The official Lit quarantine for song parodies

[ydahecnot]

I admire how you regularly go at 7 a.m. Too bad you don't wake up till 8.

 

[ydahecnot]

OK, here we go


Making time on the roof
I frolicked with Ruth
Trying to consummate our affair
The last one to know
That you'd be below
It was the last time you puffed up your hair

And I was compromised
When I slipped off her thighs
When I started my journey of pain
And I tried to warn you
But twas too late, you're through
As I fell on your skull just like rain

'Cause I crush friends in low places
Where the gravity rules
And the mass chases
Their lives away
And it's not OK
I'm not big on coordination
Think I'll slip on out of the consecration
Oh, I crush friends in low places

Well, I thought I was strong
But turns out I was wrong
I shouldn't have pulled up that couch
It all seemed all right
But what a horrible sight
You were at the other end...Ouch.

And everyone screamed
At the bloody big scene
Cleanup crew for an hour and then
It's time to say bye
As my jinx-filled life
Does yet another one in

'Cause I crush friends in low places
Where the gravity rules
And the mass chases
Their lives away
And it's not OK
I'm not big on coordination
Think I'll slip on out of the consecration
Oh, I crush friends in low places

 

[ydahecnot]

This is the first song parody I recall doing, back when I was a little more crude and unenlightened. Referring to a college near my alma mater.

Stephens has some girls
Yeah, I know 'em, many been good friends of mine
But lately something's changed
And my view is refined
Stephens' got some horny bitches and I want to make one mine

And she's sporting those thunder thighs
And she's wearing that headband, I just know it!
And she's walking to that fraternity house late, late at night

You know I wish I had a Stephens girl
I wish that I had a Stephens girl
Where can I find a hose queen like that?

I play along with their charade
They don't ever see a reason to change
They talk so dirty and their asses are so cute
I really wanna fuck her but the point is probably moot

'Cause she's sporting those thunder thighs
And she's wearing that headband, I just know it!
And she's walking to that fraternity house late, late at night

You know I wish that I had a Stephens girl
I wish that I had a Stephens girl
Where can I find a hose queen like that?

Like a Stephens girl
I wish that I had a Stephens girl
Where can I find a hose queen...
Where can I find a hose queen like that?

I'm cuttin' the coke on the mirror all the time
Wonderin' what she don't see in me
I've been partying; I've been offering her lines
Ain't that the way fuckin's supposed to be?

 

[ydahecnot]

Was this what Gordon Sumner really had in mind?

There's a St. George cross on the wall today
And the same old domme as yesterday
There's a hard whack brought by a riding crop
And no use begging for it to stop

I have stood here before, in cuffs and chains
My back all exposed to the whims of her cane
I guess you all think that I’m a touch insane,
But it's my destiny to feed my kink of pain...

There's a St. George cross on the wall today
And the same old domme as yesterday
There's a black glove, boots and a corset top
There's a string of commands that just won't stop

I have stood here before, in cuffs and chains
My back all exposed to the whims of her cane
I guess you all think that I’m a touch insane,
But it's my destiny to feed my kink of pain..

Being led by a leash, crawling down the hall
With a chastity cage on my cock and balls
There are bumps on my knees, and the pain won’t ebb
I seem forever caught in a Mistress web

I have stood here before, in cuffs and chains
My back all exposed to the whims of her cane
I guess you all think that I’m a touch insane,
But it's my destiny to feed my kink of pain..

There's a old leather pouch with the crotch torn out
There's a promise to cum that I tend to doubt
There's my limbs bound and stretched across the bed
There's pussy on my face, making me give head

Kink of pain

There's a rubber band bounding up my sack
There's a black butt plug filling up my crack


There's a St. George cross on the wall today.
And the same old domme as yesterday.

I have stood here before, in cuffs and chains
My back all exposed to the whims of her cane
I guess you all think that I’m a touch insane,
But it's my destiny to feed my kink of pain.


Kink of pain [3x]

I'll always feed kink of pain... [4x and fading]

 

[Eisranac]

Here is a parody of New York New York by Frank Sinatra:

Start spreading your legs
All over the sheets
I want to eat a part of it —

On second thought, I would rather not.

Never mind.

 

[fathom7]

To the tune of he classic "Stormy Weather":

Don't know why
There's lipstick on your fly
Sloppy blowjob

Then to "I Get Ideas":

You put your hand inside my pants
And rub and squeeze my nuts . . .
I get Ideas, I get ideas

 

[barefootgirl69]

Have we trashed Schoolhouse Rock yet? No? Cool!

When Reginald was home with sweet Lu, uh-huh-huh,
The missy knew just what to do-hoo.
She showed some affection
Sought a beef injection
And gave Reginald a huuuge erection

Hey! What's up!
Ouch! That grip!
Yow! That's not fair not using your mouth down there!

