where is D fiant?

[MathGirl]

Arrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh

Dear Shing and MM,

Thank you for your support. It isn't easy being locked in this mad woman's basement with all the torture implements. Thank God I can get to her computer and communicate with caring, supportive people like you.

Have you ever been flogged? Well, let me tell you, it can completely ruin your morning. The actual flogging was bad enough, but having vodka poured over the open wounds .... Well, that really made my eyes water. Cheap vodka, too. Adds insult to injury. At least she could have used Stoli.

As bad as being bolted to that wall by my ears is, I'm trying to look on the bright side. That's me, the eternal optimist.

I've been plagued by athlete's foot for years, and that blowtorch to the feet cleared it right up.

Dandruff? Not any more. The head shaving followed by the hot tar eliminated it in one treatment. I sure wish the iron hat with the tightening device had stuck to that tar. Then she wouldn't have had to nail it on. Oh, well, I guess I shouldn't complain.

Oh, no! Here she comes. Gotta get back onto the wall. She's bringing my lunch. Same thing, every day, fresh ....... Well, at least it's a warm meal.

Bye for now,
D fiant

Ps. Arrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

 

[MathGirl]

Oh, no!

I'm still being held prisoner in this dark cellar by that horrible mad woman. Hope she never catches me using her computer while she's out. It's the only way I can communicate with the outside world and call for help. Without that, I think I'd to mad. Mad, I tell you, mad, mad, MAD. AHahahahahahahahahahaha

After (ugh) lunch, she bolted me back on to the wall, and I haven't seen her since. She promised she would have a surprise for me when she got back. I sure hope it's that bigger plug for my bottom that she keeps promising.

Owwwww Arrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh Sorry, I'm okay now.

I'm rather pleased at the way I've learned to type with my left hand shackled to my right ankle and my right hand tied up between my shoulder blades. Where there's a will, there's a way, I always say.

I hope you're working on some way to rescue me from this insane woman. I can't endure much more of this torture. I'm worried that the basement might flood while I'm on the rack. The water would feel good where she used the blowtorch, though.

My noolies are swollen to the size of grapefruits now, but she says putting them on the anvil and a good whack with the BIG hammer will make them all better. I can hardly wait for that, because they're quite painful. Oh. Excuse me ....... EEEYYooooowwwwww Thanks.

I'm getting used to being bolted to the wall by the ears now. Actually there's a nice breeze off the privy up there.

Oops, I hear her coming. It's back to the wall for me. I hope you will get help for me soon. She's been talking about a "stimulating" experience for me, but I'm afraid it involves electrical current and that bad tooth of mine.

Bye for now,
D fianArrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh

Ps. PLEASE don't forget the Preparation H

 

[shingtao]

ouch

I feel your pain D fiant, but you have to keep looking on the bright side. No matter what happens you still have your dignity, maybe not your ass virginity, but your dignity is whats important. I'm still waiting for the police to get back from the donut musuem, but don't worry, I'll find a way. Just remember, what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger, and chick dig scars, well except for the really nasty looking ones.

Shingtao

 

[MathGirl]

Owiiiee

Dear Shing,

Thank you for writing. I thought everyone had forgotten me. Just thought I'd let you know I'm still waiting for rescue. I'm still a prisoner in this dungeon and being tortured by that horrible mad woman.

I think she's starting to like me a little. Just small things, but I think there's feeling behind her cold, hard mask. For example, I complained of thirst, and the glass of urine she gave me had an ice cube in it. Now that's thoughtful.

When she noticed that my lips were getting chapped from the gag, she smeared some ..... well .. you-know-what on them. Yes, that stuff. Well, it sure keeps me from licking them.

I can't help thinking of my wife and kids. If I'm lucky, they will have moved to, say, Indonesia by the time I get out of here.

She told me what she's planned to do to me this evening, and it's almost too horrible to think about. Oh, I don't mind having my noolies in a vise, and what's another fingernail more or less? Even the boiling vinegar on my fresh whip wounds doesn't sound too bad. But the finale is just too terrible to even contemplate. I know you'll cringe when you read this, but I want you to know how dire my situation is. She's going to (shudder) read to me. An Avalon Romance. Oh, God, I hope I pass out from the pain in my tonker before I have to endure that!

Oh, Oh. I hear her coming. I'd better get my ears nailed back to the wall.

