Ask Doctor Liz ... Again

[FranklyFrank]

Silly, you mis-spelled boner.

All that pride you're feeling must be swelling the wrong head! You're probably overdue for another "adjustment"

You are always sooo good about reading between the lines. Thank you for the correction. I have been pent up and very busy so yes, I am way overdue for another adjustment!

 

[JamesD_0117]

Then that means my plan is working ....

And, as I suspected, you are a pervert.

But in a positive, healthy way.

Good news! I'm not going to try to cure you. Instead I want to help you find your Self and your True Kink (TK).

However, it will take time, many, many appointments, commitment on your part and willingness to do absolutely everything that I say always and without question.

Because having faith in the healing process is just as important as actually being healed

Good. Because it’s about damn time someone has told me that something is NOT wrong with me!

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

Doc Liz…

I think I got Cat Scratch Fever…

…the first time that I got it
I was just ten years old
I got it from some kitty next door
And I went and seen the doctor
And he gave me the cure
I think I got it some more…

The ”cure” didn’t take then, I think I need a second opinion?

 

[thefishfryer]

Dear Balanced, Centered and Calm,

Hmmm, idk. Perhaps we can use this powerful self-awareness you seem to have to get down to the real issue.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad do you want to fuck me?

- Doctor "You Skipped A Question On Your New Patient Form" Liz

My scale goes up to eleven!

 

[LizVegas79]

Good. Because it’s about damn time someone has told me that something is NOT wrong with me!

Well, I haven't done a full examination yet. But so far I don't see anything wrong with you. Take off your pants so I can have a closer look.

Yep, just as I suspected you're perfectly fine and healthy.

Oh and look! You're getting healthier by the second too! Oh my! Hi there!

 

[LizVegas79]

Doc Liz…

I think I got Cat Scratch Fever…

…the first time that I got it
I was just ten years old
I got it from some kitty next door
And I went and seen the doctor
And he gave me the cure
I think I got it some more…

The ”cure” didn’t take then, I think I need a second opinion?

Dear Feverish,

I've seen this condition before. A lot of guys just don't know how to talk to kitties.

Here, talk to mine. Tell her everything. She's all warmed up and eager to listen.


- Doctor "Talk To My Kitty" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

"We're a little busy today, so if you tell me where it hurts and promise not to
tell Doctor Liz, maybe I'll kiss it and try to make it feel all better. Okay?"

 

[LizVegas79]

"Let me guess. My receptionist already kissed it and made it feel all better didn't she?"

 

[thefishfryer]

"We're a little busy today, so if you tell me where it hurts and promise not to
tell Doctor Liz, maybe I'll kiss it and try to make it feel all better. Okay?"

Sorry, I thought you said you were a little busty today. I was going to say they look just the right size to me.

 

[thefishfryer]

"Let me guess. My receptionist already kissed it and made it feel all better didn't she?"

I think it may still need a massage to relieve the swelling?

 

[FranklyFrank]

"Let me guess. My receptionist already kissed it and made it feel all better didn't she?"

But she said it was just a little pre treatment to get me prepared for my full appointment with you!

 

[FranklyFrank]

Dear Dr. WiseAboutTheseThings,

A friend of mine is shopping around for a suitable ankle bracelet for his hotwife but needs help with the selection. Could you suggest something that is appropriately tasteful and yet leaves no question about the fact that she is indeed a hotwife?

Signed,
Trying to help a buddy out

 

[JamesD_0117]

Well, I haven't done a full examination yet. But so far I don't see anything wrong with you. Take off your pants so I can have a closer look.

Yep, just as I suspected you're perfectly fine and healthy.

Oh and look! You're getting healthier by the second too! Oh my! Hi there!

OMG! You and your staff are miracle workers! So this was all “touch-free” therapy! I think there’s probably more tests to be done, right?

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

Dear Feverish,

I've seen this condition before. A lot of guys just don't know how to talk to kitties.

Here, talk to mine. Tell her everything. She's all warmed up and eager to listen.


- Doctor "Talk To My Kitty" Liz

As I warm up my vocal cords…

…I can make a kitty purr
With the stroke of my hand…

…And they know just where to go
When they need their lovin' man
They know I'm doin' it for free…

She seems to be drooling a tad (hides the Catnip) ((Life hack there kids when playing with New/Unfamiliar kitty’s))

I think she’s ready to listen now!

 

[LizVegas79]

Sorry, I thought you said you were a little busty today. I was going to say they look just the right size to me.

Me too!

I think it may still need a massage to relieve the swelling?

Well, okay. But only to put to bed those nasty rumors about this all being touch-free therapy!

For the record, NOTHING could be further from the truth!

OMG! You and your staff are miracle workers! So this was all “touch-free” therapy! I think there’s probably more tests to be done, right?

