"To keep the review thread clean..."

[EroticOrogeny]

Thanks LadynStFreknBed for mentioning my poem today. When I said it I felt I could put the stress on either syllable, and everything else fit so well ...

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Thanks to Dora for your kind mention of 'I knew his brother' but can you please point out the faults, funny how one person (well me anyway) can read it til they are blue in the face and still not see blinding faults!

 

[champagne1982]

I'd like to thank Annie for the sweet hello she left on my latest sub, the illustrated, Persistence Of Memory.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Thanks to Dora for your kind mention of 'I knew his brother' but can you please point out the faults, funny how one person (well me anyway) can read it til they are blue in the face and still not see blinding faults!

I know the feeling, dear Annie. I usually need someone else to find mine. I'll email you with what I spotted. Just little stuff.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Can anyone tell me why In solid rows has come up all in capital letters? It certainly wasn't submitted that way!

 

[EroticOrogeny]

Can anyone tell me why In solid rows has come up all in capital letters? It certainly wasn't submitted that way!

That is weird - even the articles and prepositions. I know you're not a fan of capitalizing starting lines, and not all caps, as if the bit had been hit. Your other poem came up right.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

That is weird - even the articles and prepositions. I know you're not a fan of capitalizing starting lines, and not all caps, as if the bit had been hit. Your other poem came up right.

I didn't even notice at first but wondered why it looked wrong somehow ..... I even went and checked the original to make doubly sure!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Lorencino I don't understand the reason for the capitals either I didn't put them there!!!!!!! as I would have explained to you if your PMs had been open but thankyou for the mention *goes away to scream in a corner*

 

[lorencino]

Lorencino I don't understand the reason for the capitals either I didn't put them there!!!!!!! as I would have explained to you if your PMs had been open but thankyou for the mention *goes away to scream in a corner*

You can't imagine how relieved I am to learn that it was not intentional. Your glitter thus remains untarnished for me.

 

[lorencino]

Quoted from the New Poetry Recommendations thread

I'd like to add that I enjoyed Thistle very much and it deserves more comments and votes

peach 77 is a new appearance on Literotica with four poems posted. They are all perfect gems worth reading.

 

[miss_trust]

Thank you, Dora & lorencino, for the recent mentions - i'm exceedingly flattered by the notice. Thank you to anyone commenting as well.

i wish i knew what to say via "Comments" on the submissions of others but i always fall short on words to say why i like or dislike something...

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Thank you, lorencino, for picking up the slack.

 

[lorencino]

Thank you, lorencino, for picking up the slack.

You're very welcome and that is exactly what I intended doing. I'm making very sure that there is going to be no entry from whomever is in charge of that day before I post. I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but I saw a few poems I thought did not deserve to pass by unrecognized.

 

[lorencino]

Quoted from New Poetry Recommendations thread

There are several new poems today

I recommend Wall of sugar by peach77, a cute little poem characterizing over-eating as means of avoidance.
THis is my favorite for the day. . .

I think this poem is a lot more complex than dealing simply with over-eating though that plays an important role in what the poet constructs here. The second stanza begins:

Smiles
Giggles
And jokes

Which indicates the other prong produced by the psyche of the person described in the poem via a two prong description. The indulgence in comfort food and the wall of amiability combine to indicate an insecure person. The insecurity is not openly described but simply hinted at by this graphic description of the two symptoms. The reader is thus freed to ponder the nature of the person behind the symptoms. Please understand that no offence is meant, dear EroticOrogeny, but I fear that "cute" may not do this poem justice.

 

[Epmd607]

Quoted from New Poetry Recommendations thread

I think this poem is a lot more complex than dealing simply with over-eating though that plays an important role in what the poet constructs here. The second stanza begins:

Smiles
Giggles
And jokes

Which indicates the other prong produced by the psyche of the person described in the poem via a two prong description. The indulgence in comfort food and the wall of amiability combine to indicate an insecure person. The insecurity is not openly described but simply hinted at by this graphic description of the two symptoms. The reader is thus freed to ponder the nature of the person behind the symptoms. Please understand that no offence is meant, dear EroticOrogeny, but I fear that "cute" may not do this poem justice.

Peach77 has been hit and miss for me. I liked a couple of the first few poems they posted, but the sugar one and one or two others weren't as interesting. I agree with EO's label of a 'cute poem', like Savoy Truffle is a cute little song on White Album.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

You lot have obviously never been fat or hiding inside it from the giggles and the jokes

 

[swallowedscream]

Holy freakin moly! When did Neo pull down his page??

 

[hmmnmm]

Many thanks to the usual suspects.
It's all sort of a mish-mash of ideas I've had around for awhile plus a couple newer or re-remembered blinks and Ahs. It has an overall natural feel and I'm enjoying looking forward to new shapes and such. Again, appreciate it. Very much.