Hoping to hear from anyone soon. Don't forget the you-know-what. Large tube.

D FianOOwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Ps. She got that new plug for my bottom today. The way she hammered it in was very erotic. I really think she's falling for me. Arrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhh

 

[MercyMia]

Dear D fiant,

Don't worry, the donut museum tours take only 5 hours, so the police should at least get to you soon. Maybe once they rescue you, you can ask to be taken to the donut museum. There is a special corner dedicated to Homer Simpson. At each stop along the tour, the visitors are given samples of donuts and the highlight of the entire tour is the Cream Room, which I won't go into right now, but suffice it to say you have to strip to your skivvies (unless you're not wearing any) to wallow...

But I digress.

I'm hoping you keep up your great attitude while in captivity. Just keep a smile on your face and whistle in the dark. And remember, I'm right here.

With much concern,
MM

 

[MathGirl]

EEeeoooowwwwww

Hi, it's me again. Still imprisoned in the horrible dungeon and being tortured by that horrible mad woman. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, I'd really appreciate at least a token attempt at rescue. I know it's your busy time, but I'm suffering quite a lot.

She left me alone for a few minutes, so I can sneak a fast note off to you on her computer. It's my only contact with the outside world. Well, there's Chuck and Edwina. They're my rat friends. No matter how much you have in common, it's really difficult to establish a truly close relationship with someone when there's that species and language barrier. Well, they're better than Arnie, that disgusting spider.

Guess what? I had an outing today. Of course I was hogtied, blindfolded and gagged, so they took me out in a wheelbarrow. I suppose there are those who would look upon being staked out, spread eagled, on an anthill as torture. Well, call me Mr. Pollyanna, but I thought of it as an opportunity to work on my tan.

Oh, dear. I think I hear her coming. Probably bringing my morning glass of urine. I don't want her to catch me using the computer, so I'd better send this and get myself strung back up by the tonker. Believe me, it's better than being bolted to the wall by the ears.

I'd be happy to hear from anyone who can give me advice or help me get out of here.

Excuse me .......... Oooowwwwwwww..... thank you.

Best Wishes,

D fianArrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhh

Ps.. Better make that two tubes of Preparation H. And Hurry!

 

[MercyMia]

Dear D fiant

I know you're eager to get out of the clutches of your captor, but I'm cooking dinner here. I was just at the supermarket this afternoon and had I known you needed MORE Preparation-H, I would have put a couple of tubes in my cart. Well, I'll have to write that down on my weekly shopping list for next Thursday.

In the meantime, to help yourself get through these trying experiences, maybe you can learn the Martha Stewart mantra. It goes like this. "Smile smile smile and life is worthwhile. Frown frown frown and wrinkles fall down." Just repeat that to yourself as you hang by your tonker. You'll see.

Also, to give you something to look forward to, I promise that once you are released, I'll take you personally to the donut museum--that is, unless you have to go on Thursday. Because Thursday is my shopping day, as I've already mentioned. Oh, and not on Wednesdays either because that's when my Time magazine is delivered. Some Tuesdays are okay, but I need a couple of weeks' notice. So that leaves Mondays and Fridays as clearly open...well, wait a minute, forget Mondays, I have a flower arranging class every Monday for the next 2 years. And Fridays, the traffic is pretty bad heading out of town, so, forget Fridays. Well, look, if you can give me a couple of weeks' notice, I might be able to take you on a Tuesday...as long as we cut the tour short by 2 or 3 hours and head straight to the Cream Room, if that's all right with you.

Okay, my squash is burning. Much love to you and your new friends. Remember! Marthat Stewart's mantra!

MM

 

[MathGirl]

Gratitude

Dear MM and Everyone,

Hi, it's me again. Still languishing in terror and pain in that mad woman's dungeon.

Thank you so much for the nice message, MM. You have no idea how much that means to me.

She left me alone for a few minutes, so I can sneak a fast note off to you on her computer. It's my only contact with the outside world. Well, except for the friends I told you about.

EEYooooooowwwwwwwww Excuse me.

This will be a quick note, because I can't risk her catching me using her computer to communicate with you. Please note that I love getting your supportive messages, and I know you're doing all you can to get me rescued. All messages are deeply appreciated and cherished.

