❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

[PrettyLilPussy19]

01.18.25

How important is it to you to be liked by others? Do you consider yourself generally likeable? What's more important that being liked? What's less important? Does it bother you when you sense someone doesn't like you? Do you strive to change their mind? Does how your likability matters change depending on the person (i.e. do you want one type of person to like you more than another)? How have your feelings on this changed as you've gotten older?

Hello question inspired by therapy

I think I'm a pretty likable person when I want to be (and that's the key). I supposed I prefer people to like me vs not but the effort I've put into making people like me has waned as I've gotten older. I like people who are just themselves and why wouldn't I want to be liked for just being myself?

I can also admit that I'm not for everyone. I'm silly. I always play devil's advocate. I talk too much and think too much and am rarely happy to settle instead of grow or change. I think the only time someone not liking me bothers me is when their opinion of me is based on one side of a story or what they heard about me instead of their own interactions but then do I want to be liked by someone who does that? Maybe. That's a thinker.

I'd prefer someone to respect me or be kind to me more than like me. (It's like the old debate of would you rather be around someone kind or someone "nice" or "sweet" because one certainly doesn't equal the other.) What's less important than being liked? Hmm someone agreeing with me. I'd prefer a nice debate than a yes man.

I'd prefer the people I respect and like to like and respect me. Is there any better compliment than someone who you think is really smart telling you that they think YOU'RE smart! What! Yes! That's the absolute best feeling.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

01.18.25

How important is it to you to be liked by others?

I don't need everyone to like me. In fact too much attention stresses me out. But if I care about someone then yes it is important.

Do you consider yourself generally likeable?

I think so? I try really hard to be kind, a good listener, open minded etc but I'm not a naturally confident or outgoing person and sometimes I keep myself closed off - like when my mental health is bad.

What's more important that being liked? What's less important?

I think it's important to just be true to yourself and not try to fit into a persona that you might think is more socially desirable.

I am a huge overthinker and this week I have actually really struggled with wondering if people actually "like" me (anxiety brain) but I think the truth is probably more that I never know if I'm doing things right. The joke I made - was it funny or was I being humoured. The questions I ask - do people not want to tell me to back off?

But ultimately all I can be is me. I can't fake character attributes to try and win popularity points and I wouldn't want to either.

Does it bother you when you sense someone doesn't like you?

If it's someone I like then yes absolutely. I'm annoyingly sensitive to vibe changes and if I think they're off with people I'd thought I was close with then it sends me into a huge spiral, wondering how to fix it again.

Does how your likability matters change depending on the person (i.e. do you want one type of person to like you more than another)?

I just want the people I like to like me

How have your feelings on this changed as you've gotten older?

I'd want to think I'm too mature to worry about things I can't control but I do. It's maybe because I'm quite a solitary person by nature so if I reach out and try and make a friend and I value it more than them - it happens - then it really affects me because I am always all in with a friendship and want that person to be the same.

I've also gone through a lot of therapy and had experiences of being badly hurt by people I trust so my spidey sense is off. I know I'm insecure and a pleaser. I worry that if I make myself unavailable for even a day then I'll be forgotten about.
It's exhausting living in my brain

 

[Neanderthal247]

01.18.25

How important is it to you to be liked by others?

Not important to me at all

Do you consider yourself generally likeable?

On Lit, not so much.

In person, almost everyone likes me.

What's more important that being liked?

Being respected

What's less important?

People I don't respect

Does it bother you when you sense someone doesn't like you?

Not at all 

Do you strive to change their mind?

No, for what ?
Just be yourself, if they like you it's cool, if they don't it doesn’t matter

Does how your likability matters change depending on the person (i.e. do you want one type of person to like you more than another)?

Only if it's a woman I want, but I won't change unless, I feel I was wrong about an issue.

How have your feelings on this changed as you've gotten older?

In a way, I didn't care much and now I care even less lol

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I am a huge overthinker and this week I have actually really struggled with wondering if people actually "like" me (anxiety brain) but I think the truth is probably more that I never know if I'm doing things right. The joke I made - was it funny or was I being humoured. The questions I ask - do people not want to tell me to back off?

Very relatable. I think the idea that I'm just being humored or tolerated is one I constantly struggle with. But honestly, if we talk everyday and you're just tolerating me? Work on those boundaries

If it's someone I like then yes absolutely. I'm annoyingly sensitive to vibe changes and if I think they're off with people I'd thought I was close with then it sends me into a huge spiral, wondering how to fix it again.

Lol are we the same person? Being an empath is the pits sometimes.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

But honestly, if we talk everyday and you're just tolerating me?

