Submissive "Thought of the Day" Calendar 2005

[Aeroil]

Re: Re: males/females

Submissive is a submissive is a...bottom

I have never seen anyone take exception to genders on the threads. I don't see a lot of male pyls post, though. Not sure if they just don't post (ie lurk) or if there just aren't that many subscribed to Lit.

I think that females just happen to be more vocal, be it a PYL or a pyl.

yes we male subs are quite rare on this board, chasingshadowsx, garylee, apparently, and myself seem to be the only ones, the only ones I've seen anyway

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Re: males/females

yes we male subs are quite rare on this board, chasingshadowsx, garylee, apparently, and myself seem to be the only ones, the only ones I've seen anyway

LOL, then you need to stick around and read more as there are a few others than those you have noted. As lunarsubmissive says though, they don't tend to post as prolifically as female sub/slaves, but no, their numbers are not as high.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 18th - words of A Desert Rose

"Although I don't know the motivations behind your subs actions and I would never presume to know, I can understand some of the things you mention in your posts.

Sometimes people do things for reasons that are unclear and not until much later, if then, are they understood. I recently made a decision that I think, hurt someone and made him doubt himself. When in truth, I was trying to protect that person from future injury and pain. If that pain is inevitable for him, I can't control that. However, I could control how my actions would, perhaps, accelerate it.

It was not a decision I made easily or lightly, but I saw a train wreck coming and I chose to move the car off the tracks.

Sometimes, one has to be cruel to be kind..."

Crushed yet again

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 19th - words of sunfox

"Paranoid much?

People were responding to your post with their own opinions, a bizarre thing that is known to happen from time to time on a discussion board.

Several people stated that they have no expectation of privacy, so no, you're incorrect in your assumption that none of us have ever had our privacy taken away.

Surely you remember the saying about assuming things, right?

Geez. The thin skin I've been seeing lately. I don't know how some people manage to bear their floggings with proper subbish decorum. *puts on her Sublier Than Thou hat, just for Netzach, and stomps away*"



Privacy in a D/s Relationship

C

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 20th - words of redelicious

"I did make a sacrafice, though I wouldn't say I'm at peace with it. Up until now there hasn't been any compromise. I gave up a lot for the sake of keeping my marriage and family together. So yes, I am openly glad that my husband has to deal with the situation. "

So the sex therapist said...

C

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 21st - words of shy slave

"Soem BDSM people wear it like a badge and appear to expect a lack of understanding and respect from others, other BDSM people see things differently but are not surprised by a lack of understanding or respect from vanilla.

How can we ask the rest of the community to respect what we do if we cannot respect each other and how they choose to live their live.

O/l can be very real and R/l can be fantasy the lines can be blurred, and nothing fits into any particular box; unless within our life we want it to."

Online and Real Life BDSM

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 22nd - words of serijules

"My Domme delights in this. I asked her about this the other day after she commented on how we likely wouldn't need much lube at all for a fisting. Aren't most women like this? She smirked at me and said hardly. That surprised me."


How wet do YOU get?

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 23rd - words of Caitlynne

".......How many times have you seen the quiet woman or man reading a book in the park. S/he calls that a 'good time', because it meets his/her needs. Then there are the people who need to run every morning and/or play team sports on the weekend. To them that is a 'good time', because it meets their needs. One is mental, the other is physical. Is one more real than the other? No, of course not, they are jsut different.

Some people watch football on Sunday, and some people take a walk. Some people write a story, and some take photos'. All of these are chosen by the individual because they meet their needs for expression.

We all walk our own path. Hopefully, we are all aware of our needs on some level, and seek to increase our awareness of what we need in life and how to fulfill those needs. But spare me the 'dictation' on what is real and not real.

Some people are more physical than others, some more mental, some more emotional, and then there are those that are more spiritual ... and all the combinations of these factors at any given time in a person's life. We are all different, and we all probably practice our own brand of power games. The common thread is that whether on line or skin to skin, we're all dealing with power exchanges of some sort or another.

Unless I completely miss the boat, BDSM is about power being ceded by one, to another, to be used as they desire. How that expresses itself is a vast expanse of wonderfully human perv-iness.

I'll be honest I even take exception to saying it is real but different. Why? Because it is irrelevant to make such a distinction, it implies a hierarchy. Saying it is different does not say anything about whether it is real BDSM or not. Real is defined by each individual, not by the fans in the bleachers.

Mind you I am not an on-liner, but I take exception to some of the remarks about true and real BDSM vs. on-line.

If we want to talk about the nature of reality, then pull out your philosophy books and let's have a go.

I you want to talk about the varying degrees that people require physical, mental, emotional and spiritual stimulation, then pull up a chair and let's talk about it.

But let's be constructive here, the only thing you can know (and even that is not a certainty given the nature of the human mind) is what is REAL to you, the individual.

