination question.....
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=556306

 

[FurryFury]

July 12 The Words of Missyme:

I chose the second option, as it was the closest to our balance. I'm not micromanaged, but he has a veto in everything I do. He's not interested in micromanaging, as it would be too much work for him. I can decide for myself what I wear and at what time I do my duties, such as housework. However, I know what kind of clothes he likes and I try to dress up they way I think he'd want me to. I don't respond very well to very strict micromanaging, and he has used that as a punishment for a few days once.

Micromanaging makes me feel somehow inadequate. I feel like he thinks I don't know how to manage myself and make decisions, and that he feels obliged to take control over everything. I can understand the feeling of security someone might get from being micromanaged, but for me it's just frustrating. I get the safe feeling from knowing that even though I am allowed to make certain decisions, he still has a veto - even if he doesn't use it.

When making bigger decisions he sometimes asks for my opinion, but it's hardly ever really discussed.

http://forum.literotica.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=25046709

From the thread:

What kind of power balance do you have in your relationship?

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=556186

 

[Etoile]

Aw, thanks FF. I'm so happy to see my name here. *sniffles*

 

[FurryFury]

Aw, thanks FF. I'm so happy to see my name here. *sniffles*

As, always, it's well deserved.

 

[FurryFury]

July 13th the words of Chris 9:

Sexual vocab has often something to do with eating ('eating her out' being the only example I can find now in English, though I do have some in German). Maybe it has to do with the satisfaction of needs? The two most basic needs we have are eating and sleeping. To involve a partner in these needs seems logical, especially when the passionate lusty need kicks in. If this doesn't make sense to anybody else, please tell me so. Then I'd try saying it again in the morning.

http://forum.literotica.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=20991543

From the thread:

Biting/Chewing Fetish

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=491113

 

[FurryFury]

July 13 the words of NH23:

I can do that..lol I have been with my husband J since I was 15 years old, so 11 years. We have been poly for about the last two years or so. It was actually my husband's idea for us to open our marriage to others after I finally got the courage to tell him about my submissive desires. I told him expecting him to want a divorce, or think I was a freak, he's rather vanilla, but I was shocked by how he responded.

At first we started out "swinging" for lack of a better term. We decided the best way to start out would to be together for at least the first few times to see how we would react to things. We found that it was something that turned us both on..and we handled it a lot better than we thought we would.

About six months in I found someone that I really clicked with. He's been my Dom for the last year and a half or so (barring a two month break) This was also introducing something else into our marriage..actual polyamory. I fell head over heels in love with my Dom. We learned that it is possible to love more than one person..and it doesn't decrease our love for each other at all.

What works for us..
1. Communication - We talk, and talk, and talk..we discuss everything. It's very important to bring up any issues right away before they can fester into something else. We also sit down and discuss how things are going, even when there are no problems, just to connect to each other. All parties have to have the comfort of knowing if there is an issue, it can be discussed without hard feelings, and a solution can be worked on. (It's noteworthy I think to add that my husband and I are not in a D/s relationship)

2. Jealousy- I can't say that jealousy doesn't exist in poly relationships. It's human nature and it has come up in the relationship between J and I on occasion. The way we handle it is #1..lol. We talk about it, we discuss why one of us is having these feelings, and what can be done to fix things.

3. Understanding of each others needs- I have to give my husband the most credit here. Since he is vanilla he tries very hard to understand my desires and understand the dynamic between my Dom and I. To help him to understand this I've bought him books to read on D/s relationships and sent him links to websites to help him understand. It also all goes back to #1..lol. He knows if he has an issue he can talk to me and I will do my best to explain things to him.

4. What's good for the goose is good for the gander..lol- (again we are not in a D/s dynamic) A problem I've seen in a lot of poly relationships is that one partner wants to have their cake and eat it too.. They want the freedom to see other partners but don't like the idea of their S/O having that same freedom. My husband and I went into this "lifestyle" with the understanding that this was for the benefit for both of us, so that's never been an issue for us..but I think it's valid to bring up.

Ok BiBunny I hope this helps out some..lol

http://forum.literotica.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=25379206

From the thread:

Polyamory

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=561580

 

[FurryFury]

July 14 The words of Captians Wench:

I like your number 4 nh.

I've seen a number of times where one partner wanted to be able to have multiple partners but didn't want thier SO to be involved with any one else. It can work, in theory, just like most any situation I guess, but I have not witnessed a successfull harrem. I supose they are out there tho.

I think comunication is the key in most relationships, but it is vital here. When comunication breaks down, that's when things like jelousy and other ickies can fester and turn into something rotten. I think most issues can be avioded long before it does serious damage, if all parties keep the line of comunication open. This how ever is some times easier said than done. I consider myself a talker, but i have had my moments when I have pulled away and refused to talk. When I realize that I am having one of these moments, when I am pulling away and starting to let icky feelings bubble, I force myself to write a long email and I put every thing I'm feeling in it. No matter how petty it might sound to me, the tiniest of issues will go in this email. That gets things out there, and once they are out, they can be delt with.

http://forum.literotica.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=25379339

From the thread:

Polyamory

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=561580

 

[nh23]

Aww FF I'm honored. Thank You!

 

[FurryFury]

Well deserved!

 

[FurryFury]

BTW, can we finish this calendar???

If everyone on the forum found ONE post they really felt was cool, smart or whatever and posted it over the next week, I think we could.

What do you say? Can we do it? Yes we can!



*puts out cookies, candy, fruit, veggies, chips, dip, drinks and cheese platter*

Let's make it a party!