"To keep the review thread clean..."

[bogusbrig]

When I am active on this board then each of my poems mentioned here (especially when praised) gets shot down fast. Ater "achilles" got its first 5 (perhaps from you, as the comment seems to indicate) there was an immediate 1 (for an average 3). Some guys here are pathetic .

If you are refering to me, I have never commented or voted on one of your poems. In fact it was your own concrete opinions on what is good and bad in a poem that led to to read your poems and while your poems are good, they are not as good as the opnion you have of yourself.

As for my comment that 'morphed' made me think of an animation and of which I felt jarred with the classical subject. It is how I genuinely felt about your poem and had nothing to do with how I feel about you or your snobbery. Though it was your snobbery that led me to comment.

 

[twelveoone]

Bog, I think he was refering to generic. He's refering to long before you got here. The piss pants type, the hiders.

 

[bogusbrig]

Bog, I think he was refering to generic. He's refering to long before you got here. The piss pants type, the hiders.

Yep. I'm letting myself down here. I should rise above it but you know how I feel about the guardians of culture. Culture is shifting sands and means different things to different people. There is nothing wrong with opinion even strong opinion but an opinion is just that and not fact.

It's late enough to have a drink here and I can do with one and stop being so petty.

 

[TheRainMan]

When I am active on this board then each of my poems mentioned here (especially when praised) gets shot down fast. Ater "achilles" got its first 5 (perhaps from you, as the comment seems to indicate) there was an immediate 1 (for an average 3). Some guys here are pathetic .

In this you are not lonely.

The pathetic dwell everywhere. Lit has no patent on them.

Why not just turn off the voting mechanism? I understand a novice keeping it on, the self-stroking it may provide, but for someone with your knowledge and skill, what use does it serve other than distraction and minor aggravation?

 

[twelveoone]

Aye, mi brother

 

[twelveoone]

In this you are not lonely.

The pathetic dwell everywhere. Lit has no patent on them.

Why not just turn off the voting mechanism? I understand a novice keeping it on, the self-stroking it may provide, but for someone with your knowledge and skill, what use does it serve other than distraction and minor aggravation?

Quick, recommend some good stuff, Rainman. He may have even gotten it because I recommended it ~who knows.

 

[bogusbrig]

Hmm This is a little embarrassing. My poem Lost Youth was posted by mistake, I've been struggling with it for months and can't resolve the inherent problems in it. I ment to post a different poem but it's up now so I might as well leave it there for awhile.

Thanks for the comment 1201, you are right, the weaknesses are all to obvious.

 

[twelveoone]

Hmm This is a little embarrassing. My poem Lost Youth was posted by mistake, I've been struggling with it for months and can't resolve the inherent problems in it. I ment to post a different poem but it's up now so I might as well leave it there for awhile.

Thanks for the comment 1201, you are right, the weaknesses are all to obvious.

You may get better comments than mine, what I mean by better - more fine tuning. Some people are kicking ass over there now. I think it's a keeper, start by throwing things out, you have a lot happening, maybe too much.

 

[bogusbrig]

You may get better comments than mine, what I mean by better - more fine tuning. Some people are kicking ass over there now. I think it's a keeper, start by throwing things out, you have a lot happening, maybe too much.

Better comments don't improve the poem though I understand you really mean more helpful comments. I find the poem a little embarrassing but instant removal is out of the question so I'll just have to grin and bear it and make sure I give my poems titles that aren't so similar in future.

 

[Guest]

Hmm This is a little embarrassing. My poem Lost Youth was posted by mistake, I've been struggling with it for months and can't resolve the inherent problems in it. I ment to post a different poem but it's up now so I might as well leave it there for awhile.

Thanks for the comment 1201, you are right, the weaknesses are all to obvious.

bb, why not go turn all the voting off so you don't have to worry about this? It was a mistake that you posted it, so give yourself a little more time to work on it, then add it when you feel it's ready.

 

[Guest]

Thank you for the beautiful introduction, Saldne. I am very open to constructive feedback of any kind. I do not consider myself an excellent poet, merely someone who enjoys expressing emotions when it becomes too much to keep inside. Writing comes naturally, but writing with skill and craft is not so easy. (Also I keep in mind that English is not my first language)

I would love to hear more from the experienced poets around. I am new to Lit, and very new to the boards. Perhaps I need a tour-guide!

Thank you to all for your very welcome comments. I take all feedback seriously, and will ask for clarification where I need more detail.