Sharing our POV and sharing what is real to us personally is a way to increase our experience, expand our awareness. I'm talking about opening up your mind and looking at the way (just perhaps) words can bind the soul just as surely as rope binds the body. The way that love can bind the heart and the way that the spirit can be touched by a word, spoken on-line, on the phone or from across the room. It is all different, but it is ALL BDSM.

Hopefully we can all agree that the optimum is a smattering of all physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual elements in BDSM. How we divvy up the proportions of each is merely individual taste, isn't it?"

Online and Real Life BDSM

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 24th - words of Kajira Callista

" I know both...have lived both (r/l longer then online)...and know how they are the same and in which ways they are different. If i thought my words would be heard i would waste no time explaining. Unfortunately this to me (and is not directed at you but just a general statement) is just another form of *holier then thou*. I dont mind when people live their lives thinking that their way is the only way... but when it hurts and offends other people, i dont like it much.
Do i crave skin to skin bdsm as part of my life? yes.
Do i tell people that something they are doing for real or feeling for real is fake? no
Do i chuckle to myself knowing that most who say r/l is the only way started online in the same way as a few ppl who post here? hell yeah. "

Online and Real Life BDSM

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 25th - words of cellis

"I think what bothers me the most is they just assume that I am interested in seeing their cock.

It just goes to show that some men are clueless about what excites some women."

I seek like minded individuals

Catalina

 

[niteshade]

January 26th - Words of il mio angelo
"Someone once told me that I could not possibly be a submissive because I am very bubbly and outgoing. "Submissives are quiet, meek and mild, they are the girls/guys that won't look you in the eye, and never say a word until someone talks to them first.." he said.

Yup.. it still sounds dumb after all this time!"


https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=183580

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 27th - words of sunfox

"....Just as it's easy to say that the world is better for blacks now when you're not one, and don't face racism every day in the new, sneaky, subtle ways that it occurs as well as the blatant, in-your-face-I-Hate-You-Darkies ways... it's easy to say that life is better for all women because some things have changed in this particular country......"

Staying at home pride .vs. Out in the world greed

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 28th - words of SkyBluAngelEyes

"We also exchanged BDSM checklists, also. We found several different ones and then kind of consolidated them into one giant one and went one by one down the list. Then, He threw the list out the window and went with whatever He wanted anyway.

Gawd, I miss that Man."

How did you tell your 1st partner what you liked?

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 29th - words of Desdemona

"Now, in terms of your question about pain in general and how we come to eroticise it... for me, that happened over time. When I was first exploring my submissive desires, I recoiled and said "no way" to a great many things that I enjoy today. Over time, playing with a couple of Doms that I have trusted, those barriers slowly wore away and were replaced with desire. As the desire for the pain grew, we experiemented with it more. We went slowly and carefully. Pain was administered in some cases just as I reached orgasm from pleasure. In that way, I learned to mix the two extremes in sensation.

That said, there is no rule that says you have to enjoy pain. I don't always *enjoy* pain. Sometimes, I hate it and I submit with tears streaming down my face; gritting my teeth as I endure. But the thing is, I crave it and I need it. Without regular SM play, I get edgy and bitchy and whiny and miserable to be around. With regular SM play, I tend to be calm, happy and even tempered. My orgasms are far more intense if SM is involved. Even if it's one of those times when I hate it, afterwards, I feel complete and satisfied.

Nobody says that pain has to be a part of your play. Some folks prefer the soft sensations. Do what works for you and your partner. If you develop an interest in trying something else, go for it. The important thing is to do what gets you both off and to keep an open mind to new experiences over time."

The hardcore stuff:enemas/fisting/knife-play/needles/strangling...

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

January 30th - words of sinn0cent1

"i don't think i've even 'not' been wet, during play as well as not. Same here as some have already stated: dripping down the inner thighs in a stream that leads right to my ankles when aroused. During actual 'play' .. have soaked through a towel or two .. through the bed comforter, through the sheets.. right to the mattress. Am a gusher/squirter. Last visit to a hospital one of those bed 'chucks' (thick quilted sheet protector) found it's way into my bag.

We don't see the wetness as an issue, He loves it. Makes for easier fisting, dildo play etc ect."

How wet do YOU get?

Catalina

 

[sunfox]

This calendar is always such a good resource... thanks, Catalina, for keeping it up.

 

[sunfox]

January 31st - words of superlittlegirl

"It's kind of unsettling. I've almost always been able to approach sex with a cavalier attitude; I can't do that with this. I've almost always felt in control in sexual scenarios in the past, even when I intentionally offered myself up for objectification, because I was the provider of pleasure by offering my body, or by doing the sex act itself. I'm still a very headstrong woman sexually-- I am far from the ideal submissive because I like to work collaboratively toward my pleasure (probably sometimes when he'd rather I just relax, but I can't be perfect) but I am finding deep comfort in having much less sayso than I usually would.

