❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

The NSA has noted your comments.

The men in 1950s black suits will be arriving by helicopter shortly.

Well I do love a good theme/costume party. Especially when it is men heavy. I might have just the dress.

 

[Mei5ter]

Well I do love a good theme/costume party. Especially when it is men heavy. I might have just the dress.

Go on, Trinity. Let's have a look.

 

[Apisto42]

May the 11th, the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Twenty Three

Strings

Do you or have you ever preferred No Strings Attached play? How would you define those strings? Is it connection? Obligation? How do you negotiate that? Have you ever had a fun play only to find that one person wanted to include some strings and the other did not? Can NSA be empowering to you?

Always preferred. I already have an intense emotional relationship that takes all my capability to take care of.

I like the give and take of “my pussy is wet, talk to me (if you have time)”. That works for me.

 

[Orchidea73]

May the 11th, the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Twenty Three

Strings

Do you or have you ever preferred No Strings Attached play?

What do you mean by "play"?

 

[StillRain]

I only do strings. There’s always a fucking string with me.

 

[Booboobear84]

Aw thanks. And you haven't even heard my acceptable sampling plan or activity-based costing discourse yet.

Activity based costing? You're working my side of the street now.

 

[Booboobear84]

I only do strings. There’s always a fucking string with me.

Is that bikini top or the thong;-)

 

[jason28053]

I only do strings. There’s always a fucking string with me.

I’m a frayed Knot

 

[Orchidea73]

05.03.23

Let's have a sexier question!

Do you think you have what it takes to be a unicorn? No, not the mythical beast but could you be a third for another couple?

No.

Do threesomes interest you?

No, but I have experienced it. With another woman, never 2 men.

Would you find it difficult to keep emotions out of it?

I think that depends from various factors, which includes your partner too and the type of the threesome "relationship". It's not always a cut and dry situation. However, based on my experience, my issue was not emotions but the fact that the only pussy I like is mine.

What parts would you find most appealing?

The complicity between the two women.

Least appealing?

The pussy.

 

[Orchidea73]

I find it puzzling how many women list a threesome as something they want to try in the fuck-it list and audio thread...yet...they don't. I know that my 2nd wife always said this...and yet every time I would bring it up there was always a reason no. Finally, she just said it is a better fantasy than reality. She had a lot of FMF threesomes...but not a MFM. Or maybe she just lied like she did about everything else?

Just so many questions...

I don't think she was lying. I could be wrong, but I think FMF it is a bit safer for a woman. At least it feels so.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

May the 11th, the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Twenty Three

Strings

Do you or have you ever preferred No Strings Attached play? How would you define those strings? Is it connection? Obligation? How do you negotiate that? Have you ever had a fun play only to find that one person wanted to include some strings and the other did not? Can NSA be empowering to you?

I'm gonna answer this in two parts.
Real life. Last year I enjoyed a fun fwb experience. I'd been single for a long time (still am) and so I joined a dating app and matched with a guy. We both agreed there was no relationship wanted and we'd just get together when we were both free. It did actually work. No one caught feelings and I relearned that I do in fact still enjoy sex and want quite a lot of it! That's one of the things that brought me to Lit. The only reason things stopped is because I never have any free time so it just fizzled.
It gave me exactly what I needed at the time.

Online. Since joining here I have explored online connections shall we say. I try to always be honest and say that I also have other "friends" and I assume they will too because we're all a bunch of pervs. There were a few who wanted more than I was willing to give and those connections ended.

It is extremely empowering to me to have my fun and set my boundaries. To get attention after a long period of time with none has done absolute wonders for my confidence and general mental health.

 

[Paul_Chance]

May the 11th, the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Twenty Three

Strings

Do you or have you ever preferred No Strings Attached play? How would you define those strings? Is it connection? Obligation? How do you negotiate that? Have you ever had a fun play only to find that one person wanted to include some strings and the other did not? Can NSA be empowering to you?

Every human interaction, no matter how casual, has strings of some sort attached to it, just the value assigned to the string changes. Every human interaction incurs karma. With that awareness, I have enjoyed, and at times in my life have preferred, those relationships where the strings hold a "no" associated with them.

