The new #1

[Unmasked Poet]

Do you close your eyes? SA Storm does.

In checking the top list today I was pleased to find a new #1 although familiar ground for SA, at least it gives me something new to talk about. Again our in-house erotic/romantic poet finds a nuance to ponder. It must be hard to find different things to say about the same subject. My first impulse is to roll my eyes into my head when he has a #1. (Storm fans please forgive me.) I
We are going to skip what's good about this poem and talk about what's wrong with it. Read on friends, read on...

Flying Blind
by SA Storm ©

close your eyes
and rustle in darkness
as the sound of smiles
move across us

we close our eyes
when we talk
when we kiss
when my touch waltzes

we close our eyes
to capture the intensity of moments
so my voice can wrap around you
as audible pleasure

you stretch and sigh
sink into a rhythm of thoughts
all in darkness
with eyes closed

we close our eyes
to feel breaths chasing skin
as I pull your nipple into my mouth
while I enter you

we prefer to be blind

A romantic little jaunt and at least this time he didn’t play with himself as he did in his love letter.(Yikes!)

First stanza, the use of “and” in the second line is unnecessary, In fact I would suggest a line change. Watch this:

Close your eyes.
Rustle in darkness,
as the sound of smiles
move across us.

Well its better to me anyway. The second verse needs more help.
I do not like the three "when’s"

we close our eyes
when we talk
when we kiss
when my touch waltzes

When will when stop? How about now and slide into something without the repetition:

We close our eyes
when we talk.
As we kiss
while my touch waltzes.

I know that's better; perhaps this is a first draft. I think “waltzes” needs to be finished off. Maybe his touch should waltz “upon skin,” or “flesh” or some such nonsense. Okay enough nitpicking; I like the last stanza if I were a lady I might find it erotic with just a few changes:

We close our eyes,
to feel breaths chasing skin.
I pull your nipple into my mouth
as I enter you, we prefer to be blind.

Hey maybe the formatting got screwed up, perhaps he was typing this on a plane going to see his lover while masturbating and his briefcase fell from his lap. Sorry I keep thinking about that letter, I gotta ask is a guy er,,uh amusing himself erotic?

It's a good poem, a little editing and it's a better poem.

U.P.

Storm has two others which I find interesting.

Love in Arbitration

OTICC

 

[fa_king_bay_b]

PLease excuse the intrusion my poem was put on this thread in error .

fa_king_bay_b

 

[KatPurrs]

Oh nooooo

When I read my mail from Laurel about votes being adjusted due to some vote tampering, I noticed a poem I wrote back in August, "A Serendipitous Snowstorm", had hit the #1 spot!

Oh nooooooooo! I want the 1 trolls back!!!!
Yikes! There are some lines in there (some!?) that curl my naturally straight hair!

U.P. please, please don't throw me in that briar patch! And this is not reverse psychology going on here! lol.. Damn! Why couldn't it have been "Foreign Sensations" instead?

I'm stepping down and allowing Storm's "Performance Art" to take my place. Besides, I know how the U.P. is just chomping at the bit to do another critique on him!

 

[Unmasked Poet]

Oh no!

I'm quite tired of talking about Storm, you are a far more tasty topic.


Don' t fear Katpurrs, I love snow besides it numbs the senses.

U.P.

 

[WriterDom]

Re: Do you close your eyes? SA Storm does.

we close our eyes
to capture the intensity of moments
so my voice can wrap around you
as audible pleasure

you stretch and sigh
sink into a rhythm of thoughts
all in darkness
with eyes closed



we close our eyes
capturing the intensity of moment
my voice wraps around you
as audible pleasure

you stretch and sigh
sink into rhythm of thought
all in darkness
with eyes closed


It's a good poem, but I agree it could be a little tighter

 

[SA Storm]

Tighter

 

[KatPurrs]

Re: Do you close your eyes? SA Storm does.

I gotta ask is a guy er,,uh amusing himself erotic?


Oh, U.P.

Surely you jest!

Kat~

 

[Unmasked Poet]

Once more

Somebody’s learning how to play well with others, why it’s Mr. Storm again and he has needs. Here we get what we always get with SA, facets of sexuality, tenderness, emotions, relationships and other more urgent needs. Nothing is trivial under his gaze.
Read on and grab a whip or something there is a party afterwards. I will catch up with you on the other side.

