Submissive "Thought of the Day" Calendar 2005

[catalina_francisco]

February 9th - words of eroticspank

"Since I have not heard from any male subs commenting about spanking and cumming I thought I would tell my thoughts.

I guess my name says it all. If I am erotically spanked by my Domme I can cum easily. In fact if we start gradually so that I am getting spanked harder and harder. When I came my Domme was spanking me very hard which really intensified my orgasm tenfold! However, I never could have been spanked that hard if I was not orgasming.
...."

How many subs cum from spankings

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 10th - words of sigsauerprinces

"i'd stick around, no question
yes D/s is important to me, but to be totally honest, since meeting him i've realized that having him is enough, and if he decided he didnt want to do kinky things anymore-i might miss them from time to time, but i'd be happy, because..let me see if i can explain this right. HE is my D/s. Making him happy is my submission, and if it makes him happy to stop with the kink, thats what i'd do. even without any beatings or play rape or any of that-we still have everything we've talked about, we have my knowledge of him, the parts of himself that he shared with me that he never shared with anyone else, and vice versa, and that is enough D/s for me right there. it doesnt need to be physical. the fact is i belong to him, whether or not we do kinky things. i belong to him and it goes much deeper than bdsm play-the play is all just extra, it's icing on the cake. He is and will always be my Owner, even if he were never to lay a hand or a crop on me or give me one order ever again."

What would you do if your partner wanted to go vanilla?

Catalina

 

[Desdemona]

February 11th. Words of catalina_fransisco

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=11564433#post11564433

I was actually reading elsewhere last week about someone speaking of where the D/s begins and ends and their present dissatisfaction with what was happening for them in the relationship. Like many, they were thinking in the realm of D/s is not D/s without the constant overt, obvious signs such as beatings, instructions, tasks, punishments. The discussion turned to what it means to submit, how it is about doing those things which please and make the Dominant's life more comfortable and pleasant, and so if out of love the sub is doing all those little (and big) things which may be simply their own initiative in an effort to please, they are submitting and serving in the way the Dominant wants. Simply put, it was pointed out it is not about the submissive demanding the Dominant dom in the style they relate to, but that the submissive have the genuine desire to serve under any condition the Dominant may desire, even if that is through seemingly just being there to make sure their day runs smoother. Make sense? As you say, the rest is the icing on the cake, and it is often easy to lose sight of that.

Catalina


I totally get this. You said it well.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I totally get this. You said it well.

Thanks Des for both the compliment and the addition to the calendar.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 12th - words of serijules

"Many people seem to have the opinion that poly relationships are for people with no self worth. At one time, I felt this way too, because the poly relationships I were in were not HEALTHY relationships. Heathy poly relationships can be incredible, amazing things. Does that mean there are never problems? Hell no. It means that the people involved in that relationship are committed to solving those problems and learning from them because they care about the emotional stability and happiness of everyone involved, including themselves. There is very little absense of self worth in this process.

I am in my 3rd poly relationship. I would admittedly prefer to not share, however, I also love my Domme (and her other sub!!) very much and the choice of being with them is preferable, and worth giving up my desire to not share. Someone commented that jealousy has no place in a poly relationship...I have to respectfully disagree. Jealousy is a feeling; feelings are always valid and always have a place in any relationship. It is what you do with those feelings and how you handle them that matter.

I handle my jealousy by writing about it in my journal and sharing it with not only her, but with her other sub as well, and we talk about it. If you try to hide it, try to deny it, try to shove it down and force it to go away...it will fester and turn into something ugly, and that is not acceptable. Sometimes, I find it very hard to talk about my feelings of jealousy because I feel guilty about having them, and I tend to bottle it up. At those times, I have learned to let her know that I need to talk about it by simply handing her a hairbrush and asking for a spanking until I talk. Not talking about it is not an option for me. This expectation allows us to deal with the feeling and move on, and all of us accept that the feelings WILL be there, they ARE valid, and not only that, they are perfectly normal. Even the most solid Poly relationships are going to create feelings of discontent and jealousy. No one is immune to this feeling, some are just better at convincing themselves it is something else and effectively not dealing with it. Again, that method is not acceptable if you expect this to work.