Waaaaaaaaaaay more tests.

Only by seeing how it reacts to various outfits and different physical stimuli can I get down to the real root of any problem you might be having. Ask around, I'm very thorough.

Now be a good boy, take off your pants, hop up on my exam bed and lay back for me. I need to test your EQ (Ejaculation Quotient) next by seeing if I can make you hit the ceiling.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Dear Gambled But Lost,

Mmm, that's a toughie. It's never easy. But you can make it fun while you're on the mend.

It's a little different for everyone but I will say this, first and foremost be good to yourself, don't blame yourself unless it really was your fault, and lastly, step back up to that craps table of life and don't be afraid to roll the dice again!

In other words,

#1 - Chocolate. Alternating between your long time favorite go to's and experimenting with a few new combos or flavors for as long as it takes.

# 2 - Make some Me Time. And I don't just mean sit in front of the TV by yourself feeling sorry for yourself (that only works for like two weeks, tops). No, I mean go somewhere special. Somewhere you've been wanting to go. But don't torture yourself and go somewhere romantic alone. No, I mean go somewhere nice. With or without friends. Camping, hiking, skiing or just travel somewhere you've been wanting to go. Anywhere with amusement rides would be my top suggestion. Zip lines, roller coasters, scuba diving, anything that pushes you a little beyond your comfort zone. Going on a thrill ride reminds us afterwards that we are stronger than we thought. That's the best therapy. Reminding your Body, Heart and Mind that you are going to be okay.

#3 - Fuck around a little or a lot. Someone a long time ago told me that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. It doesn't always work the first time. But usually by the third time or so it's easier to let go and start looking forward to finding someone new and even better. By the fifth time or so you may start doubting that they're out there. But by the tenth time or so you start needing it to be true so you make it true.

Let me know how it's going. Or talk about how it's going with somebody else.


- Doctor "Broken Hearts Are My Specialty" Liz

Dear Dr. Liz:
It's been a while since we talked. I have been taking better care of myself.
I am feeling better.
So how do I get on Yelp to let people know how wonderful you are?

"Big fan" Litster

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr. WiseAboutTheseThings,

A friend of mine is shopping around for a suitable ankle bracelet for his hotwife but needs help with the selection. Could you suggest something that is appropriately tasteful and yet leaves no question about the fact that she is indeed a hotwife?

Signed,
Trying to help a buddy out

Dear Helpful Friend,

First of all, I just have to ask, how close exactly are you to this buddy of yours and his hot wife? If you're really, REALLY close I suggest YOU be the one who buys her the ankle bracelet and give it to her in front of him.

If you're not as close as you would like to be, I still suggest YOU buy the ankle bracelet, but instead of giving it directly to her, give it to him in front of her.

If stirring the pot a little isn't your thing, then do it your way and just give him your advice.

Second, if she's light skinned I would suggest going with gold. If she has a darker complexion then silver is a better contrast imho.

Lastly, I love subtlety. But I also love sending a clear message. If this guy is proud of his hot wife and wants to show her off to others then I suggest an ankle bracelet WITH the words HOT WIFE stamped or written into the design like this >>>

If he wants to be a little more subtle than that, then an ankle bracelet with one or more little keys dangling from it. Is it the key to your heart? The key to your cock cage? Or the keys to the hearts or cock cages of all her rando admirers? There's no wrong answer. It sends the right message to everyone because they read into it what THEY want to.

If he's not so thrilled about sharing her with others, then I would suggest either a simple plain ankle bracelet, or one that simply says HOT because everyone will fill in the second word in their own minds. If nothing else, it will be a conversation starter then next time she's bouncing her knee off her leg or dangling a shoe in public.

Please report back and let us know how you decided to impart these pearls of wisdom to your friend and what happened next!


- Doctor "Free Fashion Advice Is Always Included For Free" Liz


(btw - if either of you find a two-for-one sale you can send the second one to me because my husband will probably never be so brave to buy me a hot wife anklet himself - but I would love the look on his face the first time he notices me wearing it! )

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr. Liz:
It's been a while since we talked. I have been taking better care of myself.
I am feeling better.
So how do I get on Yelp to let people know how wonderful you are?

"Big fan" Litster

Dear Big Fan,

I'm so glad to hear that Azul. Yaaay for you sweetie!

As far as I know I don't have a presence on Yelp. So far, all my business has cum from word of my mouth (and word of JJ's mouth too of course!)


- Doctor "I'm Scared To Start Advertising" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

But she said it was just a little pre treatment to get me prepared for my full appointment with you!

Oh well if it was a medically required pre-treatment, or an emergency, then that's perfectly fine.

 

[fire_breeze]

Dear Dr Liz,

I'm bored because working 60+hours is apparently not enough and I'm actually thinking and seriously contemplating about getting another degree to duplicate the letters after my name--despite my previous one almost sapping my sanity

But I really want to be a super-villain and take over the world.

