"To keep the review thread clean..."

[champagne1982]

!!! what a beautiful metaphor is how this comes to me, Champagne and the word choices are stunning, "rich lodes" excellent, I am a roc k hound since I was a tiny child and the poem is so appealing to me on so many levels.

Ditto.

Except the rock hound part. The rocks in Trenton were mostly in people's heads.

Aww, you caught me with my metaphor down.
Thank you both, Maria and Angeline. Your compliments are the motherlode of the forum.

 

[annaswirls]

oops~

 

[Maria2394]

Sal-
your poetry just keeps getting better all the time. This is so touching, so good. I feel the same way about my kitties. They scratch and I throw them off the bed and then they hop back up, trying to be so quiet, I pretend i dont know they are there and then they scratch no more, so they wont wakeme. I love them damned cats, Lord help me.

 

[Guest]

thank you

 

[champagne1982]

<snip> It was my birthday yesterday and I'm suffering one hell of a hangover.

which would make me 2 days late with my happy birthday wishes. I can still hope you have a wonderful year.

 

[flyguy69]

LOL! What a way to start your workday!

Stuffy, stuffy in an elevator
stank air, cacophony of colognes
nut to butt
noisy, fidgeting

Oh hell! No room to turn
don't panic

Do you really expect me to drop
my panties just like that?

Everyone stops

Cellphone eavesdrop
eyes drop lower
Hipster jeans, a peek of pink g-string
stuck in a hint of a perfect ass

Yes, yes please do
thank you for asking
it's a enough to keep me smiling to my floor

 

[Guest]

LOL! What a way to start your workday!

Weee! I know. haha

 

[bluerains]

A nice array of work today!!!

Am a bit off color today if someone wants to jump in til I return this evening ..feel free...
later/blue

 

[bluerains]

You are so awesome RM..

thank you so much for the help...I started to read this morning and was unable ..and it would have been unfair to the poets...I total agree with your choices...MET ...I still have to go back and read your new series...I will ..maybe Friday more time...thanks again..for the help Rainman... blue

 

[Tathagata]

do it ever get easy, do it
ever get right? do it never come
home on saturday night?

shaken
you leave me shaken. help
mercy for what you
taken, shaken is all i be.

do it ever get better, do it
ever hurt less? do it never again
cause less a mess?

do nobody know, do nobody care
that i was shaken
shaken
said shaken
down your back stair?

 

[Sara Crewe]

Porch Swing by Sara Crewe is one of my favorite reads of the day. I like the texture of the imagery in her poem. See it for yourself; agree or disagree.

Thanks, neonurotic. Thanks as well to everyone who commented or sent feedback.

 

[TheRainMan]

Thanks, neonurotic. Thanks as well to everyone who commented or sent feedback.

You got it on the right thread this time.

Three mistakes in a row would have been a bit worrisome.

 

[Sara Crewe]

You got it on the right thread this time.

Three mistakes in a row would have been a bit worrisome.

You know where you can stick that particular rose, dontcha ?

 

[TheRainMan]

You know where you can stick that particular rose, dontcha ?

LOL.

How many guesses do I get?

 

[Sara Crewe]

LOL.

How many guesses do I get?

You're a smart man...so I'll give you...let me see...ten guesses.

 

[TheRainMan]

You're a smart man...so I'll give you...let me see...ten guesses.

Jesus, you're mighty fiesty for a newbie.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Jesus, you're mighty fiesty for a newbie.

You're a bad influence.

Whenever I see the word newbie, I think of furbies and it brings weird pictures into my head.

http://www.hasbro.com/furby/

 

[flyguy69]

You're a bad influence.

Whenever I see the word newbie, I think of furbies and it brings weird pictures into my head.

http://www.hasbro.com/furby/

Wee oo-koo nek-nek, wah!

(welcome to the forum, Sara!)

 

[Sara Crewe]

Wee oo-koo nek-nek, wah!

(welcome to the forum, Sara!)