Usually, when I am feeling jealous and I examine my feelings by talking them out, I realize that my feelings of jealousy were often stemming from something else. A misunderstanding about a time I thought we were going to play and she played with her other sub instead left me feeling jealous. When I talked about it, I realized that my insecurities about misunderstanding her intentions were more to blame for my feelings than feelings of jealousy about her spending time with her other sub instead of me.

Poly is extremely difficult and not for everyone, but please don't be so quick to condemn it just because it isn't for you, or to make assumptions about those that are involved in poly relationships. For some, it does work, but not without a lot of hard worth and effort. The strength and self worth and communication skills that I have gained from sharing are extremely solid. I am proud of these skills. I am proud of the efforts I put into my relationships and the happiness and security that comes from the "family" feel.

But I still get jealous. The key is simply to find ways to deal with it without compromising your feelings nor hurting the others involved. I deal with mine by asking for a release spanking and talking it out, and in that process I get reassurance and a better understanding of the situation that sparked the jealousy in the first place. 9 times out of 10, my jealous feelings were a result of a misunderstanding on MY part of the situation, or stem from assumptions made by me. Once the picture is laid out for me and I understand the reactions/feelings/thoughts/intentions of the others, I can deal much much better.

Communication isn't just the key, it's the entire fuckin locksmith shop. You will constantly be testing out different keys, different methods, different ways of communicating to make a poly relationship not just work, but work well, for all involved.

That being said...this situation doesn't seem healthy to me in some ways because he does not seem willing to communicate with you about this other person, which is just asking for trouble and extremely unreasonable of him. If he can't be upfront with you about the relationship and realize that withholding basic information is going to make your mind run wild, then his expectations are unrealistic and he isn't very in tune to what makes a poly relationship work at this stage. That is assuming that you have TOLD him about your feelings.

There is a security that comes at some point in the relationship where it doesn't matter who else the top is involved with because your own relationship is so strong and so secure that you really simply do not need to know. But that level is found through a long process and often years of experience with one another, it doesn't just "exist". You need to sit down with him and make that process begin, find ways to communicate and deal with your jealousy to turn it into something positive (the lessons I learn and the feelings shared during discussions of jealous feelings are very valuable and positive for me as they give me a deeper understanding of those that I love and are involved with), or as others have suggested, find someone whom shares your ideals about monogamous relationships."


help with jealousy?

Fantastic post serijules!!

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 13th - words of A Desert Rose

"On topic and to the thread starter, I will only say this... 'settling' for less than what you need in your life and living with the regrets of unchartered desires, are decisions only you can make. Life is a lot about sacrifices. You give up one thing for another. And only you can set those priorities and make those sacrifices.

As for me, I can't and won't settle."

Dumb Question 1: How to deal with acting vanilla?

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 14th - words of A Desert Rose

"Call me one lucky submissive. I spent the evening with Mistress ShadowsDream and her sub. It was... almost beyond words and I ran the gamit of emotions, just like She said I would.

I wandered into the casino dressed (for me) quite fetishly and got more than a few askance glances from the tourists. They assume (and I know this because I was once fairly new to the atmosphere of Las Vegas) that anyone dressed like I was, is a hooker.

We had a lovely dinner together (thank you again, Rick) and I know I babbled like a schoolgirl the whole time. I was like a schoolgirl... I know this because I was the only one who had dessert.

Then we went up to their room.

She is all and more than I had ever expected to meet. In fact, I never dreamed I'd get to meet Her. She is most definately the consummate Domme. She gave me safewords, that I never had the need to use. She knows when to pull back and how far to push. She knew when to stop and leave me begging for more... and more. She is the ulitmate tease and full of affection. I was weak-kneed and dripping by the time I got to my car. The impact is still sinking in.

And She cracks a mean whip! It was all marvelous.

Ma'am gave me permission to post pictures and I will do so very soon.

From my bottom... and the bottom of my heart, Thank You, Ma'am...for everything."