Performance Art
by SA Storm ©

You asked me what I want?
I want to paint in shades of pinks to reds.
In blues to purple running black,
all hued with caring and need.

I ascended to depths of extreme,
sirens of pierced images silver through flesh.
To collar your beauty,
sketch your willfulness into submissive pose.

I thought to taste you,
when you cut your finger.
Watching the red drop bloom scarcely parted skin
overcome with twisted concern, I applauded your performance art.

I don’t want to hurt you,
but I long to hear you scream with a darker voice.
Practicing cubism with temporary tattoos,
of line and oval, crop and hand print.

My mark on your body,
as art on canvas.
You asked me what I want to do?
I want to paint.

Since I danced a little on the last one so I will hold this one up to the light. We have a gentle look into BDSM, well that’s not quite true. I don’t see bondage here yet there is an implication, discipline & Sadism definitely we see bruises as art and paddles and crops and a hand as a paint brush, there is even blood play psychological and not actual. We don’t get to hear the voice of his attention but that’s okay maybe she’s gagged. What really nice about this poem is that he makes it all look enticing. For those who may ask can pleasure be found here? Storm gently tells us yes as he prepares to spank us and we believe him.

While I am not devotee, this poem allows me to share his view, ultimately that is the aim of every poet getting the audience to put on their shoes and walk around behind their eyes and see more or less than the author. I don’t think I will see what another might but hell it still looks good. Redwave made an observation of Mr. Storms work: “Storm, I pick because of his crystalline and opaque use of language, much more sophisticated than the run of the mill Lit poetry.” For me Redwave’s summation sums up the charm of this poem quite nicely.

favorite lines:

"I want to paint in shades of pinks to reds.
In blues to purple running black, all hued with caring and need. "

"Practicing cubism with temporary tattoos, of line and oval, crop and hand print. "

U.P.

 

[Savage Kitten]

29 Jan 2002 -- 0630 hrs

Flying Blind
by SA Storm ©

Close your eyes.
Rustle in darkness,
as the sound of smiles
move across us.

We close our eyes
when we talk.
As we kiss
while my touch waltzes.

We close our eyes,
capturing the intensity of moments.
My voice wraps around you,
as audible pleasure.

You stretch and sigh
sink into rhythm of thought
all in darkness
with eyes closed

We close our eyes,
to feel breaths chasing skin.
Pulling your nipple into my mouth
as I enter you. We prefer to be blind.

Wow, can you ever truely tire of this man? Here with his vision of ~non-vision~. Someone else we'll have to find the poems weaknesses, I've lost all feeling in my fingers and lower extremities.

Sk~

 

[Unmasked Poet]

Savage kitten there is a cure.

I think Mr. Storm described it in his "love letter" take two and call me in the morning.

Savage K, I think we covered this one. or was it so good you had to do it again? Damn insatiable women!

On a related matter,
Special announcement! We will be auctioning off a live phone reading by the man himself! Send him your phone number and he will draw one at random. The winner will receive a reading of five SA Storm poems of their choice with a bonus reading of an erotic story of your choice from this site. He has given you permission to record the conversation so that you may use it later to uh... avoid the ailment our Ms Kitten has. To apply just send him your name and phone number written on a pair of crotchless thong undies(that's right you have to write real small)

Mail to:
Get a grip!
911 it ain't gonna happen ave.
Storms bedroom (yah in your dreams)

U.P.

 

[tigerjen]

U.P.....

On a related matter,
Special announcement! We will be auctioning off a live phone reading
by the man himself! Send him your phone number and he will draw one
at random. The winner will receive a reading of five SA Storm poems of
their choice with a bonus reading of an erotic story of your choice from
this site. He has given you permission to record the conversation so that
you may use it later to uh... avoid the ailment our Ms Kitten has. To apply
just send him your name and phone number written on a pair of crotchless
thong undies(that's right you have to write real small)

You've got to be joking, right?????
I want to hear from the horse's mouth himself! (SA Storm)

heehee!

tigerjen

 

[Savage Kitten]

Since U.P. brought it up

On a related matter,
Special announcement! We will be auctioning off a live phone reading by the man himself! Send him your phone number and he will draw one at random. The winner will receive a reading of five SA Storm poems of their choice with a bonus reading of an erotic story of your choice from this site. He has given you permission to record the conversation so that you may use it later to uh... avoid the ailment our Ms Kitten has. To apply just send him your name and phone number written on a pair of crotchless thong undies(that's right you have to write real small)

I wonder what it would take to have an Auction?? *weg* Since UP has already put Storm on the block without even consulting him.. I nominate U.P. next to be auctioned off. How about the same prize to the winner? The winner will receive a reading of five SA Storm poems of their choice with a bonus reading of an erotic story of your choice from this site. Read by U.P. of course hehe

Ladies... who will start the opening bid?

