"To keep the review thread clean..."

[vrosej10]

Just in case you ever wonder why I give you 5's.
You have to do that.
Every once and now, some amusing piece of trash pops in your head, so it's OK if they pop out every so often, and if you and the audience know that is all it is, that's fine.
But serious work, you have to get serious about. Even on less serious the amount of discards and revisions is usually about equal. Some things (for me), ten pages of discard for 14 lines.

Don't I know it! I have been working on a poem for three solid weeks now, umpteenth number of drafts, a total rewrite and rearrangement as well as vigourous chopping and I realise last night that it was actually two poems together and that I need to separate em and go again! Anyone who tells you that poetry is easy has not a clue. We are like ducks, gliding along serenely whilst paddling like maniacs under the water!

 

[fridayam]

Huge thankyous to 1201, Espie, Chip, UYS, Angeline, Vrose, Liar, MyZenTrail, emma_tate, Poet Guy, Liar and Ishtat for the comments left on various poems this week, and to 12 and Espie for the recommends. Its been an odd week so finding so many people commenting yesterday and today was immensely gratifying

 

[twelveoone]

Don't I know it! I have been working on a poem for three solid weeks now, umpteenth number of drafts, a total rewrite and rearrangement as well as vigourous chopping and I realise last night that it was actually two poems together and that I need to separate em and go again! Anyone who tells you that poetry is easy has not a clue. We are like ducks, gliding along serenely whilst paddling like maniacs under the water!

I once spent 6 weeks on a total abstraction haiku.

Now I have to go and write some prose poetry just to piss off the troops.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

Huge thankyous to 1201, Espie, Chip, UYS, Angeline, Vrose, Liar, MyZenTrail, emma_tate, Poet Guy, Liar and Ishtat for the comments left on various poems this week, and to 12 and Espie for the recommends. Its been an odd week so finding so many people commenting yesterday and today was immensely gratifying

That line was way cool--superfine cool--slithering through clay making with supersonic audacity to question potent deities on their creation ability? How brave art thee on a Friday, friday. Watch out, Thor be stompin his feet, crapping a few lightning bolts is he. Neptune is pissed and pissing hurricanes, and damn if Atlas aint at it again with a few rumblins in his tummy causing California to fall in the ocean. Better watch out, cuz I have it on good authority that Numero Uno, that being Zues man, got da squinting eye on Jolly Old. Now wouldn't THAT be peoticizin'.

I need at nap.

Did I say I liked it?

Teeheehee.

 

[fridayam]

That line was way cool--superfine cool--slithering through clay making with supersonic audacity to question potent deities on their creation ability? How brave art thee on a Friday, friday. Watch out, Thor be stompin his feet, crapping a few lightning bolts is he. Neptune is pissed and pissing hurricanes, and damn if Atlas aint at it again with a few rumblins in his tummy causing California to fall in the ocean. Better watch out, cuz I have it on good authority that Numero Uno, that being Zues man, got da squinting eye on Jolly Old. Now wouldn't THAT be peoticizin'.

I need at nap.

Did I say I liked it?

Teeheehee.

Blushing furiously! I'm glad you liked it, lovely Espie

 

[bogusagain]

I once spent 6 weeks on a total abstraction haiku.

try write a haiku
a language that doesn’t suit
poetic hara-kiri​

 

[Angeline]

try write a haiku
a language that doesn’t suit
poetic hara-kiri​

Have you seen my zen poem?

b


That's it. Does that make me a genius or an idiot?

 

[twelveoone]

try write a haiku
a language that doesn’t suit
poetic hara-kiri​

You know me Bog, breaking all the rules. Poem functioned as a "Mirror", thereforth the first true American Haiku.
You know the old cherry blossom thing:

This moment which is like no other
will never come again.

Well, my face broke out...

 

[bogusagain]

Have you seen my zen poem?

b


That's it. Does that make me a genius or an idiot?

b?

It depends if you can convince people it is worth contemplating I suppose.

I've been to an exhibition tonight where people were literally contemplating blank canvases and discussing them as though a deep and profound statement had been made. Maybe a deep and meaningful statement had been made but I suspect it was the audience themselves that provided the deep and profound statement. Personally, I stayed for the good quality wine and quality canapes, as well as some desirable company, though unfortunately, I still came home alone.

 

[bogusagain]

You know me Bog, breaking all the rules. Poem functioned as a "Mirror", thereforth the first true American Haiku.
You know the old cherry blossom thing:

This moment which is like no other
will never come again.

Well, my face broke out...

Life being ephemeral, momentary, the fleeting pleasures of the floating world, unable to be grasped and held onto. Reminds me of a Japanese friend who I couldn't hold onto. Sends me a sweet hand written letter nowandagain just to torture me. At least she doesn't suggest a suicide pact.

 

[butters]

Have you seen my zen poem?

b


That's it. Does that make me a genius or an idiot?

let me tell you what i think about this, Angelinadreamer

it's a breathing out - a counseling to just 'b/be', overlaid with the other interpretation of having arrived at one's destination. this is it. from a to b. this is b.




as a zen poem, it has arrived and i am breathing, remembering to be. oooh, i am my own arrival! lmao

 

[twelveoone]

Life being ephemeral, momentary, the fleeting pleasures of the floating world, unable to be grasped and held onto. Reminds me of a Japanese friend who I couldn't hold onto. Sends me a sweet hand written letter nowandagain just to torture me. At least she doesn't suggest a suicide pact.

