"To keep the review thread clean..."

[Maria2394]

I dreamt once I was a burro’s basket
cast over a coarse, lemon blanket stitched
with black alligators
that made me itchy. On market days
the burro and I and a little brown boy
with dirty fingernails would travel up
the mountain but most days
I lay in the sun, beside the blanket,
on the ground. The burro would nose
me now and again to see if I held
grains. I never did, but the burro
had a short memory.

I love this!!! hope you post it

 

[JCSTREET]

From JC - to all

I've been pleased to see a mention of my Stones poem, after my long absence. I guess I've bumped up against some love, loss and longing in the past year or so and my poetry has changed quite - so be it.

But, I'm really posting to find out what my current avatar is. I hope it's not a simulacrum of an erect penis - since I'd sure to be on the NSA's watchlist or something, were that the case.

I've met a lot of nice people in here but in former visits my main thrust was to impress the world with my brilliance. These days I'm a little more four-wheel drive and workboots - and maybe a tad less self-absorbed.

I have loved women in this group from afar (all in the best possible taste of course) and had a lot of fun back in those much darker days.

So Thanks!


Carl Edgar

aka <insert sobriquet or epithet of choice>

 

[annaswirls]

I cannot leave public comments as my computer is on strike and will not even let me see the secret code OR hear it! grrrr. let alone send a message that requires such code

 

[TheRainMan]

Much to learn from TheRainMan. Any aspiring poet should study his work. His poem Finding the Sound of Oak is an exceptional piece that I found to be the best of thirty-one poems I read today. Thank you

Thank you kindly, neo.

And those who have commented, or will, also. Please feel free to bludgeon anything that you find flawed or not up to par.

As 1201 says . . . ~ I'm here to learn ~ . . . we all should be.

 

[Maria2394]

I cannot leave public comments as my computer is on strike and will not even let me see the secret code OR hear it! grrrr. let alone send a message that requires such code

oh NO, anna!! thats exactly what happened to mine befor eit died. I am so sorry for you honey..hugs

 

[Maria2394]

I loved Liar's poem too.




Thanks, neonurotic. My thanks as well to, Jim, LeBroz and Tess for their comments.

Special thanks to Maria for re-visiting an earlier poem. It made me smile that you came back twice.



I'm leaving now, before I thank god and my parents too.

I came back more than twice!!!! love that poem, love love it!!!

 

[TheRainMan]

I did it again. Someone slap me.

It's safer not to be too free with requests like that around this joint.

 

[clutching_calliope]

Dare you

.....

 

[Tathagata]

I've been pleased to see a mention of my Stones poem, after my long absence. I guess I've bumped up against some love, loss and longing in the past year or so and my poetry has changed quite - so be it.

But, I'm really posting to find out what my current avatar is. I hope it's not a simulacrum of an erect penis - since I'd sure to be on the NSA's watchlist or something, were that the case.

I've met a lot of nice people in here but in former visits my main thrust was to impress the world with my brilliance. These days I'm a little more four-wheel drive and workboots - and maybe a tad less self-absorbed.

I have loved women in this group from afar (all in the best possible taste of course) and had a lot of fun back in those much darker days.

So Thanks!


Carl Edgar

aka <insert sobriquet or epithet of choice>

Good to see you and your work back

 

[Maria2394]

You first!!

My Dear Calliope, are you daring me to post this poem?? I am the woman who posted an ode to a moonpie!!

You betcha, I will post it today!!

 

[TheRainMan]

Jesus.

It's contagious . . .

You did this to me, Sara Crewe.

 

[clutching_calliope]

This is what I meant to say.

.....

 

[Tzara]

Tag, you're the poet.

Ahem! (Scuffle toes. Toes scuffle.) Uh, well.

My name is not Tag, you know.

(Flush.)