Sk~

 

[Unmasked Poet]

Oh really

How do you know, I'm not lining up a parade of sensual vocal readings that could reignite a fire in rainstorm?
Beside's I'd love to help out but I'm mute. Why do you think I talk so much with my hands? Well I could be Italian.

Now go away kid I got a show to put on. Theres a New #1.

U.P.
The Godfather

 

[Unmasked Poet]

Run, Step aside or lead.

There is a ground swell happening similar to the running of the bulls in Pamplona.
Should we be afraid? I’ll answer that in a moment. Pleasureu has returned to grace the pages of the new #1 with a trio of poems launched straight from that cannon we like to call his heart.
Before we begin, does everybody here meet the height requirements? Because your old Carny Master U.P. is gonna lead you inside Pleasureu’s tunnel of love called:

“Loving you is all I want to know”

You go on ahead. I gotta chase down some cheap bastards in the fun house who snuck in on yesterday's ticket. Amuse yourselves and keep your hands inside the car.

Loving You, Is All I Want To Know
by pleasureu ©

Sweetheart
Can we make love this morning
Hold each other tight as passion fly
Revel in our love and all its glory
Be as one within orgasmic cry

Sweetheart
See now the nipple swelling
Lazy circled fingers swirling round
Teasing and caress the rosy summit
Listen, for my silent sucking sound

Sweetheart
Feel the tremor that invades you
Fingers coaxing slow your spreading lips
Peel away the hood from tiny rosebud
Let my tongue make love to your sweet clit

Sweetheart
Can I rest inside you deeply
Feel your muscle pull me ever tight
Explode again within your silken cavern
Ecstatic scream to greet the morning light

Sweetheart
Can we make love this morning
Then tender lay beneath warm afterglow
Cuddle in the bliss of sweet contentment
For loving you, is all I want to know

Yo I’m back! In case you’re wondering, I caught those sneaks. Oh and they’re no longer in the fun house, I put em in the “Freakshow.” How was your ride? Mine is starting up pretty bumpy. First Stanza:

Sweetheart
Can we make love this morning
Hold each other tight as passion fly
Revel in our love and all its glory
Be as one within orgasmic cry

We are going to ignore the punctuation (or lack of it) but if you’re going to use capitalization, you should use periods and commas and question marks to help us stay on your love train. Pleasureu has opted for a refrain “Sweetheart”. He links this to an ABCCC rhyme that while functional, fails to hold serious emotion. Again it comes down to word choices fly, glory and cry are better suited for a battle hymn and not a romantic dalliance in my opinion. Yet this poem is still on its feet just a little wobbly. There is a problem with the second line “Hold each other tight as passion fly” I’m sure he means “as passion flies.” I’m not sure about “Be as one within Orgasmic cry” while it makes sense it takes a hard curve on “Be as one within” the rhythm is too quick, but then each line has a different meter. The end rhyme just can’t hold it tightly together but it still holds. Perhaps cry should have been “cries” You ask why? Why I am delving so deep into the first stanza? Well I have no choice I’m not the one who pulled out the rhyme. When you use rhyme, you have to watch your meter.

The second stanza for some reason changes the rhyme pattern to ABDED.

Sweetheart
See now the nipple swelling
Lazy circled fingers swirling round
Teasing and caress the rosy summit
Listen, for my silent sucking sound

The meter is off here also, but it matches on the 3rd and 5th line and so we are saved. This stanza is an improvement over the first. I do not enjoy the word “sucking” in the last line.
While sexual, it is not romantic. The 2nd 3rd and 4th lines build romantic images and it all comes to a “silent sucking sound?” That doesn’t make sense! If it’s silent it can’t be a sound at all. Poetry loves an abstraction, but it still has to makes sense eventually. That abstraction is too abstract. Pleasureu did place a good grouping of alliteration, notice the S.