Should I follow my dreams or get a goldfish?

Signed,
I should not make decisions when bored

 

[JamesD_0117]

Waaaaaaaaaaay more tests.

Only by seeing how it reacts to various outfits and different physical stimuli can I get down to the real root of any problem you might be having. Ask around, I'm very thorough.

Now be a good boy, take off your pants, hop up on my exam bed and lay back for me. I need to test your EQ (Ejaculation Quotient) next by seeing if I can make you hit the ceiling.

There’s not a lot of people who look forward to more testing. But I’ve found that discovering problems can be a relief.

And I am relieved to take off my pants for this next test…

 

[investor2020]

Dr. Liz: "I appreciate the rose, perv. But as a new patient, crawl over here and submit appropriately."

 

[FranklyFrank]

Dear Helpful Friend,

First of all, I just have to ask, how close exactly are you to this buddy of yours and his hot wife? If you're really, REALLY close I suggest YOU be the one who buys her the ankle bracelet and give it to her in front of him.

If you're not as close as you would like to be, I still suggest YOU buy the ankle bracelet, but instead of giving it directly to her, give it to him in front of her.

If stirring the pot a little isn't your thing, then do it your way and just give him your advice.

Second, if she's light skinned I would suggest going with gold. If she has a darker complexion then silver is a better contrast imho.

Lastly, I love subtlety. But I also love sending a clear message. If this guy is proud of his hot wife and wants to show her off to others then I suggest an ankle bracelet WITH the words HOT WIFE stamped or written into the design like this >>>

If he wants to be a little more subtle than that, then an ankle bracelet with one or more little keys dangling from it. Is it the key to your heart? The key to your cock cage? Or the keys to the hearts or cock cages of all her rando admirers? There's no wrong answer. It sends the right message to everyone because they read into it what THEY want to.

If he's not so thrilled about sharing her with others, then I would suggest either a simple plain ankle bracelet, or one that simply says HOT because everyone will fill in the second word in their own minds. If nothing else, it will be a conversation starter then next time she's bouncing her knee off her leg or dangling a shoe in public.

Please report back and let us know how you decided to impart these pearls of wisdom to your friend and what happened next!


- Doctor "Free Fashion Advice Is Always Included For Free" Liz


(btw - if either of you find a two-for-one sale you can send the second one to me because my husband will probably never be so brave to buy me a hot wife anklet himself - but I would love the look on his face the first time he notices me wearing it! )

Dear Dr. Fashionista,

Sad to say I have not bought a hotwife anklet for some years now. But it was the stamped hotwife anklet I chose for my wife when we began our hotwife/stag journey back then.

I greatly appreciate your input. The anklets you show are pretty much the same ones I have found. But, because I was asked to suggest something for them because of my experiences, I was trying to find something more unique, more individualized so that it would have an immediate impact for her when it was placed around her ankle. But, I also love the visibility of having her wear the traditional hotwife marking. So maybe, when the hotwife anklet is in place, the reality of it all will bring her into the right mindset to embrace what is yet to come. Maybe that should read who is yet to come as well.

If I were the purchaser this time, I would definitely send you your own anklet just as a thank you for your thoughts as well as the fact that you certainly qualify for and would look absolutely delicious with one decorating your ankle. I am sure once hubby's jaw came back off the floor, he would realize his own benefits of your ankle adornment.

Thanks for your considerate reply.
Signed,

Just offering a helping hand

 

[SarahsaurusRex]

Hey Dr Liz, you probably won't see this but I'm very sexually attracted to my cousin. We've hooked up a few times and the sex was amazing but he's my cousin. I don't really know what to do. I dunno, any advice would be welcomed

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr Liz,

I'm bored because working 60+hours is apparently not enough and I'm actually thinking and seriously contemplating about getting another degree to duplicate the letters after my name--despite my previous one almost sapping my sanity

But I really want to be a super-villain and take over the world.

Should I follow my dreams or get a goldfish?

Signed,
I should not make decisions when bored

Dear Bored But Thinking Ahead,

As someone who also has world domination ambitions, I suggest getting the goldfish.

While letters after your name looks good on paper and sounds good on podcasts, duplicating them seems of little use to me even if you are contemplating venturing into a whole new area of study. Although, many cute, middle-aged guys can pull off the socially awkward professor type quite well. If that is your real reason for considering a return to the classroom then I say that's hot and go for it!

Otherwise, an unholy alliance between another powerful woman and our sister-wives under the sea is just what this planet needs. Start with the goldfish. I've already developed telepathic powers with sharks and whales and the giant mutant lobsters.

Together, we will be UNSTOPPABLE!!! - except, you know, during the annual sale at Bloomies!


- Doctor "Let's Go Shopping!" Liz