The official Lit quarantine for song parodies

Not a song, exactly... but I wanted to put it someplace where you'd find it, Y: Merry Christmas. :kiss:

Twas the night before Christmas and all through Lit-Land
The horny Lit people took matters in hand
The stockings were flung on the floor by the chair
The boxers and bras nearly made it there

The lit couples were cozy all snuggled in bed
their one handed typing made them light in the head
When out in her street there arose such a clatter
That Beachey got up to see what was the matter

When what to her wondering eyes should appear
The Devils, in uniform, visiting here!
There's Boyle, and Zajac, and Coleman and Bratt
And Schneider and Anderson, would you look at that!

The Henrique freak was saddened for only a minute
That her fantasy player wouldn't be in it.
For he had been traded away to the Ducks
But that didn't stop their imaginary fucks.

She'd seen them in full gear with hockey sticks too
Then Kinkaid stepped up and said "Can I ask you?
If it's not too much trouble, and you wouldn't mind,
Can I see if that bow will come out of its bind?"

Well Henrique left her head, and he left in a flash
And she smiled and said "Of course. You're quite brash.
But you're welcome to." And batted an eyelash.
"And look - you've even got a beard and mustache."

With a wink of an eye and a nod of his head,
they turned and they left and he took her to bed.
And out in the street, the other Devils did see
Through the curtain, Kinkaid was straddled by Dee.

And they heard her scream as they took in the sight.
Merry Christmas to all - it'll be a long night!

Love it!!!!
 
Halloween...the day of the "undead thread"

Happy Halloween, everyone... it's Monster Mash time... well, sort of...


I was in my mom’s basement late one night
Perving on Ampics by my phone’s blue light
When the snake in my shorts began to rise
And suddenly it’s no surprise


I did the fap… I did the online fap
The online fap it was a cum-filled splash
I did the fap, I was hard in a flash
I did the fap, I did the online fap


With my office doors closed I took a peek
In my own bedroom it did start to leak
The shorts get tented when I look at her snatch
I get a jolt when I see her pube patch


I do the fap… I do the online fap
The online fap it was a cum-filled splash
I do the fap, I get hard in a flash
I do the fap, I do the online fap


The perverts were having fun – the party had just begun
The guests included Hornblende, Trekka and Ugliest Son!


The bed was rocking, I was making some sounds
Collars and chains, and lube tubes abound
The gang bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group the “Clit Licker Five”


I did the fap… I did the online fap
The online fap it was a cum-filled splash
I did the fap, I was hard in a flash
I did the fap, I did the online fap
 
Sorry, Macca, just had to do it. Offered with luvs.

Pmann trolling in the dead of night
Take that broken soul and learn to type
All your life
You were only waiting for that hooker to arrive

Pmann perving in the dead of night
Take those sunken hopes and learn to grieve
All your life
You were only waiting for a thread to post all your pet peeves

Pmann type, Pmann type
Feeling the slights in your dark black cries

Pmann type, Pmann type
Into the rants of your dark black sighs

Pmann railing in the dead of night
Take her ugly pants and learn to deride
All your life
You were only waiting for that hooker to arrive
You were only waiting for that hooker to arrive
You were only waiting for that hooker to arrive

 
Sorry, Macca, just had to do it. Offered with luvs.

Pmann trolling in the dead of night
Take that broken soul and learn to type
All your life
You were only waiting for that hooker to arrive

Pmann perving in the dead of night
Take those sunken hopes and learn to grieve
All your life
You were only waiting for a thread to post all your pet peeves

Pmann type, Pmann type
Feeling the slights in your dark black cries

Pmann type, Pmann type
Into the rants of your dark black sighs

Pmann railing in the dead of night
Take her ugly pants and learn to deride
All your life
You were only waiting for that hooker to arrive
You were only waiting for that hooker to arrive
You were only waiting for that hooker to arrive


*slow clap* well played.

Bravo, sir, bravo..*golf clap*
 
Gulp...with apologies to Dexys Midnight Runners. But not to Kevin Rowland, he sucks.

More death every day
Growing sadness from the viral
And it scars a million hearts in toto
The survivors cried
We sobbed along
A blame game?