Sweetheart
Feel the tremor that invades you
Fingers coaxing slow your spreading lips
Peel away the hood from tiny rosebud
Let my tongue make love to your sweet clit

Everybody out of the car! The thirds stanza is okay but suffers from a different rhyme pattern again. This time it’s AFGHI. What it does have though is a rhythm and so it works in a sort of odd way. I’m worn out guys; you’re going to have to walk out of this one before we reach the end.

Sweetheart as a refrain is too abrupt an end sound, in my opinion. This causes a verbal pause before you can slide into the second line. It is unnatural sounding. The next stanza continues:

Sweetheart
Can I rest inside you deeply
Feel your muscle pull me ever tight
Explode again within your silken cavern
Ecstatic scream to greet the morning light

Ok another rhyme pattern don’t worry I won’t quote it anymore. Again the meter is all over the place. The last three lines save the stanza, although the use of the word “ever” in the second line puts a syllabic stress on that last word "tight" hard enough to break it.

Sweetheart
Can we make love this morning
Then tender lay beneath warm afterglow
Cuddle in the bliss of sweet contentment
For loving you, is all I want to know

Okay no mas, no mas, I surrender to the love this man has for his woman. I’m not going to open the cliché door either. After all Valentines Day is near. This is a simple straight forward ode and what you read is what you get. A good deal of the word choice I chalk up to Pleasureu being English (at least I think he is) I’m sure this sounds better with an English accent. Plenty of Yanks like it too it is after all #1
11 voters can’t be wrong.

Rides over! I hear a rumbling is it the bulls? Unfortunately no, it is the #2 poem by Pleasureu but I won’t look I just hope it doesn’t rhyme. behind that is the #3 poem by pleasureu. By the time this is over we may all be trampled.

U.P.


More amazing feats

 

[Guest]

Schools Out!

I thought this forum was for writing poetry not a freakin classroom

 

[mayi]

Poetry Lover, since Unmasked Poet started the thread to ripe apart the poems that happen to make it to the top of the list, I guess we must put up with it or not read the thread. I do find it amusing that not one poem reaches his level of good, but I have yet seen one of his poems make it to the top.

And Unmasked, Pleasureu, is english, but at the same time he suffers from loss of sight. If his poems do not hold to your level of perfection, you need to look beyond the letters to the words and what is being said. True poetry comes from the heart, reaching to another heart. It looks like that is happening, wither you like it or not.

mayi

 

[Unmasked Poet]

How do.

Welcome to the poetry forum Mayi, I was under the impression you read this thread I have never riped a poem in my life. I do examine poetry, I do take poems apart and tinker and look at the mechanism of why it does or does not work. I even joke about it. But I never attack the poet.

I have had several conversations with Pleasureu around this thread. The poem is the only thing that is relevant. Admittedly my standards are different than others I would not say higher. I look for more depth than some and that depth has to be on the page. Its source is not important. I’m not evaluating someone’s feelings or their heart. I am evaluating their poetry. Which is given in word and voice and interpreted by the same.

True poetry comes from the mind, not the heart. The heart has nothing to do with poetry. It is talent and skill and practice. Whether I like a poem or not is irrelevant. I use the poem I review to point out structure and form and talent and imagery. I cannot measure nor do I want to try and quantify the amount of emotion a writer uses while creating a poem. The amount of heart a poet has does not translate to good writing. If that were the case we would all be poet laureates.

I don’t think you hang around here much, if you did you would know that I spend a great deal of time encouraging writers and trying to help those that want to write better. If all a poet wants to do is turn out base emotional instinct emoting to paper fine. Don’t expect me to tell you it’s good poetry. Painful memories are not good poems; diary entries are not good poems. Descriptions of happiness I do not consider good poetry. What you may see a ripping apart I see as constructive criticism with flair. If something works I will say so, if it doesn’t I will say that. If a writer is not interested in improving fine, that’s just more for me to talk about. Poetry is writing and writing is a skill. The only thing that is finite in a writer is talent. Talent can only take you so far skill will do the rest. To be the best poet you can be regardless of aspirations or why you write you need to learn the skill.