It hurts so much. I'm not talking about the hairpulling, the spanking, the biting or the occasional deep bruise. I'm talking about the emotional ache of being made to be exposed. It hurts to feel so much. And it feels so good, too."

Thread - Has dissatisfaction with 'nilla sex ever driven you to celibacy?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 1st - words of Corkie2

"A D/s relationship is very much a symbiotic (Sp?) one. I need give to him what he needs to take from me. So it is in meeting each others needs we DO complete each other. By the same token when we lack such a person in our lives we find ourselves in the condition where we begin to crave what we are lacking."


having an attack of "sub crave"

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 2nd - words of Etoile

"Personally, I'd rather not see this discussed here. Self injury - cutting is only one form - is not related to BDSM. It's unhealthy, it's a sign of other issues, and it's not sexual.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeffreysub
Whats your point? We're all mentally ill to one extent or another, whose to say what is illness and why limit such things in categorys.

Yeah yeah, we're all mentally ill. But an interest in BDSM is no longer considered a mental illness, and SI is a symptom of mental illness. Any such bullshit about "expanding the mind" is just looking for an excuse to practice something that is an indication of help being needed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeffreysub
I believe inflicting wounds upon ourselves is hardly a bad thing but rather can be a blessing. It allows one to explore ourselves and understand why we exist in the world.

No way. Blessing, my ass. People die as a result of SI. You're not exploring yourself by cutting, you're harming the earthly vessel in which your consciousness resides. If you want to explore yourself, try taking up meditation or journaling.

And just so it's clear where I'm coming from, I have SI in my past as well. I'm not a cutter - too obvious, and the first time I tried it I got a free handcuffed ride in the back of a police car straight to the local mental emergency unit. I have never been triggered by images or text about SI, but I acknowledge that once you start it's hard to permanently break away. I still think about doing it when I need to escape or feel release. I haven't done it in a long time now, and there are no scars or other permanent effects from my SI.

So that's why I don't think it should be discussed here: because self injury is not BDSM-related. Sure, I could just stay away from this thread and not have to know about it, but I do feel strongly about this so I'll probably be back to argue the point."

anyone like to self harm?

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 3rd - words of snowy ciara

"A Dominatrix is NOT a whore. A great many non paid Dommes prefer that title. A prostitute who Dominates clients is a Pro-Domme, or more rarely, a Pro-Dom. I know at least one genetic female Dominatrix who prefers that title, and one TG Dominatrix, and either one would beat you in a totally non-consensual way for assuring a newb that they are for hire. Especially since one of them HAS worked as a Pro-Domme as well as a "regular whore" and she will tell you, there's a world of difference between doing it (either it, really) for money and doing it for some sort of love."

want to be dominated

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 4th - words of jeffreysub

"Well actually I want this domme to be extremely sexual not a professional or just doing it for kicks. I prefer it to be sexual as well and not a 'whore' although I have no problems with prostitutes I just don't want money to be involved at all. To me domination and submission is all about sex and if it lacks sexual intercourse in anyway I start to get turned off.

As for getting it up the ass... Nah not one of my fantasies I don't like anal at all infact. I will try and look into the adds around here and see what I can find but by all meens I am going to avoid the professionals, I like this to be more personal relationship wise no offense."

want to be dominated

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 5th - words of Leliana

" Just be honest
Maybe it's just me but I consider honesty to be the best course of action. I don't see the necessity to fake experience in a certain domain when there has to be a first time for anyone. To know a Dominant has lied to me about his experience would make me wonder how many other lies he may have told me... I don't think I'd be able to trust that man after that."

Fake it until you make it?

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 6th - words of Desdemona

"Actually, all of the above. Sometimes, he makes me spank my clit while he watches to make sure I spank hard enough. We've used hands as well as a hairbrush for clit spanking. It's all good. For the record, he ties me because we both enjoy bondage. I like the spanking too much to try and escape or stop it. LOL"

How many subs cum from spankings

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 7th - words of OpenMouth

"Never been strap-ond but I had a mistress for a while, who loved to do me with a huge dildo...

It must have been 9" long, realistic and it vibrated, too! It was really difficult at first but when lubed up & relaxed it was sensational! One evening she did it to me three times, for about 20 mins a time. I could only take it for that long, but as soon as it was out, I wanted more... I think she gave me about 7" of it.

We did plan all sorts of things, strap-ons definitely, and she wanted to see me assfucked as well. we never got to do everything, but I still fantasize..."

Strap-on experiences

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 8th - words of graceanne

"I know what you mean. If you figure out some way to work around this problem, though, let me know. I'm still trying to figure it out myself. I just figure it's one of those 'nobody's perfect' type things. I wonder if dom's occasionally don't feel like dominating? *shrugs* Either way, you just keep trying, doing your best, and taking your licks when you screw up, I guess. Just like with everything else in life."

Getting in the mood to submit

Catalina