The official Lit quarantine for song parodies

[AbsintheFather]

You're on roll . . keep it going!

 

[AbsintheFather]

Lit quarantine is somehow more appropriate these days . . .

Joe Cocker's You Can Leave Your Hat On:

Baby wash your hands
Real slow
And take off your shoes
I'll take off your shoes
Baby take off your dress
Yes yes yes

You can leave your mask on
You can leave your mask on
You can leave your mask on

Go on over there
Stand six feet away
Turn down the lights
Come over here
Bend over that chair
That's right
Raise your ass up in the air
Now shake it good
You give me a reason to risk it
You give me a reason to risk it
You give me a reason to risk it
You give me a reason to risk it
Sweet darling

You can leave your mask on
You can leave your mask on

Suspicious minds a thinkin'
maybe you’re infected
I don’t believe
‘cause this need of mine
is way too strong
I wanna feel what covid is
I wanna feel what covid is
I wanna feel what covid is
I know what covid is
Now I have a fever and a cough
Sweet darling

You can leave your mask on
You can leave your mask on
You can leave your mask on
You can leave your mask on

 

[sally_sparrow]

A hobby of mine is to give well-known songs new, twisty lyrics. An esoteric interest, to be sure, so I don't want to gunk up other threads with it, the way I killed the Lit funeral thread with the one I will start with. So I will keep my efforts here, and add as something pops (could happen tonight). Others unfortunately, er, similarly interested can contribute, too.

Here is Literotica Pie


A long long time ago
I can still remember how
That musing used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could have a hot romance
And maybe I'd be happy for a while

But O the summer made me shiver
With every quip that I'd deliver
Bad nudes on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step

I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his hotwife bride
Something teased me deep inside
The day the musing died

So

Bye, bye, Literotica Pie
Drove my "Chevy" in her levee but the levee was dry
And them good ole boys were jerking off to hentai
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die

Did you cum on the book of love
And do you have faith in the post above
If Wild_Honey tells you so?
Do you believe in cock and hole?
Can musing save your horny soul?
And can you teach me how to fuck real slow?

Well, I know that you're in love with him
'Cause I saw you flirtin' on the thread
You both showed off your boobs
Man, you made my balls so blue-hoo

I was a lonely midage broncing buck
Into masturbation and being a cuck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the musing died
I started singin'

Bye, bye, Literotica Pie
Drove my "Chevy" in her levee but the levee was dry
And them good ole boys were jerking off to hentai
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die

Now, for ten years I've been without a moan
And moss grows fat on my swollen stones
But, that's not how it used to be

When Jett would sing for the size queens
And coat their furrows with his cream
In a voice that smacked of ecstasy
Oh and while Jett was hitting up Corbal
Oxford pleased the horny crowd
The orgy was adjourned
No condoms were returned
And while Ice Princess wrote the book on snark
The foursome frolicked in the park
And we snuck handies in the dark
The day the musing died
We were singin'

Bye, bye Literotica Pie
Drove my "Chevy" in her levee but the levee was dry
Them good ole boys were jerking off to hentai
And singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die

Hump her bump her in a summer swelter

The babes in tight shorts and halters
Gettin' me one foot high and rising fast
It all turned foul on the GB grass
The playahs tried to make a pass
With Jett on the sidelines in a cast
With her half-trimmed hair and sweet perfume
My thoughts turned to her velvet womb
I got right on to dance
Oh, but I never got the chance
'Cause the playahs tried to play the field
The damn GB refused to yield
Do you recall the alts revealed
The day the musing died?
We started singin'

Bye, bye Literotica Pie
Drove my "Chevy" in her levee but the levee was dry
Them good ole boys were jerking off to hentai
And singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die


Oh, and there we were, glitter all over the place
A bunch of bottoms lost in subspace
With no time left to beg again
So come on jack me nimble, jack me quick
Make her sit on a candlestick
'Cause fire is Sassydevil's only friend
Oh and as I watched her rub my cock cage
Her hands were gloved in fists of rage
No angel born in Hell
Could break that satin spell
And as ForestFlame stepped high into her tights
To fuel a sacrilegious rite
I saw Sassy
laughing
with delight
The day the musing died
She was singin'

Bye bye Literotica pie
Drove my "Chevy" in her levee, but the levee was dry
Them good ole boys were jerking off to hentai
Singing this will be the day that I die
This will be the day that I die


I met a girl wearing sheer blue
And I asked her for some happy news
But she licked her lips and turned away

I went way down to Page 4
Where I'd saw the musing years before
But the admin said the threads were locked away

And on the board the flame wars screamed
The whiners cried, and the horndogs creamed
But not a word was spoken
Ben-wah balls all were broken

And the three things I admire the most
Absinthe_Father, the sun, and the five-word post
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the musing died
And they were singing...


