"To keep the review thread clean..."

[theognis]

Thank you to the anonymous person who sent this:

This message contains feedback for: theognis
About the submission: the meaning of its
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous

Title:

How?

Comments:

Please tell me how three little letters can have so many different meanings? No
wonder I always need prodding when it comes to my grammar! You get an A and step
to the head of the class!

And thank you to everyone who has commented and/or voted on any of my poems. It is very much appreciated.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

OK, in that respect, I'll live with it. Only there. I really don't want anyone trying some of the "stupid" stunts, that I try.
"Failure Analysis" i.e. Don't write in Abstractions, so I do.
Next up a poem with nothing but Gerunds.
"Geralding Something"

wonder what the male equivalent of 'gerund whore' is

 

[vrosej10]

God, You are asking for it. Here, check out http://www.literotica.com/p/apocalypso
Mel Gibson, with his boots on.

Pretty funny stuff. Nice and psychodelic.

 

[theognis]

Angeline,

I replied to your comment on my Carolina poem with my own comment, and also with another version of the poem, but then thought I should have done so here, where you're more likely to see it. So I will. This was the original version:

The first time he heard her voice
A thought came to him
Something like warm molasses
Being poured over skin

I should have taken more time with that poem. There were two ideas I wanted to express. One was about the warmth and sexiness of the voice itself, and the other was about the effect of the voice on the listener.

I need to work on a way to combine everything better.

 

[Angeline]

Angeline,

I replied to your comment on my Carolina poem with my own comment, and also with another version of the poem, but then thought I should have done so here, where you're more likely to see it. So I will. This was the original version:

The first time he heard her voice
A thought came to him
Something like warm molasses
Being poured over skin

I should have taken more time with that poem. There were two ideas I wanted to express. One was about the warmth and sexiness of the voice itself, and the other was about the effect of the voice on the listener.

I need to work on a way to combine everything better.

Thanks for putting it here.

I think you are halfway there in the poem as it was posted today. To me, what needs to come out is what you (the narrator) think. As soon as words like think or thought or felt and such come in you're moving away from letting the images tell the story to you telling it. And it becomes less poem, more information. This btw is not a personal critique: we all struggle with it imo. I know I do. But the more I recognize when I'm doing it in my own writing and change it, the better my poems come out.

 

[theognis]

twelveoone,

Thanks for the five,
despite thinking of flies.

 

[theognis]

Angeline,

I'm glad you recognized my poem as a koan. I think Koba did also. I thought I'd tell both of you I googled the text after I wrote it, to see if I was plagiarizing something I had read somewhere. It seemed to me like something somebody had probably already written, but I couldn't find anything like it, so I posted it here.

I think the wikipedia definition of koan is cool, by the way:

A kōan (pronounced /ˈkoʊ.ɑːn/; Chinese: 公案; pinyin: gōng'àn; Korean: gong'an; Vietnamese: công án) is a fundamental part of the history and lore of Zen Buddhism. It consists of a story, dialogue, question, or statement, the meaning of which cannot be understood by rational thinking but may be accessible through intuition.

 

[Angeline]

Angeline,

I'm glad you recognized my poem as a koan. I think Koba did also. I thought I'd tell both of you I googled the text after I wrote it, to see if I was plagiarizing something I had read somewhere. It seemed to me like something somebody had probably already written, but I couldn't find anything like it, so I posted it here.

I think the wikipedia definition of koan is cool, by the way:

A kōan (pronounced /ˈkoʊ.ɑːn/; Chinese: 公案; pinyin: gōng'àn; Korean: gong'an; Vietnamese: công án) is a fundamental part of the history and lore of Zen Buddhism. It consists of a story, dialogue, question, or statement, the meaning of which cannot be understood by rational thinking but may be accessible through intuition.

I have a good friend who has been studying and practicing Buddhism for decades. He taught me what I believe is the right way to meditate and always says I should try meditating on koans. But I keep it easy and just follow my breath!

I'm very impressed that you came up with that. It's sublime but otoh you could probably make some dough if you put it on a bumper sticker.

 

[theognis]

I have a good friend who has been studying and practicing Buddhism for decades. He taught me what I believe is the right way to meditate and always says I should try meditating on koans. But I keep it easy and just follow my breath!