Did I mention that I think she's starting to like me? Well, tomorrow's Valentine's Day, and I got a special treat this morning. Since I was strapped face down on the rack, I couldn't see what she was doing. There was a rather intense heat source in the room, and that odor of hot steel. Well, I don't mind telling you that I was a bit apprehensive.

Then she showed me the red hot, heart shaped business end of a branding iron. It was glowing that cherry red Valentine's Day color, and I thought it was very sweet of her.

I'm afraid I spoiled the romantic moment, because I fainted from the pain as the iron was pressed firmly to the right cheek of my bottom. Yes, I know. That's me, mister sissy. I awakened to the delicious aroma of frying meat. My mouth started to water before I realized it was me.

Oh, dear. I think I hear her coming this way. It was so soothing to sit in this mud puddle, but I'd better get back on the rack. My bottom is still a bit tender, but it just serves to remind me of the romantic gesture on her part. Argghhhhhhhhhhh Oh, pardon me.

Hope to hear from all of you soon.

D fianOwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiieeeeeee

Ps. PLEASE, PLEASE don't forget the Preparation H.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

See? What did I tell you guys?

He's beginning to grow an affection for her! And how nice to see that it's mutual. That heart branding thing really made me go awwwwwwww.

OK, let's leave the two love birds alone to play their naughty little games. Hush, hush, let's tip-toe out of here...

 

[MathGirl]

EEEYoowwwwwwwwww

Hi, Everyone. It's me again. Back in the dungeon. Still sneaking out messages on that mad woman's computer. I appreciate the messages of support, but I'd really, really prefer some progress rescue-wise. I don't want to sound like mister complainer, but it's really getting a bit trying.

I just had lunch. Something different this time, and I always appreciate a little variety in my diet. It was dog food. Well, that's okay, I guess, but I'm afraid this had been run through the d...... Oh, I'd better not complain. I don't want you to think I'm a whiner. It was warm and steaming, at least, and that's always better than a cold sandwich in a drafty dungeon like this. Look on the bright side, I always say.

The mad woman took me for a little outing after lunch. She called it a reward for my being so well behaved. Well, I really don't have much choice. After all, I'm gagged and fairly well restrained in one way or another 24/7. It's really a bit hard to misbehave under the circumstances. Oh, excuse me . Yeeeoooowwwwwwwwiiiiieeeeeee Sorry.

It was really nice to get out of this dark, damp, dreary dungeon for a while. I was dragged for several miles by a rope tied to her car bumper. It wasn't what I'd call healthy exercise, but at least I got out in the fresh air and sunshine. It really wasn't too bad except for the cactus patch.

She promised me a nice nap this afternoon, and I'm writing this in a rush before she returns. It will be nice to get this iron hat off for a while. She's going to beat me senseless with a baseball bat. At least I'll get some rest.

Gotta go now. Arrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh Pardon me. Don't forget to write.

Yours TrEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeuly
D fiant

Ps. Forget the Preparation H. It's too late.

 

[MercyMia]

Awww, D fiant, you're so cute!

Hugs,
MM

(scratching Prep-H off shopping list)

 

[shingtao]

Hi D fiant, sorry I took so long to reply, but there was a big sale at the mall, and well you know how it is. I didn't forget about you though, I actually went to the store to get some preperation H, but now that you don't need it anymore, I guess I'll have to save it for a special occasion. Oh yeah, I was called the police again, and they said that they are back from the donut museum, unfortunately, they won an all expense paid trip to Hawaii at the museum for being the only ones there. I'm invited too. Sorry about the delay, but I guess you're stuck for a couple more weeks. But don't worry, I have faith in you, and I'll make time to think about you, maybe I could squeeze that in for when I'm using the crapper. Good luck.

Shingtao

 

[MercyMia]

Hi D fiant

I'm so excited about this article I clipped for you from the latest Martha Stewart magazine. (I hope you've been doing your mantra!) Maybe you can earn money from this cottage industry and order your medical supplies online!!!



