❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

[Whiskeyjack]

05.17.23

When Things Take A Turn

How do you handle a situation when the conversation or interaction takes a turn for the worse? How do you eject out of situations you find uncomfortable or unwanted? Do you confront it head on, ghost, slow fade? Do you even feel like you can course correct a conversation and get it back into safe territory? Having had a bad interaction with someone, have you ever been able to salvage a pleasant acquaintance-ship?

I can think of one instance where a one-on-one Lit friendship turned sour, and it was fairly recently. I was at fault. The only way I was able to salvage at least a little bit of what we'd had was to recognize how I'd hurt that person, and then apologize profusely. Sometimes you just have to be willing to eat some crow. But for the right people and the right friendships it can be worth it. Even if things never get back to exactly the way they were.

 

[Mei5ter]

I think most people would say “Just communicate! Talk about it!”

I just ignore people who tell me that. With stony silence and a blank stare.

Seriously though? It's like telling two people in the middle of a divorce that they should just fix their relationship. Come on.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

05.17.23

When Things Take A Turn

How do you handle a situation when the conversation or interaction takes a turn for the worse? How do you eject out of situations you find uncomfortable or unwanted? Do you confront it head on, ghost, slow fade? Do you even feel like you can course correct a conversation and get it back into safe territory? Having had a bad interaction with someone, have you ever been able to salvage a pleasant acquaintance-ship?

It depends. If it’s someone I don’t really know or if I feel they’re an ass, I usually just stop replying. I’m leery when someone acts as if we are life long friends and gets clingy or offended if I don’t treat them as if we know a lot about each other. I feel this has happened more than expected and it’s uncomfortable and off-putting.

If it is someone I do know or I do like/ want to get to know, it’s harder to “eject” because I want to FIX it. I tend to keep addressing it or trying to make things better, much of the time it just makes things worse and worse. And worse. So then once I’ve dug myself a nice deep hole, then I’ll usually just cut my losses and disengage. If it really bothers me, I will just put the person on ignore so I don’t continue to embarrass myself.

There are a couple times when I genuinely have no idea what I did to upset a person. We will have been talking, everything is fine, and then I’m ghosted. The person is still posting, etc. but not responding to me asking and wondering what happened. I tried to FIX it again for a while by asking what I did, but after a while I just moved on.

I don’t like to leave things unfinished and untidy. But sometimes it’s just the way things are.

Once we’ve had a bad interaction, I can recover from some things. I’m forgiving and I want to move past the issue. But there have been times when someone said things that cut too deep, and we are finished—no looking back. But it takes a lot to get there for me.

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

May the 11th, the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Twenty Three

Strings

Do you or have you ever preferred No Strings Attached play? How would you define those strings? Is it connection? Obligation? How do you negotiate that? Have you ever had a fun play only to find that one person wanted to include some strings and the other did not? Can NSA be empowering to you?

Chemistry, connection, and vibing are fun and quite lovely. Thats where great sex comes from. I think you can have a regular or occasional thing without the iron-clad obligation that makes it not fun.

I think it's natural that if it's good you want to do it again. I've been on both ends of that.

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

05.17.23

When Things Take A Turn

How do you handle a situation when the conversation or interaction takes a turn for the worse? How do you eject out of situations you find uncomfortable or unwanted? Do you confront it head on, ghost, slow fade? Do you even feel like you can course correct a conversation and get it back into safe territory? Having had a bad interaction with someone, have you ever been able to salvage a pleasant acquaintance-ship?

Depends entirely on how bad the actual turn is. I've straight up told people off that have crossed a line. That's rare, though. Usually I'm all about talking things out.

 

[Dribble]

I can't read minds. 99.99% of the time I have no clue I crossed a "line". So what usually happens is I sense a change...and I back away immediately not really knowing what is going on assuming they don't know how to tell me.

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

05.17.23

When Things Take A Turn

How do you handle a situation when the conversation or interaction takes a turn for the worse? How do you eject out of situations you find uncomfortable or unwanted? Do you confront it head on, ghost, slow fade? Do you even feel like you can course correct a conversation and get it back into safe territory? Having had a bad interaction with someone, have you ever been able to salvage a pleasant acquaintance-ship?

I guess it just depends on why things went bad. Were they intentionally rude? Did they do something that makes me think negatively of them? Do they make me uncomfortable? Or are they just not interesting? If it's the latter, I'll do a slow fade. But any of the others, I'm usually just happy to tell them off and/or stop communication. More often than not, though, I find that my feelings are more often hurt unintentionally. As long as there are no bad motives, it is easy to forgive and move on.

