❓ PLP Inquires❓

[TheWhiteBull]

Just picking part of what you said, Avery. I'm going to have to ask about crowd funding because I really don't see what the deal is but I'd be curious to hear everyone's thoughts.

But anyway... back to jadedness.... (jadedness?)

I don't know if it's specifically what Avery is referring to but there's quite a bit of abuse of crowdfunding (Gofundme and others). Limited transparency as to how truthful claims made by petitioners are and how monies donated are actually spent.

 

[AveryElle]

Just picking part of what you said, Avery. I'm going to have to ask about crowd funding because I really don't see what the deal is but I'd be curious to hear everyone's thoughts.

But anyway... back to jadedness.... (jadedness?)

Jadidity?

For me, crowd funding can be alienating. If I don't like your craft, or I think you could get a job to help support your craft, I look rude if the person is a friend if I don't contribute. Friends and money don't mix. Don't lend or donate specifically to friends. If someone paints me something, that's commerce and is considered income. That is different. Early access to your blog posts? IDGAF. Genuine charity is different - and sometimes those requests can be enlightening, but it is still weird to NOT donate.

 

[Sexybritches69]

07.24.19

Has there been anything in your life that's left you jaded? What about Lit specifically? Can you break out of a jaded mindset?

I get jaded at my job sometimes. Like when they want us to reinvent the wheel in an effort to do something useless like increase test scores for something where the data isn’t used for anything that will help students.

I get jaded online when friendships change and it goes from something very special to something where I don’t feel very important to that person. That’s not just on Lit though.

I don’t like being jaded. It takes away the possibility of seeing something for what it really is. But I guess when you’ve experienced ups and downs, jadedness/jadidity/jadedment/jadacity, even—can creep in.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

I don’t like being jaded. It takes away the possibility of seeing something for what it really is. But I guess when you’ve experienced ups and downs, jadedness/jadidity/jadedment/jadacity, even—can creep in.

It is a skill to be developed, to see things as they are without being jaded, yet it's a skill that can't be developed without experiencing hard times, betrayal...like that.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

07.24.19

Has there been anything in your life that's left you jaded? What about Lit specifically? Can you break out of a jaded mindset?

Jaded? Yes. Lit? Definitely, but offline, too. People are shitty everywhere.

 

[beachbaby179]

I'm not sure I'm jaded. I'm cautious. I still believe that most people here are genuine and nice. The asshats are in the minority. But I've had more than one experience with ghosting (they eventually returned) that makes me think twice about sharing anything personal with people. I'm still kind of fragile that way, but working on it, and it sets me back big time when it happens. I don't think that qualifies as jaded though.

 

[lurkingguy1978]

I've found myself jaded in real life at times. And it's bled into my Lit life sometimes too.

But I'm actively trying to NOT be jaded. to tamp down the cynicism. To be more open and to be unafraid of who I am and who I want to be.

But the jade seeps easily if I'm not looking for it.

 

[Emhdtats]

I have to admit to becoming jaded episodically. It tends to happen here when ghosted, or when misled or lied to. When something like that happens, I try to practice compassion. When that fails, and it does more frequently than I’d like, I disengage. I find compassion easier to exercise in the real world than here. Maybe because “escape” is easier here.

 

[SoulAssasin247]

07.24.19

Has there been anything in your life that's left you jaded? What about Lit specifically? Can you break out of a jaded mindset?

In my personal life, not too much, because I keep the bs away from me. I'm pretty optimistic that things will work out. I don't find it jaded to judge a person, by their own actions and require proof of changes.

When it comes to society I'm totally jaded, seeing how brainwashed people are and how quick they follow to fit in. Major atrocities are happening, because the people fall for bs lies.


LIT I'm very jaded for many reason. Very recently, information falling into my lap and finding out many have been scheming, spreading rumors behind the scenes and planting seeds to people I talk to. Knowing a lot of people that post together, doesn't even get along with each other. I could go on for days.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

07.24.19

Has there been anything in your life that's left you jaded? What about Lit specifically? Can you break out of a jaded mindset?