Byyyye, bye Literotica Pie
Drove my "Chevy" in her levee but the levee was dry
And them good ole boys were jerking off to hentai
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die

They were singing
(Chorus of hundreds) Bye, bye Literotica Pie
Drove my "Chevy" in her levee but the levee was dry
Them good ole boys were jerking off to hentai
Singin' THIIS'LL BE THE DAY THAT I DIE

This is amazing Love this. Now I have another writing piece to work on

 

[Fingerfuxs]

well done sunshine , a gold record thread on the way to going platinum. I very much am enjoy reading it so much I’m not even going to go weird Al comparing. This thread totally balances out the , BB thread. The third lamest thread on Lit. I highly doubt the bump police will be summoned either.

 

[ydahecnot]

Thank you. Now that you have unearthed it, I gotta think of something.

Apologies to Mr. Grohl

Images are pretty
Images are good
Seems that she is really truly one hot mother
What the hell’s her secret
What makes her so good
Even cumming yet again is no problem

This is a call to all my past masturbations
This is a call to all

Her French nails are pretty
Her French nails are good
Seems that all they ever wanted was to mark me
Them nipples are pretty....big
And say they should ever grow ever dark
It’s high time to mark them

This is a call to all my past masturbations
This is a call to all
This is a call to all my past masturbations
They get me long

Licking it is pretty
Licking it is good
Even all the lips and juice just make it harder
Hitting it is easy
Hitting it is good
Even all the time I’m hosing down the carpet

This is a call to all my past masturbations
This is a call to all
This is a call to all my past masturbations
Hey get me long

 

[sally_sparrow]

Giving this a try. Here goes nothing

Hello Litsters, my internet friends
I've come to talk with you again
Of a vision which caused edging
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
And emits from me sounds of indulgence

From a steamy dream I woke alone
And hastily checked my phone
'Neath the halo of of my bedside lamp
I pull my panties down and feel warm and damp
Then my eyes were blessed by the flash of a new message
How fucking sexy he is
Which lead to sounds of indulgence

And, naked now in my bed I read
A steamy message from my friend
He was talking about eating my pussy
And how he wanted to be serving me
He sent words that titillated my brain
Here I remain
Creating sounds of indulgence

"Sexy," said I, "You do not know
How much you make me indulge so
Read my words that might teach you
Take my word that I will have you.
And my words like oozing jets of cum burst
And coat my walls of indulgence

And he bowed after we played
To the Goddess whom he made
Then my inbox flashed out its alert
In it were words that made me squirt
In the message it said, "I've written about it on the forum walls
On threads all over different genres"
Which made me groan sweet sounds of indulgence.

 

[ydahecnot]

All this sexy talk is nice, but what I am jonesing for is some math.

I've been rhombus for you
I’ve found square rooots too
But I just can't get to 2c
I've divided by 5 for you
Followed bell curves for you
But the equation is still incomplete
You got me subbing a 10 for a
'Cause you’re on a tangent
Feeling degrees away
And it seems so protracted
I chart a graph
And you solve for i
I believe it's time for me to pi



Maybe I will do the second verse later

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Hey sunshine , do you take requests?

Some girls

 

[Sweet_Lara]

Busted flat in Lit Land, waitin’ on a guy
When I’s feelin’ mighty horny from my thoughts
Little Blue hummed my pussy good just before that high
That took me all the way to newfound heights

I pulled my blue vibe out of my juicy pink vagina
I’s playin’ hard while waitin’ on the dude
Zeppelin One keepin’ time
I’s tappin’ Blue, so divine
I moaned every time that wand moved

Solo’s just another word for no-one ‘round to play
Cummin’, it’s still cummin’, honey, all would agree
And cummin’ hard was easy, Lit, any time of day
You know, feelin’ good was good enough for me
Good enough for me, ’cause of my little vee

 

[sally_sparrow]

I was inspired while in the shower this morning.