I don't think it's possible to have a human relationship where there are no strings, no obligations, no expectations. There are relationships where the strings have that no value associated with them. No, just because we're fucking, you don't have the right to tell me what to do. No, just because we're fucking doesn't mean I'm at your beck and call. No, just because we're fucking doesn't mean I'm not going to be fucking other people. No, just because we're fucking doesn't mean you have to stop fucking other people.

That said, sexual relationships where the strings have a lot of those no values associated with them, can be bring a lot of pleasure into your life, whether they're online or IRL or a mixture of both. A relationship with minimal expectations can be a great relationship and immensely empowering.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Every human interaction, no matter how casual, has strings of some sort attached to it, just the value assigned to the string changes. Every human interaction incurs karma. With that awareness, I have enjoyed, and at times in my life have preferred, those relationships where the strings hold a "no" associated with them.

I don't think it's possible to have a human relationship where there are no strings, no obligations, no expectations. There are relationships where the strings have that no value associated with them. No, just because we're fucking, you don't have the right to tell me what to do. No, just because we're fucking doesn't mean I'm at your beck and call. No, just because we're fucking doesn't mean I'm not going to be fucking other people. No, just because we're fucking doesn't mean you have to stop fucking other people.

That said, sexual relationships where the strings have a lot of those no values associated with them, can be bring a lot of pleasure into your life, whether they're online or IRL or a mixture of both. A relationship with minimal expectations can be a great relationship and immensely empowering.

Good points in here. One thing that seems like a basic expectation though is clear communication. If you're saying no, say no. If you're "playing the field " that should be clear. If you've changed your mind about the situation, say so. These are difficult conversations at times, but less so than the ones where one person expected X and thought that was agreed, and the other didn't.

And it's important to have those conversations and not just bump along assuming things will sort themselves. And not just brush them off if someone starts trying to have them.

Lit in particular presents special challenges with communication. It's easy to avoid difficult conversations by just, "not being available." It's easy to say one thing but do another. It's easy even to not really see the person behind the screen name.

I think too, in any relationship, whatever it may be, you should err on the side of kindness and compassion. You should be careful with them. This doesn't mean being a doormat. But it does mean considering their view of the situation too. Basic empathy.

I'm certainly not perfect. I think I tend to not push to have difficult conversations, even though I need to. I think I tend to assume that I'm interpreting things right when I really should ask. I think I tend to let things build up without expressing my frustrations or disappointments. I know I have a tendency to live in hope - this just a phase, they are having a bad day, etc. It will get better. Rather than saying "no."

I even do all of that at Lit from time to time. I certainly am guilty of it at home.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

05.17.23

When Things Take A Turn

How do you handle a situation when the conversation or interaction takes a turn for the worse? How do you eject out of situations you find uncomfortable or unwanted? Do you confront it head on, ghost, slow fade? Do you even feel like you can course correct a conversation and get it back into safe territory? Having had a bad interaction with someone, have you ever been able to salvage a pleasant acquaintance-ship?

 

[BongoGal]

How do you handle a situation when the conversation or interaction takes a turn for the worse?

I am going to pretend that you didn't ask such a question.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

05.17.23

When Things Take A Turn

How do you handle a situation when the conversation or interaction takes a turn for the worse?

I'd like to say I do, but mostly I handle by not. I am a giant wuss apparently.

How do you eject out of situations you find uncomfortable or unwanted? Do you confront it head on, ghost, slow fade?

mostly slow fade. Ignore it but speak less

Do you even feel like you can course correct a conversation and get it back into safe territory?

Sometimes, I do "bean dip" well and fast.

Having had a bad interaction with someone, have you ever been able to salvage a pleasant acquaintance-ship?

yes, I can easily do acquaintance-ship with anyone.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Sometimes, I do "bean dip" well and fast.

OK...I'll ask...what the fuck is "bean dip"?????

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

OK...I'll ask...what the fuck is "bean dip"?????

lol. Sorry, it is a term for changing the subject. Like when you have people over, and you don't like what they are saying, you can easily politely interrupt by offering refreshments and snacks. So don't like the conversation, grab the bowl of bean dip, but yourself in the middle, interrupting with "Bean dip. Bean dip anyone. Here, try the bean dip, it is really good" And now, you will notice when your wife does it, lol.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

05.17.23

When Things Take A Turn

How do you handle a situation when the conversation or interaction takes a turn for the worse?