Seppuku
call kaishaku
if you're serious
How come you are travelin around in these former Axis countries and you miss Italy

Yea, though I walked though the streets of Venice
I shall have no fear...

 

[butters]

b?

It depends if you can convince people it is worth contemplating I suppose.

I've been to an exhibition tonight where people were literally contemplating blank canvases and discussing them as though a deep and profound statement had been made. Maybe a deep and meaningful statement had been made but I suspect it was the audience themselves that provided the deep and profound statement. Personally, I stayed for the good quality wine and quality canapes, as well as some desirable company, though unfortunately, I still came home alone.

there's always something to be found worth contemplating in life creating art this way. reminds me of the endless mirror reflections reaching back/forwards - the artist observing himself observing himself observing himself...

makes me wonder if that was the artist's angle, though, or if they were just out to see how gullible a 'we know art when we see it' crowd could be...

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

I want to thank all the fine poets who were smart enough to comment on The Apple Doesn't . . . . The genius's are: Maria2394 (why 2394?), v--blooming--rosej10, UnderMySpell--oopsie, I mean UnderYourSpell, Angeyoumakemehotline , the person who writes as ThirdPersonPoetGuy, and last, Batman's frenemy, twelveoone.

Call me a lover of pain (if you only knew), but the criticism of my perfect poem makes me want to make it perfecter--I appreciate the serious consideration and thoughts very muchly, yes I do. That poem is going to be threaded and edited, and I hope you comment as I try to improve the perfectitude. The poem means much to odd me.

To the banger--banging does not bother me much anymore so all I say is you have the perfect right to bang to your hearts content. But as a human trying to find a voice, I want to know the reason for your non-enjoyment of my perfect poem. That is how I improve (Do it anonymously via pm--i don't retaliate--that is chickenpoopoo).

Damn banger, MistressLynn did some work with me so I know abuse, and that does not even account for the physical torture I endure from my partner when I don't do my chores during my week (just because Mrs. Wife-of-espie earns does not mean I am her slave)!

Sheet, she's here and I have not scrubbed the toilet--toodles.

Teeheehee

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

I forgot to tell 1201 that Jesus listens to Bolero while smoking weed with Mary Magdalene--I just know these things--JC and I privatemessage frequently along lightning highways.

 

[twelveoone]

. The genius's are: Maria2394 (why 2394?),

because 1201 was taken, it's a math thing 2394 is the next number in the sequence
secret society shit,
if you want you can have 4200

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

because 1201 was taken, it's a math thing 2394 is the next number in the sequence
secret society shit,
if you want you can have 4200

Hmmmm, does espie6969 fall in the sequence of secretude???

 

[twelveoone]

Hmmmm, does espie6969 fall in the sequence of secretude???

that is so cliche
but you can have for a $1

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

that is so cliche
but you can have for a $1

K, this is the last of it afore chippy makes me go home. I ain't that smartical so quit pickin on the queers! Brat...

ps: dollar is in the mail

 

[twelveoone]

I forgot to tell 1201 that Jesus listens to Bolero while smoking weed with Mary Magdalene--I just know these things--JC and I privatemessage frequently along lightning highways.

He is a cool guy, I saw him kick Jerry Falwell's ass, Jerry kept mouthing off, Jes just said Go to hell Poof
He looks like Mel Gibson back in his Road Warrior days

 

[vrosej10]

Thanks guys for the comment on The Failing of One Night Standing.Twelve, if you can use it creatively, snag that first line and write away. It came to me whilst watching New Moon, shiny vampires and all. It was meant to represent the men as literal false dawns.

 

[twelveoone]

Thanks guys for the comment on The Failing of One Night Standing.Twelve, if you can use it creatively, snag that first line and write away. It came to me whilst watching New Moon, shiny vampires and all. It was meant to represent the men as literal false dawns.

I was gonna use for one of my many aliens come down 'n' fix Clem's teeth in exchange for moonshine poems.

No reflection on your poem, it worked really well, the first line did have a alien feel to it. When I gave you the 100 did it have one of these ! next to it. It should have.

 

[Angeline]

I was gonna use for one of my many aliens come down 'n' fix Clem's teeth in exchange for moonshine poems.

No reflection on your poem, it worked really well, the first line did have a alien feel to it. When I gave you the 100 did it have one of these ! next to it. It should have.

You come down this a way with that poem. Clem's my neighbor now.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Thank you to MyZenTrail, theognis, maria, Ange, Epie, ishtat, 1201, YUS, paasha and vrose for comments left for Forefathers.

Thank you, too, to theo, 1201 (even tho' he didn't like it), Ange, tigerjen (Survivor next week!), maria and Espie for such kind words left on hot n' sour.

I'm just blown away by the involvement, poetry and comments, by everyone, it's great.

 

[theognis]

Thank you

Thanks to PepperPace, twelveoone, Tristesse2, Angeline, tigerjen, and raconteuse for your comments and votes on 'chocolate petals.' They were very much appreciated, along with any anonymous fives that got thrown my way. All encouragement accepted gladly.

I realize I have a long way to go. This is new for me.