Does everyone deserve a pat on the back sure they do? That doesn’t men their poetry is good though. Pleasureu’s sight has nothing to do with writing his poetry. I happen to know he is pleased to be a part of this community and doesn’t give a hoot about what I or anyone else writes. He writes for his own reasons, as you read for yours.

True poetry comes from the heart, reaching to another heart. It looks like that is happening, wither you like it or not.

Curious I find your definition of poetry interesting. But you’re wrong I do not care where it comes from at all. I do not offer opinion on what is and is not true poetry. Every thing I have talked about in this thread is “true poetry.” Just not all of it is truly good poetry in my opinion. I welcome you to start a thread “True Poetry” We can never have enough poets and those that support them here.

Thanks for your opinion; I look forward to more heart from you.


U.P.

 

[WickedEve]

Poetry Lover

I thought this forum was for writing poetry not a freakin classroom

This forum is for discussing poetry. We write, we read, we critique, we teach, we learn.

 

[Whispersecret]

I admire Mayi's loyalty to his/her friend(?) pleasureu, but in this forum we tell it like it is in the interest of self-improvement.

This forum is for poetry feedback and discussion, hence it's name. Feedback is when you explain what you thought about a poem. Discussion is when we all talk together about poetry.

U.P. gave feedback, very pointed feedback, yes, but still only feedback. Not everyone will appreciate what he does, obviously. The people that do appreciate it: care about the quality of their work, not the emotion behind it; are open to hear criticism of their work without being hurt; are interested in uplifting the standards of poetry on this site; want to learn more about poetry and perhaps share what they know with others.

When people say that all that matters in poetry is that you wrote from your heart, it reminds me of when people in the story forum say, in defense of a bad story, "Well, it's only PORN." As if that excuses them from being responsible for writing something of low quality. (And I am not saying pleasureu's poem was bad.)

Let's say someone with a horrible voice sings a song and you tell them they were off key. They say, "But I really sang from my heart." Well, that may be true, but they were still off key.

Or say they sing Barney's theme song "I Love You, You Love Me," off key and you say so. They say, "Well, it's the stupid BARNEY song, plus it's only for kids. Duh." Well, that may be true, but they were still off key.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not trying to censor people. I'm not saying people can't write what they want, how they want it. All I'm saying is that if you post your work for public consumption you have to understand that people might talk about it.

If you don't want to hear what people say, then you have two choices. One, don't post your stuff. We can't talk about it if we can't read it. Two, don't come here to the discussion forum.

 

[Blue Dolphin]

discussion

Firstly, I mus thank my dear friend Mayi for her support, and for telling me of the assasination of my work.

UP.
At least you got one thing right, this poem is a heartfelt expression of one persons love for another.
I may not fit into your classification system, do not use extended adjectives, nor do I paraphrase similies.
what I do sir, is write what I feel.
if that does not fit into your constricted visions of what poetry should be, then the problem is yours Sir, not mine.
Yes, I appreciate that this is a discussion thread, but, personally speaking i feel that you have devalued immeasureably what I was saying to this lady.

Fortunately,when I first sent this to her, prior to posting she was delighted with it, and, still remains so.
No doubt you could dissect each and everyone of my poems, with the same slashing blade that you ysed here.
Should you wish to do so, feel free, this is a discussion thread,and by posting my work,I am leaving my self open to this .
Does it concern me?
No.
I receive feedback, from those who have read my work, and I value that more than any words that have ever been written here.
Feedback that says
"Yes, I have been there, I too have cried,loved, laughed"
I receive thanks for expressing feelings in a way that those of us who would seem to bo obviously less intellectually gifted than yourself, can understand.
I write simply
And it is from the heart, even though you dispute that as well, the heart and the mind are inexcorably linked Sir.
The one good thing to come out of this is that at least now, the newer poets are gaining exposure, although I have no doubt that during the next few days my work will slowly slip from the list and disappear,as the establishment start to read and vote.
that is ok, I have been there, my friends, who, unbelievably like my work,have voted and made their choice.
Thank you dor taking the time to read this.
P

 

[Unmasked Poet]

I hear you

Pleasureu,
I enjoyed reading your comment. All I have done is simply pointed out some of the construction flaws of your poem. The rules are not mine, just as the rules of punctuation, syntax and grammar are not mine. I did not make them up. If you do not understand the forms of poetry you cannot follow them should you choose to. I am not a harbinger of gloom because I point out the flaws. Your work is an excellent example of what not to do if you wish to use the form or structures of verse. These form or rules as you like to call them are not constrictive, if you would learn them you would see they are no more constrictive then the rules of spelling. Applying these rules would actually improve your poetry and allow more of what you consider your heart to show.