It takes a lot to have me properly jaded - I am an eternal optimist and generally throw myself into things with both feet... I only get properly jaded when I feel helpless...

So Boris Johnson is a major concern to me, but I don’t feel helpless - and because of that I am energised not jaded. I can see how he can be stopped from destroying us all - the political will is there... the will of the people is there...

Whereas watching a crowd of people the other side of the ocean chant ‘send her back’ makes me feel helpless... not my country... not my place to attempt change... how do you argue with people that accept propaganda so unquestionably?... but the ramifications for all of us are huge... and the helplessness is so draining...

Lit specifically - I get a little jaded when people accept the obvious fakes so easily. I don’t really care about the fakers in most threads - I get this is the internet but if you show up in ampics or the personals, it bothers me... it bothers me because I know how much courage it takes for some posters to put themselves out there. A couple of times a supposed female poster has been called out with proof of fake pics, some of the men have gone after those who undercovered it - it’s hard watching honest people being labelled as ‘jealous’ or whatever by men that prefer to remain hoodwinked...

In the personals I just worry for people being honey-trapped and blackmailed - maybe I shouldn’t care but I do... there are a lot of lonely souls here and no one deserves to go through that sort of shit. As to whether you can be less jaded - I think so once you figure out how you can be less helpless and more proactive, x

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

It takes a lot to have me properly jaded - I am an eternal optimist and generally throw myself into things with both feet... I only get properly jaded when I feel helpless...

So Boris Johnson is a major concern to me, but I don’t feel helpless - and because of that I am energised not jaded. I can see how he can be stopped from destroying us all - the political will is there... the will of the people is there...

Whereas watching a crowd of people the other side of the ocean chant ‘send her back’ makes me feel helpless... not my country... not my place to attempt change... how do you argue with people that accept propaganda so unquestionably?... but the ramifications for all of us are huge... and the helplessness is so draining...

Lit specifically - I get a little jaded when people accept the obvious fakes so easily. I don’t really care about the fakers in most threads - I get this is the internet but if you show up in ampics or the personals, it bothers me... it bothers me because I know how much courage it takes for some posters to put themselves out there. A couple of times a supposed female poster has been called out with proof of fake pics, some of the men have gone after those who undercovered it - it’s hard watching honest people being labelled as ‘jealous’ or whatever by men that prefer to remain hoodwinked...

In the personals I just worry for people being honey-trapped and blackmailed - maybe I shouldn’t care but I do... there are a lot of lonely souls here and no one deserves to go through that sort of shit. As to whether you can be less jaded - I think so once you figure out how you can be less helpless and more proactive, x

Thank you so much for putting why fakes and alts really bother me into words. I can understand only putting your best self out but so many of us are struggling to be themselves and be comfortable in their own skin. I can see why this would double down on AmPicsers.

 

[AveryElle]

It takes a lot to have me properly jaded - I am an eternal optimist and generally throw myself into things with both feet... I only get properly jaded when I feel helpless...

So Boris Johnson is a major concern to me, but I don’t feel helpless - and because of that I am energised not jaded. I can see how he can be stopped from destroying us all - the political will is there... the will of the people is there...

Whereas watching a crowd of people the other side of the ocean chant ‘send her back’ makes me feel helpless... not my country... not my place to attempt change... how do you argue with people that accept propaganda so unquestionably?... but the ramifications for all of us are huge... and the helplessness is so draining...

Lit specifically - I get a little jaded when people accept the obvious fakes so easily. I don’t really care about the fakers in most threads - I get this is the internet but if you show up in ampics or the personals, it bothers me... it bothers me because I know how much courage it takes for some posters to put themselves out there. A couple of times a supposed female poster has been called out with proof of fake pics, some of the men have gone after those who undercovered it - it’s hard watching honest people being labelled as ‘jealous’ or whatever by men that prefer to remain hoodwinked...