> How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads
>Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers, etc.
>Pad About Slippers
>* Soft and Hygienic
>* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
>* Built in deodorant feature
>* Keeps feet smelling fresh
>* No more bending over to mop up spills
>* Disposable and biodegradable. Environmentally safe
>* Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light day and Get out the Sand Bag
>
>

 

[MathGirl]

Ow ow ow OOOwwwwwwieeee

Hi, everybody out there in the world. It's still dungeon city for me. It's been a busy day, what with the anthill, branding, my little outing, nap, etc. I love the wonderful messages of encouragement and support you've been sending. Couldn't there be just a teeny, tiny bit more effort at actually rescuing me? I certainly don't want to sound like a complainer, but my experiences here are getting a bit tedious. Owwwwww Ouch! Sorry, couldn't help it.

The mad woman and I played a little game today. Of course I was hogtied and gagged, but we still had a fun time. She would yank out one of my nose hairs Eowwwwww with needle nosed pliers. If I flinched, she would give me a smack on my new brand with a ping pong paddle. If I didn't flinch, all she did was whack my iron hat with her BIG hammer. it was lots of fun, but we eventually ran out of nose hairs, and I kept losing consciousness.

My ball gag was bothering me, so she used her BIG hammer to remove a couple of my teeth. It's much more comfortable now. The mad woman is a real demon for discipline, but I can't say she's inconsiderate. Like I mentioned earier, I think she's beginning to really like me.

More good news. I'm not going to be strung up by the tonker tonight. She's going to hang me by the feet from the privy ceiling with my shoulders resting on the seat. Of course that means my head will be down the hole. Doesn't sound too bad, and the fumes will probably have an anesthetic effect. I expect to get a good night's sleep. It will sure be nice to give the old tonker a rest. Arrgggghhhhh Pardon me.

Well, gotta go now. She'll be coming to kick me goodnight.

SincerOOOwwwwwwwwwwAArgggggnnnnnnnly
D fiant

Ps.. MM, Thank you so much for the encouraging words and advice. I could see this dungeon made over into a real Martha Stweart kind of place.

 

[Just_John1]

Help is on the way!

The village people promised to stop and pick up Elton John on their way to you... I think they might need some clarification... At first they said they'd help, but the police man dude said something about observation for a while as he walked out the door, and the indian guy was interested in the tonker on the anvil thing... Oh well... Hope it helps.

 

[MathGirl]

Owwie

Hi, everyone. It's me again, sneaking a message out on the mad woman's computer while she's out. Still in the dungeon, I'm afraid. Your messages of support are wonderful, but I sure hope that you've organized a rescue attempt. I'm not sure how much ..... EEYYoooowwwwww.... more of this I can survive.

I'm trying to be stoic and uncomplaining, but I must tell you about last night so you will know how awful my plight is. I believe I mentioned that I was suspended from the privy ceiling by my ankles with my head down the hole. Well, that wasn't too bad, once my nose shut down and my eyes stopped watering. Then, just as I got to sleep, a party started upstairs. Well, call me mister whiner, but I hardly slept a wink after that.

I didn't realize that this was a two story privy, and that everything from upstairs ended up down where I was. Gravity, you know. I don't want to bore you with unpleasant details, so let's just say that lots of beer was consumed upstairs, and I received the ... results. If that wasn't enough, the bean dip must have been bad, because everyone had dia ..... Oh, never mind. You're going to think I'm just a crybaby. ARRggghhhhhhhhhhhhh Sorry. There I was without even a towel to wipe my face. Of course my hands were cuffed up between my legs, so I couldn't have .... Well, you know.

As you can imagine, the privy upstairs was very busy, and I was the recipient of all the offerings. Needless to say, it was a long, sleepless night.

Well, now it's another day, and I'm trying to look on the bright side. Breakfast was served from the cat's litter box, and I was allowed to eat all I wanted. I thought that was a nice gesture by the mad woman. I hope you won't think I'm mister particular, but it was really quite gritty. Also, it was a tiny bit too ... piquant ... for my taste. I'm afraid the cat had been fed curry and chili peppers. Poor kitty.

Oh, dear. Here she comes. I must close and get back into the iron maiden. I mentioned that the dungeon was cold, so she's going to build to build a fire under the maiden for me. She's so thoughtful.

Bye for OUCH!!! now,
D Fiant

Ps. No ice in my morning glass of urine today. I hope I haven't done anything to anger her.

Pps . Dear JJ, Thank you for your thoughtful EEEEyyyooowwww

 

[MathGirl]

Yeeeouchie

Good morning, everyone. It's me again, still in the mad woman's dungeon. I'm assuming that you've organized search and rescue parties for me, and I sure hope they hurry. As always, your letters are a wonderful source of hope and strength for me. Oooooh, noooo...... Excuse me.

