the annoyances of being trans and interested in bdsm

[Johnny Mayberry]

BTW, Mellian...I may be an asshole, but I'm an honest one. If you don't want to hear it from me, please listen to Etoile and Miss T.

 

[MissTaken]

It is the exact 'extreme' nature of this sort of thing, and the feelings involved, which make it vitally important for people to consciously take a step back on a regular basis, and make sure they aren't moving too fast. A 20 year old has lots of time...there's no need to rush into anything.

At any age, rushing is a bad idea.

IMHO.

 

[mellian]

I'm sensing some repressed hostility... or wait. I guess it's not really very repressed at all.

umm, hello. he is not teasing, despite what he thinks. he is being quite insulting and offensive, and i am pretty tame in compirison to other transsexuals and other trans folks who would literally bite his head for the kind of things he said.

only thing i am doing is correcting him, and possibly help remove some of his ignorance and arrogance.

-mellian

...it is all fun and games until some gets hurt...

 

[mellian]

Now, let's be fair, ok? If you were walking around with the wrong genitalia, you'd be kind of pissy too....

You would think, though, that you would have to develop a sense of humor about the whole thing, but maybe not.

oh i do, but the stuff you have said so far is not funny at all. only shows how bloody ignorant you are, and that may need a kick in the ass or two as well.

-mellian

 

[mellian]

I cannot possibly know what mellian is dealing with, but chewing off people's heads when they were clearly only teasing is probably not in the book of How to Make Friends and Influence People. [/B]

insulting people will not make you much friends either.

-mellian

 

[mellian]

"You are too young--you can't handle it--don't even try" seems like utterly dubious "advice". The aspects of our sexuality do not come in discreet packets---"ok, now I've got the trans part under control; time for the bDSM part."

As anyone into this kind of shit (extreme sexuality) knows, the associated emotions and needs are overwhelming and when it's time for you to seek what you need; you are going to do so regardless of whether you are 20, 40 or 80.

gender identity and sexuality are two different things.

Someone at this stage needs help integrating themselves--good luck kid; I hope you find what you need.

thanks.

-mellian

 

[mellian]

It is the exact 'extreme' nature of this sort of thing, and the feelings involved, which make it vitally important for people to consciously take a step back on a regular basis, and make sure they aren't moving too fast. A 20 year old has lots of time...there's no need to rush into anything.

I am not rushing into anything, and it is not like i got into bdsm just yesterday either. being 20 does only proves how old i am, not much else.

-mellian

...assumption is the mother of all fuck ups...

 

[mellian]

BTW, Mellian...I may be an asshole, but I'm an honest one. If you don't want to hear it from me, please listen to Etoile and Miss T.

only reason why i replied the way i did is not because of the advice, it is because of your obvious lack of understanding of trans and your insulting demeanour towards them and me.

-mellian

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

See what I mean? PISSY!!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Honestly, your big problem is probably the giant chip on your shoulder. Do you think you get a free pass from anyone ever joking with you, just because you got screwed over by biology?

And, ummm...what don't I understand? Let me see if I've got this straight; you've got a cock and balls, but you identify yourself as a female. The cock makes you a dude, your brain makes you a chica..."dude....chica...dude..."(always a shame when you have to explain a joke, but hey-it was 4 AM!)

The fact that you are a whining complainer is the bigger issue here.

 

[sunfox]

Honestly, your big problem is probably the giant chip on your shoulder. Do you think you get a free pass from anyone ever joking with you, just because you got screwed over by biology?

And, ummm...what don't I understand? Let me see if I've got this straight; you've got a cock and balls, but you identify yourself as a female. The cock makes you a dude, your brain makes you a chica..."dude....chica...dude..."(always a shame when you have to explain a joke, but hey-it was 4 AM!)

The fact that you are a whining complainer is the bigger issue here.