This really depends so much on the situation. Is this conversation part of a longer relationship (of any kind, business, friendship, romantic), or just something with someone casual (e.g. a first conversation on Lit, or someone you chat up in a bar or at a wedding or something) where you can easily never see them again?
In the first case it's tough to eject casually. You can (and I have) done "slow fades" or total ghosting. But that doesn't work for some cases (marriage, coworker, boss, whatever). In those cases there are two approaches I've usually taken. The first is, suck it up. Maybe come back to later when you can better explain the issues to the person. The other is to confront it directly and forcefully. I've done both, depending on the situation. I'd say I get right about 1/2 the time.
In the second case, where it's more casual, my usual approach is "oh my, look a the time, I've gotta...." and then leave (or in the case of a wedding, "my drink is empty...").
Recently though, in some of these more casual situations, I've confronted them. Especially if others were invovled: no you can't spew that shit without us calling you on it. No, you can't say that to me, etc. Often it's less for my own defense than those around me. But sometimes it is.

I don't know if this is a good answer, but best I could do.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

lol. Sorry, it is a term for changing the subject. Like when you have people over, and you don't like what they are saying, you can easily politely interrupt by offering refreshments and snacks. So don't like the conversation, grab the bowl of bean dip, but yourself in the middle, interrupting with "Bean dip. Bean dip anyone. Here, try the bean dip, it is really good" And now, you will notice when your wife does it, lol.

Ah...my go to is, "So how about them Tigers???" LOL....

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Ah...my go to is, "So how about them Tigers???" LOL....

so dudes bean dip with sportsball. oh, that makes so much sense.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

so dudes bean dip with sportsball. oh, that makes so much sense.

I'm laughing because I am the worst "sportsball" guy ever. I have NO IDEA how the Tigers are doing. I really don't care. I'm not even sure it's the right season. I don't even follow sailing much anymore (I did for a while). But it always works. Because all the other guys will take it up.

 

[BongoGal]

I'm laughing because I am the worst "sportsball" guy ever. I have NO IDEA how the Tigers are doing. I really don't care. I'm not even sure it's the right season. I don't even follow sailing much anymore (I did for a while). But it always works. Because all the other guys will take it up.

What happens when your cover is blown? Do you switch to offering bean dip?

 

[lakesailer_mi]

What happens when your cover is blown? Do you switch to offering bean dip?

My cover is never blown. I am the king of nodding in wise agreement, or repeating a previously stated fact/opinion that applies still/again.
E.g. "OH my god, they suck this year." (nod with dissappointed face).
"Well, it's the pitching." (Ive heard this so...) "yeah, seems like a regular problem"
etc. etc.

I'm so good at this, I have actually fooled ESPN reporters.... (see my post in the thread random facts....which was inspired by this conversation).

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

05.17.23

When Things Take A Turn

How do you handle a situation when the conversation or interaction takes a turn for the worse? How do you eject out of situations you find uncomfortable or unwanted? Do you confront it head on, ghost, slow fade? Do you even feel like you can course correct a conversation and get it back into safe territory? Having had a bad interaction with someone, have you ever been able to salvage a pleasant acquaintance-ship?

It depends on how new the person is or how long the conversation has been going on. If we are newly talking and something makes me uncomfortable, I’ll bounce like a basketball. Sometimes, if I think it’s unintentionally gone off course, I’ll do a huge subject change trying to divert us back to safer waters.

I rarely just tell someone straight up they make me feel shitty, uncomfortable or unsafe but I will back away hands in the air. The only people I owe lots of explanation to is someone I’ve been talking to for a good long while.

Now there are people where for whatever reasons, something has gone off course. We’ve happily interacted in threads and then something just went wrong in one on one. I don’t know how to fix it without making it worse but I would at least like to go back to friendly banter. I think most people would say “Just communicate! Talk about it!” but I think it’s important to understand we all communicate differently and want different degrees of openness.

Speaking of course correcting, I don’t know how you recover once things have gone wonky. I’ll read everyone else’s answers and take notes!