That's a fair point actually. If people regularly show up for me then I shouldn't need to question why should I?

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

 

[StacyLeigh]

01.18.25

How important is it to you to be liked by others? Do you consider yourself generally likeable? What's more important that being liked? What's less important? Does it bother you when you sense someone doesn't like you? Do you strive to change their mind? Does how your likability matters change depending on the person (i.e. do you want one type of person to like you more than another)? How have your feelings on this changed as you've gotten older?

Being liked isn't something I really give much thought to. I feel as though it's ok for not everyone or anyone in particular to like me - as being myself is far more important. Rather than being liked, I strive to be authentic, accountable, and trusted. If someone believes that I am not one of those 3 things it hurts far more than just not being liked. That being said, I do appreciate when someone finds me favorable - namely a partner or a employer

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

The above answer is something that has been true for me for as long as I can recall. Besides that, my sarcasm, bluntness, and lip-biting when nervous have stood the test of time.

 

[Neanderthal247]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

Great question, because I am almost completely different now. I'd say in 3 ways:

Me and my sisters would never tell on each other, when threatened with all of us accepting a punishment. We knew who did it, but just accepted the punishment. This remains true to this day, it's a moral issue that shows inner strength.

Giving people food, drinks and money, when you see someone less fortunate. That's something I still do to this day, it was done during childhood.


Wanting to be a savoir to women and old people, helping out when you see someone in true need. Holding the door open, giving up my seat, helping someone with their bags etc.etc

 

[Whiskeyjack]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

I was a terrible procrastinator as a kid.
I still am. Now I just do it more.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

I think at my core I'm still the same. Just with more existential dread

I daydream and procrastinate. I'm curious and quiet.

Yeah I'm achey and tired now but I'm always hopeful - despite my brains' many attempts to rid that from itself

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

• I've loved a good mystery from the start - thanks Nancy Drew!
• I've always been funny and been drawn to other funny folks.
• Loved writing. I wrote and illustrated a book at 9. It was a real best seller in my family.
• I've always been a see both sides of the coin, devil's advocate type, always to my own detriment.
• Self depreciating from birth - I was an 11lb baby! I needed my defenses!
• Loved a good list.

 

[hotwords229_A]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

I’m a good sleeper.
I smile a lot.
I eat what I’m served.
I love being around dogs.
I don’t mind playing by myself (or with myself for that matter )
I love being outside.
I am generally good humored. (But don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry )

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Do you consider yourself generally likeable?

I try to be kind and encouraging and to treat other people the way I want to be treated. I try to acknowledge and apologize when I fail. I try to bring humor to my interactions. However, I'm introverted and a bit socially anxious, which can come off to others as being aloof. But generally, yes.

What's more important than being liked?

I think that being true to myself and those I care about is more important than being liked.

What's less important?

Holding on to petty grudges. Needing to be right all the time. Needing to point out mistakes or inaccuracies.

Does it bother you when you sense someone doesn't like you?

It all depends on the person. If it's someone I like and respect, whose opinions matter to me, then yes. If I dislike and/or don't respect the person, I couldn't care less.

Do you strive to change their mind?

If it's someone I like, I might look at our past interactions to try and figure out why they don't like me. If I think there was a miscommunication or misunderstanding, I might reach out and try to correct it. Otherwise, no.

Does how your likability matters change depending on the person (i.e. do you want one type of person to like you more than another)?

The type of people I want to really like me are the ones with whom I feel like a real friendship could develop, more than just interacting on the boards or in the office. The kind of people I consider kindred spirits.

How have your feelings on this changed as you've gotten older?

My feelings on this have remained pretty consistent throughout my life.

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

There are both positive and negative things that have remained unchanged about me.

Negative

- Social anxiety​

- Crying too easily​

- Stubbornness​

​

Positive

- Love for music, dancing, and singing​

- Curiosity and love of learning​

- Love for animals and interest in their health and behavior​

 

[NRJLIVES4ever]

01.18.25

How important is it to you to be liked by others?

Truthfully I don't give it that much thought really. You like me or you don't.

Do you consider yourself generally likeable?

Yes. Also fuckable.

What's more important that being liked?

Being loved by the people that are important.

What's less important?

popularity contests.

Does it bother you when you sense someone doesn't like you?

Depends on who it is. But usually no.

Do you strive to change their mind?

Nah.

Does how your likability matters change depending on the person (i.e. do you want one type of person to like you more than another)?

The facsist element I usually don't get along with. I'm perfectly okay with that.

How have your feelings on this changed as you've gotten older?

As I get older I care a lot less about this kind if stuff.