In the personals I just worry for people being honey-trapped and blackmailed - maybe I shouldn’t care but I do... there are a lot of lonely souls here and no one deserves to go through that sort of shit. As to whether you can be less jaded - I think so once you figure out how you can be less helpless and more proactive, x

Now, I know I live in a bubble and it bothers me less cuz it’s been happening to my tribe for, well, basically ever. But it’s such a small segment of America that espouses that but they get all the coverage. THAT’s what makes me jaded. Stop covering these assholes and let them enjoy the ramifications of Trump policies that President Warren will have to fix.

Most of this country didn’t even vote for trump but because we like to disenfranchise black people and take power away from cities (even though they find this country), we are stuck with him. Maybe that makes you feel less helpless??

 

[AlliaPotestas]

Now, I know I live in a bubble and it bothers me less cuz it’s been happening to my tribe for, well, basically ever. But it’s such a small segment of America that espouses that but they get all the coverage. THAT’s what makes me jaded. Stop covering these assholes and let them enjoy the ramifications of Trump policies that President Warren will have to fix.

Most of this country didn’t even vote for trump but because we like to disenfranchise black people and take power away from cities (even though they find this country), we are stuck with him. Maybe that makes you feel less helpless??

Actually it does - thank you

It can be difficult to have perspective from over here... xx

 

[Paul_Chance]

07.24.19

Has there been anything in your life that's left you jaded? What about Lit specifically? Can you break out of a jaded mindset?

Once upon a time I was a very cynical person (which equates to jaded), then I went through some transformational life experiences after I went through the ones that made me cynical and I came to the point I am now. Which is not jaded at all.

Life is a rough beast. Buddha tells us all life is suffering and disappointment. Everyone, whether they are succeeding or not, is fighting a hard battle of some sort. In Buddhism we have a thing called the Metta Prayer, which basically goes like this (with some variation): May all beings know happiness and be free from suffering.

I think the art of becoming unjaded, at least in as far as my limited life perspective goes, is to grant yourself or gain perspective. When you learn to look at it as all human beings are suffering, and all human beings are turning on the wheel of Samsara, working on their karma, then you let go of the expectation that they are there to work on your karma for you. Work on your own karma. When you let go of the expectations you have for how other people take their journeys, the disappointment that leads to being jaded falls away.

 

[AnnieLit]

07.24.19

Has there been anything in your life that's left you jaded? What about Lit specifically? Can you break out of a jaded mindset?

Jaded... Disillusioned seems like a better choice of word. But that is for real life.
On Lit I am still a happy puppy. Yes, some things did not go quite how I hoped they will, so what?

Asshats and such in the political discussions don't bother me because I just don't go there.

Fake accounts ... to me it does not matter much. When I see an obvious fake, I do call it out, but if I don't know it, then it does not matter who really is on the other end of the conversation. This is internet, there is no "real" here.

Alts... I don't see what is wrong with them. I know some authors here have few accounts because they write either on different subjects or use very different voices for each account. Why not? I would not PM somebody from a male account, but if I ever write something from a male's POV, I am not going to put it under Annie's name.

 

[Mei5ter]

Jaded... Disillusioned seems like a better choice of word. But that is for real life.
On Lit I am still a happy puppy. Yes, some things did not go quite how I hoped they will, so what?

Asshats and such in the political discussions don't bother me because I just don't go there.

Fake accounts ... to me it does not matter much. When I see an obvious fake, I do call it out, but if I don't know it, then it does not matter who really is on the other end of the conversation. This is internet, there is no "real" here.

Alts... I don't see what is wrong with them. I know some authors here have few accounts because they write either on different subjects or use very different voices for each account. Why not? I would not PM somebody from a male account, but if I ever write something from a male's POV, I am not going to put it under Annie's name.

That’s interesting. Why do you feel that the stated gender of the author has to match that of the protagonist or narrator?