 

[hotwords229_A]

05.17.23

When Things Take A Turn

How do you handle a situation when the conversation or interaction takes a turn for the worse? How do you eject out of situations you find uncomfortable or unwanted? Do you confront it head on, ghost, slow fade? Do you even feel like you can course correct a conversation and get it back into safe territory? Having had a bad interaction with someone, have you ever been able to salvage a pleasant acquaintance-ship?

Four simple words:

”I have explosive diarrhea!”

Those four words will get you out of anything no questions asked.

 

[Paul_Chance]

05.17.23

When Things Take A Turn

I'm going to answer these from the assumption that it is a relationship that I am trying to nurture, or that has been ongoing.

How do you handle a situation when the conversation or interaction takes a turn for the worse?

Depending on what happens to make that turn for the worse, I'll see if I can zero in on when it went bad, and then if I am at fault and it's appropriate, I'll offer a sincere apology. Then, I'll keep the conversation moving by getting off the sore subject. If it's something they can't/won't let go, I will be happy to explore it in depth with them. If they want to let it go, I'll let it go.

How do you eject out of situations you find uncomfortable or unwanted? Do you confront it head on, ghost, slow fade?

Assuming the above tactic isn't appropriate, I'll do a clean eject. Something like "I'm sorry we hit this impasse, but that behavior in unacceptable. I wish you all the best." I'm not a fan of the ghost or slow fade. (Sometimes conversations/relationships do take a slow fade, it happens, where things just taper off due to lack of interest in one or both parties.)

Do you even feel like you can course correct a conversation and get it back into safe territory?

Yeah, I can course correct most conversations, in person and online, usually through humor and being good natured. Some people are looking for online conflict. For them, I can't course correct (because they never intended it to go onto any other course than conflict). Them, I'll just say my piece and let it go.

Having had a bad interaction with someone, have you ever been able to salvage a pleasant acquaintance-ship?

I have, usually by humor, apologize, and move on.

Online, there are people who are seeking drama/conflict. For them, all I can really do is wish them the best and move on.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

05.19.23

What's something that you wish we talked about more about on Lit? What do you think we talk about too much, if anything?

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

05.19.23

What's something that you wish we talked about more about on Lit? What do you think we talk about too much, if anything?

Butt stuff.

Haha. Jk. Kinda. I wish we had more threads like this. I'm a sucker for a good conversation starter/question thread. It's a great way to really get to know how someone's mind works and to learn more about them than whether they would fuck the Litster above them.

Hmm. I'm not sure what we should talk less about. If I don't like something, it's easy enough to ignore it.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Butt stuff.

Haha. Jk. Kinda. I wish we had more threads like this. I'm a sucker for a good conversation starter/question thread. It's a great way to really get to know how someone's mind works and to learn more about them than whether they would fuck the Litster above them.

Hmm. I'm not sure what we should talk less about. If I don't like something, it's easy enough to ignore it.

https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExMDNhYWNkNjQ2ZmJkZjM4NjIwMzYwMzJiNTNjNjEzYzQwNjk1OGJiMSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZzX2dpZklkJmN0PWc/dexVp47FzF8Ot92U3b/giphy.gif

 

[lakesailer_mi]

05.19.23

What's something that you wish we talked about more about on Lit? What do you think we talk about too much, if anything?

Butt stuff.

Haha. Jk. Kinda. I wish we had more threads like this. I'm a sucker for a good conversation starter/question thread. It's a great way to really get to know how someone's mind works and to learn more about them than whether they would fuck the Litster above them.

Hmm. I'm not sure what we should talk less about. If I don't like something, it's easy enough to ignore it.

LMAO....I agree with Indie: Butt Stuff.
I don't know that I have really any complaints. I do enjoy this thread, and agree with Indie, I like to get to know people a bit. Thanks @PrettyLilPussy19 !

I think sometimes people take stuff too seriously, and get a little bent out of shape about things that maybe aren't that big a deal. I've been around Lit for years, and the little tiffs, sometimes it feels like Middle School (or high school). I think too, some people say stupid things. It's a place where filters come off, but maybe not all filters should??? If that makes sense?

But, yeah, "Butt Stuff".... @Indiesoul , any time you want to talk butt stuff.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

((Am I date mining this thread for future topics?? No comment. Keep posting!))

