Up Your Vocabulary with MG - A Daily Contribution

[Guest]

Phil,
You make me want to dress up and paint my vibrators. Wish I'd saved the ones that died (or did I kill them?)
----------

Maths,
OK, I keep up with all your posts, but I still protest whatever I generally protest with you.

small harumph, Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'm glad to see that Perdy's helping me spread the word on Harry Potter.



The Potterians Will Inherit The Earth

 

[MathGirl]

Originally posted by Svenskaflicka The Potterians Will Inherit The Earth

Dear Svenska and Perdita,
Brrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttt!
MG

pogue mahone Gaelic Kiss my arse, to be sure.

pogie n. US Where American plonkers (qv) go dressed in their plunkers (qv).

point Percy at the porcelain v. Train Terrence at the terracotta. See Percy.

poke v. What plonkers (qv) do to pogies (qv).

polish the lighthouse v. To masturbate in the bath.

polony party n. A social gathering of two or more consenting adults where games include hide the sausage, park the salami and split the kipper.

pong n. The smell of a poot (qv).

poo 1. (poooooo!!) exclam. A word spoken with fingers on nostrils to describe an unpleasant odour. 2. n. Shit.

poof See poofter.

poofter See poove.

poon n. Fanny; crumpet; toosh.

poo packer See marmite driller.

poop catchers n. Knickers; cack catchers.

poop chute n. Bumhole; arse.

poo pipe pirate n. Jolly rogerer; pirate of men’s pants (qv).

 

[Quasimodem]

The Potterians Will Inherit The Earth

Right!

And THE EARTH shall be known as POTTY-NIGHTSOIL!

 

[MathGirl]

Evening dirt

Originally posted by Quasimodem And THE EARTH shall be known as POTTY-NIGHTSOIL!

Dear Quaz,
And DurtGurl will be known as Evening DurtGurl.
MG

poot v. To sound one’s botty bugle, often after eating musical vegetables (qv).

pooter n. The bum bellows with which you poot (qv); the poot flute.

poot flute n. Trouser trumpet; singing ring; botty bugle; bumhole.

poove See puff.

poppycock n. Nonsense. orig. From Dutch pappekak meaning ‘soft shit’.

pop shot n. Scene in a pornographic movie in which a male actor is required to splash his population paste (qv) on camera, after being suitably prepared by the fluffer (qv). See also margold.
population paste n. Joy gloy; semen; spunk; Aphrodite’s evostick. Gentlemen's relish.

pork v. To shag.

pork prescription n. 1. Cock, to be swallowed twice a day before meals. 2. Doctor’s authorisation for a meat injection (qv).

pork sword n. Penis; bacon bazooka; lamb cannon etc.

porridge gun n. Tool for distributing population paste (qv) quickly and efficiently.

posh wank n. A mess free masturbatory manoeuvre undertaken whilst wearing an English overcoat (qv).

 

[Xelebes]

Sore sweat: when you've been masturbating waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much for one day, at the end you cannot secrete enough sperm to make it look white, but rather a little wet spot at the opening of the penis feeling similar to that of a good sweat, usually accompanied by tired, exacerbated pain in the groin.

Is this too... um... provocative?

 

[MathGirl]

Dear X,
Good term. If nobody comes up with a real show-stopper by midnight, you just might be looking at a gold star here.
MG

 

[Xelebes]

Dear X,
Good term. If nobody comes up with a real show-stopper by midnight, you just might be looking at a gold star here.
MG

Mmmm...

don't know what a show stopper is when it comes to this since I just started reading this.

How about another one. This I got from another forum about someone's pain in the legs when masturbating... again I can only relate to masturbation as I have not broken my virginity yet.

Dream Crook: When you masturbate with your legs straight or something and you orgasm and the leg muscles tense up, your legs hurt like a bitch to make walk like with a crook afterwards.