We’re torn (we’re torn up)
So torn up (so torn up)
Now we need each other more than ever

Covid-19

Please just, please just, please just go away
And we can live, as can our fathers

Covid-19
Oh, I swear (you’re obscene)
At this moment, you ruin everything
You cause distress
We’re frightened, I confess
Did us dirty
Oh, Covid-19

Covid-19

Less people 'round here
Left with vacant eyes sunk in tube-filled faces
Praying that’s not what out fate is

And yes us (we’re sweating)
And yes us (we’re fretting)
We are not too young and clever
To get it

Please just, please just, please just go away
And leave us ‘lone forever

Covid-19
Oh, I swear (you’re obscene)
Ah, come on, you ruin everything
We have no redress
A rampage in progress
Ah, Covid
Ah, Covid-19

Growing distress
Relief (please say yes)
Ah, Covid
Ah, Coviiid-19

Covid-19, please just go away
Covid-19, please just go away
Now sink like a stone
Now just leave us alone
Oh, 19

Say, Covid-19
Your toll is too real
Doesn’t care how we feel
Now we must care more than ever
Life 'round here has changed

I say please just, please just go away

Covid-19
Oh, I swear (you’re obscene)
At this moment, you ruin everything
You cause distress,
We’re frightened, I confess
Did us dirty
Fuck Covid-19
 
I was listening to a podcast of a story earlier today about Weird Al and his career. Naturally, you and this thread came to mind while listening. You missed a calling in life, Y.
 
If you wanna bugger, you've got to lube her up
Butt pain
If you wanna tap brown, pound like a hound
Butt pain

Please don’t grind, please don’t grind, please don’t grind
Butt pain

If you got bad news, her mense is now due
Butt pain
When your bone is on hum and you wanna have fun
Butt pain

Please be kind, please be kind, please be kind
Butt pain

‘Fore the day is done and you’re losing the sun
Butt pain
You’re eyeing her crack and then bowing her back
Butt pain

One more time, one more time, one more time
Butt pain
One more time, one more time, one more time
BUTT PAIN
(Live version)
 
Thank you. I hope “in quarantine” will remain figurative

Hmmmm . . . what rhymes with 'quarantine' ?


Well, you should see Quarantine Pam
She was good-looking but now she looks like a man
Hasn’t shaved in weeks and now her armpits reek
Yes, you should see Quarantine Pam
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Get a dose of her in sweatpants and socks
All the dudes used to think she’s a fox
She's the kind of a girl that used to Netflix and Chill
Yes, but now she just faps with her box
Yeah, yeah, yeah
 
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(Sung to the Tune of "Yesterday")

Quarantine
You could be nice but no, you're really mean
This has all become quite obscene
I've had enough of Quarantine

Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be (that line still sort of works, huh?)
I'm sick of my family, and they're sick of me
I've had enough of Quarantine
 
Well done. Beatles is usually a pretty good source

Nice, LIG.

The thing is that we all know Beatles tunes and it's easy to get the melodies in your head. When I was thinking about songs for quarantine last night, I also briefly considered Stone Temple Pilots 'Vaseline' as a base. But who the hell knows that song, really?
 
Well, I made songs by Elastica and the Cranberries into two of my favorites, so ‘90s grunge/alt does have options
 
Well, I made songs by Elastica and the Cranberries into two of my favorites, so ‘90s grunge/alt does have options


and I read they lyrics, they were good, but had no clue how the melody was supposed to go. Now that you say Cranberries . . I think I know the tune now . . .
 
A PSA for these times, from Alice Cooper, kinda.

Next to your baby
Far from all alone
Five friends to your right
A party that you love
Putting you deep in doodoo
You think you're all so tight
Did you hear that sneeze
Did you move that face
Or did you take that stream
Shit just got real
Now what happens, babe
You gotta be screened

Don’t be daft
Be that man behind the mask
And just take back control
Think fast
Be that man behind the mask
And you’ll stay...out...of...a...hole

You're kissing with your girl
Without a single break
Her forehead ain’t cold
It softens your bone
But the liplock don’t break
That's a risk you take
You were quite a fool
Took a big old chance
Now you’re stuck at home
Quarantined alone
Is it your last dance
A coronaromance

Don’t be daft
Be that man behind the mask
Don’t sell Wall Street your soul
Think fast
Be that man behind the mask
And you’ll stay...out...of...a...hole
 
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Offered as song satire, not political commentary. If you have a parody more favorable to the President of the United States of America (you’ll see what I did there), this is a safe space for that.

Trump sat alone in a West Wing chair
Something weird going on with his hair
Thinking of beauty pageant mamas
While wearing Hugh Hefner pajamas

He’s Trump, he’s Trump, he’s Trump
What’s in his head?
He’s Trump, he’s Trump, he’s Trump
He’s so whitebread

Trump got in the wrong line for brains
And he ended up dancing just like Elaine
Spreading covfefe ‘cross the land
Is Trump fast asleep while he’s rubbing his glans?

He’s Trump, he’s Trump, he’s Trump
What’s in his head?
He’s Trump, he’s Trump, he’s Trump
It might be lead

Trump was limp and horny and he needed to cum
Found a trophy wife and pretended it was love
Wasted her twenties between his sheets
At least he gooed at near-sonic speeds

He’s Trump, he’s Trump, he’s Trump
What’s in his head?
He’s Trump, he’s Trump, he’s Trump
Something to dread

Is this Trump outta his head?
I think so
Is this Trump all that he said?
Don’t think so
Will Biden be in his stead?
Let’s hope so
 
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