U.R.

You're welcome!

I'm so glad you stopped by, Una! Stick around. I have really enjoyed your poetry.

 

[annaswirls]

I tried to read bottom up as suggested but I almost passed out from the bloodflow to my head





thanks 1201 and Rain for your recommendation of my pink gown

(i never wear) pink

I think it's everyone and anyone's job on Sunday. Isn't Sunday open review day?

I'm on the run, but I read all the poems today. Here are the ones that caught my eye (in varying degrees of quality), that I plan on rereading for the purpose of comment, if I have the time later. . . a pretty good day of poetry, I think.

In reverse order of appearance ( it's a good idea to read bottom up, so as not to miss anything, and also to give the poems that are at the river bottom as much chance to see some light as the ones near the surface. . . YDD taught me that. )


Lost Youth by bogusbrig

achilles by Senna Jawa

i lie awake by DeepAsleep

Sleepy Wonder by Saldne

Peer to Peer by lexitopoi

Deliberate Scars by Exitable Boy

Vintage by Sara Crewe

pink gown by annaswirls

The Stones of Carnac by f-cynyr

She Dreams in the Lavender Night by eagleyez

wet cement by dorksicle

 

[Sara Crewe]

Vintage by Sara Crewe

Thanks, TRM and to everyone else who commented. I am sorry about the typo.

 

[flyguy69]

When I am active on this board then each of my poems mentioned here (especially when praised) gets shot down fast. Ater "achilles" got its first 5 (perhaps from you, as the comment seems to indicate) there was an immediate 1 (for an average 3). Some guys here are pathetic .

And why would you assume only a classless lout could dislike that poem?

I loved "cities within city," liked this one well enough to mark it 75, and despised "silver." If that gall qualifies me as "classless," so be it. But unless you are going to solicit votes only from folks that like your work you've got to expect some from people that don't.

 

[Guest]

You two ladies rock my socks!

 

[DeepAsleep]

Thanks for the mention, A, and thankes Eve and Tess for the comments.

~Ross

 

[Guest]

***************

 

[annaswirls]

Thank you 1201 and TRM for recommending pink gown. AND thank you to everyone who left the wonderfully thoughtful comments and for noticing the places that this poem could use work. I have made changes and the edit is up on the Construction Thread.

 

[bluerains]

ty Tess

a true heart of blue...U R...sweet as a honeysuckle popcycle...

 

[Decayed Angel]

thank you maria

for mentioning my oyster searching adventure in old town key west. I head home in about a week, but hopefully I'll be able to bring in some more images...

m.

 

[Maria2394]

you are very welcome, Decayed Angel

~~~~

Neonurotic``

Thank you for mentioning my piece today. and thank you, Wicked Eve for your note. I was not aware I had the PC feature off. I submitted it late 2 nights ago, right after I wrote it on the passion thread, and tried to revise it, was sort of disgusted with myself and wasnt sure it was right, I had forgotten that after you submit, you are screwed as you cannot open and revise. I guess Laurel got tired of all that submit/revise/resub/re-revise...etc. I was totally guilty of that!!

anyway, thanks for reading, y'all. Means a lot to me

xoxox

maria

 

[Liar]

Liar is a smart man when Sara chases him to the sofa instead of the other way around in, I chased Sara. Although I did find the parenthesis to be a bit distracting (maybe italics?), I liked this flash, topsy-turvy, jumbled thoughts that give the impression of playing chase.

Why thank you, o neo.

And thanks to Eve for the comment. That's some vote of confidence. Please just don't read straight off the screen, ok?

 

[WickedEve]

Why thank you, o neo.

And thanks to Eve for the comment. That's some vote of confidence. Please just don't read straight off the screen, ok?

Hey, I don't think I made it clear enough how much I love the poem. I know my 8-year-old will be fascinated with Sara.

 

[Sara Crewe]

I did it again. Someone slap me.

 

[Sara Crewe]

I loved Liar's poem too.

Sara Crewe gives back her rib and bites her apple in her, I Have a Confession. I generally liked this poem, the idea of throwing back the proverbial Adam's rib, but stumbled a little on the poem's line breaks. Check it out for yourselves if you agree or disagree.

Thanks, neonurotic. My thanks as well to, Jim, LeBroz and Tess for their comments.

Special thanks to Maria for re-visiting an earlier poem. It made me smile that you came back twice.



I'm leaving now, before I thank god and my parents too.