Huuuge erections (Hey!) show excitement (Yow!) or emotion (Ouch!).
They're generally set apart from flaccid, looking like an exclamation point,
Or like a comma when the feeling's not as strong.

Though Geraldine made him her pet, uh-huh-huh
Geraldo knew he'd top her ye-het
He started a-stretchin'
Despite her objections
And Geraldine scoffed at his huuuge erection

Well! You've got not much!
Oh! I've never had to strain in all my life!
Hey! Your dinky's kinda cute!

Huuuge erections (Well!) show excitement (Oh!) or emotion (Hey!).
They're generally set apart from flaccid, looking like an exclamation point,
Or like a comma when the feeling's not as strong.

So when you're happy (Explode!) or sad (Squirt!)
Or frightened (Tennnn!) or mad (Cucumber!)
Or excited (Rich!) or glad (Viagra!)
A huuuge erection starts a party right.

The dame was tied, not moving at all, uh-huh-huh,
When Franklin was ready to ball ba-hall.
He slammed his connection
Lost his sense of direction,
And he found the wrong place for his huuuge erection.

Aw! I didn't say there!
Darn! You just lost your mind!
Hurray! You just made me change teams!

Huuuge erections (Aw!) show excitement (Darn!) or emotion (Hurray!).
They're generally set apart from flaccid, looking like an exclamation point,
Or like a comma when the feeling's not as strong.


So when you're happy (Explode!) or sad (Squirt!)
Or frightened (Tennnn!) or mad (Cucumber!)
Or excited (Rich!) or glad (Viagra!)
A huuuge erection starts a party right.

Huuuge erections (Hey!) show excitement (Hey!) or emotion (Hey!).
They're generally set apart from flaccid, looking like an exclamation point,
Or like a comma when the feeling's not as strong.

Huuuge erections show excitement or emotion,
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah... YEA!

Darn! It happens to every guy!....doesn't it?

*laughes until the tears flow*

huuuuge erections

 

[ydahecnot]

A year later, but I will take it...lol

 

[barefootgirl69]

A year later, but I will take it...lol

Gimme more, gimme MORE!

 

[AbsintheFather]

Your King of Pain was brilliant. Maybe your best so far . . .

Kink Kudos to you

 

[ydahecnot]

Well, it’s easy when it’s autobiog.....er, told to you by a friend

 

[AbsintheFather]

Johnny was a schoolboy
When he found his first Lit thread
'Random Thoughts' I think it was
And from there he further tread

Got himself a smart phone
So he could post all day and night
Now he's in every single thread
And everything's all right
Don't ya know

Johnny told his mama
Hey, Mom, I'm going downstairs
I'm gonna hit the basement
Gonna have some online affairs

Momma came to the door
With a teardrop in her eye
Johnny said "Don't cry Momma,
Smile and wave goodbye."

Don't you know
Don't you know
That you are a shooting star, (don't you know, don't you know)
Don't you know that you are
A shooting star
And all of Lit will love you
Just as long, as long as you are?

Johnny made a thread
Went straight up to page one
Suddenly Litsters loved to see him post
Watching all he had to say
One handed, he typed so fast
Johnny looked around him
And said "Well I made the big time at last."

Don't you know
That you are a shooting star, (don't you know, don't you know)
Don't you know that you are
A shooting star
And all of Lit will love you
Just as long, as long as you are?
A shooting star

Johnny left Lit one night
He could only last a year
He’d jerked off way too much
He felt like Richard Gere

Johnny's Lit time passed
By like a warm summer day
If you look at each new alt
You can still see him play

Don't you know
Don't you know
That you are a shooting star, (don't you know, don't you know)
Don't you know that you are
A shooting star
And all of Lit will love you
Just as long, as long as you are?
A shooting star

 

[ydahecnot]

Awesome

 

[barefootgirl69]

Johnny was a schoolboy
When he found his first Lit thread. *snip*

Brilliant!

 

[AbsintheFather]

Awesome

Brilliant!

Thanks, you two

 

[ydahecnot]

About to see Bohemian Rhapsody, soooo...