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

07.24.19

Has there been anything in your life that's left you jaded? What about Lit specifically? Can you break out of a jaded mindset?

Well, I think everyone is jaded about something at some point. For me, it comes when the situation always works out negatively. Though, is it jaded when I am just seeing the reality? Jadedness will vanish when the situation stops always working out negatively.

Younger me was a bit jaded towards men, specifically unknown men, who walked up to me, opened their mouth, and spoke words. The reason was 9 out of 10 times they would spew some ridiculous lie in an attempt to get in my pants. I grew older, and I guess looked less naive, they stopped assuming I was a fucking idiot, and at least came with a not absurd game, thus I grew less jaded. Though, I will admit, if a strange man walked up to me now, and told me he was a music video producer, model scout, photographer, movie producer, millionaire, astronaut, or the man who invented the car that runs on water, I would assume he was a giant lying douchbag, so I guess I am still jade against lying douchbags.

At work, there is a department that I never bother learning the new employees names until they have been here 90 days or more. why? 19 out of 20 never even make it a month. If the facts change, I will be less jaded about new hires in that department.

Here, I have become jaded against new people. When I first started at lit, I thought nothing about people who had virtually no post history. I didn't even look. Now, I don't really interact with those with a low post history. Reason A, the amount of them that lie about some really big things, such as gender. It does matter to me. If I am talking to a woman, I would like to actually be talking to a woman. I guess it doesn't matter all that much, but it does matter to me. Reason B, the amount who come here for a couple weeks than vanish. Sometimes I actually enjoy seeing them or talking to them, so it is disappointing when they never return. Reason C, the amount who send me pointless pms such as asking if I am married, what I look like, or how old I am. Come on, I have not hidden this information in a super secret vault. My marital status is in my user name, damn it. It makes me irrationally annoyed, I am not sure why. Reason D, they often get disturbingly creepy. Now, if these facts somehow change, I will change my view on it. However, at this point, I just don't bother. If they are worth spending time getting to know, they will still be here in three months.

 

[Suz_anne]

When you let go of the expectations you have for how other people take their journeys, the disappointment that leads to being jaded falls away.

#goals

 

[AnnieLit]

That’s interesting. Why do you feel that the stated gender of the author has to match that of the protagonist or narrator?

For one thing because I write it, he would have to be a gay male. And that's a very difference audience than my usual stories.

 

[AlwaysFara]

For one thing because I write it, he would have to be a gay male. And that's a very difference audience than my usual stories.

You’re an author. You can write from whose voice you want.

Right?

I’m not. So, I’m not being challenging. Simply asking.

 

[Paul_Chance]

There is solid marketing behind the use of gender specific pen names. In certain genres male authors, female authors, gay authors, all perform better than their counterparts. It reflects a certain level of bias, often unconscious bias, among the readership. If a reader is looking at a piece of writing that is first person POV and portrayed as autobiographical or semi autobiographical, you’ll hit certain audiences more efficiently than not. Author branding matters, even on the free site like Lit. There are readers who simply won’t read a lesbian coming out story by Rock Studwell. Beyond Lit you have whole genres dominated by gender specific pen names.

 

[AnnieLit]

There is solid marketing behind the use of gender specific pen names. In certain genres male authors, female authors, gay authors, all perform better than their counterparts. It reflects a certain level of bias, often unconscious bias, among the readership. If a reader is looking at a piece of writing that is first person POV and portrayed as autobiographical or semi autobiographical, you’ll hit certain audiences more efficiently than not. Author branding matters, even on the free site like Lit. There are readers who simply won’t read a lesbian coming out story by Rock Studwell. Beyond Lit you have whole genres dominated by gender specific pen names.

What he said ^^^.

I don't know anything about formal research as I don't publish for profit, but on a very personal level this feels true. If it is a first person pov and gender does not match stated gender of the author I am not reading it. When I just started reading Lit 3 years ago I did not look at author's name or profile. But then I read one story that did not feel right to me, checked the profile -- oops, wrong gender. Another story like that. Another. That was enough. Now there needs to be a really good reason why I would even start reading a mismatched story.