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

There's an inherent goodness that I got from watching PBS shows and reading Superman comics growing up that left a positive impression on me that has lasted into my adult years. I talk a mean game about "I don't care if people like me" but if you're in my orbit and truly one of my people you're in good hands.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

What is "too easily"? Crying, to me, suggests that you feel things deeply, care about things, and that your feelings are close to the surface rather than hidden ayway. I don't see any of that as being negative.

I see crying too easily as a negative, because I've usually received negative feedback about it throughout my life. The crying can be prompted by sadness, empathy, frustration, disappointment, and embarrassment. The negative feedback comes primarily when the crying is due to one of the last three reasons. Then the crying itself can lead to further frustration, disappointment in myself, and embarrassment.

 

[MrMakersMark]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

I'm pretty shy and mostly quiet.

 

[cascadiabound]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

Curiosity and love of reading

 

[StillRain]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

That I hate public speaking.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

• I’m still a voracious reader (taking my books away was how I was punished as a kid because otherwise sending me to my room or grounding me was still fun )
• I’m still very aware of how fortunate I am and ensure I donate time, goods, money, and skills to those less fortunate (going to people’s houses to drop off food and gifts is one of my earliest memories)
• I don’t mind being the occasional center of attention, but I still prefer being backstage to being in the spotlight on stage (I have fond memories of all the backstage stuff and no desire to be the one performing in front of people which is exactly how I feel now about work stuff)
• I am not competitive with anyone other than myself (I remember being a bit relieved when I got injured and couldn’t compete because I was happy doing the thing/sport for enjoyment and the company and disliked meets, tournaments, games, etc.)

 

[Indie]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

I'm sensitive. Soft-hearted. I care too much. I give too much. I'm a lot. I'm not bragging here. These are things that I don't like about myself. Every day these are the things that hurt me. I wish I could be less.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

-- but I'm always hopeful --

This is beautiful. Never lose it!

I eat what I’m served.

This is actually a really good one and speaks to affable unpretentiousness that I love about you.

I see crying too easily as a negative, because I've usually received negative feedback about it throughout my life. The crying can be prompted by sadness, empathy, frustration, disappointment, and embarrassment. The negative feedback comes primarily when the crying is due to one of the last three reasons. Then the crying itself can lead to further frustration, disappointment in myself, and embarrassment.

I know what you mean by this Ang and I hate crying too. I feel like I've done more of it since 2020 that I did in the whole rest of my life. The angry tears are the worst.

That I hate public speaking.

This surprises me!

• I am not competitive with anyone other than myself

OMG I am the same way! I am the only person I want to be better than. Luckily the sports bug missed me bc I can see how that would have made me a little obsessive.

I'm sensitive. Soft-hearted. I care too much. I give too much. I'm a lot. I'm not bragging here. These are things that I don't like about myself. Every day these are the things that hurt me. I wish I could be less.

Me too girly. Too much. But don't make yourself less or smaller. Settling for less never made anyone happier just more boring

 

[MindYaBitness]

• I am not competitive with anyone other than myself (I remember being a bit relieved when I got injured and couldn’t compete because I was happy doing the thing/sport for enjoyment and the company and disliked meets, tournaments, games, etc.)

Me too. I don't care what someone else's best, I'm competing for my personal best. Truly competitive, sportsing-type folks never understand this!

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I am generally good humored. (But don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry )

And what makes Muscles angry?

I see crying too easily as a negative, because I've usually received negative feedback about it throughout my life. The crying can be prompted by sadness, empathy, frustration, disappointment, and embarrassment. The negative feedback comes primarily when the crying is due to one of the last three reasons. Then the crying itself can lead to further frustration, disappointment in myself, and embarrassment.

The angry tears are the worst.

I pretty much only cry when I’m extremely angry or frustrated and it’s the worst. It’s the opposite of the emotion I want to express…which just makes me embarrassed, angrier, and more frustrated…and therefore more tearful. It’s a vicious cycle.

I’m thankful I don’t get truly angry that often!

Me too. I don't care what someone else's best, I'm competing for my personal best. Truly competitive, sportsing-type folks never understand this!

Yes! I don’t get into the sportsing either and the zero fucks I give when someone tries to compete with me in almost any way just confuses people

 

[Wand3rlust]

01.25.25

What is one thing that has remained unchanged about you since you were a child? We all learn and grow and change but what has stayed with you throughout all the years?

My ability to chameleon. I can fit in with almost anyone, anywhere. I always have. I can make friends easily. And that sounds like it could be insincere. But it isn't.

 

[hotwords229_A]

And what makes Muscles angry?

That a Hulk from a 1970’s tv show looks a million times better than the cartoon ones in movies today.

Grrrrrr!