To the tune of "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith

In the morning
Don't say you don't have time
'Cause I'll only tie you down and make you mine.
You know how I like to feel nice and smooth
And you can't deny that you don't love the feeling of my soft skin as we groove.

I don't think you'll need much persuading
It usually doesn't take much to get you aching
To touch me, feel me, pet me...oooohhhh
Don't rush, don't be in a hurry, no, no
Shaving cream, rinse, and lather with lotion
I know you're craving to get things in motion
Let's go upstairs and get things started, c'mon

You better shaaaave me.
Move the razor slowly oooooover my knee.
Right now, you are mine, that's how it's meant to be
So baby, shave me.

 

[ydahecnot]

Nice work, you two. Janis and Rod would abide.

Now that second verse:

You said that the value’s naught
You said that you had some doubt
Bout carrying the 2 from above
Oh, but I'm tired of scribbling on
When I know the coefficient’s gone
I do believe that I've worked enough

I've had enough of the roughness
Of a too-hard equation
Of beeeing way too far
From the standard deviation
I chart a graph
And you solve for i
I believe it's time for me to pi

TIME FOR ME TO PI

 

[sally_sparrow]

One more for today

The problem is you don't give me enough head, she said to me
Most women cum from playing with their clit, now don’t you see
So if you're certain she will give you one more chance
There must be fifty ways to please your lover
Fifty ways to please your lover

You know it's really not my habit to be lewd
Furthermore I hope that no one thinks I’m being crude
So I'll repeat myself, in hopes of you getting off, getting screwed
There must be fifty ways to please your lover
Fifty ways to please your lover

You slide a finger in her crack, Jack
Let her cum on your hand, Stan
Use her like a toy, Roy
It'll never get old
Massage her bust, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Lick her where she pees, Lee
And get yourselves off

You know it grieves me so to see your balls so tight and blue
But I've been thinking there might be something you can do
And he said, I appreciate that
But could you say a few
Words about the fifty ways?

I said why don't you both just sleep with her tonight
I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
Then she sucked him, and he realized she was probably right
There must be fifty ways to please your lover
Fifty ways to please your lover

You just finger her ass, Jack
Let her cum on your hand, Stan
Use her like a toy, Roy
It'll never get old
Massage her bust, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just lick her where she pees, Lee
And get yourselves off

 

[ydahecnot]

If a guy indulges in too many of the 50 ways, he could end up in this situation. I hope that nearly 7-foot Midnight Oil guy forgives me.

Down where the rash broke
The morning wood, it needs a soak
Ugly spots that smack of measles
Fill my forty-five degrees

The time has come
To shave that hair
Remove those crabs
Get right down there

The time has come
A sad, sad fact
I’ve had no sex
It drives me wack

How can I fill
That deep primal yearning
How can I fuck
While my dick is burning

How can I fill
That deep primal yearning
How can I fuck
While my dick is burning

The time has come
To shave that hair
Remove those crabs
Get right down there

Buy Blue Star’s what I gotta do
Maybe get penicillin too
Anything so I won’t grieve
My forty-five degrees

The time has come
To shave that hair
Remove the crabs
Get right down there

The time has come
A sad, sad fact
I’ve had no sex
It makes me whack

How can I fill
That deep primal yearning
How can I fuck
While my dick is burning

 

[sally_sparrow]

Raindrop scented lube and black furry mittens
Big fluffy pillows and stuffies of kittens
Pink stripper poles with attached velvet swings,
These are a few of my favorite playthings.

Purple, sparkly tassles, some rope, and a whistle
Fleshlights and flashlights that glow like bright crystals
Fuzzy trim panties that tickle and cling,
These are a few of my favorite playthings

Massage oil and fresh lavender picked from meadows
Chains and a belt, a bike with plush pedals
Large set of Ben Wa balls held together with string,
These are just some of my favorite playthings

King size bed that... spins in circles
Bars that hang from the ceiling...
Each night I like to explore all my kinks
Those mentioned plus all..of..these...

Satin teddies, concealable pocket rockets
Tight laced corsets that surprisingly have pockets
Long peacock feathers, bullet vibes with wings,
These are some more of my favorite playthings

Bathroom has tub that looks like Roman ruins
Bottles of bubbles, perfumes and lotions
Clear shower stall, from all ways, water springs
Yet, still some more of my favorite playthings

Got a hot tub...filled with pudding
Full sized trampoline..
Each day I'm buying new sexual things
My house looks like a por...no scene

Masturbate with assistance of my used, wet panties
Look at the pictures I took dressed as a sexy nanny
Hundreds of dildos and jeweled cock rings
High on the list of my favorite playthings..