Meeting THE Mistress

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 15th - words of Etoile

"I know we've had plenty of threads about subspace, but I don't always read them because I don't know that I've ever been in subspace. But I think it might have happened yesterday...definitely something weird happened.

Daddy and I were fucking pretty normally; I wasn't tied up or anything. I was just riding on top and wearing a corset (cheap one, not laced tightly) - I've been on top before but I don't remember actively fucking with one on before, maybe it contributed to what happened. So anyway, I was getting really into it...and then all of a sudden I was overcome with a very bizarre feeling. As I described it to Daddy afterward, if I believed in alternate/parallel realities then I would have thought I had been transported into some other place. I felt scared, paranoid...generally just freaked out. I was also suddenly freezing cold. Daddy held my arms out, gripping my wrists, and I made several bizarre movements and took rather a long time to open my eyes and come back. Afterward I was still scared, uncertain of what had happened or where I had gone, and cold."

transporting and scary...subspace?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 16th - words of eroticspank

"My favorite is me on my hands and knees with her taking me from behind! With one important addition, a full length mirror...so I can see her face and mine as she is fucking me! You can also see her tits sway and bouce as she fucks me!"

Domination with a Strap On

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 17th - words of Xelebes

"Well, my best friend from high school (bi-dom "in training") and I met at a party last night and he showed me his new partner he brought up from Cowtown, someone who has accepted the title as "slave". Whatever, it was kinda neat being actually able to talk (in real time) with another sub, who's not in it for just kinky sex. I've actually only made one friend who is a male sub but he's in for more of the kinky sex than anything. So... uh... yeah. I should actually get some sleep from that party. On second thought... nah."

Male Sub Thread

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 18th - words of malcah_ms

"If I may jump in here, while most of my experience has been offline, due to the miles between us, Master and I are mostly online. It is real -- and we visit together when able (or will be...more accurately). I agree -- it is limiting to say that only "one" way is the right way. Online relationships, especially now after the "web" has been around for so long (unlike say back in 97) we have folks who meet and then marry after meeting online. To tell them their relationship isn't real is silliness. D/s takes many forms. If the person feels the power transference, great. Ideally they should meet if possible and if unable oh well, people do the best they can.

As for having more or less credibility, that is like telling someone they can't read because they only read the Enquirer."

Online D/s

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 19th - words of Aeroil

"If someone has been infected with AIDS then there is window where someone's blood may still contain enough of the virus to infect someone but not enough to be detected in the tests, typically this period is three or four months. Also keep in mind that if they make a mistake, then someone gets a fatal disease, they are very careful about preventing that, and unless there's a MAJOR blood shortage, they'd rather avoid taking blood from sources even a little questionable."

Has anyone else heard of this new kind of bloodplay?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 20th - words of not_so_inncent_flirting

"At first i was not sure what was happening, it was like a "power surge" ....squirtting leaving me afraid i had urinated. i get very wet with a spanking and my orgasm enhanced greatly but it doesn't happen for me with an ass spanking. Now..... spanking the pussy, especially with the hand, that is where the power surge comes in."

How many subs cum from spankings

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 21st - words or eroticspank

"Since I have not heard from any male subs commenting about spanking and cumming I thought I would tell my thoughts.

I guess my name says it all. If I am erotically spanked by my Domme I can cum easily. In fact if we start gradually so that I am getting spanked harder and harder. When I came my Domme was spanking me very hard which really intensified my orgasm tenfold! However, I never could have been spanked that hard if I was not orgasming."

How many subs cum from spankings

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 22nd - words of LunarKitten

"My mistakes....Not liking to communicate my wants and needs (I've since gotten over that, for the most part, these last...wow...eight years (if you count computer time, six if you only count real time) - I still don't like to admit I want something since that takes away from focusing only on him, but I'm working on it very hard)....Taking on the first relationship that was offered because my need to submit was soooo strong (luckily it only lasted a few months)....being afraid to try new things unless it was with my mentor (both a good and a bad thing, but it did limit my experience level)"

What were some mistakes you made during your first five years involved with BDSM?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 23rd - words of SierraMoon

"i know that when my first Dom wrapped me in Saran, i absolutely loved it. i was wrapped head to toe, with only my breasts and privates available to him.