I'm very impressed that you came up with that. It's sublime but otoh you could probably make some dough if you put it on a bumper sticker.

Well, thank you again, dear lady. I'm not sure where you find those roses you hand out, but I'd give you one if I knew.

 

[theognis]

Thank you to everyone who gave me a five for Carolina. Well, for anything, actually, but I do have my first Red 'H' for that particular poem, and I'm very pleased with it, to say the least. I hope I can hold onto it, but even if I don't, I had it for now. Many thanks, fine people.

New Poems
(Poems submitted in the last 7 days.)
Carolina -
Submitted by theognis (Erotic Poetry) 02/02/11 Hot

 

[theognis]

The "initial insult," even if posted to a public location is a private matter. You have brought a private irritation into a public arena on a thread that Poet Guy likes to read. He does not like to read about pissing contests between poets, however. Why he suggests you two go elsewhere, either private exchange (preferred) or a dedicated thread to insult each other.

But, Poet Guy does acknowledge that threads are free speech zones, so he can only request that you both go somewhere else to discuss your differences. He would rather not read about these differences, from either side, and hopes you take them elsewhere, but cannot do anything about it, nor would do anything about it other than request you go elsewhere, even had he administrator privileges.

You are both, as Poet Guy has previous stated, persons of interest to him. He does not want to place you both on ignore over some silly pissy thing over voting, of all things. Voting at Literotica is intrinsically flawed and more or less meaningless.

Perhaps Poet Guy should consider the purpose of this thread, and also consider that I have no wish to continue any of this. I'm simply waiting for a reply to my offer.

 

[PoetGuy]

Perhaps Poet Guy should consider the purpose of this thread, and also consider that I have no wish to continue any of this. I'm simply waiting for a reply to my offer.

Poet Guy is considering the "purpose of this thread," which per the OP's statement

Because we're human and it will always happen, here's a thread for all the thank-you notes and off-topic banter that occasionally clog up the New Poems Reviews and others.

Enjoy.

Unless theognis considers his calling out another poet "off-topic banter," Poet Guy suggests it might be better placed on another thread.

He is confident that theognis's adversary will be able to locate a thread dedicated to this discussion and reply to it.

However, Poet Guy now realizes he has been cluttering up this thread long enough and will retire for the evening.

God bless you both.

 

[theognis]

Poet Guy is considering the "purpose of this thread," which per the OP's statementUnless theognis considers his calling out another poet "off-topic banter," Poet Guy suggests it might be better placed on another thread.

He is confident that theognis's adversary will be able to locate a thread dedicated to this discussion and reply to it.

However, Poet Guy now realizes he has been cluttering up this thread long enough and will retire for the evening.

God bless you both.

And you.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Thank you to Vee for her mention and the kind folk that took the time to comment (which incidentally is all I check for )

 

[butters]

Thank you to Vee for her mention and the kind folk that took the time to comment (which incidentally is all I check for )

*embarrassed that i don't get to write enough comments, but holds up a hand to say "i try and do as many as possible, miss"*

 

[UnderYourSpell]

*embarrassed that i don't get to write enough comments, but holds up a hand to say "i try and do as many as possible, miss"*

You are to be commended on your honesty and will not get the cane this time *psst promise not to tell but I've been trying to catch up myself*

 

[Angeline]

Say friday thanks for your compliment on the poem in the passion thread. I didn't want to muck up that thread with non poem posts (cause smithpeter made me promise not to ). But I wanted to tell you that I got that book, The Art of the Poetic Line by James Unterberg and have been reading it this afternoon. I was trying in that poem to practice some of the stuff he is talking about: how the syntax and length and other tools work together to produce certain effects.

 

[fridayam]

Say friday thanks for your compliment on the poem in the passion thread. I didn't want to muck up that thread with non poem posts (cause smithpeter made me promise not to ). But I wanted to tell you that I got that book, The Art of the Poetic Line by James Unterberg and have been reading it this afternoon. I was trying in that poem to practice some of the stuff he is talking about: how the syntax and length and other tools work together to produce certain effects.