Video cameras with live streaming access
Chat rooms that discuss what to fuck my ass with
No one can outclass my favorite playthings,
Please let us shaaaaare... here's my address.

 

[BadAmy]

you guys are amazing.
fuck- I'll sing these on my karaoke thread, if I know the tunes!
hehe

unless you want to!

 

[sally_sparrow]

you guys are amazing.
fuck- I'll sing these on my karaoke thread, if I know the tunes!
hehe

unless you want to!

I would love to hear you sing these

 

[sally_sparrow]

To the tune of Pure Imagination from Willy Wonka

Hope you don't mind that I've been posting so much. This has been fun

Madams and Sirs
sluts and toys
The sex room

Hold your breath
Make a wish
Count to three

Come with me and be free
To express your lust and fornication
Take a look and you'll see
Its not your imagination
We'll begin with a spin
On the swing, and then you can ride the sybian
What we'll witness, in your bliss is
nothing short of pure exhilaration

If you want to feel ecstasy
Simply say what you want, don't stew on it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to cum again?
There's nothing to it

There is no fantasy too great
To fulfill your lust and infatuation
Being here you'll be free
To express yourself lasciviously

 

[ydahecnot]

Julie Andrews is gonna shit

 

[ydahecnot]

you guys are amazing.
fuck- I'll sing these on my karaoke thread, if I know the tunes!
hehe

unless you want to!

Yeah, I want to hear the lyric “how can I fuck while my dick is burning” in your voice

 

[BadAmy]

Hope you don't mind that I've been posting so much. This has been fun

Madams and Sirs
sluts and toys
The sex room

Hold your breath
Make a wish
Count to three

Come with me and be free
To express your lust and fornication
Take a look and you'll see
Its not your imagination
We'll begin with a spin
On the swing, and then you can ride the sybian
What we'll witness, in your bliss is nothing short of pure exhilaration

If you want to feel ecstasy
Simply say what you want, don't stew on it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to cum again?
There's nothing to it

There is no fantasy too great
To fulfill your lust and infatuation
Being here you'll be free
To express yourself lasciviously

https://voca.ro/13uaqde9xCTU

 

[BadAmy]

Omg I broke the thread.

 

[ydahecnot]

No you didn’t. Sometimes it goes almost a year without a post

 

[sally_sparrow]

https://voca.ro/13uaqde9xCTU

Omg Amy you are amazing ❤

 

[Lastingimpressions]

Omg Amy you are amazing ❤

I second that! That was awesome!

 

[BadAmy]

Raindrop scented lube and black furry mittens
Big fluffy pillows and stuffies of kittens
Pink stripper poles with attached velvet swings,
These are a few of my favorite playthings.

Purple, sparkly tassles, some rope, and a whistle
Fleshlights and flashlights that glow like bright crystals
Fuzzy trim panties that tickle and cling,
These are a few of my favorite playthings

Massage oil and fresh lavender picked from meadows
Chains and a belt, a bike with plush pedals
Large set of Ben Wa balls held together with string,
These are just some of my favorite playthings

King size bed that... spins in circles
Bars that hang from the ceiling...
Each night I like to explore all my kinks
Those mentioned plus all..of..these...

Satin teddies, concealable pocket rockets
Tight laced corsets that surprisingly have pockets
Long peacock feathers, bullet vibes with wings,
These are some more of my favorite playthings

Bathroom has tub that looks like Roman ruins
Bottles of bubbles, perfumes and lotions
Clear shower stall, from all ways, water springs
Yet, still some more of my favorite playthings

Got a hot tub...filled with pudding
Full sized trampoline..
Each day I'm buying new sexual things
My house looks like a por...no scene

Masturbate with assistance of my used, wet panties
Look at the pictures I took dressed as a sexy nanny
Hundreds of dildos and jeweled cock rings
High on the list of my favorite playthings..

Video cameras with live streaming access
Chat rooms that discuss what to fuck my ass with
No one can outclass my favorite playthings,
Please let us shaaaaare... here's my address.

https://voca.ro/11kg1sjtbwpP