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

05.19.23

What's something that you wish we talked about more about on Lit? What do you think we talk about too much, if anything?

Hum, this is not such an easy question. It seems we talk about everything and anything on Lit. Also, if we want to talk about something, we can just go make it happen. I did really miss hearing people talk, talk about anything and everything, so I finally decided to make it happen. It is a little harder to recruit than I expected, given most people are happy to talk about themselves I thought it would be easy, but damn it, I am making it happen. As for what we talk about too much, well my knee jerk answer is politics, but that really isn't true, as if there are still two people who want to talk about something, then it clearly isn't too much. It can only be too much when there is no one left.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Hum, this is not such an easy question. It seems we talk about everything and anything on Lit. Also, if we want to talk about something, we can just go make it happen. I did really miss hearing people talk, talk about anything and everything, so I finally decided to make it happen. It is a little harder to recruit than I expected, given most people are happy to talk about themselves I thought it would be easy, but damn it, I am making it happen. As for what we talk about too much, well my knee jerk answer is politics, but that really isn't true, as if there are still two people who want to talk about something, then it clearly isn't too much. It can only be too much when there is no one left.

Sorry, I need to go post again there, I will. I promise.

 

[Paul_Chance]

05.19.23

What's something that you wish we talked about more about on Lit? What do you think we talk about too much, if anything?

Well, I thought about this one and couldn't really come up with anything. There is a lot of variation here on Lit, threads for pretty much anything and everything. If you come onto Lit and talk about pretty much anything, someone will respond, sometimes flippantly, sometimes with excellent insights and humor. If it's a conversation that doesn't interest me, I just wander over to a different thread.

There is a Catch-22 built in there though. It's not about how much we talk about things, but I wish that people would pay a little more attention to the thread topics themselves and stay on thread. I call it a Catch-22 because often enough the diversions are as interesting or more interesting that the original thread. So, in Paul's Perfect World, if someone wants to divert a thread - I wish they'd just start another thread and talk about the subject they want to talk about, rather then thread-jacking.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

05.19.23

What's something that you wish we talked about more about on Lit?

E-boning, specifically how people are doing it. Can we get some tutorials?

What do you think we talk about too much, if anything?

probably jokes among friends get pretty annoying to other people who dont care. Im guilty of this.

 

[Dribble]

E-boning, specifically how people are doing it. Can we get some tutorials?

I can't read...so I hope they decided to do a video...but I think this is a great idea.

 

[Mei5ter]

E-boning, specifically how people are doing it. Can we get some tutorials?

Your inbox exploded with offers of private tuition, didn't it?

Oh, and I'm old school. The carrier pigeon is still in transit.

 

[Nightspeed]

05.03.21

Are you a jealous person? Do you get envious over some things and not others? Do you ever like being the object of someone's jealousy?

I am late to this thread but this question resonates hard with me. Back in the distant days of the 1980s, I reconnected with a friend from high school and we started seeing each other. Her jealousy and possessiveness were utterly out of control. She would sit outside my college classrooms to make sure I wasn't talking to a female classmate. We would have epic, screaming fights about it every damned day. That's not an exaggeration. Then we'd have epic screaming sex. Hell, we even had an argument while fucking once.

But then she dumped me. This caused the first of two complete breakdowns in my life. I wanted her back so badly I slipped into psychosis, and boy, that was fun. I eventually crawled out of that abyss and vowed that I would never, ever again be with a jealous person and I certainly would never be one. And I have succeeded. I am not a jealous person at all. If my partner has been with one or one hundred people before me, I don't care. I actually love talking about sex with exes. It was a huge turn on for my last girlfriend. But no more jealousy. The one or two people I've been with since then who started acting that way would trigger my PTSD and I'd have to stop seeing them.

 

[Dribble]

I can't read...so I hope they decided to do a video...but I think this is a great idea.

God Dribble...that's a great idea...I will send you the full version so you can help with editing.

Just doing my small part for Lit PLP...glad to help you anytime

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

05.24.23

Just the Facts, Ma’am

So @OrdinaryPerson wants to talk about play/eboning/cybering/camcumming etc. So let’s do that and damnit! Invite your friends to this one. I need to compare these results to the survey from last year. For the sake of brevity, I will refer to it as play but you can use any word you like to describe your techsex.