I wonder why poetry is so disrespected that many of those who write it feel they do not need to even aquire a basic set of skills to perform it. We learn basic sentence structure to write. We learn the foundation of addition subtraction division etc. to do math.

Yes, I appreciate that this is a discussion thread, but, personally speaking i feel that you have devalued immeasureably what I was saying to this lady.

Pleasureu I spoke about a poem not a person, and not your feelings. No disservice has been done. As a writer I suggest you learn to separate these things. If you don’t then you will always feel that any comment not praising or empathetic is an attack and that is not the case.

Feedback that says
"Yes, I have been there, I too have cried,loved, laughed"
I receive thanks for expressing feelings in a way that those of us who would seem to bo obviously less intellectually gifted than yourself, can understand.

Pleasureu,
You’re support group and those people you speak for will always love you.
Of course you value the feedback from those who praise your work. Who wouldn’t? You will receive far more praise feedback then constructive feedback especially here. With all of this praise why are you so concerned with one dissenting opinion?

Fortunately,when I first sent this to her, prior to posting she was delighted with it, and, still remains so.

I find it hard to believe that my opinion of a poem could affect her value of it. You vastly overestimate my sphere of influence.

No doubt you could dissect each and everyone of my poems, with the same slashing blade that you ysed here.

It did not take a blade; things of poor construction tend to fall down by themselves.

Should you wish to do so, feel free, this is a discussion thread,and by posting my work,I am leaving my self open to this .
Does it concern me?
No.

Wonderful, I had no intention of stopping, thank you for your support. I look forward to your next #1. While it may not be of concern, you do seek it. For example the moment your first poem hit #1 January 13th 2002 you posted to the new #1 thread:

number 1
Well then,
a poem of mine just hit the top spot.
A Life Refreshed.
wonder what the intellectuals will say about that.
No offence intended BTW.

Hmmmm I think that is asking for a critique. How impatient you are. Then you posted:

6 hours later
Well, I just wonder
At 8pm EDt on Sun night my poem A life Refreshed, was #1 on erotic poems list.
Score 4.67, from 13 votes.

Five hours later

Is #60
score 4.006, drom 16 votes.

This smacks of collusion to me.
Leaves me very suspicious.
Are there persons with a vested interest, who seeing a poem not from thee " group who seem to own the list" on top, actually go in and vote as low as possible.The new #1 now ,has come from nowhere with 25 votes, good luck to the author.
But,I wonder

Is not a nice thing to say, but has to be asked.

Pleasureu there was no conspiracy your poem simply hit the list gained exposure and lost the cocoon of praise it had on the new poems list. You simply received 3 votes

The one good thing to come out of this is that at least now, the newer poets are gaining exposure, although I have no doubt that during the next few days my work will slowly slip from the list and disappear, as the establishment start to read and vote.

Newer poets are now gaining exposure because the older poets cleared more than half the top list off. If the older poets hadn’t that list would still be a logjam. As the banner child for the new poets we welcome you. You have been posting longer than many poets who participate in this forum. There is no establishment. (LOL) Well okay, I admit it after work I go to the secret chamber we all sit around a big boardroom voting up the poems that represent the values of the establishment and down the top list the poems of the newer poets. Later I will show you the secret handshake.

In truth poorly written poems sit on the list longer than the better ones. Take heart Pleasureu there are more of you (I write from the heart poets) here, than there are those in the establishment. (Whatever that is, if you would be so kind as to tell me I would be grateful) The top list is about popularity not quality. The more popular you become, the more your poems will make the list. No one is conspiring to keep you off the list, and to be honest your poems will get a lot more attention if they are on the list.

Please join our community, it thrives when there are more voices. I encourage you to reply to other poets, create threads, and talk about the things in poetry that you like. Get to know the poets that come to this forum and participate. Whether you want to improve your poetry with education on the art of writing it. Or you think your poetry is great the way it is. This “establishment” of writers would like your participation. Now I have to go and see what the new #1 is.