*agrees with Johnny*

I'm beginning to see where the problem is in getting a relationship. Growing a thicker skin would go a long ways towards helping you out.. and a sense of humor would be great too.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

*agrees with Johnny*

I'm beginning to see where the problem is in getting a relationship. Growing a thicker skin would go a long ways towards helping you out.. and a sense of humor would be great too.

No no NO!! When you have problems, it is never your fault. Narrow-minded Dommes, insensitive chatroom people, and that damned Johnny Mayberry...THAT'S the problem!!

 

[rosco rathbone]

Johnny, with all due respect, you are acting like a total prick and this person is well within bounds checking you.

Furthermore, who made you sexual-advice expert? Jesus, at least get catalina_fransisco in here.

 

[mellian]

And, ummm...what don't I understand? Let me see if I've got this straight; you've got a cock and balls, but you identify yourself as a female. The cock makes you a dude, your brain makes you a chica..."dude....chica...dude..."(always a shame when you have to explain a joke, but hey-it was 4 AM!)

i can think of more appropriate way to say what you have just said. joke or not, doesn't matter. I am not a dude, never was, never will.

The fact that you are a whining complainer is the bigger issue here.

-mellian

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Johnny, with all due respect, you are acting like a total prick and this person is well within bounds checking you.

Furthermore, who made you sexual-advice expert? Jesus, at least get catalina_fransisco in here.

No way...I know you are sucking up because you want a shot of some TS ass, but dude!

 

[mellian]

*agrees with Johnny*

I'm beginning to see where the problem is in getting a relationship. Growing a thicker skin would go a long ways towards helping you out.. and a sense of humor would be great too.

oh i see, to have a thick skin, one must accept asshole, arrogant, and ignorant remarks without saying a thing, while laughing at jokes that are not even funny to have a sense of humour.

his so called jokes can be compared to jokes base on race, religion, disability and etc. Sorry if i am not one to laugh at them.

-mellian

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

i can think of more appropriate way to say what you have just said. joke or not, doesn't matter. I am not a dude, never was, never will.






-mellian

*Ahem* Are you now, or have you ever been, in possesion of a penis? Remember, you are under oath...

(Note for the humor-impaired: this is a satirical reference to the 1950's communist witch hunt)

 

[rosco rathbone]

*Ahem* Are you now, or have you ever been, in possesion of a penis? Remember, you are under oath...

(Note for the humor-impaired: this is a satirical reference to the 1950's communist witch hunt)

The only thing more pathetic than straightforward bullying is this passive-aggressive "gee can't you take a joke" bullshit. I'm suprised the gay bacon lettuce and tomato moderator is taking your back on this one--she's usually pretty quick on the trigger.

 

[sigsauerprinces]

It is the exact 'extreme' nature of this sort of thing, and the feelings involved, which make it vitally important for people to consciously take a step back on a regular basis, and make sure they aren't moving too fast. A 20 year old has lots of time...there's no need to rush into anything.

define "rushing" ? i see nothing in his posts that show that he's rushing willy nilly into the arms of some bdsm person hes never met before. he's expressing frustration at how hard it is to meet a compatible person in the lifestyle. which it IS. i cant figure out exactly why you're jumping down his back.


posted by rosco rathebone: "The aspects of our sexuality do not come in discreet packets---"ok, now I've got the trans part under control; time for the bDSM part."

As anyone into this kind of shit (extreme sexuality) knows, the associated emotions and needs are overwhelming and when it's time for you to seek what you need; you are going to do so regardless of whether you are 20, 40 or 80."

truer words were never spoken.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

define "rushing" ? i see nothing in his posts that show that he's rushing willy nilly into the arms of some bdsm person hes never met before. he's expressing frustration at how hard it is to meet a compatible person in the lifestyle. which it IS. i cant figure out exactly why you're jumping down his back.


posted by rosco rathebone: "The aspects of our sexuality do not come in discreet packets---"ok, now I've got the trans part under control; time for the bDSM part."