 

[lorencino]

What's happening with the poetry review thread

New Poetry Recommendation seems to have been abandoned. I really enjoyed that thread when I first came to Literotica and I learnt a lot from it. Now it seems to be of scant interest to the poets here. I have tried to fill the vacuum in the past few weeks, but am beginning to get a hangover from seeing too much of my personal and somewhat eccentric tastes reflected there. There are scores of people here who are far more capable than I am and I can't help wondering if, perhaps, Literotica has burnt itself out as a serious poetry venue.

Makes me sad.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

New Poetry Recommendation seems to have been abandoned. I really enjoyed that thread when I first came to Literotica and I learnt a lot from it. Now it seems to be of scant interest to the poets here. I have tried to fill the vacuum in the past few weeks, but am beginning to get a hangover from seeing too much of my personal and somewhat eccentric tastes reflected there. There are scores of people here who are far more capable than I am and I can't help wondering if, perhaps, Literotica has burnt itself out as a serious poetry venue.

Makes me sad.

Hell I hope not and I applaud you for making the effort I've never volunteered because I would be crap at it. It's not of scant interest to me and I am sure it's not to the others that submit their work so please don't desert now you are appreciated believe you me

 

[lorencino]

Hell I hope not and I applaud you for making the effort I've never volunteered because I would be crap at it. It's not of scant interest to me and I am sure it's not to the others that submit their work so please don't desert now you are appreciated believe you me

You are too kind.

 

[lorencino]

Claudette's 'Meeting Buddha at the Clinic'

I agree with the hang-up over that first line, feeling it requires a small tweak to smooth the trip. I'm wondering if her wording was completely intentional, though, to create that same trip for the reader to stumble over, like shock at bad news, and how it makes the narrator become totally self-aware; of course, this might be more about the embarrassment of an exam and the attempt to mentally remove themself from the situation, or, with the further references to K, some crisis situation, life and death. Whatever the medical connotaions, I still feel it could work better if phrased perhaps using speech-marks (something I'm not a huge fan of in poetry to be honest), and more along these lines:

I just need to breathe said me to myself
Just breathe like the Buddha and be.

becomes

"just breathe" said I to me
just breathe like the Buddha and be.

The Kerouac reference with its specific Buddha connotations is more than a simple name-drop here, and 'safe in heaven dead' springs to mind, lending this line further dimension.


I did enjoy this piece. Bigger on the inside than the out.

and

Woodlander Sacrifice - by Under Your Spell

I've read a fair bit of this talented lady's work, and was looking forward to this unreservedly. I'm sorry to say I found it disappointing as a poem. For me, it quite simply fits into prose format. While it was concise, and visual, I am really sad to say it fell short of my estimations of her talent as formed by reading her other material.

While these remarks are a most valuable contribution to the critcal evaluation of poetry that appears here, this thread has been the conventional place to post these so that the Recommendations do not become obscurred by discussion posts. True, this information is not clearly posted, and newcomers have no way of knowing this.

And now that the review thread has been renamed to the recommendations thread, it becomes even less likely that people will realize what this thread is used for.

 

[lorencino]

Claudette's 'Meeting Buddha at the Clinic'

snip

"just breathe" said I to me
just breathe like the Buddha and be.

This is a most excellent solution which preserves the ability to make the reader self-aware in the sense that chipbuddy speaks of in his first paragraph:

Claudette's 'Meeting Buddha at the Clinic'

. . . I'm wondering if her wording was completely intentional, though, to create that same trip for the reader to stumble over, like shock at bad news, and how it makes the narrator become totally self-aware; of course, this might be more about the embarrassment of an exam and the attempt to mentally remove themself from the situation, or, with the further references to K, some crisis situation, life and death. . . .

I was going to go with something that perhaps departs too much from what the poet is intending:

Just breath I told myself.
Just breathe like the Buddha and be.

 

[butters]

and



While these remarks are a most valuable contribution to the critical evaluation of poetry that appears here, this thread has been the conventional place to post these so that the Recommendations do not become obscured by discussion posts. True, this information is not clearly posted, and newcomers have no way of knowing this.

And now that the review thread has been renamed to the recommendations thread, it becomes even less likely that people will realize what this thread is used for.

Ah, thanks for putting this where it's most likely meant to be, lorencino.

and that's chipbutty as in 'she'

 

[lorencino]

Ah, thanks for putting this where it's most likely mean to be, lorencino.

and that's chipbutty as in 'she'

Abject apologies
caught up in your thoughts
I failed to see you

:caning: self-flagelating to deaden the pain of mortified embarrassment