"The Establishment"(oops! U.P.)

 

[daughter]

Mayi and Pleasure

I write things for my lover and he writes for me. No matter how sappy the work, we love the demonstration. We're both writers, too. So in our sphere, we just as quickly point out the syrup and yuck it up. My lover will honestly tell me when my work needs improving structurally. He never argues about how I felt when I wrote it. That element of writing is sacred.

I'm with U.P., we talk about writing. I don't know any of you well. Who am I to talk about how you felt? I have written bad poems that are special to me. I'm not going to demand that my audience appreciates them because I love them. That is silly.

The woman you wrote this for loved it. So what if U.P. critiqued it? She doesn't value his opinion so where is the offense? And nobody has fallen from grace with the mass readers here because of what U.P. has written. He ain't got it like that and I wish folks stop assigning power to him that he doesn't have.

U.P. evaluates the elements of writing. SA blows up the list everytime he pens a poem. And U.P. picks on the fella's work without hesitation.

This is a public arena. We are free to respond as we please just as the writer is free to write as he pleases.

My daughter writes silly stories. I tell her they're wonderful. She's a child. We're adults. Shouldn't we act like it?

Pleasureu, I like all the poets here. I am thrilled you're here. However, I do not think all the poetry written by us is good. These are two different things. The poet who cannot make this distinction is setting himself up for unnecessary grief.

I'll tell you what respecting a poet really means: It means being honest with the poet. My honesty isn't the godspel, but it is my sincere desire to support what you do. Toss or use what I offer. I also respect your choice.

Lastly, U.P. makes an assertion that solidly affirms my attitude about writing poetry. Only in this art form, do folk have the gumption to claim a title without any sense of obligation and respect to learn the craft.

If you want to write poetry with no regard for the art, fine. But, don't disrespect the art or those who hold it sacred, and call yourself a poet. Poets are committed to their craft.

I wonder why poetry is so disrespected that many of those who write it feel they do not need to even aquire a basic set of skills to perform it. We learn basic sentence structure to write. We learn the foundation of addition subtraction division etc. to do math.

Peace,

daughter

 

[WriterDom]

If you post your poetry on a public board, you open yourself up to criticism. From what I've seen, UP offers constructive criticism. I've always encouraged more poetry discussion. While knowing in the back of my mind that someone like UP (and others yet to come) would come along dissect (not assassinate) a poem and feelings would get hurt. There is some really awful poetry here that UP could dig out if he/she (what are you anyway?) wanted to tear people down. But that's not happening. A poem sitting in #1 of the top list should be able to face the scorn and praise of the critics.

Poets can be a vain lot. We see our poems through emotional lenses as if they were an extension of ourselves, or perhaps as if they are our children.

But they are just poems.

Octavio Paz, the first Mexican to win the Nobel Prize for Literature, once wrote:

"I have a great belief in poetry, but not in poets. Poets are the transmitters, the conduits. They are no better than other people. Poets are vain-we have many defects. We must realize that we are human beings and be humble. Poetry is very important, but poets are not."

 

[daughter]

Tell it WD

Poets can be a vain lot. We see our poems through emotional lenses as if they were an extension of ourselves, or perhaps as if they are our children.

But they are just poems.

Octavio Paz, the first Mexican to win the Nobel Prize for Literature, once wrote:

"I have a great belief in poetry, but not in poets. Poets are the transmitters, the conduits. They are no better than other people. Poets are vain-we have many defects. We must realize that we are human beings and be humble. Poetry is very important, but poets are not."

Amen!

WD, well said. I love this quote. I'll admit it. Any poet want argue she's never been guilty of vanity, arrogance and over-sensitivity? LOL

Thanks for adding your view.

Peace,

daughter

 

[Blue Dolphin]

The Establishment

Well Well well
At last the Establishment shows its true clolours, and proves what a farce the top losts are


24 hours ago, I had 5 poems in the top ten.
The top one was then savaged.
I compleined.
and now
a day later
not one of those poems is in the top100
the hit squad has been sent out
to downvote pleasureu.
well my friends, you have shot yourselves in the foot somewhat
Another of my poems received votes today,and now stands at #1

I must apologise for the typo in the title of the new #1
It should be Cross Misted Fields Of Time

I await more savagery and down voting, with added interest.