Laying restlessly beneath the sheets
With my pants pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sounds of my beats
My love gun ready to go

Am I ready, hey, am I ready for this?
Am I edging right above my feet?
All of a sudden, I feel the rip
Oh god there goes my meat

Another one bites my nuts
Another one bites my nuts
And another one chomps, and another one chomps
Another one bites my nuts
Hey, she’s gonna rip you, too
Another one bites my nuts

How do you think I'm gonna get along
When both of them are gone?
You gnawed away everything that I had
And left my without my own

I’m not happy, i’m not satisfied
Oh god, you just took my heat
Out of the kitchen the fillets rip
To get the rest of my meat

Another one bites my nuts
Another one bites my nuts
And another one chomps, and another one chomps
Another one bites my nuts
Hey, she’s gonna rip you, too
Another one bites my nuts

Oh, take em
Bite the nuts
Bite the nuts

Another one bites my nuts
Another one bites my nuts
Another one bites my nuts
Another one bites my nuts

There are plenty of ways to castrate a man
And drop them to the ground
You can slash him, you can gash him
You can treat him bad and cackle when he's down

But I'm ready, yes, I'm ready for you
I'm fleeing with my own two feet
All of a sudden I feel the rip
Repeating, there goes my meat

Another one bites my nuts
Another one bites my nuts
And another one chomps, and another one chomps
Another one bites my nuts
Hey, she’s gonna rip yours, too
Another one bites my nuts

 

[Jenaus]

A tribute to the only song which brings a tear to the corner of my eye every single time I hear it...

Bruce Springsteen - The River


I come from down in the valley
where the morals are kinky and wild
They bring you up to suck like a lady wants
Me and Mary we met in high school
when she was just seventeen
I'd ride into this valley
down to where the moist will spring

I'd go down to the river
And into the river I'd dive
Oh into to the river I'd ride

Then I got Mary horny
and man that was all she wants
And for my nineteenth birthday I got a coil of rope and a vibrator wand
We went down to the cellar
and the ropes put her all to rest
No courtesy smiles no drinks to buy
No dates no slight caress

That night I went down to the river
And into the river I'd dive
Oh into to the river I did ride

I got my dick going on in her and made her come time after time
But lately there ain't been much sex on account of all the kids who came
Now all them things that seemed so important
Well mister they vanished right into the air
Now I just act like I don't remember
Mary acts like she don't care

But I remember me riding her to ecstacy
Her body tan and wet after I shot my load
And right after that I'd just go a second time
And penetrate her just to feel each moan she'd make
Now those memories come back to haunt me
they haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse
that sends me down to the river
though I know the river is dry
That sends me down to the river tonight
Down to the river
my baby spread wide
Oh into to the river I ride

 

[ydahecnot]

Other than Leigh, no one loves Paul McCartney more than I. But he crapped out about the worst song ever, and you hear it about every damn second this time of year. Even the worst lounge singer in Paramus wouldn’t touch this. I get through the annual pestilence by tacking nonsense lyrics on to the chorus.

The reindeer sail on through the snow
All hopped up on X and blow
SIIIIIMPLY HAAAAVING A WON-DER-FUL CHRISTMAS TIME

 

[beachbaby179]

Not a song, exactly... but I wanted to put it someplace where you'd find it, Y: Merry Christmas.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through Lit-Land
The horny Lit people took matters in hand
The stockings were flung on the floor by the chair
The boxers and bras nearly made it there

The lit couples were cozy all snuggled in bed
their one handed typing made them light in the head
When out in her street there arose such a clatter
That Beachey got up to see what was the matter

When what to her wondering eyes should appear
The Devils, in uniform, visiting here!
There's Boyle, and Zajac, and Coleman and Bratt
And Schneider and Anderson, would you look at that!

The Henrique freak was saddened for only a minute
That her fantasy player wouldn't be in it.
For he had been traded away to the Ducks
But that didn't stop their imaginary fucks.

She'd seen them in full gear with hockey sticks too
Then Kinkaid stepped up and said "Can I ask you?
If it's not too much trouble, and you wouldn't mind,
Can I see if that bow will come out of its bind?"

Well Henrique left her head, and he left in a flash
And she smiled and said "Of course. You're quite brash.
But you're welcome to." And batted an eyelash.
"And look - you've even got a beard and mustache."

With a wink of an eye and a nod of his head,
they turned and they left and he took her to bed.
And out in the street, the other Devils did see
Through the curtain, Kinkaid was straddled by Dee.

And they heard her scream as they took in the sight.
Merry Christmas to all - it'll be a long night!

 

[AbsintheFather]

Not a song, exactly... but I wanted to put it someplace where you'd find it, Y: Merry Christmas.

[/I]

BB, that is Epic!

 

[beachbaby179]

BB, that is Epic!

Hahaha. I hope he likes it *bites my lip*.

 

[ydahecnot]

I dig it, but I am sure you meant Kinkaid

 

[beachbaby179]

It's the whole facial hair thing... I hope you understand...

haha - merry Christmas, Y!

 

[ydahecnot]

Merry Christmas, beachy. For all you know, I could have a bushy beard

 

[beachbaby179]

Merry Christmas, beachy. For all you know, I could have a bushy beard

Pics or it didn't happen. But I'm not holding my breath.