She got me out of the iron maiden just in time. She built the fire, then I guess she forgot about it. When she smelled something burning, she rushed down and put the fire out by dousing it with the contents of her urinal. I don't mind telling you that the resulting steam was enough to make my eyes water. Oh, that "something burning" was me.

Well, she hung me up by the tonker to let me rest after that ordeal. I'm feeling much better now. EEEEYYooooowwwwwww If the old tonker gets stretched any thinner though, I'll be able to pluck it like a guitar string.

The mad woman tightened my iron hat so much that it felt like my eyeballs were about to make an exit through my ears. I know, I know, mister whiner. Well, when I complained about my headache, she put one of my noolies on that cold anvil and gave it a good whack with that BIG hammer of hers. It's amazing! As soon as she did that, I completely forgot about my headache. She may be stern, but she is very considerate when it comes to my comfort. Agggggggggghhh Pardon me.

The mad woman has very little sense of humor. Everything's literal with her. When she said she would "have your guts for garters," I knew that certain moist, wobbly parts of me were destined to become hoisery accessories. I just hope she calls in a competent surgeon.

Well, I must go. It's time for my flogging. I've almost come to look forward to it. It breaks up an otherwise tedious morning. Arrggghhhhh Since this is Valentine's Day, she has something special planned for me. She said mentioned a kitty with seve ... no, it was nine tails. Something like that. It sounds intriguing. I like pussycats.

Hope to hear from you soon,
D fiant

P.s. Ow ow ow ow ow

 

[MathGirl]

Woe is me

Booo Hoooo! Oh, woe is me. Sob, sob, sob. Sniffle. I can't take it any ... Waaaaaaaaaaa. I'd rather die than ....... Boo Hoo. Sob. Please, God, just let me .... Arrrrgggghhhhhh.

Oh, Hi there. Sorry, you caught me at a bad time. I'm afraid I let myself get into one of those self-pitying moods and ...... well, just call me mister sob sister. Oh sure, I'm hogtied, gagged, held prisoner in a dank dungeon, subjected to torture, made to eat .. awful things. I musn't feel sorry for myself, though. I'm sure there are people in places like Ethiopia, Chad, and Los Angeles who would gladly trade places with me. At least I'm not forced to watch golf on TV.

Ever had a wax hair removal? Well, I had one today, and it was quite an experience. The mad woman is an absolute tiger for hygiene, and she was afraid I might catch cooties from my numerous furry friends. Well, I'll admit my privy mouse pals Hector and Courtney are not the best groomed, so I suppose precautionary depilation was understandable.

I believe waxing is normally only used in small, discreet spots like the lower legs and bikini areas. Well, the mad woman isn't one to take half measures. It was a whole-body treatment for me. Strung up by the ears, dipped in a vat of that hot wax, then left hanging while the wax cooled and hardened. Well, the vat of wax was a trifle warmer than I would have preferred, but I didn't scream. Of course I was thoroughly gagged. It was when the wax had set and she peeled me like an orange that I felt some discomfort. Thankfully, I lost consciousness when she started peeling me in that sensitive area around my ...... Oh, there I go again, telling you my troubles. You all must think I'm a terrible crybaby.

Oops, I'd better go. She'll be bringing my lunch soon, and I don't want her to catch me sending you these messages on her computer. The mad woman might do something really nasty to me if that happened.

Please keep your messages of support coming. They mean so much to me.

Yours EEEEEOOOOOwwwwwwwwwwwwwww truly,
D fiant

ps. sob

 

[shingtao]

wow

Aloha D fiant, back from Hawaii!! Wish you could have been there. I had a great time and got a lot of tanning done. You are really lucky, I wish someone would give me a full body hair removal treatment. I have plenty of unwanted hair in certain places that I'd rather not talk about. And oh, I didn't forget about finding help. It seems like the police are on another vacation, this time to Iraq. Wonder what they're doing there? I offered to stay back because I have to help form a rescue team to save you. I've been training blood-thirsty pitbulls to attack on sight. I will try to locate the mad woman's basement and let the dogs take care of their business. Don't worry, I will have you out in no time, I hope.

Shingtao

ps: A word of advice, when the dogs get there.... get off ground level.