From the same forum:

Elroy's Love: Foolhardy love with a penchant for asking the most mundane questions, expecting serious responses.

for the references I am drawing: www.ocremix.org (The Sex-ed Thread)

 

[LorriLove]

Re: Evening dirt

Dear Quaz,
And DurtGurl will be known as Evening DurtGurl.
MG

poot v. To sound one’s botty bugle, often after eating musical vegetables (qv).

pooter n. The bum bellows with which you poot (qv); the poot flute.

poot flute n. Trouser trumpet; singing ring; botty bugle; bumhole.

poove See puff.

poppycock n. Nonsense. orig. From Dutch pappekak meaning ‘soft shit’.

pop shot n. Scene in a pornographic movie in which a male actor is required to splash his population paste (qv) on camera, after being suitably prepared by the fluffer (qv). See also margold.
population paste n. Joy gloy; semen; spunk; Aphrodite’s evostick. Gentlemen's relish.

pork v. To shag.

pork prescription n. 1. Cock, to be swallowed twice a day before meals. 2. Doctor’s authorisation for a meat injection (qv).

pork sword n. Penis; bacon bazooka; lamb cannon etc.

porridge gun n. Tool for distributing population paste (qv) quickly and efficiently.

posh wank n. A mess free masturbatory manoeuvre undertaken whilst wearing an English overcoat (qv).

don't forget poo chute mg, as in poke it up her poo chute. while we're on the p's like.

 

[LorriLove]

Re: Evening dirt

why does this stupid site do this

 

[LorriLove]

Re: Evening dirt

Dear Quaz,
And DurtGurl will be known as Evening DurtGurl.
MG

poot v. To sound one’s botty bugle, often after eating musical vegetables (qv).

pooter n. The bum bellows with which you poot (qv); the poot flute.

poot flute n. Trouser trumpet; singing ring; botty bugle; bumhole.

poove See puff.

poppycock n. Nonsense. orig. From Dutch pappekak meaning ‘soft shit’.

pop shot n. Scene in a pornographic movie in which a male actor is required to splash his population paste (qv) on camera, after being suitably prepared by the fluffer (qv). See also margold.
population paste n. Joy gloy; semen; spunk; Aphrodite’s evostick. Gentlemen's relish.

pork v. To shag.

pork prescription n. 1. Cock, to be swallowed twice a day before meals. 2. Doctor’s authorisation for a meat injection (qv).

pork sword n. Penis; bacon bazooka; lamb cannon etc.

porridge gun n. Tool for distributing population paste (qv) quickly and efficiently.

posh wank n. A mess free masturbatory manoeuvre undertaken whilst wearing an English overcoat (qv).

don't forget poo chute mg, as in poke it up her poo chute. while we're on the p's like.

 

[Quasimodem]

Up Your Vocabulary!

Your Glossary of Terms illustrates the usefulness of a complete mastery of such language. Only with a thorough acquaintanceship with this vocabulary, may one shed light upon other great literary works.

For example, one can't help but wonder how Robert Wagner's performance in "Prince Valiant" might have differed, had his character been equipped with a Singing Ring, rather than a Singing Sword.

For one thing, fewer noble knight's and highborn ladies of the Round Table would have pressed quite so near, as he battled with James Mason's Sir Brack at the climax of the film.

Perhaps you look askance at such whimsey, yet, with an unprejudiced vision, one can see the vestigial remnants of just such a previous version of that story, in a close reading of the final script.

How else does one explain James Mason's character being saddled with the name "Brack," other than through onomatopoeia?

 

[MathGirl]

don't know what a show stopper is when it comes to this since I just started reading this.

Dear X,
Only one person knows a show stopper. Moi. Your first contribution will become part of the lexicon. The other two? ................. throw them back.
MG
Dear LL, "Poo chute" is too obvious to need definition, I think. The site doesn't make multiple posts. I learned the hard way to click on "sumbit" only ONCE.
Dear Quaz,
Your comments have been taken under advisement.

 

[LorriLove]

Ha

Depends where you live mg honey, it could be someone's name in china

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Dear MG,

On a serious note for a moment if someone (Me) knows the ruff definition but not the word, how or what can one use to find the proper term? Refering to real words.

 

[MathGirl]

Dear MG, On a serious note for a moment if someone (Me) knows the ruff definition but not the word, how or what can one use to find the proper term? Refering to real words.