Angeline, you are welcome for a lovely poem--and I apologise for mucking up that forum

May I also thank Tess, Espie, Senna Jawa and tigerjen for their comments on various poems today

 

[Angeline]

Thanks to those who commented on my poem An Afternoon of Sometimes.

Esperanza, it's not a form! It's just something I made up after reading about how syntax and line length can work to make certain effects in a poem. This was in the Unterbach book, The Art of the Poetic Line. It's pretty dry, this book, but very interesting ideas.

It sounds like a form though, I know. And and the "whispering" I intentionally left open: it could be the leaves or sone other sound the woman or the reader hears.

 

[twelveoone]

Angeline,

I'm glad you recognized my poem as a koan. I think Koba did also. I thought I'd tell both of you I googled the text after I wrote it, to see if I was plagiarizing something I had read somewhere. It seemed to me like something somebody had probably already written, but I couldn't find anything like it, so I posted it here.

I think the wikipedia definition of koan is cool, by the way:

A kōan (pronounced /ˈkoʊ.ɑːn/; Chinese: 公案; pinyin: gōng'àn; Korean: gong'an; Vietnamese: công án) is a fundamental part of the history and lore of Zen Buddhism. It consists of a story, dialogue, question, or statement, the meaning of which cannot be understood by rational thinking but may be accessible through intuition.

It is nowhere near a koan. BTW.

 

[vrosej10]

Thanks fridayam for the recommends.

Thank to all those who have comment on First Week Anniversary Sex. This poem was a weirdy to write. It seemed to have a life of its own but the ending was more powerful in earlier drafts though it used the exact same words. I don't know what happen. Angeline got it spot on; I was going for a camera move visually with this one. Ange, you seem to get my work really well.

 

[theognis]

It is nowhere near a koan. BTW.

I didn't present it as a koan. It is for others to decide whether it is, or is not. Yours is one opinion. Others may disagree with you.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

Thanks to those who commented on my poem An Afternoon of Sometimes.

Esperanza, it's not a form! It's just something I made up after reading about how syntax and line length can work to make certain effects in a poem. This was in the Unterbach book, The Art of the Poetic Line. It's pretty dry, this book, but very interesting ideas.

It sounds like a form though, I know. And and the "whispering" I intentionally left open: it could be the leaves or sone other sound the woman or the reader hears.

Hmmm. maybe Angeline would let noobie borrow that form if noobie is really a nice little noobie. Noobie likes and thinks it is kewl.

As far as my stuff, thanks for the comments on Fate, Darwin's Victory, and A Date with a Monster (an overly written dude bashing lesbian sex romp!) 1201, Angeline, bulltir, fridayam and vrosej10 and Koba (various poems, various comments). I'm done with writing about the photograph--just needed to get it out of my system cuz Frankenstein must be written about now. We watched that old horror classic last week and so much stuff started flying from my fingers! And no, it twernt boogers neither, nor anything nasty like I know you pervs are thinking.

Teeheehee.

Thanks again Koba for exposing the photograph.

 

[Liar]

Just wanted tp pop in with a thanks for all the comments and the recommendations for Reap what you sow. it was a five minutes jot-down that came out of nowhere. Just goes to show I should think less when I write.

 

[Angeline]

Hmmm. maybe Angeline would let noobie borrow that form if noobie is really a nice little noobie. Noobie likes and thinks it is kewl.

<snip>

I'll try to explain cause I didn't derive it in any kind of pattern that I wrote down. What I was trying to do was make the structure convey the meaning as well as the meaning conveying the meaning. For example: there is a William Carlos Williams poem about an old woman eating plums, ok? (Not the plums that are in the icebox, this is a different poem.) Anywho she is taking them from a bag and eating them and in each successive strophe he uses the phrase "they taste so good to her," but he varies where he ends lines with it so you get:

It tastes so good to her.

It tastes so good
to her

It tastes
so good
to her

It tastes


Now that isn't exact, but the idea is that even though you are reading the same words, the change in order gives you the sensation of eating something: you put some in your mouth, then more, then it's gone, it's done. The construction conveys the meaning as much as the meaning conveys the meaning.

And with that I say thank you to you and 1201 and anyone else who comments on An Afternoon of Sometimes or Jive at Five or Blue Lester. 1201's comments are sending me scurrying afar on the web to look up poems and techniques!