Do you play at all? If no, why not?
Who do you play with (be as vague or as detailed as you’d like)?
How do you prefer to play? If text, do you keep it in PMs or move onto something like Skype? If audio, do you call or send audio clips? If cam, do you like to watch, be watched or both?
When do you find the time? Does someone’s schedule prevent them from playing with you even though you’d both be happy to get down if the time was right?
What makes for a good play partner?
Do you negotiate the play or just fall into it naturally?
Whose online activities are you curious about the most?
What makes it good? What makes it bad?
How do you make it happen, if you want to?

 

[Wriggle]

Do you play at all? If no, why not?
Who do you play with (be as vague or as detailed as you’d like)?
How do you prefer to play? If text, do you keep it in PMs or move onto something like Skype? If audio, do you call or send audio clips? If cam, do you like to watch, be watched or both?
When do you find the time? Does someone’s schedule prevent them from playing with you even though you’d both be happy to get down if the time was right?
What makes for a good play partner?
Do you negotiate the play or just fall into it naturally?
Whose online activities are you curious about the most?
What makes it good? What makes it bad?
How do you make it happen, if you want to?

I like to do text based kink encouragement by pm. I interact with few women on twitter in different timezones - a shy European, a slutty Aussie, a Californian wannabe porn star, a German professional prostitute, a French nudist, etc.
They're all great "play partners.
This means I can usually get sex talk going whenever I'm available, plus the nature of my job means I can pop online regularly to play.
We have all began our online relationships by just talking about each others posts, before it starts to get erotic or sexy.
I think it's great - I can be edging and dripping precum for days playing these games.
I suppose the only negative is we will never do these roleplays in real life.

 

[MrsPassion]

Do you play at all? If no, why not?

I do! Not a lot and not particularly often but if the right person comes along.

Who do you play with (be as vague or as detailed as you’d like)?

Saying “anyone” feels misleading but I have no set list of criteria outside of no strangers or people I’ve never had any interaction with. And there has to be a pretty solid connection. The people I have played with, I count amongst my friends (as in we can chat platonically. Not my exact group of friends on here ) I’ve had run ins with overly complicated situationships and I prefer to avoid those clingy types.

How do you prefer to play? If text, do you keep it in PMs or move onto something like Skype? If audio, do you call or send audio clips? If cam, do you like to watch, be watched or both?

PM or Skype typically, I prefer Snapchat though But Skype is really reserved for those who I know pretty well (like 4k messages is the minimum) call and send audios depending on the mood. Don’t cam but that’s mostly logistics rather than a preference.

When do you find the time? Does someone’s schedule prevent them from playing with you even though you’d both be happy to get down if the time was right?

I work an extremely flexible schedule so I can always make time if the mood strikes. But often other folks have pretty strict schedules they stick to. I find being the flexible partner takes the stress away from scheduling and as long as it doesn’t impede on things I need to focus on, I’m usually available whenever. Yes, there’s one person in particular who my schedule never matches up with. It’s frustrating.

What makes for a good play partner?

I take peoples privacy seriously so I’d say discretion, both ways. While I’m not shy or ashamed about what I’m doing I recognize the delicate ecosystem that exist here and some folks don’t have the same approach to online play that I do. It’s best if everyone can keep their wits about them and respect each others right to privacy. Great communicators are also best, if they can describe in great detail touches, sensations, etc. Imaginative partners as well, we don’t have to be in our beds or wherever we are physically. Why can’t we be on a train, or sneaking off during a museum tour? Imagination makes excellent e-boning play.

Do you negotiate the play or just fall into it naturally?

Depends on the context of play. If it’s more geared towards some of my/their kinky desires negotiations and talking about limits is a must. There’s no wiggling out of that. Safe, sane, and consenting play. If it’s more vanilla then I prefer things to progress naturally. Though I’m quick to let someone know if I’m not interested if they start down that path.

Whose online activities are you curious about the most?

No one’s! I mind my damn business to quote Megan Thee Stallion “It really ain’t my business what you do with other women!”

What makes it good?

playfulness, flirting, descriptive imagination, great chemistry.

What makes it bad?

Mouth breathing, rudeness, pushing for nudes/ or pushing folks limits and against boundaries.

How do you make it happen, if you want to?

Mmm, usually conversation takes a teasing turn and one of us throws down a gauntlet per se. and if it’s picked up and matched we proceed to have fun. or for long time play partners it exist there as a steady undercurrent in every conversation.