It was like i was outside my body. Like it wasn't me standing there at all.

i can't wait until my Master allows us to do it!!!! "

Let's talk about objectification

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 24th - words of Pet4you

"To the world, being submissive lets everyone else play first..

in my world, being a submissive, is making sure my mate, my family is okay before me.. Putting them before my needs.
Sexually, i perfer my mate to have fun, before i do...

so i see my submissive purpose is to take care of what i have,
and see them smile.
Collaberate my ideas with them, and let them see what i see..
Being submissive can be a sterotype,
for example: i told my one friend im submissive, and he assumed i like rape play.. I dont.. detest it.
Just the word itself, cause people to think the bad things..

i hate having to try to get them to understand me.. the only i know how to.. is
use a military example: you say jump... i ask how high..
you say go clean the latrien, i ask how clean do you want it.

if you want an example of sex.. well its more like.. heres my hands, please tie it up.
please dont let me try and climb away, when your pleasuring me..

this word, submissive, its double edge sword to people.. because if you dont understand it, you have to explain it, and then get the feeling of " well that didnt go out well"

you know what i mean?"

Submissive's Purpose

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 25th - words of Lark Sparrow

"I don't know any Dominants who consistently get off on forcing submissives to do things they absolutely do not enjoy - they may find pleasure in seducing them into new things they will enjoy but resist, they may insist that a certain set of rules and behaviors are followed, but if there is no joy, I think many Dominants will begin to get bored at the very least. If a submissive says s/he has x,y and z as hard limits but chooses a Dominant who's favorites are x, y and z, personally I don't buy that s/he picks that Dom/me simply to be "truly" dominated, but because s/he on some level does want to do x, y and z. As you said, we are not talking about a real slave market here - we are talking about consensual BDSM relationships. Your "surrender" may be about being "forced" to all the nasties you could never do on your own, but in my mind that is no more D/s than the example you gave above - there's just more denial, and points to your kink being degradation, IMO."

Submissive's Purpose

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 26th - words of Quint

"Well, this puts a bit of perspective into my life. I'm so used to feeling short-changed on the benefits of being female--it's impossible for me to have multiple orgasms or come on command or all the other fun things I hear about, and I used to get really depressed thinking about that. But on the flip side, yeah I get moody and tend to focus irrationally on trivial negative things, but that's about 3 days of the month. Mostly I feel content and productive before and during my period. So I guess the lack of horrid here makes up for the lack of fantastic elsewhere.

Cat and all who suffer severe PMS, best wishes to all of you."

PMS and BDSM

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 27th - words of bronntanas

"I'm kind of in a weird place. I'm a bi male; so "forced" bi isn't really an issue for me. I've not been with a guy yet, (but I'm working on remedying the situation.) though. While I can see myself subbing to a man, it's more probable that I'd be subbing to a woman. So, if my theoretical Domme "forced" me to pleasure a man, I'd do the best I can, but is it really force when on some level, I like guys? I'm not saying Dom's are a no go, but judging by my fantasies, my erotic landscape it's more likely to be a female. So if a Domme brought in another male, it wouldn't really be forced, but it would sort of be.

On another level, I frequently have problems switching gears, sexually. This is where the "force" thing comes in. I fantasize about men, and I fantasize about women, and I fantasize about men and women and myself altogether. But if I'm in a certain mindset, say I'm masturbating to the thought of a sexy lady and suddenly I think "no, I think I'll make it Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome instead." I frequently have to go back to the beginning and start over. So, if I was with a Domme and she suddenly said "Meet my evil twin Dom." and in walks this guy, I'd need to take a moment to regroup, refocus. I'd still do my damnedest to please them, because I think my innate desire to be of service would over-ride the internal stuff. Which negates the "force" issue again. I think. But then again, I haven't tried that yet, so I don't know."

Forced Bisexuality

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 28th - words of sunfox

"I don't know if I could call it submission if you kowtow to every passing person.. I'd call that passive, or lacking in self esteem. Docile could be another way to put it.