Good thing you translated 'cause I was about to slap you in the face.


(Thank you )

 

[twelveoone]

Belated Thanks

Oh, My, Flyguy and Rainman mentions - Thank you both
Some notes:Swiss Army Scythe I thought was fantastic too; last minute edit, after submission, I checked, some one got there before I did.
Here . Oh well there goes the trademark.

Rainman & Maria - you're right an "n", Maria, the lipless grin is an impossibilty, had to be followed by the eyeless wink - announces that comic logic is taking over & if you do something "wrong" do it twice, let them know it was deliberate.
Tess, I don't know.
Surprised no one caught the Kipling rip and twist.
"By the laughing gods that splayed me,"
Thank you WSO, BB, Tess, Rainman, Fly, and Maria, your advice is always well considered. & glad you liked my groundhog day poem.

 

[wildsweetone]

...

wildsweetone's a shadow (Haiku) is a pretty little haiku. I'd add a quote here, but it would be only one word because the poem is so tiny.
...

chicken. single words can be very meaningful you know.

thank you neonurotic for the mention of a shadow (Haiku) and thank you to LeBroz and MET for your comments.

 

[annaswirls]

Thanks Neo for doing the reviews and for mentioning my poem.

I cannot believe that CVS bought the biograph in 1996 and I did not even know. I am so sad and so out of date it is sad!

My apologies for not leaving anyn comments, my machine is sstill 5% functional and I do not even have a word processor and that is why I am writing everything here, it is like the YMCA for homeless files!

 

[Decayed Angel]

thank you

Flyguy, Neon, Maria and Tzara for the recent mentions of my poems, especially those of the Key West series. Alas, I've left the isle and am now getting read to head north... To the Crystal City just south of the Pentagon.

from warm and 75 to cold and 28...


m.

 

[Maria2394]

I miss a sister
whom I met a thousand times
in the bathroom, in the bottom bunk,
on the next bike, the other side
of the dodgeball ring, sitting
across the dinner table, waiting
under the arch in the old school
where GIRLS was carved in stone
and the hopscotch squares
were fading in chipped white
on the asphalt.

I miss a sister who walked with me
past the iron fence and the parking lot,
bought Beatle cards with me at Chickie's,
gave me the other half of an orange popsicle,
taught me how to make Junebug lanterns
in mason jars, buried stones and pennies
with me under the lilac bushes, smacked
Flipper right into the playground dirt
when he called me a dirty Jew.

There's no one left who knows her
but me. There's nothing left
but a bronze plaque with a name
and dates in a small plot of green
called Hebrew Gardens.

I say Aunt and my children
look at me as if I had two heads.
Their aunts live down the road
in houses. They bring pizza
and birthday presents, know
what IPODS and cable tv are.
Their aunts speak, drive new cars,
have warm flesh on their bones.

No one wants to look at the night
sky and pretend she's there, dream
that a distant winking star
holds some reassurance
of eternity. I don't even think

you can ice skate on the Delaware
anymore and the banks we searched
for arrowheads are littered now
with crushed Burger King bags
empty beer bottles, used rubbers.

Spring still brings Queen Anne's Lace
and butterflies look the same, may be
timeless enough to remember
two girls in mismatched shorts
and polo shirts with dime-store nets
searching for minnows, but I doubt

they could lead me to her and even
if they could I'm so much older
than her now I doubt
she'd even recognize me.

I think she would remember you in the memories you shared with us here today. The kindness in your soul--- age is relative as are sisters, they dont forget ...

 

[Angeline]

I think she would remember you in the memories you shared with us here today. The kindness in your soul--- age is relative as are sisters, they dont forget ...

Thanks sweetie. The hardest part is that my kids will never know her. They've seen photos and heard stories, but it's not real for them. That makes me sad, especially when I see her in their gestures and actions, but yknow the hardest things in life have the best potential for poetry. That's the trade-off, not one I'd have chosen but true nonetheless.