Dear A7,
That's easy. Ask Pure. He knows everything.
MG

pot brown v. Bury the bone on (qv) in kak canyon (qv).

pot pink v. Moor the skin boat (qv) in cod cove (qv). See also snookered behind the red, difficult brown etc.

potty-mouth n. US Someone who repeats words from this book in conversation.

pouch n. An ageing, saggy mott (qv) that hangs like a sporran.

pound the pork v. Of pinksmiths, to pummel a hot pork sword (qv) into shape. Also pound the pudding.

pox n. Venereal disease, specifically syphilis.

pratt n. Pranny; fuckwit; arsehole.

pre-cum n. Substance often referred to in the letters pages of jazz magazines but rarely mentioned elsewhere. See perseverance soup; dew on the lily.

premature pinch n. The snipping off of an unsmoked bum cigar (qv) as when disturbed in the act, by an important telephone call for example.

prick 1. n. A penis. 2. n. A twat; fuckwit; fool. 3. n. A life threatening finger injury often suffered by fairy tale princesses.

 

[A7inchPhildo]

OK, you wouldn't fuckwit me now? Not forgeting the Cleveland steamer thing ya know.

 

[MathGirl]

The Sabbath

privates n. Inoffensive uni-sex term for genitalia invented by the Women’s Institute in 1904. At the opposite end of the rudeness scale to fuckstick, bollocks and cunt.

psychedelic yodelling n. Vocal projection of your biscuits (qv) out your mouth. Toss cookies.

pud n. Penis. That which was always pulled by Ivor Biggun

pudendum n. Latin word for genitals, meaning literally ‘meat pie and two potatoes’.

pud-whapper n. US Wanker; obnoxious person.

puff 1. v. To exhale cigarette smoke. 2. p.n. Magic dragon that lived by the sea.

pull a pint on the piss pump v. To crank out the hand shandy (qv).

pull a train v. To take turns at stirring the porridge (qv); jelly roll; gang bang.

pull the turkey’s neck See throttle the turkey; a form of poultry strangling.

pull your pud v. Wank. See pud.

puma acronym Pants up my arse. See hungry arse.

pump v. To fart; poot; pass wind; shoot bunnies; drop a rose petal.

pump action mottgun n. Advanced rapid fire development of the mutton musket (qv).
MG

 

[MathGirl]

Vespers

purple headed womb broom See purple headed yoghurt warrior.

purple helmet 1. n. Pink Darth Vader’s headgear; bobbies helmet; German helmet; Roman helmet; bell end.

push gas v. To poot (qv).

putting from the rough v. Golfing equivalent of bowling from the Pavilion end (qv).

putz n. Yiddish Prick.

pyroflatulate v. To light one’s farts. See also afterburner; blue streak.

quack n. Short, sharp botty burp often followed by an apologetic “Oops!” See also step on a duck.

quandong n. Aus. she who wears armour plated knickers.

quaker, to bury a n. Stool. As in: “Ah, she just nipped upstairs to bury a quaker”.

quaz n. Ugly wanker; bell-end ringer. (abbr. Quasimodo).

 

[MathGirl]

quean n. Male homosexual. Original spelling of queen

queef n. US Vaginal fart; front botty burp. Also kweef.

queen See queer.

queer See quean.

quickie n. Hurried one (qv).

quim n. Refined word for the mapatasi (qv) such as a gentleman might use at a hay clarse cocktail party. From the Welsh word Cwm meaning ‘valley beneath the 13 amp fuse wire’.

quimby n. Middle person in a threesome. See also lucky Pierre.

quimle v. To eat hairy pie (qv). I was quimling her, he quimled me, etc.

quince n. Aus. Mincing quean.

quoit n. Ring; hoop; rusty sheriff’s badge; balloon knot; tea towel holder' brown starfish.

quumf v. To sit in waiting outside a public library in Blyth, for example, and sniff ladies bicycle seats as soon as possible after their owner has dismounted and gone inside. Also to snudge (qv).

 

[MathGirl]

rag week n. 1. Seven days during which students get pissed and behave like cunts in the name of charity. 2. Time of the month when the flags are out (qv). Also blob week. See also on the blob.

rainbow yawn n. Puke. See also technicolour yawn, pavement pizza.

raisin bag n. Nut sack (qv); John Wayne’s hairy saddle-bags.