But all this is relevant only to the writing, I have absolutely no interest in bringing my male alt to the boards. I actually tried, first time I came here AnnieLit did not even exist yet. I lasted maybe a week, if that, talking only about things that were true for both "him" and the real me. Then a topic came up that I wanted to say something about, but there was absolutely no way a man could know it. That's how Annie came to be and after that "he" never showed his face around here

 

[base10]

What he said ^^^.

I don't know anything about formal research as I don't publish for profit, but on a very personal level this feels true. If it is a first person pov and gender does not match stated gender of the author I am not reading it. When I just started reading Lit 3 years ago I did not look at author's name or profile. But then I read one story that did not feel right to me, checked the profile -- oops, wrong gender. Another story like that. Another. That was enough. Now there needs to be a really good reason why I would even start reading a mismatched story.

But all this is relevant only to the writing, I have absolutely no interest in bringing my male alt to the boards. I actually tried, first time I came here AnnieLit did not even exist yet. I lasted maybe a week, if that, talking only about things that were true for both "him" and the real me. Then a topic came up that I wanted to say something about, but there was absolutely no way a man could know it. That's how Annie came to be and after that "he" never showed his face around here

This makes me incredibly sad for the purpose of storytelling. The idea that nobody with an outside perspective should be able to tell a story.

A skilled storyteller should be able to tell a story from the perspective of the first person, even if they don't have the personal experience of that perspective.

That is imagination, that is creativity, that gives multiple viewpoints and angles to a subject. It may not be an easy thing to do, but without it, I think something can be lost.

Nobody has to read anything they don't want to, but I believe there is value in not only an outside perspective, but a writer putting themselves into a position that is not natural to them.

 

[AnnieLit]

This makes me incredibly sad for the purpose of storytelling. The idea that nobody with an outside perspective should be able to tell a story.

A skilled storyteller should be able to tell a story from the perspective of the first person, even if they don't have the personal experience of that perspective.

That is imagination, that is creativity, that gives multiple viewpoints and angles to a subject. It may not be an easy thing to do, but without it, I think something can be lost.

Nobody has to read anything they don't want to, but I believe there is value in not only an outside perspective, but a writer putting themselves into a position that is not natural to them.

Did you even read what you were replying to? I never said that nobody can write a believable story from an opposite gender's pov. What I said was that my experience on Lit sais that too many can't make it work. I am very detail oriented, if something does not fit, I am not going to enjoy the story.

I am not talking about any specific authors. But on average it is easier to screw a story from the opposite gender pov than from your own. "Write what you know" -- ever heard this phrase? Some can break through it, many can't.

 

[Mei5ter]

I think Base10 understood perfectly well what you wrote, and you expressed it very clearly.

I agree with you that there are some stories on Lit where the author has created a character of a different gender who is really a projection of their wish-fulfilment rather than anyone believable. Equally, there is nothing uncommon about authors of all genres writing about things which go beyond what they ‘know’ or have experienced. JRR Tolkien managed fairly well (for the most part, although his female characters are pretty one-dimensional in my view) without ever forging a ring in a volcano.

I’ve read some stories on Lit which are accurate in the details but actually pretty dull, and some where a few liberties have been taken but which stimulate in all sorts of ways. And this isn’t confined to gender either. Why can’t subs try writing as doms for a change?

I suppose what I’m also wondering is: I’ve started sketching out a second story where the main character is female. If I publish it under my proper Lit name, which is the only one I’ve ever had here and whose AV accurately reflects my gender, you won’t read it. If I make up a female alt and call myself SophiaK, you might. I understand your reasons for that, and you’ve expressed them clearly. But if you read the story without seeing an author’s name until the end, would you react to it more positively or negatively according to whether the author claimed to be male or female?

Just wondering,

SophiaK