 

[Maria2394]

Thank you, Rybka

for the mention of Mexican Blanket

Maria has received some excellent and constructive feedback on this mostly very strong poem. Go read this one and see how to create strong images and emotional longings with simple words and structure.

~~~~~

I agree with your statement about the FB, it is great to have a forum like this where one can be offered constructive crit. I appreciate it all so much. So mant times someone here will see something I didnt, hear it differently, show me something new. I seemed to have stopped growing in some ways when my computer died and I had to be absent from here. I really missed this place

also, thanks to Tess, Eve, TheRainMan Lebroz, oh, I know i am missing someone, thans to everyone who read and/or commented.



maria

 

[Sara Crewe]

Jesus.

It's contagious . . .

You did this to me, Sara Crewe.

Jesus is not contagious. I have no idea what you are talking about.

 

[Maria2394]

I just realized...

That I wasnt even aware that my moonpie poem was mentioned yesterday by two people!! Sometimes I miss the new poems thread because I just go read most all of the poems if I have time.
so, thank you

Duckiesmut and Tzara for mentioning Why I cannot love you as soon as I come up with a better last line, I will post it on the thread, meanwhile, if anyone has a suggestion, feel free to post it as well, k?

Thanks to all who read it and thanks also to those who commented and sent email FB. I am very grateful to you all

 

[bogusbrig]

Thanks for the mention Duckie and Tzara and thank you to the people who commented on my poem Contraption. At the moment I seem to becoming a poetic Heath Robinson come Gadget Man. I can't understand why as I prefer to hire professionals to use wrenches and hammers.

 

[JCSTREET]

tanks

Good to see you and your work back

tanks

 

[Una Ryce]

thank you

Rybka for mentioning my new poems, here's a

Maria, i read your "Mexican blanket - voted and PC'd. Very good poem!

To everyone who has taken the time to read my poems/ vote/ comments etc, please know i do appreciate it very much. I consider all feedback seriously. I will be doing some serious editing/ redesigning soon!

Thanks again to all.
U.R.

 

[flyguy69]

Metamorphosis

tendon flexed fingers
over a sanded plateau of taunt skin
indentation of insistence
enhanced by an arched back
let loose the moment
and live forever here with me
each part of body becomes a new world
exploration of electric seconds
charged air crisp and turbulent
here, the current runs stronger
down the mountain of you
into my valley where every muscle
becomes strong banks to hold
the rush of you
further stronger
pulse of rapids over every rock and boulder
filling flooding through each crevasse
we meld
and become the sea together
tossing waves of lust
against unexplored shores
evaporate to the rain
seperating only to join again in violent storms
where we wash the canyons deeper still

Blink, Flyguy, blink!

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

Blink, Flyguy, blink!

I submitted it for closer examination.

 

[Maria2394]

Tath, Calli, Sara, fly---



hey you all, will you post your crow poems on my crow poem thread? Please? they are so very good, so inspiring, how you each see them differently and yet the same??



Four and Twenty Blackbirds

ps, if you dont want to, thats cool too, if you dont have time, tell me and I will pop them right over there, WITH your names, of course

xoxoxo

maria

 

[flyguy69]

It is hard to call mine a crow poem!

I'll work on one.

Tath, Calli, Sara, fly---



hey you all, will you post your crow poems on my crow poem thread? Please? they are so very good, so inspiring, how you each see them differently and yet the same??



Four and Twenty Blackbirds

ps, if you dont want to, thats cool too, if you dont have time, tell me and I will pop them right over there, WITH your names, of course

xoxoxo

maria

 

[Maria2394]

Crystalline jewels in shallow
walled valleys shimmering
as the quake warns of coming
upheaval. Intrepid prospector
wind through this vale, find
the treasure; mineral salts
coalesced into gems that lure
you into dangerous instability.

Terraine shook by passing
passion in your quest for rich
lodes. Trembling fingers
caress each bauble then brought
to those lips to taste and sample
the good of it. Mine this illusion
and sink your shaft into the rich
vein beneath the deception
and return to the world
a wealthy man.

!!! what a beautiful metaphor is how this comes to me, Champagne and the word choices are stunning, "rich lodes" excellent, I am a roc k hound since I was a tiny child and the poem is so appealing to me on so many levels.

 

[Angeline]

!!! what a beautiful metaphor is how this comes to me, Champagne and the word choices are stunning, "rich lodes" excellent, I am a roc k hound since I was a tiny child and the poem is so appealing to me on so many levels.

Ditto.

Except the rock hound part. The rocks in Trenton were mostly in people's heads.