R.A.F. Rough as fuck; ugly; unattractive.

rake the cage out v. To build a log cabin; give birth to a Richard (qv).

Ralph v. echoism To vomit. See also call Huey.

ram job n. Conventional heterosexual sex, as opposed to blow

job (qv) or hand job (qv). Also nob job.

ram shackled adj. To be engaged in the act of botting (qv).

randy n. Cowboy version of horny (qv).

raspberry rhym. slang Fart. From raspberry tart. As in “Did you just drop a raspberry?” “No. He who smelt it, dealt it”. “Ah! But he who denied it, supplied it”, etc.

rascal wrapper n. French letter; blob; rubber Johnny.

 

[MathGirl]

Razzle p.n. The definitive jazz magazine, in its own words ‘The magazine that makes your cock go hard’.

reach around n. In botting, pouring your partner a hand shandy (qv) whilst ram shackled.

rear admiral n. A sailor who prefers to navigate the Windward passage (qv).

rear gunner n. In aviation terms, a gunner who shoots one of his own side by firing his lamb cannon (qv) into their bomb bay (qv).

rectal retort n. Fart.

red ring n. Inflammation of the chocolate starfish as a result of being skittered (qv). See also Japanese flag.

red wings n. Dubious honour bestowed upon someone who eats haddock pastie (qv) during rag week (qv).

remould n. Rubber; single finger Marigold glove; blob.

retch v. To vomit, but with more noise and less puke.

reverse thrust n. The act of getting off at Edge Hill (qv). The interruptedus of your coitus.

rhythm magazine n. Jazz mag; scud book; porn pamphlet; one handed reading material.

rhythm stick n. Sixth gear stick; joy stick; copper stick; giggle stick; love truncheon.

Richard rhym. slang. Turd. From Richard the Third. e.g. “I’ve just given birth to a ten pound Richard”.

ride v. That which you do on a bike (qv).
MG

 

[Guest]

Maths, just in the neighborhood (again).

love truncheon - wonderful!

ta, Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

Maths, just in the neighborhood (again).

Dear Perdita,
Interesting how you just stumble in here from time to time. Not that you would ever dream of coming here on purpose. Always nice to have you visit the slum.
MG
ride the baloney pony v. US To wank.

ride the great white knuckler v. To play rhythm on your bone-a-phone (qv).

ride the porcelain bus v. To have diarrhoea. Not to be confused with drive the porcelain bus (qv).

ride the waves v. Shag an amply proportioned lady. See also moped.

rigid digit n. Erect penis; bone; bonk on.

rim n. Circumference of the anus; ring.

ring n. 1. Hole; jacksie; anus; brown eye; chocolate starfish.

ring bandit See Hershey highwayman.

ringburner n. A hot curry which results in ring sting (qv) the next day, and a Japanese flag (qv).

ring master n. 1. Master of ceremonies at a circus. 2. A botter (qv).

ring pirate See pirate of men’s pants.

ring sting n. Inflammation of the ring (qv) as a result of pissing

rusty water (qv), e.g. after visiting the Rupali restaurant in Newcastle and eating a plate of the World’s Hottest Curry, ‘magmaloo’.

 

[MathGirl]

ring the bell v. Pop the cork; detonate the fanny bomb (qv).

rinky dink n. Stink; that unpleasant odour created by a fyst (qv); Richard the third’s B.O.

rinse the lettuce v. To wash the beef curtains, in situ as it were. Followed by a shake of the lettuce (qv).

robbing the date locker v. Turd burgling.

rocket polisher n. Overenthusiastic cleaning of the meat seeking pissile (qv) leading to detonation on the launch pad.

rocket socket n. Vagina.

Rockfords rhym. slang Piles; arse grapes; Nobbies; Emmas; Chalfonts. From the TV series The Rockford Files.

rocks n. Those which you ‘get off ’ when having it off.

rod n. Spam sceptre.

rod walloper See jewel jiggler.

rodeo sex n. To call your girlfriend by an ex-girlfriend’s name whilst having sex ‘doggy style’, and then try to hold on for as long as possible. Also bronco sex.