 

[MercyMia]

D fiant, honey

I'm starting to worry about you. It sounds like you're actually falling in love with the mad woman. You have to be strong and resist her charms. She's got ulterior motives although they may not be clear to you right now.

Just because she gave you a whole body wax treatment doesn't mean she loves you, D. Resist, resist!

On my end, I've been trying to round up a rescue team to go out and spring you. Just this morning, after a round of golf with my lady friends, we sat at the coffee shop and talked about your situation. Believe me, my girl friends were quite entertained with the posts that I had printed off. One of them is a writer-cum-pop-psychologist (although she hasn't really published anything) and she even analyzed the undercurrents of meaning in your writing. She says you have a love-hate relationship with your captor that reflects back to a childhood of unnecessarily prolonged toilet training. She said it's clear from the way you graphically describe your treatments by the mad woman that you also relish food.

The point is, all my friends and I will rally the neighborhood Brownie Scouts together and descend on that dark basement to release you. That's the plan for now. It's a little vague because several of us observed that we hadn't seen any Brownie Scouts in the area for the last 5 or 10 years. But still, we have a plan and it's just a matter of translating it into action.

So in the meantime, remember the Martha Stewart mantra, I'm sending along a large carton of maxipads and red ribbon so you can get started on the slippers project. You know what they say--idle hands are the devil's workshop!

MM

 

[MathGirl]

Re: D fiant, honey

You know what they say--idle hands are the devil's workshop!
MM

Dear MM,
I'm afraid you misquoted that old saying. I believe it's, "Idle shops are the devil's handjob."

Hi again from the mad woman's dungeon. Just time for a quick note, because she's coming back soon.

Remember yesterday when I told you about a whipping she promised me? Well, it was quite an experience. It turned out that the cat o'nine tails isn't something warm and furry that purrs. Just the thing, though, for that nagging itch on the back that you can't quite reach.

Dinner last night was beans and broccoli. All I wanted. Same thing for breakfast this morning. It's really tasty, and the accompanying glass of urine makes for a nice presentation. This is the first food I've had here that hadn't had a ... previous owner. I think she's definitely warming up to me. Oh, pardon me for just a moment.. EEEYowwwwwwwwwwwwww ... Thanks.

Last night was the first time I've slept here without being hung up by something. You know, thumbs, tonker, ankles. She let me sleep in the privy. No, not on the seat part; IN the privy. Well, it sure wasn't the Hilton, but at least it was soft and warm.

As soon as she got me up, I had a nice shower. I was suspended from the ceiling from my big toes, and she used a high pressure industrial parts washer on me. Quite invigorating.

I'm beginning to wish she would pull that plug out of my bottom for a while. It's been several days now, and (OUCH!! Excuse me) I'm starting to feel some pressure down there. No, no, I don't mean to complain.

Oh, Dear. I hear her coming, so I must go. She promised a midmorning snack. Beans and broccoli again, I'm afraid. I'm not being mister fussy eater, mind you. It's good, nourishing food, and I'm the .... original owner. Oh, Dear...... Arrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh Ah, that's better.

Thanks again, MM and Shing, for your notes of encouragement. I'd love to hear from anyone else, too. Any word on when I might expect to be rescued? I hate to be a pest, but that plug simply has to be removed soon.

Bye for now,
D fiant

Ps.. whimper

 

[MercyMia]

Dear D fiant

Yes, you're right, that's what they said--idle workshops are the devil's maxipad slippers. Oh, my, a Freudian slip!

Really, I hate to be such a nag, but please take some interest in the cartons of maxipads I smuggled in via the rat connection. I think once you get your mind off whatever she is doing to you, you will begin to heal immediately.

In the meantime, yes, I am diligently scouring the city for Brownie Scouts and in particular, I'm asking that they have experience in removing butt plugs. I like to bring the right people to the task. Please understand how difficult it is to find this exact combination of skills! Be patient, D fiant. Surely you can hang on a little longer!

I imagine your mother won't recognize you once you're out, now that you're nicely stretched and have those interesting markings on your body. I hope your captor has a webcam of some sort so you can record the gradual changes and prove to the outside world that you are really you upon your release.

We're cheering for you, D, don't ever mistake our careful planning for indifference!

