Yes. There was … no reply.Reading above, quick question—If you have been ghosted, have you ever tried to contact the person and ask why?
I suppose I’ve been ghosted by a friend, I reached out, she didn’t reply and that’s all I could do. I have no further questions about her. That’s who she is.
I don't think I've ever been ghosted by someone while they remained active on Lit. That would be tough, to see someone here and posting while they are ignoring you. The few times I've been ghosted, things seemed to be going well then the person disappeared. My first instinct is to worry and message them asking if everything is okay. If I don't hear anything back after a few days, I will send another message saying that I hope they are okay and that I enjoyed talking with them.Reading above, quick question—If you have been ghosted, have you ever tried to contact the person and ask why?
I suppose I’ve been ghosted by a friend, I reached out, she didn’t reply and that’s all I could do. I have no further questions about her. That’s who she is.
Same. I think @hotwords229_A is right that you just have to accept that’s who they are. Even if that feels awful and there’s no closure.Yes. There was … no reply.
I do accept it. I’m just disappointed.
@Love_Is_Blonde I couldn’t agree with you more and you described ghosting perfectly. It is a brutal gut punch and the not knowing what happens makes it that much more painful. I’m sorry this happened to you, for what it’s worth it’s their loss because I think you’re an absolute gem.*high five to a fellow teacher! May is rough, isn’t it?? Sheesh …
And yes, the friendships here are real. And so is the heartache. Ghosting is a gut punch that sure hurts for a long time. And it confuses me too. Bc I don’t know why. And then there’s the cycle…
This is one of the many things I feel like I should have grown out of my now. How old am I? And these things still bother me? They shouldn’t, should they? And actually most of the time, they don’t. But I will catch myself thinking, “if only I’d said ____ to that person three years ago, maybe this would have been avoided, but wait, I didn’t know ___ then…” and you just keep going around and around.
Or maybe it’s just me. This is when I know that it’s time to take a walk or talk to a friend or do some laundry or whatever else but think of things that could have been.
I come back to you just do the best you can with the information you have at the time. And that’s the best I can do.
Well that was a rambling tangent.sorry folks, and @BreukelenAnima but I guess that’s just what was on my mind.
Sorry you were ghosted. As for being ghosted by someone here and seeing them still active, I can’t imagine how disheartening that is. Your post is beautifully worded.
I can see that. I think that is very different than when someone does it out of spite or when they are still around but just not talking to you.
In another lifetime, aka who I once was before I self reflected… I was close to someone here for many years, at least it seemed like it. When it all came down he really did not treat me very well so I walked away from him, he had ghosted me on many occasions and I had reached out and was greeted by months/ years of silence. Who I am today I just can’t be the one who reaches out, a very wise and dear friend taught me, “If they wanted to, they would”.
That’s an important clarification. Miscommunication isn’t the same as ghosting. People get signals crossed all the time and that’s what it usually is. It isn’t usually ghosting. But this was. It happened to me twice. One person got his feelings hurt because I didn’t respond quickly enough to his message and he took offense to that so he decided to stop talking to me. (This is what I think, but I don’t really know because he never responded to my repeated attempts to ask him if that is what was happening). But you know how online communications are; messages come in at different times, or they lag, or you’re looking in one place while the message comes in to another. Anyway- it was not intentional. At first I was sad because I felt badly that I’d hurt his feelings. Then I got over that. I did not mean hurt his feelings. I apologized for doing so. He did not respond. That was the best that I could do.
To quote @Lord Pmann ”He sounds like a delight”.
Yes, I believe you are exactly right... and your last sentence lies at the heart of the issue for me personally. The feelings of loss are real when a person simply disappears. That feeling of loss is a clear reflection of how positive the exchanges started out and how they made you feel. It's wonderful when words can make a new friend or draw you close to someone... and when it ends so abruptly, or your efforts to repair your words in order to create a deeper understanding go ignored... It is definitely a loss... sometimes extremely hurtful and painful. You can't help but wonder how deep it might've gone, how real could it have become, and might it have leapt off the pages of Lit and into our real lives? The nature of the Lit makes something like that far reaching and a bit of a dream, but one does wonder what might've been. At the very least, a good and loyal friend on here is a very good thing...and most of us are open to such a friendship.
Its cliche to say the person on the other side of the screen is real...but cliches are such for the universal truth in the statement. I've been in both sides of ghosting for various reasons but I try now to keep it in the front of my mind that I at the very least need to either close the connection openly or offer a potential return window. If the reason is them I tell them. If the reason has nothing to do with them I make it a point to tell them that also. Either way is freeing as closure has been obtained.
Yes. Once, in an intimate relationship.
This.That’s who she is.
Meant to say that I found this surprising. In my experience you are particularly assiduous at responding to posts pointed in your direction.
I agree. I am awesome.
I've written Gov. Gretchen Whitmer multiple times on all of our behalf on the off chance she's Suzanne.
I've not been ghosted. I don't think. Ghosting is when the person is out and visible and just ignores you as if they don't know you, had never known you.