As anyone into this kind of shit (extreme sexuality) knows, the associated emotions and needs are overwhelming and when it's time for you to seek what you need; you are going to do so regardless of whether you are 20, 40 or 80."

truer words were never spoken.

True words? You make it sound like the BDSM community is a bunch or rutting animals with no control over their urges...how about suggesting that we all act like civilized human beings whose minds control our urges, and not the other way around?

 

[sigsauerprinces]

True words? You make it sound like the BDSM community is a bunch or rutting animals with no control over their urges...how about suggesting that we all act like civilized human beings whose minds control our urges, and not the other way around?

dude...you're tripping.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

dude...you're tripping.

I AM a dude...but I am not tripping, and you should be ashamed of yourself for suggesting that I am.

Sorry, I don't buy into that whole "overwhelming urge for BDSM" stuff...

 

[sunfox]

oh i see, to have a thick skin, one must accept asshole, arrogant, and ignorant remarks without saying a thing, while laughing at jokes that are not even funny to have a sense of humour.

his so called jokes can be compared to jokes base on race, religion, disability and etc. Sorry if i am not one to laugh at them.

-mellian

No, to have a thick skin, one must be capable of not acting just like the person you claim is an asshole. I don't see you doing that. (I also don't really think Johnny is being an asshole.. just his usual opinionated self, but anyways, to continue..)

To have a sense of humor, you must be capable of laughing, not going off half-cocked at every possible opportunity when people are only trying to give you the advice and opinions you solicit when you post on the board.

Damn, and I thought I was cranky. You win the prize.

 

[sunfox]

(No, I'm really not posting a bunch of posts just to seem like I'm really in on the conversation. I swear. Seriously. Why are you looking at me like that?)

mellian, I think you're not taking the initial posts in the spirit to which they were meant. I doubt that Johnny was attempting to attack you in any way with his comment.. and if you felt unamused by the teasing remark, all you had to do was say, 'I don't feel it's a joking matter, I'm looking for serious replies.' and I'm sure he would have done exactly that.

Looking over the posts, it just seems to me like all that's going on here is an escalation of hostility over a comment you didn't like, to the point that you're just attacking everything said if it's not 'oh, mellian, how mean Johnny was to you. Bad Johnny! Bad!'. (At this point, I'd offer to spank Johnny with a rolled up newspaper for illustration, but he'd probably spank back. )

Perhaps taking a deep breath, and relaxing, would help you to calm down a bit, and not take everything so seriously. Just my .02 cents.. it's probably not even worth that.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Originally posted by Johnny Mayberry
oh i see, to have a thick skin, one must accept asshole, arrogant, and ignorant remarks without saying a thing, while laughing at jokes that are not even funny to have a sense of humour.

his so called jokes can be compared to jokes base on race, religion, disability and etc. Sorry if i am not one to laugh at them.

Frankly, the way I see it, you don't have to "accept" anything. It would be nice, if you, opened your mind somewhat, since you did post this thread, supposedly, to get some help with your issue.

Once again.

If you post it on an open forum, you have NO control over the replies made to you. You might not like what they have to say. So sorry. Sometimes I think people come here just to get validation for whatever it is that they post. NO! This is not just a place to get "pats on the back, oh you are so wonderful." WAKE UP. This is a forum for the discussion of BDSM issues. If you posted it, then they have the right to reply. If you don't want to HEAR what people have to say, don't post your thread. The forum rules read:

"By posting a message on this bulletin board, you understand this is your exercising of free speech under the First Amendment to the United States Constitution - which governs this website. As such, any reply to you is also protected and you waive liability to Literotica for any discussion resulting from such a reply or thread. If you do not agree, then DO NOT POST.To post is an express waiver of liability to Literotica.com."

emphasis is mine

It's really very simple!

And it's quite AMAZING how many people don't get this very simple fact of life on a board.

I wonder, how often do we have to remind people of this when they get into a "people are hurting my feelings mode?"

Carry on.

~anelize