You still haven't said whether you are interested in the visit to the donut museum. Shingtao's report on his tour worries me a bit because he said they were the only people there. Perhaps if you can let me know whether you're interested or not, then I can call and make reservations.

In the meantime, please remember the slippers!

MM

 

[MathGirl]

Buzzards

Dear MM,

Thank you so much for the letter of encouragement. The mad woman has put the maxipads to good use. She stuffs one in my mouth, secures it with a strip of duct tape, and voila! a handy, disposable gag. That ball gag was getting downright unsanitary.

Speaking of the mad woman, she was unhappy with the way my facial hair keeps growing. As I've mentioned, she's depilated the rest of me quite thoroughly. Well, that same blowtorch she uses on my feet took care of that unsightly beard and moustache. Now I'm as smooth as a baby's bottom. Well, except for the blisters and charring.

I really think something is going to have to give soon. Lower intestine wise, I mean. My bottom is quite tightly plugged, and I'm afraid the diet she has been feeding me has caused a bit of gas to build up. I try not to be mister whiner, but my abdomen has swollen so it looks like I've swallowed a basketball. Pardon me for just a tiny moment .... Owww Owww Eeeeeeeeeeyyyyooowwww ... Thank you for your patience, I really needed that.

It was anthill time again this morning. I was staked down, spread eagled, on my face. Nice fresh air, and a great opportunity to even out my suntan. The buzzards started gathering, but my shrieks kept them from actually beginning to feed. The sun was quite warm out there, and it felt good when she wheeled me back into the cool dungeon and strung me up by the tonker. Now if I could just get those pesky fire ants out of my nose. You must think I'm a terrible sissy. Arrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

Well, I must go. It's time for my morning nap, and she's coming to help me get to sleep. The mad woman simply bangs on my iron hat with her BIG hammer, and I'm out like a light after a few dozen whacks. Healthier then those awful sleeping pills, I think.

I hate to keep bring up the R-word, but a spot of rescue would be really, really welcome. Preferably before I explode.

YeeeoooooWWWWWWWWWWWW,
D fiant

Ps.. gasp
Pps .. Helllllllllpppppppp Anybody!!!

 

[shingtao]

Hi D fiant, sorry but the pitbull operation was a complete failure. It seems that the dogs have taken a liking to her because I received a letter saying "thanks for the dogs." I am not sure what she is going to do with the dogs, but I am guessing she will use it as another torture technique, or maybe the dogs will join you in being tortured. Then you will have friends that will go through the same things as you are. Sorry about all the delay but I will quickly start on a new operation to get you out. After I go and watch Daredevil that is.

Shingtao

 

[MathGirl]

Bloatsville

Hello, all. Just in case I haven't mentioned it before, I sure could use some rescue activity here. Things aren't improving at all down here in the dungeon, and the mad woman's mood shows no sign of changes, Pollyanna-wise. I really, really need some HELP!

Busy, busy around here this morning. Well, not on my part, because I'm bolted to the wall by the ears. The mad woman has quite a project going, though. She's building a "X" shaped thing on the wall. It's about seven feet tall and made of heavy timbers. Looks like there's going to be straps and shackles in several places. Interesting eye bolts, too. I don't know why she's making that thing, but I have a vague apprehension that it's going to have my name on it. Oh, there I go again, mister worry wart. Ow Ow Ow Oh, sunofabitchthathurts! Eeeyowwwwww Sorry.

She keeps force feeding me that bean-broccoli mixture, and my tummy just grows and grows. I'm afraid I'm going to be left with some unsightly stretch marks when this is all over. I appear to be about eleven months pregnant, and I'm feeling quite full ... down there. It's a good thing that plug thingie was securely hammered into my bottom, or I could have an accident.

The valentine heart she branded on the cheek of my bottom has healed nicely, and I think it will serve as an attractive reminder of my ordeal when this is all over. Assuming I get rescued, of course. Hint, hint. Ohshitohdearthathurtslikeamothe.... Please forgive me. Just a spasm.

Sorry this is so brief, but it's time for floggy-poo. I'm the featured attraction, and I must confess that I love the spotlight.

Yours, hoping for you-know-what,
D fiant

Ps. Owwwjesuschristonacrutchthatsmartsithinkibrokesomethingthistimeowowowwoooowww

Pps. In case you don't know you-know-what, it's rescue.

Ppps. Could someone tell me how to attach a .jpg image to a message.?