But yeah, we have this nature vs. nurture submission question crop up from time to time, and it never goes anywhere."

Is Being A Natural Submissive Good?

 

[catalina_francisco]

March 1st - words of WynEternal

"The worse punishment I have ever received was being ignored by Mistress. Actually, now, I don't remember what it was I did, but I think it had something to do with self doubt. I think it was by doubting myself, I insulted the faith she placed in me. She told me that she was disappointed in me and when I got home, I wasn't allowed to talk to her or see her for a certain period of time.

I was sad, upset, depressed, and mostly, ashamed with myself. That was the worse thing that she could think of doing and it was done. There was no arguing, no raising of her voice. Just the knowledge that she was disappointed in my behaviour.

The punishment did serve to jolt me back into reality and made me realize there was a reason I was her's and that in itself made me someone special."

Punishment vs Discipline

 

[catalina_francisco]

March 2nd - words of TaintedB

"...Maybe you don't know about how safe horse sex seems because, if the stuff makes you "violently ill," then you probably haven't seen these hundreds of films that I have? If you could bring yourself to actually watch representative samples of such movies and learn a little about the subject, you'd see that the way horse sex is usually done, at least with the stallions (I'm not too interested in mare sex so I haven't seen too much of it) is quite routine and safe. The horses are usually so calm, in fact, that I wonder if they're given horsie Xanax before the shoot (although if they did that, I am not sure if the stallions could get it up). But what I do see is excellent handling. The handlers are always around the animal, although in the films you only catch brief glimpses of them, and they seem to know their animals quite well. And the women tend to be the active partners in this sort of sex. I am not sure why this is so, but the stallions are not particularly aggressive--although they get hard and ejaculate, they kind of "lay back and enjoy it," so to speak, there's very little danger of human internal damage.

Only a very few "actresses" in this genre do really wild risky things, such as let a pony stand up on his hind legs (forelegs on the top of a stall) and take her at will. and even in those clips, I suspect there's someone lurking in the background. The only woman I've seen do things like this, in fact, is an expert animal handler who seems to have been around animals all her life. She's something of a stuntwoman in the beast crowd, and like most stuntpeople, prides herself on the dangerous peformances she gives. But she is very unusual in this genre, most people don't go near the stuff she does.

Despite the precautions taken during horse sex, a horse could always panic or get upset and do something unexpected, but then isn't that true in almost every nonsexual circumstance of dealing with a large animal? The point, I think, is that whatever you do around a large animal that could easily kill or severely injure you, you do what you can to minimize the risks, because the benefits of being around the animal outweigh the risks. Still, I've got to wonder if the person who is frequently around horses doing non-sexual things with them isn't at much higher risk of injury than the person who occasionally does a sex thing with them with several handlers and half a dozen other people around in case of problems."

Feminism and being a submissive

 

[catalina_francisco]

March 3rd - words of slave C

"Feminisim to me means that I choose how I want to live my feminity. What makes me happy. How am I fulfilled as a female. WELL, let me tell you. I have had jobs that put me in charge of others and I was not happy, I've been in leadership positions, I have forced myself since college to push myself out of my comfort zone. I hated it all. But, thats what society wants me to do. Be something I'm not. I will always be grateful for the women who have made it possible to vote hold a job, drive a car and have medical attention, go to school etc. However, I am a feminist, I am in control of my home, I let my Master know what is needed and He makes sure I get the things needed to run His home. ( This way He doesnt have to). I do lots of things just to survive pay the bills etc. does this make me a feminist? My Master is in charge because that is what makes us both happy. I kneel at his feet every day and wait for his loving touch on my head and I feel like crying for happiness. I have been in an abusive relationship and now I have found a lifestyle that completes me in a way that I never dreamed would ever be possible."

Feminism and being a submissive

 

[bronntanas]

February 27th - words of bronntanas

<massive snippage>

Thanks Catalina. So, can anyone put anyone in this thread? (and the PYL one) or do we PM you mods or something to suggest something we've seen that looks appropriate?